Preserving tightness

[PertPerth]

my 2 cents: being on top is a good position for a first timer because you're in control of how deep, how fast etc.

I like the theory behind that - only I don't agree. Speaking from experience as a woman who has OVERLY tight vaginal muscles, the most relaxed/least painful way is laying flat on your back with knees slightly bent and dropped to the sides. Having to straddle and hold yourself up generally means that you're going to tighten your vaginal muscles, making it harder for him to enter - and thus cause more friction/pain.

So Amy711, don't worry about vaginal tightness until it's a problem! I'm 29 and still trying to get a little looser!

 

[SweetErika]

Oh, and by their definition, the hymen would be quite a bit inside the vagina. Afterall, a lot of people count everything between a woman's legs as the vagina.

I understand what you're saying (that they're counting the distance between the labia and vaginal entrance, right?), but I'm talking about specific descriptions, like:

His cockhead entered her tight, dripping hole. He pushed a little deeper and felt her pussy muscles contract around his thick member. A few inches in, his cock met some resistance.

She said, "Just do it, baby."

So he pulled back until his tip was just inside her opening, and then pushed forward in one big thrust, popping her cherry. She screamed in pain, then he felt her pussy muscles contract as her shriek faded into a deep moan.

And, actually, when I've talked to these authors about it, they explicitly told me they had always thought the hymen was a ring of tissue inches inside the vaginal CANAL, just a few inches from the "top" (the cervix).

Make no mistake about it, a lot of people are exceedingly confused about what's "down there." We've even had people say the hymen was inside the vaginal canal and insist they felt their cocks going into the uterus right here in How To. Crazy!

I like the theory behind that - only I don't agree. Speaking from experience as a woman who has OVERLY tight vaginal muscles, the most relaxed/least painful way is laying flat on your back with knees slightly bent and dropped to the sides. Having to straddle and hold yourself up generally means that you're going to tighten your vaginal muscles, making it harder for him to enter - and thus cause more friction/pain.

So Amy711, don't worry about vaginal tightness until it's a problem! I'm 29 and still trying to get a little looser!

I like the theory of woman-on-top, too, but I agree with you. I also think of myself as a teen, even more self-conscious, and I think being on top might have focused too much attention on me and made me tense up. And then I'd wonder if I was going to slow or doing enough to give him pleasure "on top" of all of that.

It's a fabulous position for some women and has a lot of benefits, but I can see a definite downside, too.

Amy, take your time and try a couple of different positions without him entering you to see what's most comfortable for you, in that moment. Maybe he'll tease you with his cock while he's on top, then you'll tease him when you're on top, and it'll just feel right at that time to try slipping it in a bit. If you find that's not working for whatever reason, try switching back.

There's simply no right or wrong answer here, because everything feels different, depending on the moment. DO keep a sense of humor through any fumbles...some of the most incredible sex includes lots of laughter! But, overall, don't overthink/plan it (apart from protecting against pregnancy, STDs...you really can't ever be TOO safe!), and just enjoy whatever is happening and feels good in the moment. If you go in with knowledge, a good attitude, trust and caring about each other, you're likely going to enjoy it immensely. And, when you get more experience, you'll find it gets even better.

 

[infinity706]

I'm not even sure what to say about the cocks going into the uterus part. There is space beside the cervix, so maybe that's what they're thinking? I guess it be a little of both with the hymen, though. Some people just call everything the vagina and some people just don't know how things are really set up. Afterall, most people have probably never seen a hymen and just assume that any pain from their first fuck is caused by it.

 

[rthnck]

I think this hymen discussion is going off topic a little bit but here is some links to the gallery for those that don't know what one looks like:

http://www.healthystrokes.com/hymengallery.html

http://www.coolnurse.com/anatomy.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Imene.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen