Post-Rapture Looting Party! Whoo-Hoo!

[3113]

As the "End of the World" thread notes, billboards have been announcing May 21st as when the rapture will happen. Which has raised the question in many a wondering mind: What will you do on May 22nd if you get left behind?

Apparently someone on Facebook is organizing a Post-Rapture Looting party! (don't have a link to it, sorry).

So, Ah-folk. What do you say? I'd like to propose we celebrate this whole pre-rapture week here in this thread. We can take votes and bets on who among us we think will be taken up, and have a Last Supper dinner on May 20th for those lucky prospects. Give them a proper farewell (but we can't get them drunk or they'll miss it!). Then, on May 22nd, those of us left behind can really party!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Or we could just tell the silly rapture-believers to fuck off on May 22:nd. Since they are supposed to be in heaven by then, they don't officially exist here on earth anymore, so we can pretend not to see or hear them, and we can claim whatever they think they own as "finders keepers".

 

[manyeyedhydra]

Hmm. Spots business opportunity.

"Left behind on May 21st? Let us help you get to heaven..."

 

[3113]

Or we could just tell the silly rapture-believers to fuck off on May 22:nd. Since they are supposed to be in heaven by then, they don't officially exist here on earth anymore, so we can pretend not to see or hear them, and we can claim whatever they think they own as "finders keepers".

There ya go! Looting party!

But I don't see why we shouldn't have a going away party for them on the 20th. We can serve them Angel food cakes and the rest of us can have devil's food....

http://www.finecooking.com/assets/uploads/posts/13117/051103076-01-devils-food-cake-recipe_xlg_lg.jpg

 

[jomar]

I got your rapture right here!

 

[JackLuis]

May 22nd 2011

Chastity Goodpussy awoke from a fretful slumber confronted by a bright light that warmed her fair skin with its radiance.

Her heart skipped a beat as she thought that this was the Redeemer coming to gather her into the bosom of the Lord! She sat up in bed and blinking, slid back against the head board.

She screamed aloud in her rapture “Take me, Jesus!” and tore open her light cotton pajama top exposing her pale breasts to the heat of the Radiant One as he grew in intensity. Unable to look at him, she had to look down, unable to bear the intensity of the Radiant one. “My eyes are still mortal,” she thought. It was her first truly rational thought since being awakened and it shocked her that it seemed so normal. She blinked and looked at her fair breasts as they were glowing in the white light and the spirit of the Lord felt so hot as it burned the awful lust she had suppressed, in order to insure her membership in the faithful.

The heat felt good, so good that her nipples were clinching and she let her hand cup her breast and capture her sinful nipple, lest the Radiant one see her loose power over her own body. “No,” she thought, “No, not after all those years,” of wanting to have some one caress her breast and let her feel the wonder of human congress and perhaps, the lips of her own baby, suckling and, “No!” she screamed and hid her sinful nipple from the gaze of the Lord.

Yet the heat was unrelenting and she realized that it was the Lord smelting the impure emotions she had struggled with all these years, to prepare her for Paradise. She threw back the light sheet that covered her, slid out of her pajama bottoms and spread her legs to let the Power of the Redeemer take the spirit of the Devil out of her womb.

She closed her eyes and held her rebellious paps that even now were tingling in the heat of the Lord’s power. Chastity grimaced as the hair on her mound began to feel the heat of the Lord’s radiance, and she whimpered as the heat caused her feel those pangs of sinful pleasure denied once again. The Radiant One grew hotter and hotter, as he burned the impure thoughts from Chastity’s mind, yet the physical body was more resistant to the power of the Lord. She knew that the Devil didn’t yield easily, she would have to…

She gasped when Brother Robert came into the room, wrapped only in a towel, “I heard you screaming.” He said as his eyes beheld the naked beauty of the fair Chastity and his mouth fell open.

Chastity looked at Robert then at the Radiant one, who had by this time risen over the Horizon enough that the sun’s full disk was visible. She gasped at the idea that she had not been taken. She had not been a chosen one! All those years she had been true and faithful and now she was going to Hell with the heathens!

Robert said, “Are you alright?” and sat at the edge of the bed, taking her slim hand in his.
Chastity didn’t resist, she had no strength to resist anything now that she was condemned to eternal damnation. Yet her inner compassion came to her and she said, softly, “You weren’t taken either?”
Robert’s eyes fell and he sobbed, “No, I looked all through the house and everyone is gone,” his eyes came to Chastity’s blue eyes and he sobbed, “ But us!”

Chastity had spent the evening of the rapture with her church, the Brotherly Lovers of Christ, in the retreat camp at Lake Osowaggolggle, which was more of a pond really. It was surrounded by pecan trees and in the early light of the Texas dawn, it had been the sun shining through the tree trunks into her tent that had caused Chastity to believe that she had been chosen, she clutched Robert to her and cried on his shoulder.
His arms encircled her and he held her lightly at first. They were both crying and holding each other. Chastity’s lips touched Robert’s smooth chest and she turned her head to feel his strength. Robert had been the greatest help in so ways to the ministry, but he had been a test of her resolve. Chastity had wanted Robert to hold her like this for years and she felt the Devil raising up, in his towel.

Chastity forced Robert’s face from her neck and said to him, “Robert we are going to hell, do you realize that?”
“But I never even…” It was too much for him, he sobbed and kissed her. Kissing Chastity was more that he had imagined, and he had a pretty fair imagination.

Chastity felt the Devil take her and she didn’t resist. She pulled Robert over and smothered him with the kisses she had wanted to give him all these years.

o~O~o​

And so it was that the Church of the Brotherly Lovers came into being. It is a small but fervent congregation that preaches “Love your neighbor, and your neighbor's ass too!”

 

[Guest]

*deleted*

 

[TE999]

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be 'lifted up' and I don't care.

The world will be better off without those judgmental, proselytizing, holier-than-thou assholes anyway.

In the words of Billy Joel "I'd rather laugh with the sinners, than cry with the saints."


PS: Sign me up for the looting.