Pretending...

[Melanita]

Here's a question for the guys: Would you rather have an online sexual relationship with a woman who is "being herself"? -- honest about her personality, looks, likes and dislikes -- or with a woman who's pretending to be something she thinks men might like? Are you more excited by a genuine person or by a fantasy?

I'd also like to hear from females on this topic. Thanks for your thoughts!

Now, for the "personal" part: This woman* would like to hear from men who prefer getting to know a real person and sharing ideas, erotic thoughts and experiences (and perhaps mutual pleasure) by online chat or email. PM me if interested.

*The "real" me -- late 40s, chubby, lonely, slightly desperate for male attention and lately obsessed with dicks!!

 

[Raidho]

Female chiming in..

I'd imagine part of it would be whether part of the fantasy was a possible offline meeting.

Another thing to consider, too, is that everyone's fantasy is different. I.e., if the guy had a fantasy for a rounder gal, pretending to be model-thin wouldn't do the guy any good.

If you actually get honest answers, I'd guess that the reaction would be mixed. Some like a little reality with their fantasy, and some like a little fantasy with their reality. I don't think it's all that different with chicks.

Different strokes for different folks.

 

[kittenartist]

Truth

I prefer the truth and I also only share the truth. Ok, maybe I sometimes hesitate about the truth (ex: my height) and try to be vague but when pressed for specifics I like honesty. And for the most part I have recieved postive reactions and a general happiness in the truth. For those who dislike the truth, well, they can fantasize with someone else as far as I am concerned.

Besides. Imaginary personality and looks are hard to keep track of, especially if you were to change to fit every guy's whims. I can imagine keeping notes: "Ok, with Mr. X I am 5'9, thin, a B and blonde... with Mr. Y I am 5'3, curvy, a DD and redheaded... with Mr. Z...." You get the idea. Plus, it pretty much kills the possiblity of meeting in real life without a huge confession.

Basically, it is best to be honest because you never know when you will make a close friend. And there is nothing worse than a relationship built on a lie. And that is the end of my rant

 

[wolfie69]

A little bit of fantasy is good but if you plan on meeting, eventually, then honesty is a must!

I like cuddly and obssessed with dicks kind of women! Where abouts are you located?

 

[finsfan8605]

honesty is the only way to go

 

[KinkyBoyUK]

honestly definetly. lies are a big turn off.

 

[behindthewheel]

Honest

 

[Recidiva]

I've had some great online relationships where I knew exactly nothing about someone and we made everything up...

But my best relationships were with people who were honest about who they were. Mostly because the guys that are hung up on lying really DO have something to hide, and it can just add that weird level of ick to things.

But I did have a long-term relationship online with someone, even met him three times, and accepted a marriage proposal...still don't know his last name. (Long story)

It's the person, whether they're a fantasy or reality, it's the quality of the person's contribution to the relationship. But the folks who value truth tend to end up being friends and don't disappear suddenly, or be discovered on the front page of the newspaper...

 

[KnightWing]

~~raises hand~~ yep... tell 'em the truth. I am what I am and that's all that I am!!! (hey,,, didn't Popeye say something like that!) ((((now the under 30 crowd says "Who the fuck is Popeye???!!!!))))

 

[jjma]

The truth shall get you off

Hi, Melanita--

The temptation, of course, is to, ah, exaggerate the truth: Height, looks, sexual prowess, and the like. And yet there's something very, very erotic about knowing you're dealing with a real person on the other end of the Internet. You may want/need to keep certain things concealed for the sake of discretion, but on the whole my vote is for being as honest as possible under the circumstances.

Cheers,
jjma

 

[Recidiva]

Hi, Melanita--

The temptation, of course, is to, ah, exaggerate the truth: Height, looks, sexual prowess, and the like. And yet there's something very, very erotic about knowing you're dealing with a real person on the other end of the Internet. You may want/need to keep certain things concealed for the sake of discretion, but on the whole my vote is for being as honest as possible under the circumstances.

Cheers,
jjma

I'm married to a guy I met online years ago. Everything was roleplay and we used to joke constantly about the fact that I must be a trucker named Earl and he was a teenage girl. We were completely fictional for the longest time. Then we started joking about voices, who has a sexy voice. He called me at work on a dare, and it was all over. Neither of us actually thought the other person could really be funny, charming AND attractive.

 

[SallySquirts]

sweetie dont worry about finding boys
girls do it better

 

[Brian_m35]

Got to have the truth...

Fantasy is nice when it's just in your mind, but if you're going to end up meeting then you have to have the truth. I met someone online a few years back and we chatted for a while before finally agreeing to meet. Needless to say she was nothing like she described herself and even admitted that the picture she sent was not her, but a friend. It was the last time we met or talked. Had she just been honest from the start we'd probably be talking still.

 

[MarkSand]

I would be far more interested in and excited by the truth. For any relationship to be truly intimate requires a high degree of trust. You can't be truly present and participating "in the moment" if you're working from a script and concerned with maintaning a fantasy facade. If the chemistry is right and people are open, adventurous and non-judgmental, then appearance is purely secondary. It's attitude and affection that count!

 

[bamagirl]

I prefer the truth and I also only share the truth. Ok, maybe I sometimes hesitate about the truth (ex: my height) and try to be vague but when pressed for specifics I like honesty. And for the most part I have recieved postive reactions and a general happiness in the truth. For those who dislike the truth, well, they can fantasize with someone else as far as I am concerned.

Besides. Imaginary personality and looks are hard to keep track of, especially if you were to change to fit every guy's whims. I can imagine keeping notes: "Ok, with Mr. X I am 5'9, thin, a B and blonde... with Mr. Y I am 5'3, curvy, a DD and redheaded... with Mr. Z...." You get the idea. Plus, it pretty much kills the possiblity of meeting in real life without a huge confession.

Basically, it is best to be honest because you never know when you will make a close friend. And there is nothing worse than a relationship built on a lie. And that is the end of my rant

You said it all....Honesty is always the best policy

 

[ces1581]

Honesty

It's the best way to go.

 

[cosmiccupl]

truthful..... most definetly ....My wife and I originally met online and we shared "all" about ourselves. The truth was hard to spit out sometimes ,but ultimatley was the basis for the wonderfdul relationship that we have today. Just so you know we weren't looking to get attached at the time we started chatting, but it turned into that partly due to the honest nature of our relationship.

 

[clos11]

Hi, Melanita--

The temptation, of course, is to, ah, exaggerate the truth: Height, looks, sexual prowess, and the like. And yet there's something very, very erotic about knowing you're dealing with a real person on the other end of the Internet. You may want/need to keep certain things concealed for the sake of discretion, but on the whole my vote is for being as honest as possible under the circumstances.

Cheers,
jjma

Id have to agree, knowing that the person you are talking to is real is alot more exciting. I am always honest as well. Unless there is some roleplaying going on of course.

 

[LaraCB]

Yes do agree with all the above, You have to be honest because you will always get caught out in the end. I chat to a few men and have been honest with them all, it is the best way......and much more fun

 

[kittenartist]

Off Topic

~~raises hand~~ yep... tell 'em the truth. I am what I am and that's all that I am!!! (hey,,, didn't Popeye say something like that!) ((((now the under 30 crowd says "Who the fuck is Popeye???!!!!))))

I am twenty-three and I totally know all about Popeye. Was just talking about him last night as I used some Olive Oil. And I loves me spinach. Just thought I'd mention it

 

[HornyProf]

Honesty, definitely. both giving and receiving

 

[nyrjmk]

if there is no honesty from the onset you are destined for failure, the question is only in regard to what you are looking for, short term thrills is great in fantasy but a relationship requires honesty.

Here's a question for the guys: Would you rather have an online sexual relationship with a woman who is "being herself"? -- honest about her personality, looks, likes and dislikes -- or with a woman who's pretending to be something she thinks men might like? Are you more excited by a genuine person or by a fantasy?

I'd also like to hear from females on this topic. Thanks for your thoughts!

Now, for the "personal" part: This woman* would like to hear from men who prefer getting to know a real person and sharing ideas, erotic thoughts and experiences (and perhaps mutual pleasure) by online chat or email. PM me if interested.

*The "real" me -- late 40s, chubby, lonely, slightly desperate for male attention and lately obsessed with dicks!!

 

[celticwolf]

I'll chime in with the "Honesty is the Best Policy" crowd. Be real. That's all that matters.

CWolf

 

[jojodancer]

hi there

always be yourself,darlin..the fantasy-barbie stuff is much more fun after someone knows the real you..then its time for all sorts of make-believe if it works for both people..

 

[cost]

The truth......as said ......Never felt it nessasary to lie to some one i dont know. But when i say im married but come here alone....that usually closes the door......