Praise the Lord.

[Jenny_Jackson]

After three entire weeks of counciling, Rev Ted Haggard claims he is "entirely Heterosexual." I still don't think this explains his 2 year weiner roast with a gay male prostitute. But, at least, Rev Ted is SAVED

 

[mjl2010]

After three entire weeks of counciling, Rev Ted Haggard claims he is "entirely Heterosexual." I still don't think this explains his 2 year weiner roast with a gay male prostitute. But, at least, Rev Ted is SAVED

Well thats nice. Who the hell is Ted Haggard?

From inside his bubble...

MJL

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Can I get a Halleujia my brothers and sisters!!??

 

[TE999]

After three entire weeks of counciling, Rev Ted Haggard claims he is "entirely Heterosexual." I still don't think this explains his 2 year weiner roast with a gay male prostitute. But, at least, Rev Ted is SAVED

He should have continued the weenie roast and invested instead.

Saving rates suck right now.

 

[3113]

Amen! Amen!

I'm sure the homosexual community is offering thanks to Jesus tonight for that. Who in God's name would want him as part of their community? Can you imagine how embarassing he'd be in the Gay Pride Parade?

What a relief to hear that he's been cured

 

[S-Des]

Amen! Amen!

I'm sure the homosexual community is offering thanks to Jesus tonight for that. Who in God's name would want him as part of their community? Can you imagine how embarassing he'd be in the Gay Pride Parade?

LOL, isn't that the truth. Except we don't want him in the heterosexual community either. Any volunteers?

 

[Boxlicker101]

LOL, isn't that the truth. Except we don't want him in the heterosexual community either. Any volunteers?

Maybe the Phelps community might accept him. They deserve each other.

 

[SeaCat]

Maybe the Phelps community might accept him. They deserve each other.

Oh that hurt. I started laughing so hard I blasted Beer out of my nose.

Cat

 

[Stella_Omega]

Damn, I wonder if they could cure me of my lassitude in only three weeks?

Of course a bad habit like laziness is FAR more complex than a simple think like sexual preference.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

After three entire weeks of counciling, Rev Ted Haggard claims he is "entirely Heterosexual." I still don't think this explains his 2 year weiner roast with a gay male prostitute. But, at least, Rev Ted is SAVED

As 3113 so rightly pointed out, this must be considered a big gain for homosexuals of every sort and a mind-boggling insult to the straight community. It's still just an unconfirmed rumor, however, that many of the latter group are considering moving into the space made available in the great closet of life now that so many gays have come out of the same.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

OK, Jon Stewart just covered this on the Daily Show.

He said, remember how your dad cured you when he caught you smoking behind the barn?

He made you smoke a carton, right?

And now Haggard is cured? Apparently Haggard has been a busy boy!

 

[Shivanhellkite]

But we (the straights) don't want him back on our side. Maybe he should go into a penalty box (like in hockey) and stay there for eternity (by himself).

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

But we (the straights) don't want him back on our side. Maybe he should go into a penalty box (like in hockey) and stay there for eternity (by himself).

Or with his (X) boyfriend?

 

[3113]

As 3113 so rightly pointed out, this must be considered a big gain for homosexuals of every sort and a mind-boggling insult to the straight community.

Then why'd you do it Rumpy? Come on, 'fess up! We know the Right Rev. Foreskin can work such miracles. I can't think of anyone else who could have cured him in three short weeks. Did you lay hands on him or something?

 

[Boxlicker101]

Then why'd you do it Rumpy? Come on, 'fess up! We know the Right Rev. Foreskin can work such miracles. I can't think of anyone else who could have cured him in three short weeks. Did you lay hands on him or something?

What a revolting thought that is, laying hands on that jerk. Would it work if you laid feet on him? How about hands wearing steel knuckles?

 

[elsol]

So strike breakfast sausage at the Haggard home...

(Really, I feel so ashamed of having typed that!)

"Entirely heterosexual" is that Evangelical Christian for 'bunghole chastity belt'?

(Even more ashamed.)

Next, he'll claim he's never masturbated too, eh?

 

[3113]

Next, he'll claim he's never masturbated too, eh?

No, no. He's come clean. So to speak. He'll admit to the masterbation, but claim that three weeks of therapy cured him of the desire and he won't be doing it any more.

I'm sure his congregation will believe him and trust him.

 

[S-Des]

No, no. He's come clean. So to speak. He'll admit to the masterbation, but claim that three weeks of therapy cured him of the desire and he won't be doing it any more.

I'm sure his congregation will believe him and trust him.

The truly sad thing is that some of them will. Hopefully it will be a very small minority.

 

[Guest]

when i saw this on CNN, the story lead read:
"...convinced of his heterosexuality..."


one time, on the way to band camp... no no no...

i believe that jon stewart got this one right.

 

[impressive]

I'm sure his congregation will believe him and trust him.

Yes, especially the ones who are convinced of their own sexuality.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Then why'd you do it Rumpy? Come on, 'fess up! We know the Right Rev. Foreskin can work such miracles. I can't think of anyone else who could have cured him in three short weeks. Did you lay hands on him or something?

Sorry. I saw myself as just doing my bit to keep the banner of gay pride fluttering over the tawdry battlefield of public opinion. Besides, we straights have more practice putting up with Bro Haggard and his ilk.

As for my "laying hands on" that hypocritical, sanctimonious, bottom-feeding scum-bag, oh yes, and fallen brother, please re-read Boxlicker's thoughtful post. (many thanks Bro Box)

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif