RickyReturns
Loves Spam
- Joined
- May 27, 2016
- Posts
- 3
Ever since my mom and dad split up last year, my mom turned into a mega-diva. Literally. She gave herself blonder hair, fake tan, fake boobs (36C, saw the tag on her new bras). Her always glossed lips now have a permanent pout that somehow is snobby and sexy looking at the same time. Which matches her mostly snobby new personality. Btw: my mom's name is Rinna.
When Rinna moved us to this fancy beach colony/gated community post divorce and "fakeover", she stood out from all of the other same-looking moms, instantly winning their dislike and jealousy. And yeah while it may be true that the other moms didn't really give mine any sort of benefit of the doubt and judged her based on her "Real Housewives" look and fashion style, it didn't take very long for my mom to prove they would've been right anyway.
With one strike against her on the first day we moved in, Rinna had her second by the end of the week when all the husbands and dads got a look at her as she went about doing errands and setting up her office in the Plaza for her new business: Event Planner. So at the same time she was getting more and more attention from the husbands and dads, she was getting probably double the jealousy of the wives and moms.
The thing that sorta all unites them is how everyone can't stand the way my mom acts as if she isn't aware - at least the obvious surface of it - the drama she was generating. While she doesn't show herself off or flaunt her figure, my mom dresses in what I heard her say is "sophistically sexy" one day and "sexy but sophisticated" another when talking about how her "fashion expression"
By now it should be obvious how embarrassing and frustrating it is to have Rinna as my mom. I made some new friends: Bryce and Steve and Mike, which of course, my mom is snobby to and will ignore them deliberately. She's probably do worse if she found out how much they goof on me about how my mom is a "MILF" and how her "ex-weather bimbo Jillian Barberie meets ultimate MILF Lisa Ann" look/style is "perfect porn star potential"
can't believe my eyes but there's the proof...
Bryce actually did it. Just like he said he would. And he did.
One moment I was hanging out with Bryce, Steve, and Mike in my driveway shooting hoops and bullshiting. Well, actually those guys where shooting hoops and bullshitting. I'm not as athletic, so I sat off to the side. It was cool by me. At least I wasn't hanging out by myself.
As usual when the other guys were around, the main topic of conversation was my mom, Rinna Kener. How amazing hot she was. The way she dressed. Debating about if her breasts were real or not. I could have told them they were paid for, but Bryce said that would be cheating. At the time, I didn't know what Bryce meant.
But later I would find out.
And just as before we heard the rev of an engine, Bryce said, "Speak of the devil!" Rinna drove her car right up the driveway and those guys all had to scatter as she paid no mind that they had been playing basketball.
I could see Bryce was kinda pissed and Steve and Mike took their cues from him, so they were all looking over at where my mom was still sitting in her car, talking on her cell. Bryce said, "This better be worth almost getting run over, Ricky."
See, the real reason Bryce and Steve and Mike were over wasn't to shoot hoops. It was because they said if I ever saw Rinna leaving the house to run errands or to the mall and she was wearing something "like a MILF ready to to audition for her first porn" that I should call them so they could either go where she went to check her out or if I didn't know where she was going, they would come to the house and hang out to try to get a look at her when she came home.
Bryce told Me and Steve and Mike to distract her when she got out of the car and he would stand off on her blind spot and try to get pics on his iPhone of her.
The week before my annoying hot mom Rinna's big fundraising even and just take a look at Robbie's snaps he got of her in the parking lot of the outdoor plaza she's having converted for the big night. The moving guys were having trouble with some fancy podium my mom ordered and they dropped it. The look on Rinna's face is seconds before she put her glossy lip gloss lips into full snobby pout mode and yelled at the two movers. Later on, Robbie said he was hoping my mom's sweater would've popped open from the way she was acting. I said it'd be even funnier if she wore the same sweater onstage and it happened during the fundraiser. I was really stoned when I said it, but for a while, Robbie had this funny look in his eye.
When Rinna moved us to this fancy beach colony/gated community post divorce and "fakeover", she stood out from all of the other same-looking moms, instantly winning their dislike and jealousy. And yeah while it may be true that the other moms didn't really give mine any sort of benefit of the doubt and judged her based on her "Real Housewives" look and fashion style, it didn't take very long for my mom to prove they would've been right anyway.
With one strike against her on the first day we moved in, Rinna had her second by the end of the week when all the husbands and dads got a look at her as she went about doing errands and setting up her office in the Plaza for her new business: Event Planner. So at the same time she was getting more and more attention from the husbands and dads, she was getting probably double the jealousy of the wives and moms.
The thing that sorta all unites them is how everyone can't stand the way my mom acts as if she isn't aware - at least the obvious surface of it - the drama she was generating. While she doesn't show herself off or flaunt her figure, my mom dresses in what I heard her say is "sophistically sexy" one day and "sexy but sophisticated" another when talking about how her "fashion expression"
By now it should be obvious how embarrassing and frustrating it is to have Rinna as my mom. I made some new friends: Bryce and Steve and Mike, which of course, my mom is snobby to and will ignore them deliberately. She's probably do worse if she found out how much they goof on me about how my mom is a "MILF" and how her "ex-weather bimbo Jillian Barberie meets ultimate MILF Lisa Ann" look/style is "perfect porn star potential"
can't believe my eyes but there's the proof...
Bryce actually did it. Just like he said he would. And he did.
One moment I was hanging out with Bryce, Steve, and Mike in my driveway shooting hoops and bullshiting. Well, actually those guys where shooting hoops and bullshitting. I'm not as athletic, so I sat off to the side. It was cool by me. At least I wasn't hanging out by myself.
As usual when the other guys were around, the main topic of conversation was my mom, Rinna Kener. How amazing hot she was. The way she dressed. Debating about if her breasts were real or not. I could have told them they were paid for, but Bryce said that would be cheating. At the time, I didn't know what Bryce meant.
But later I would find out.
And just as before we heard the rev of an engine, Bryce said, "Speak of the devil!" Rinna drove her car right up the driveway and those guys all had to scatter as she paid no mind that they had been playing basketball.
I could see Bryce was kinda pissed and Steve and Mike took their cues from him, so they were all looking over at where my mom was still sitting in her car, talking on her cell. Bryce said, "This better be worth almost getting run over, Ricky."
See, the real reason Bryce and Steve and Mike were over wasn't to shoot hoops. It was because they said if I ever saw Rinna leaving the house to run errands or to the mall and she was wearing something "like a MILF ready to to audition for her first porn" that I should call them so they could either go where she went to check her out or if I didn't know where she was going, they would come to the house and hang out to try to get a look at her when she came home.
Bryce told Me and Steve and Mike to distract her when she got out of the car and he would stand off on her blind spot and try to get pics on his iPhone of her.
The week before my annoying hot mom Rinna's big fundraising even and just take a look at Robbie's snaps he got of her in the parking lot of the outdoor plaza she's having converted for the big night. The moving guys were having trouble with some fancy podium my mom ordered and they dropped it. The look on Rinna's face is seconds before she put her glossy lip gloss lips into full snobby pout mode and yelled at the two movers. Later on, Robbie said he was hoping my mom's sweater would've popped open from the way she was acting. I said it'd be even funnier if she wore the same sweater onstage and it happened during the fundraiser. I was really stoned when I said it, but for a while, Robbie had this funny look in his eye.
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