Present Tense Erotica

[HeyAll]

Anyone ever try this?

I've been writing traditional past tense for about 10 years. A year ago I dabbled in present tense for an epilogue to a story.

3 of my upcoming stories are now present tense. I have no idea what the reaction will be since I've never submitted a full present tense story. I don't recall ever reading a present tense story on Lit either.

I love it so far because it's new and I feel it opens the mind to new descriptions and writing. It takes a while to get used to though.

Don't get me wrong, past tense is still superior, but this is interesting.


Traditional Past Tense:

She walked to the dresser and dropped her robe. Her heart was pounding but she has a lot of experience doing this.

"Good morning," she said.


Present Tense:

She walks to the dresser and drops her robe. Her heart is pounding but she has a lot of experience doing this.

"Good morning," she says.


Interesting, right?

 

[ElectricBlue]

There's a huge number of present tense stories on Lit. I've got several, including one which accidentally bugged Simon because I'd tense shifted without realising - I'd written the sex scenes present tense (more immediacy), then shifted back to traditional past tense for the main narrative.

In a thread on the topic a while back, it appeared many writers did the same thing sub-consciously; and there was also a broad consensus that you shouldn't do it (tense shift). It's now something I watch for, and still occasionally get caught - fix in edit. It's always the sex scenes.

But present tense? It's just another writer's tool. If anything, I find it gets over-used and often gets exhausting to read; and there's somehow a failure in logic - if you're doing it, how can you telling me about it at the same time?

 

[NotWise]

I've never written an entire story in present tense, but I have used it.

In "Her Dream House," the unnamed female character relates a series of sexual fantasies. The story itself is in third person, but her fantasies are in dialog, first person, present tense.

It was hard to do because I kept slipping out of either first person or present tense, but I thought it was worth the effort. It gave her stories a sense of immediacy as if she were experiencing them as she spoke.

 

[SimonDoom]

This is a great idea. Good luck with it. Past tense is more common but I don't find present tense at all difficult once it's established.

The key with tense, as with point of view, is to be mindful at all times of what you are doing. You can choose one or another, and in some cases even shift them around, as long as you know what you are doing and have a purpose for doing it. What drives me crazy is unconscious tense-shifting, where it's obvious the author just isn't paying attention. My feeling is if the author can't be bothered to pay attention to his or her words, why should I?

Present tense can do two things. One is to establish a sense of immediacy in the moment, which is useful for erotica. The other is that it eliminates the distance between the time the story is told and the time it takes place, so it introduces an element of uncertainty about what is to happen, ESPECIALLY if it's told in the first person.

 

[LAHomedog]

Traditional Past Tense:

She walked to the dresser and dropped her robe. Her heart was pounding but she has a lot of experience doing this.

"Good morning," she said.


Present Tense:

She walks to the dresser and drops her robe. Her heart is pounding but she has a lot of experience doing this.
"Good morning," she says.


Interesting, right?

You are describing how you write character info and directions in a script. For example:


She walks to the dresser and drops her robe. She has a lot of experience doing this.

Susan
(Her heart is pounding)
Good morning.​

[/FONT]

 

[soflabbwlvr]

I have one story written entirely in present tense. I did it as an experiment. I was satisfied with the result, but I'm not sure I would do it again. I don't think the readers even noticed the difference.

 

[KeithD]

I've done it. They usually are short and characterized by breathy immediacy and intensity.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

My series Smoking Hot has the first (female) narrator in past tense, but the main (male) narrator is in present tense - it seemed to suit his voice and his head is the main one the reader is invited to be in. So several chapters are all present tense, along with my most recent story 'Turkish Delight'.

It can add immediacy and a sense of discovering things along with the character, though it's also true that badly-written stories disproportionately use present tense.

 

[LilyWaters]

Anyone ever try this?

I've been writing traditional past tense for about 10 years. A year ago I dabbled in present tense for an epilogue to a story.

3 of my upcoming stories are now present tense. I have no idea what the reaction will be since I've never submitted a full present tense story. I don't recall ever reading a present tense story on Lit either.

I love it so far because it's new and I feel it opens the mind to new descriptions and writing. It takes a while to get used to though.

Don't get me wrong, past tense is still superior, but this is interesting.


Traditional Past Tense:

She walked to the dresser and dropped her robe. Her heart was pounding but she has a lot of experience doing this.

"Good morning," she said.


Present Tense:

She walks to the dresser and drops her robe. Her heart is pounding but she has a lot of experience doing this.

"Good morning," she says.


Interesting, right?

I have only published one story on here (so far!), but I decided to switch from past to present tense about halfway through my first draft. I really wanted the reader to be in the narrator's shoes and to feel the immediacy of her emotions (and sexual sensations.) I don't know that I will use it all the time, but it seemed to fit that particular story and that particular narrator.

 

[HeyAll]

I have only published one story on here (so far!), but I decided to switch from past to present tense about halfway through my first draft. I really wanted the reader to be in the narrator's shoes and to feel the immediacy of her emotions (and sexual sensations.) I don't know that I will use it all the time, but it seemed to fit that particular story and that particular narrator.

If the final draft has past and present tense, be sure to label that it's a new perspective/viewpoint, especially if it's a different character.

I've seen comments on other stories were lots of people complain that the tense changes and/or suddenly the character switches.

I do character switches all the time now, but I label it clearly with bold and center it, so it's as clear as possible.

 

[RetroFan]

I absolutely hate present tense prose, I find it pretentious, giving off an 'Aren't I clever, I'm writing in present tense?' sort of vibe, even if this wasn't the intention of the writer.

Some people enjoy reading and writing stories in present tense which is fine with me, but I would never write a present tense story. And if I'm at a library or bookshop browsing and I pick up a book and find it written in present tense, it goes right back on the shelf. Likewise if I clicked on a Lit story to read and it's in present tense, I immediately click the back button.

 

[KeithD]

Umm, OK, to the extent that opinion weighs in with the possible views of tens of thousands of other readers at Literotica in influencing what a writer will or will not write . . .

 

[Rob_Howard]

I haven't written a whole story in present tense, but I have mixed present and past tense in one of the chapters of my series in Lit.

In that chapter, from a first person POV, a girl narrates her past exhibitionist adventures to another girl, in past tense, as anyone would normally narrate to another person.

In the end when both the girls have sex, I describe the sexual act in present tense, from the first person POV.

Writing a whole story in present tense would be interesting. Even more, if it's from first person POV.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

But... but... but... wouldn't you write it in first person then?

I walk to the chest and drop my robe. I have a lot of experience doing this.

Doesn't third person automatically have to be told in past tense? Unless the narrator is there at the time describing things as they happen, so you have a newscaster right there in the room with you?

 

[SimonDoom]

Doesn't third person automatically have to be told in past tense? Unless the narrator is there at the time describing things as they happen, so you have a newscaster right there in the room with you?

Nope. Updike's Rabbit novels are told in present tense, third person. Two of them won the Pulitzer Prize.

Richard Russo's Empire Falls (great book) is, if I recall correctly, told mostly in present tense, third person. It also won the Pulitzer Prize.

Present tense, third person to me is like the literary equivalent of the hand-held camera style of film-making. You're following the main character wherever he/she goes and you don't know what's going to happen.

It can be useful if the action in the story takes place at two different times. Past tense and present tense can be used to distinguish the times in which the story is told. That's the case in Empire Falls (again, I think I'm right about that -- I can't find my copy).

 

[visioneer]

I've written a few stories in present tense, and find it useful to convey a "live as it happens" vibe and, in the case of 1st person POV, maintain a very tight focus. That said, I have no strong preference for either tense. It all depends on how the story and characters take form in my imagination.

I strongly agree with the comments above that stories should not flip tenses midstream -- too disruptive to the reader.

 

[AlexBailey]

I wrote my novel in past tense then went back and changed it to present tense. I really like how it turned out, it's very immediate and more visceral than it was before and it seemed to have been received pretty well.


This conversation comes up pretty often and it always seems to come down to a matter of taste - like licorice: some people love it, others can't stand it.


Ever listen to the classic song 'El Paso,' by Marty Robbins? It changes from past tense to present in the middle.



-----

....
I saddled up and away I did go
Riding alone in the dark

Maybe tomorrow a bullet may find me

Tonight nothing's worse than this pain in my heart
And at last here, I am on the hill overlooking El Paso

I can see Rosa's cantina below....


-----

 

[MillieDynamite]

My Mum writes some fan fiction, nothing erotic, often she'll write in present tense as it gives a sense of immediacy, as if as you read it the story is happening. She believes it draws the reader in and looking at her scores at the site she publishes at, I think she must be right.

 

[8letters]

I associate present tense with YA novels. If I was writing a YA novel, I might use it. As I'm not, I don't.

 

[TadOverdon]

I know someone who captions photos. Always in present tense.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I like writing in Present Tense; not al readers like reading it. I got two complaints for my last year's Winter-Holiday story about the use of Present Tense. Doesn't mean they made me change my writing-style; I will still use Present Tense when I feel for it.

The advantage of first person present tense in suspense is you have no guarantee the narrator will survive. There is some guarantee of them living through it in past tense, but present tense is as if they are relating the story to you as it happens.

 

[SaintCordelia]

I enjoy 3rd person present, though I don't ever write in it. Nor do I write in first. It does add a bit of immediacy to the situation and the storytelling that I think can be really interesting in traditional forms of writing (historical, fantasy, ect), and is definitely a stylistic choice. As everyone has said, any tense shifting pulls you out immediately. I also find present tense a more literary choice, but you can achieve nearly the same thing with 3rd Past tense POV with a "close" narration, as if you don't jump from character to character unless you change scenes.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Doesn't third person automatically have to be told in past tense? Unless the narrator is there at the time describing things as they happen, so you have a newscaster right there in the room with you?

"Who happen to be in the Lord Chancellor's court this murky afternoon besides the Lord Chancellor, the counsel in the cause, two or three counsel who are never in any cause, and the well of solicitors before mentioned? There is the registrar below the judge, in wig and gown; and there are two or three maces, or petty-bags, or privy purses, or whatever they may be, in legal court suits."

- Charles Dickens, "Bleak House"

"Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed,
Droops on the little hands little gold head.
Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares!
Christopher Robin is saying his prayers."

- A.A. Milne, "Vespers"

"A doctor, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar..."
- Unknown

Third-person present tense has become more popular in recent years, but it's been around since at least Dickens. A lot of authors switch between past and present tense to indicate things like a change in focus or mood.

 

[ChloeTzang]

I've written a couple of 1st person present tense stories, and I really like the immediacy. It gives some extra zing when you're looking at stepping up the intensity of the experience you're trying to convey.

Mind you, I've also done a couple of 2nd person present tense stories, and I find that a bit more challenging. Just staying in the right tense and POV is hard with that combo.

 

[MillieDynamite]

That's the experience that I'm after. I have written several stories 1st POV Present Tense, and then I want the reader to look through my eyes and know what I'm thinking, with only some of the limited information and misinformation that I have at that moment, but know nothing anything more than I could have known.

I don't see the need why I have to die at the end of my story; I'm too young to die and I have a wife and children that are somewhat depending on me. It may have a great shock-effect, if the main character dies, but that doesn't mean Present Tense isn't suitable for stories where (s)he stays alive.

But it may be that... the story was in Loving Wives; maybe the readers were hoping the person would die a horrible death, and were therefore very disappointed by its ending.

I didn't say the narrator had to, only that their was the possibility. Though I think in some stories, with a hero maybe, you could kill them off. After it's only a story. If he saves the day, and dies doing it, would be very heroic.