Many years ago, I was in a 2 going on 3 year long relationship with a good-looking older woman (I was in my early 30's, she in her mid-40's). In the last few months, I had completely lost interest in her, she became more demanding and unpleasant towards me (I'm not sure which was the cause and which the effect, probably a bit of both) and eventually we broke up.
It was months before we were on speaking terms but eventually we got to the point where we'd see each other socially once in a while. About a year later, on almost a whim we decided to spend the night together for "old time's sake," not expecting much of it, and the sex was electric, even more intense than when we first started dating. While neither of us wanted back into a relationship, we'd meet up every so often for repeat encounters, and for a while it stayed intense. She became so insatiable that if we'd meet at a bar or restaurant, she didn't want to wait to get home, she'd insist on being fucked in the back seat of the car in the parking lot and one time, in the lot behind a restaurant next to a dumpster (very romantic!). After a month or two of this it became stale and routine, so we again went our separate ways, but for a few weeks it was incredible.
I think that the psychology behind it is very much like that of a little kid who isn't interested in something until he thinks that he can't have it - i.e. no interest in an old toy until his parents decided to throw it or give it away, and then it's suddenly his favorite again.
Of course, it doesn't always work this way. Thinking post break-up sex is always something magic, I was delighted when I reconnected with another ex-girlfriend while on a business trip to Jacksonville. When she agreed to get together, I extended my stay to spend time with her. The post-breakup sex with her was awkward for both of us, I had trouble even performing sometimes after noticing that she seemed about as excited about it as folding laundry, as though she were doing it for the sake of formality. Somehow, the "lost toy becoming your favorite again" didn't work at all that time.
What have post-breakup trysts with exes been like for others here? More like the first or the second?
It was months before we were on speaking terms but eventually we got to the point where we'd see each other socially once in a while. About a year later, on almost a whim we decided to spend the night together for "old time's sake," not expecting much of it, and the sex was electric, even more intense than when we first started dating. While neither of us wanted back into a relationship, we'd meet up every so often for repeat encounters, and for a while it stayed intense. She became so insatiable that if we'd meet at a bar or restaurant, she didn't want to wait to get home, she'd insist on being fucked in the back seat of the car in the parking lot and one time, in the lot behind a restaurant next to a dumpster (very romantic!). After a month or two of this it became stale and routine, so we again went our separate ways, but for a few weeks it was incredible.
I think that the psychology behind it is very much like that of a little kid who isn't interested in something until he thinks that he can't have it - i.e. no interest in an old toy until his parents decided to throw it or give it away, and then it's suddenly his favorite again.
Of course, it doesn't always work this way. Thinking post break-up sex is always something magic, I was delighted when I reconnected with another ex-girlfriend while on a business trip to Jacksonville. When she agreed to get together, I extended my stay to spend time with her. The post-breakup sex with her was awkward for both of us, I had trouble even performing sometimes after noticing that she seemed about as excited about it as folding laundry, as though she were doing it for the sake of formality. Somehow, the "lost toy becoming your favorite again" didn't work at all that time.
What have post-breakup trysts with exes been like for others here? More like the first or the second?
. My exes were exes for a reason and I wouldn't go back, but one gets the occasional fantasy nod.
