Powerful Vignettes.

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The other day I read a memoir of the Treblinka death camp. It was filled with all the usual atrocities and horrors such accounts contain. But the memoir also featured powerful vignettes that stick in your mind and force you to remember them. For example:

Treblinka processed trainloads of Jews all day, everyday. After the cattle-cars were emptied the work crews took the clothing, baggage, and money, and sent the people to the barbers. Something like 200 Jews were used to process the shoes, clothing, and valuables.

But on one occasion a 4 year old girl got overlooked and remained behind with the workers until an SS officer saw her. Sensing her doom she resisted capture with frantic flight and evasion about the yard. The SS officer finally caught the child and shot her. Two hundred Jewish men stood around like passive moo-cows while the girl was stalked and murdered.

So it made me start thinking about what makes for a powerful vignette. One scenario, of course, is good and evil collide, and good takes a chill pill or faints.

 

[squarejohn]

The other day I read a memoir of the Treblinka death camp. It was filled with all the usual atrocities and horrors such accounts contain. But the memoir also featured powerful vignettes that stick in your mind and force you to remember them. For example:

Treblinka processed trainloads of Jews all day, everyday. After the cattle-cars were emptied the work crews took the clothing, baggage, and money, and sent the people to the barbers. Something like 200 Jews were used to process the shoes, clothing, and valuables.

But on one occasion a 4 year old girl got overlooked and remained behind with the workers until an SS officer saw her. Sensing her doom she resisted capture with frantic flight and evasion about the yard. The SS officer finally caught the child and shot her. Two hundred Jewish men stood around like passive moo-cows while the girl was stalked and murdered.

So it made me start thinking about what makes for a powerful vignette. One scenario, of course, is good and evil collide, and good takes a chill pill or faints.

I have always wondered why the Jews took all of that so passively.

One the other hand, they stood their ground quite well in the Warsaw Ghetto. Heroically, one might say.

 

[Loring2]

"But on one occasion a 4 year old girl got overlooked and remained behind with the workers until an SS officer saw her. Sensing her doom she resisted capture with frantic flight and evasion about the yard. The SS officer finally caught the child and shot her. Two hundred Jewish men stood around like passive moo-cows while the girl was stalked and murdered."

I have always wondered why the Jews took all of that so passively.

One the other hand, they stood their ground quite well in the Warsaw Ghetto. Heroically, one might say.

First, I wonder what the 'moo-cows' on AH would look like under these conditions? Secondly, while it is indeed a frightening vignette it is almost certainly a fabricated one or at least one related by a German Guard because no Jew escaped Treblinka alive. That's how well the Jews fared in Treblinka. Such an event might have happened nearly 70 years ago.

However, Jews as passive or as moo-cows, I think not ... no, I know not

 

[TE999]

I have always wondered why the Jews took all of that so passively.

The Jews in Germany were used to a certain level of covert anti-Semitisim, but could not, or chose not to, recognize the intense hatred the Nazi's were stirring up against them. Those who saw it coming got out while they could, the rest dithered or thought they could work something out with Hitler. Wrong.

By the time Krystallnacht occured, it was way too late.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

"But on one occasion a 4 year old girl got overlooked and remained behind with the workers until an SS officer saw her. Sensing her doom she resisted capture with frantic flight and evasion about the yard. The SS officer finally caught the child and shot her. Two hundred Jewish men stood around like passive moo-cows while the girl was stalked and murdered."



First, I wonder what the 'moo-cows' on AH would look like under these conditions? Secondly, while it is indeed a frightening vignette it is almost certainly a fabricated one or at least one related by a German Guard because no Jew escaped Treblinka alive. That's how well the Jews fared in Treblinka. Such an event might have happened nearly 70 years ago.

However, Jews as passive or as moo-cows, I think not ... no, I know not

There were 2 Treblinka camps. Treblinka I had no survivors, Treblinka II had 40 survivors. Treblinka II was the famous death camp, Treblinka I was a work camp to build Treblinka II; when #2 was completed the workers from #1 were murdered.

BELZEC: 2 survivors
CHELMNO: 3 survivors
SOBIBOR: 64 survivors
TREBLINKA: 'around 40 survivors'

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Whats interesting is the morphology of the Judenrat (Jewish police). In the beginning these men were the upstanding sons of prominent and respected Jews; and as time passed they were corrupted.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

But we digress....

What makes for excellent vignettes that capture the reader?

 

[driphoney]

High (intense) drama, even if it's a simple one, and the ability of the reader to be actively experiencing the feelings of the protagonist. To be "in" the scene.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

High (intense) drama, even if it's a simple one, and the ability of the reader to be actively experiencing the feelings of the protagonist. To be "in" the scene.

I'm trying to sort it out so I can duplicate it. I.E. scenes that capture your imagination and pull you in effortlessly. Like watching the jet fly into the World Trade Center, or watching your dog get run over by a truck, or watching a woman expose herself to you in a public place, or walking in while your buddy is cleaning up a prostitute with his tongue.

 

[Toqueme]

It is the total immersion of the senses so that the reader experiences the scene. Even against the reader's will at times. It will evoke the most powerful emotions.
So I think sensory saturation and intense emotion are key.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Back in high school our team was sooooo bad that we were 0-13 the last game of the season, and playing a 13-0 team at their Homecoming, plus they were tied for #1 in our conference. Our loss was a sure thing, and the opponents started celebrating their victory about 7AM. The last 60 seconds of the game the score was 13-0 in favor of the champs.

And we intercepted a pass for 6 points, then made the extra point for 7.

With 30 seconds on the clock we kicked to them and immediately recovered a fumble. Our quarterback let loose a Hail Mary! and the score was 13-13. Then we got the extra point for 14.

 

[CharleyH]

I have always wondered why the Jews took all of that so passively.

You're serious? I hope not.

What I wonder is why no one stood up for the Jews. Oh, right, shitting their pants with fear of being shot dead on the spot. Here's a survival tactic from the perspective from someone who could have helped, but didn't: see nothing, hear nothing, know nothing - survival!

I'd like to think we are enlightened creatures who have learned from the past, but I doubt it. I think under the same circumstances, many would react in the same way today toward a scapegoated group as they did in the 1940's. Is it the Jews fault for being passive, or the fault of the rest of us for being so dumbly afraid to help.

 

[driphoney]

Back in high school our team was sooooo bad that we were 0-13 the last game of the season, and playing a 13-0 team at their Homecoming, plus they were tied for #1 in our conference. Our loss was a sure thing, and the opponents started celebrating their victory about 7AM. The last 60 seconds of the game the score was 13-0 in favor of the champs.

And we intercepted a pass for 6 points, then made the extra point for 7.

With 30 seconds on the clock we kicked to them and immediately recovered a fumble. Our quarterback let loose a Hail Mary! and the score was 13-13. Then we got the extra point for 14.

That's thrilling in person when you're there to experience it, but to make it riveting when writing is something else entirely. As you wrote it, to me it was dull and predictable. But it can be written is such a way that you're hanging on by your seat just as if you were there. How you get that done is what you're after. You've read a lot of How To books, what do the experts say?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

That's thrilling in person when you're there to experience it, but to make it riveting when writing is something else entirely. As you wrote it, to me it was dull and predictable. But it can be written is such a way that you're hanging on by your seat just as if you were there. How you get that done is what you're after. You've read a lot of How To books, what do the experts say?

They dont say how to do it. Its why I are here pickin brains on the subject.

And vignettes dont exist in isolation; the crude example I posted above could be the climax of a sex story about a bargain twixt a lovely girl and a frog...if the Frogs win the game she puts out, if the Frogs lose he forfeits something she really wantz from him. Like in the movie, NERDS.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You're serious? I hope not.

What I wonder is why no one stood up for the Jews. Oh, right, shitting their pants with fear of being shot dead on the spot. Here's a survival tactic from the perspective from someone who could have helped, but didn't: see nothing, hear nothing, know nothing - survival!

I'd like to think we are enlightened creatures who have learned from the past, but I doubt it. I think under the same circumstances, many would react in the same way today toward a scapegoated group as they did in the 1940's. Is it the Jews fault for being passive, or the fault of the rest of us for being so dumbly afraid to help.

The Jews were always exploited when kings needed ready cash; the Muslims did it, the Spaniards did it, the Vatican did it....everyone used them as an ATM. So they naturally thought Hitler would take their money and leave them alone.

 

[squarejohn]

The other day I read a memoir of the Treblinka death camp. It was filled with all the usual atrocities and horrors such accounts contain. But the memoir also featured powerful vignettes that stick in your mind and force you to remember them. For example:

Treblinka processed trainloads of Jews all day, everyday. After the cattle-cars were emptied the work crews took the clothing, baggage, and money, and sent the people to the barbers. Something like 200 Jews were used to process the shoes, clothing, and valuables.

But on one occasion a 4 year old girl got overlooked and remained behind with the workers until an SS officer saw her. Sensing her doom she resisted capture with frantic flight and evasion about the yard. The SS officer finally caught the child and shot her. Two hundred Jewish men stood around like passive moo-cows while the girl was stalked and murdered.

So it made me start thinking about what makes for a powerful vignette. One scenario, of course, is good and evil collide, and good takes a chill pill or faints.

I think you would have to develop deeply the characters involved.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

SJ

Not necessarily. Depends on whether a significant character is part of the vignette or 'set-piece.' The event by itself can change the whole story but involve no characters.

 

[CharleyH]

The Jews were always exploited when kings needed ready cash; the Muslims did it, the Spaniards did it, the Vatican did it....everyone used them as an ATM. So they naturally thought Hitler would take their money and leave them alone.

ghrrm.

 

[JT_Stone]

The Longest Day

If you want to read some powerful vignettes check out The Longest Day. It is really amazing.

The author interviewed an incredible number (don't know the exact figure but I think it was around 2,000) Allied soldiers, German soldiers, French resistors, and civilians in Normandy. He weaves their stories through the time line of the battle. It reads like a novel but is meticulously factual.

I encourage anyone with an interest in military history, WWII, or just incredible human drama to pick it up. After the first page you won't be able to put it down.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Here's one: "Have you ever watched a gut-shot horse, screaming, drag his dead mate, his dead driver, and his broken wagon down the road till he dies? Horses die more noisily than men."

 

[JT_Stone]

Here's one: "Have you ever watched a gut-shot horse, screaming, drag his dead mate, his dead driver, and his broken wagon down the road till he dies? Horses die more noisily than men."

Good one.


From The Longest Day:

Each wave of boats gave up its own bloody contribution to the incoming tide, and all along the crescent-shaped strip of beach dead Americans gently nudged each other in the water.

The author's name is Cornelius Ryan

 

[LaRocha]

in sex stories the moment is usually right before or after sex. should we bone, I don't think it's going to happen, the reader's worried it's not going to happen, it happens. afterward, sex was had we want the characters to be together and have more sex, but there are doubts, the characters aren't right for each other, will his penis ever find her V again?? The artistry comes from describing neatly and originally in a passage or two what's already expected out of the Western story motif.

If that doesn't make sense, just read Moby Dick again. It's like vignette central.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

in sex stories the moment is usually right before or after sex. should we bone, I don't think it's going to happen, the reader's worried it's not going to happen, it happens. afterward, sex was had we want the characters to be together and have more sex, but there are doubts, the characters aren't right for each other, will his penis ever find her V again?? The artistry comes from describing neatly and originally in a passage or two what's already expected out of the Western story motif.

If that doesn't make sense, just read Moby Dick again. It's like vignette central.

I read that the best vignettes come immediately before a plot point.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Another example:

"A big Senegalese, a giant of a man, died slowly, without complaint, his great hands gripping round his thigh at the groin. His eyes were patient, docile, making no appeal. Rich, heavy blood crept stealthily over his big, black fingers."