Prep me for a strap on

[eroticashed]

My wife and I bought a strap on for her to use on me. We tried and it was NOT going well. What can men (and women I guess) do to make it ...easier? It felt like she was going to rip me in two even though she was going slow and it was a pretty normal to small sized cock. We had plenty of lube too. Any thoughts?

 

[FGB]

Well, I've never been strapped or "pegged" but I'm thinking some strong drink or something, a few rounds with a anal vibrator maybe.

A good xxx movie would not go amiss.

 

[Bottomlover]

Read and absorb the stuff about anal in the blank manual thread. Use lots of lube and take it slow and easy. The pleasure takes a little work to get to, but for those who are into it it's worth it. It's not for everyone though, so if there is no pleasure it's not for you. That is OK.

 

[Nekidinaz]

Anal Prep...

If you're new to anal play, it does take some time and practice to get used too. My experience with anal play began with small dildos and butt plugs...and my wife's finger...lol

I've worked my way up in size with my anal toys but it took some time and I learned how to relax my anal muscles so entry is much easier and way more pleasant feeling...I really enjoy anal play and if you practice and take your time, you will probably enjoy it too...hope this helps

 

[janeyl]

Bend over boyfriend do excellent instructional videos for female to male strap on play and Betty Dodson writes some good stuff about general anal sex and preparation for that...

time, lots of play with fingers and tongue, small well lubed dildoes...when she starts to enter you, breathe and bear down very slightly as though you want to poo...if you tense because you anticipate pain, it'll not happen so stop and go back to gentle play again...

my partner likes to douche beforehand too because if he's conscious about not being clean it means he can't fully relax...

 

[monoblanco]

My wife and I bought a strap on for her to use on me. We tried and it was NOT going well. What can men (and women I guess) do to make it ...easier? It felt like she was going to rip me in two even though she was going slow and it was a pretty normal to small sized cock. We had plenty of lube too. Any thoughts?

Hmmm... sounds like it might be an issue of positioning.

Can you take the dildo if she's NOT wearing it? If not, there's your problem. If so, try a different position.

You should probably start out on top. As any woman can tell you, from there you control everything: angle, speed, depth, etc.

Plus, from that position, assuming she's into it, you have the added bonus that you can get yourself off on her chest.

 

[simplegirl]

First, don't even attempt any type of penetration right off the bat. Take time to tease and play around the anus with a lubed finger. You want those muscles to relax and being turned on and going for the gusto just isn't enough. Either yourself or your partner, tease, play, rub the anus and gradually insert 1 finger, keep playing, relaxing and move to insert two fingers. Whenever you feel yourself tensing up, stop, take a deep breath, relax and then keep going. This is not something you want to do in a rush. Use plenty of lube...as the saying goes, when you think you have too much, it's almost enough. Anal foreplay is your friend. Once you've relaxed enough to take two fingers, then and only then, try the strap on. I hope that helps!

 

[njlauren]

I like simplegirl's ideas, the key is to take it slow and build up to it. Fingers are a great way to get the opening loose and to more importantly get you to relax, and it does take foreplay, even with lube just 'ramming it in' doesn't work. You need to build up to it, maybe have your wife use it on you without the strap on first, have her get an idea of what works, and I agree, try it on yourself, too, to see what works.

Couple of other suggestions:

1)Before doing this, I highly suggest doing an enema, either pre packaged or from a bag. Not only is it cleaner, it also helps I found loosens it up and also to a certain extent pre-lubes it. Also, if your wife wants to rim you to get you to loosen up, lot easier. Consider a couple of rounds, you can even have some water based lubed mixed in with the water.

2)When using lube, see if you can find the lube dispenser that looks like a large syringe, so you can get the lube inside (fingers can do that, too). Lot of people put it on the outside, but injecting it in there, and putting lube on the dildo, will help make it work better, rather than depending on the lube to spread it in by itself.

One handy guide, I recommend Tristan Taormino's book on Anal sex, I think it is called the complete guide to anal sex or some such, it is excellent.

I can tell you when you get over the initial discomfort, it can be fantastic, and it is amazing what you can take, I have had up to 10" dildos and the real thing, and it is amazing,never thought I could do that

 

[ntp]

Plenty of good advice here. You might try the enema thing simply so that you won't be worried about a mess - if you're worried about it, you're going to tense up, which will make it much more difficult. Position (both body position, and position/angle of entry) makes a difference, so you should experiment with that. Also, play with the dildo by itself before you try using it as a strap-on, that way you will be able to learn how to relax and let it into you without all the other stuff. Also consider using it or another toy immediately before having your partner penetrate you - once you're all relaxed and lubed it will be much easier and more fun for both of you when it's strapped on. Once you've gotten the hang of it a bit, the need for deliberate preparation will probably lessen. Also I guess make sure the toy you're using is a comfortable size for you in the first place!

 

[hotblue17]

lauren and simplegirl are 100% correct. Build up to it and go slow. I had a gf who loved to use a strap on me and it took awhile to get used to it. Start with fingers (make sure her nails are cut!). Massage the area, then use one finger. Then two. Then the smallest toy you have. Then get larger and larger. I've found it works the best doggie style. Having you try to ride her is hard because you'll want to sit down quicker than you probably should. You also MUST be vocal. Because she can't feel what you're going through, you have to be the one to tell her. Until you get used to it, tell her to just kneel there. You move back and force, pushing the dlido in/out of you. This will give you control. Also... as most everyone has mentioned... don't forget the lube. If done right, it should feel amazing. If it's done wrong, it will hurt like hell. Good luck!

 

[cordite]

It has been said already but can't be emphasized enough: take it slow and use plenty of lube. Use fingers or a toy on your own to better understand what does and doesn't work for you.