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cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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Re: Re: ... you asked ...
What are any of us here for if not to sample the whole range of human desire, if not to fulfill our deepest longings? Why do we even bother inhabiting our skin if all we're gonna do is breathe inside it for 87 years and then die, never having stretched past our comfortable confines of known sexuality into something daring and wild?
While my way may not be for all, it *is* daring and adventurous. As such, it deserves as much respect as the choices anyone else makes with regard to their sexuality.
It could be i'm a teensy bit defensive today, too, Cogie, since you and i ordinarily get along quite well. In case you meant nothing judgemental by the abovementioned Crikey... sorry... ~sheepishly~
I'm not really that fluent in British English.
C'mon, Coggie. You know you don't want to die never having once been on one side or the other of this kinda intensity.Coggie said:
What are any of us here for if not to sample the whole range of human desire, if not to fulfill our deepest longings? Why do we even bother inhabiting our skin if all we're gonna do is breathe inside it for 87 years and then die, never having stretched past our comfortable confines of known sexuality into something daring and wild?
While my way may not be for all, it *is* daring and adventurous. As such, it deserves as much respect as the choices anyone else makes with regard to their sexuality.
It could be i'm a teensy bit defensive today, too, Cogie, since you and i ordinarily get along quite well. In case you meant nothing judgemental by the abovementioned Crikey... sorry... ~sheepishly~
I'm not really that fluent in British English.
Re: Re: Re: ... you asked ...
cym
1 - Hmm.... I've had, still have, my moments. Do I give you the impression I'm a prude?
2 - Oh my, no dis-respect to you or your way of life was intended. Nothing could've been further from my mind.
3 - Eeks! I wasn't being judgemental at all, "Crikey" was the exclamation of the image you portrayed. Ahem, it was exciting
Hope that's cleared that up
cymbidia said:
cym
1 - Hmm.... I've had, still have, my moments. Do I give you the impression I'm a prude?
2 - Oh my, no dis-respect to you or your way of life was intended. Nothing could've been further from my mind.
3 - Eeks! I wasn't being judgemental at all, "Crikey" was the exclamation of the image you portrayed. Ahem, it was exciting
Hope that's cleared that up
ChaoticLil
Really Experienced
- Joined
- May 24, 2001
- Posts
- 211
cymbidia said:
My kind of girl! I can't think of any other position except maybe doggy style. That is a close second.
Her on top
...allows you to lightly cup her breasts and feel her nipples bounce against the palms of your hands as she rides your cock. Perhaps the best part is that she can also control her own pace.
I love to watch her chest begin to blush as she starts to orgasm.
...allows you to lightly cup her breasts and feel her nipples bounce against the palms of your hands as she rides your cock. Perhaps the best part is that she can also control her own pace.
I love to watch her chest begin to blush as she starts to orgasm.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
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Doggy style: clamped breasts pushing hard against the bedspread, knees open very wide and held securely with strong leather knee cuffs attached to a spreader bar, wrists in cuffs and attached to the collar around my neck, head up against the top of bed so there's no way to slide flat.ChaoticLil said:
Open, wet, and panting.
Waiting.
Flaming into screaming response at the slightest touch.
Doggy style.
cym?
I have two questions, firstly, unless the clamps are *really* tight how the hell do you keep them attached when you're pushed and moving against the bed?
Next, I stuggle to comprehend the hood....... I think I'm comfortable with a gag but for some reason I don't feel comfortable with hoods. What is it that appeals, the loss of vision? Or, possibly, the control your partner may have over your breathing or air passages?
Maybe it's the last point concerning breathing that makes me uncomfortable.
I have two questions, firstly, unless the clamps are *really* tight how the hell do you keep them attached when you're pushed and moving against the bed?
Next, I stuggle to comprehend the hood....... I think I'm comfortable with a gag but for some reason I don't feel comfortable with hoods. What is it that appeals, the loss of vision? Or, possibly, the control your partner may have over your breathing or air passages?
Maybe it's the last point concerning breathing that makes me uncomfortable.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
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Clamps do come off, Coggie, when one is thrashing wildly against the bed unless, as you've so correctly pointed out, the clamps are really (cruelly, to my mind) tight. Most often, if they're THAT tight, it's only for a very finite bit of time and much of the focus of both people is on that sensation alone. More often, however, the clamps come off during the rubbing (ouch!!!) -or- one quickly learns to raise her upper body off the bed enough (if one has the leeway) to lessen the pressure on the clamps so they don't drag enough to actually pull them off.
For me, as a sub, a hood has never ever been a thing i can play with casually. It's something i'm only comfortable including in play when i'm with someone i trust utterly and have a good, long, solid relationship with. I've actually only worn a full head hood for one person in my life, despite having had earlier opportunities.
Trust, yeh, is the big deal-killer for me with a hood.
Here's how it is:
A very soft, heavily scented, extremely close-fitting hood of leather is slipped over my head. It slides down to hug against my neck, front, back, and sides. The blindfold is snapped into place via snaps riveted into place at my temples. The penis gag is put through the small mouth hole and slips into my mouth, then snaps into place via more snaps under my ears. Hands pull the hood tighter and begin lacing me into it from the top of my head, slowly, slowly, pulling it ever tighter on my face, around my head, the lacing moving down the back of my head and ending at the nape of neck. Two small holes reside below my nostrils; beyond those, my primary means of information about and communication with the world has been removed from me.
I cannot see.
I cannot hear anything of value.
I cannot speak or make any intelligible sounds. (So much for safewords; gotta have some kinda hand signals worked out for cases like this, boys and girls, like the ubiquitous middle finger salute, and you gotta trust [there's that word again!] your Dom/me will see and respond to your hand signal as soon as you flash it.)
I can anticipate.
I can react.
If my hands and ankles are bound, i cannot move... cannot escape... cannot remove the hood or call 911 or effect, in any way that is meaningful, a change in my immediate condition.
Without immense trust, putting oneself into a position of complete vulnerability is foolish at best and can be extraordinarily dangerous.
With that trust, the touching that follows being placed in a position of such vulnerability could be among the most emotionally satisfying the two of you could have, and would likely produce yet another layer of strength and fineness on the links that bind you to each other.
(BTW, the gag doesn't have to go in... nor does the blindfold have to go on... at least not with the hood i have. Bondage, too, doesn't have to be a part of a hooded scene. If you want a link to the place i bought my hood [and buy most of my toys], and it's the best hood i've ever encountered and *not* that expensive, relatively speaking, i'd be glad to pass it along.)
For me, as a sub, a hood has never ever been a thing i can play with casually. It's something i'm only comfortable including in play when i'm with someone i trust utterly and have a good, long, solid relationship with. I've actually only worn a full head hood for one person in my life, despite having had earlier opportunities.
Trust, yeh, is the big deal-killer for me with a hood.
Here's how it is:
A very soft, heavily scented, extremely close-fitting hood of leather is slipped over my head. It slides down to hug against my neck, front, back, and sides. The blindfold is snapped into place via snaps riveted into place at my temples. The penis gag is put through the small mouth hole and slips into my mouth, then snaps into place via more snaps under my ears. Hands pull the hood tighter and begin lacing me into it from the top of my head, slowly, slowly, pulling it ever tighter on my face, around my head, the lacing moving down the back of my head and ending at the nape of neck. Two small holes reside below my nostrils; beyond those, my primary means of information about and communication with the world has been removed from me.
I cannot see.
I cannot hear anything of value.
I cannot speak or make any intelligible sounds. (So much for safewords; gotta have some kinda hand signals worked out for cases like this, boys and girls, like the ubiquitous middle finger salute, and you gotta trust [there's that word again!] your Dom/me will see and respond to your hand signal as soon as you flash it.)
I can anticipate.
I can react.
If my hands and ankles are bound, i cannot move... cannot escape... cannot remove the hood or call 911 or effect, in any way that is meaningful, a change in my immediate condition.
Without immense trust, putting oneself into a position of complete vulnerability is foolish at best and can be extraordinarily dangerous.
With that trust, the touching that follows being placed in a position of such vulnerability could be among the most emotionally satisfying the two of you could have, and would likely produce yet another layer of strength and fineness on the links that bind you to each other.
(BTW, the gag doesn't have to go in... nor does the blindfold have to go on... at least not with the hood i have. Bondage, too, doesn't have to be a part of a hooded scene. If you want a link to the place i bought my hood [and buy most of my toys], and it's the best hood i've ever encountered and *not* that expensive, relatively speaking, i'd be glad to pass it along.)
cym
Many thanks, as always, you've explained the mechanics clearly with good sense. Did I mention you're sooooooooo cool?
I see the bondage and nipple clamps as the more common aspects of the above and I'm very comfortable (excuse pun) with those. However, even within the confines of a strong and trustworthy relationship, playing with a hood worries me on two levels.
Firstly, I'm not confident of my judgement of how far to go, sadly an inbuilt male instinct is to push. Perhaps it steams from an ages old need to mate but far too often we don't easily take no for an answer. The common joke: "Ouch that hurts, you mustn't, here let me help you" sums up the confusion I think. Men often continue to peruse a course after an initial "no" and women are not always that clear. I realise there must be trust and precise signals, as you state, but I would be so concerned that I could miss them altogether or miss-understand.
I'm sure my concern as someone not as experienced as you is healthy, I'm just thinking out loud really, I guess it's a case of only moving at a pace that both parties are comfortable with.
Second concern, this one's a little more concerning maybe: Assuming this sexual play is undertaken within a healthy relationship do you believe (not you personally, but is it possible would you say) that the participants can become dependant on this? Where this is not a way of life my point is that there could be a danger of one partner finding satisfaction less likely, if not impossible, without the more intense forms of love making?
I believe I am asking if there is a danger an expression of love through an everyday position will no longer be satisfying.
I suppose, there are different ways on different days, each with different need fulfilment........ damn, did I just state the bloody obvious and answer my own question?
Anyway, your views would be welcome.
Many thanks, as always, you've explained the mechanics clearly with good sense. Did I mention you're sooooooooo cool?
I see the bondage and nipple clamps as the more common aspects of the above and I'm very comfortable (excuse pun) with those. However, even within the confines of a strong and trustworthy relationship, playing with a hood worries me on two levels.
Firstly, I'm not confident of my judgement of how far to go, sadly an inbuilt male instinct is to push. Perhaps it steams from an ages old need to mate but far too often we don't easily take no for an answer. The common joke: "Ouch that hurts, you mustn't, here let me help you" sums up the confusion I think. Men often continue to peruse a course after an initial "no" and women are not always that clear. I realise there must be trust and precise signals, as you state, but I would be so concerned that I could miss them altogether or miss-understand.
I'm sure my concern as someone not as experienced as you is healthy, I'm just thinking out loud really, I guess it's a case of only moving at a pace that both parties are comfortable with.
Second concern, this one's a little more concerning maybe: Assuming this sexual play is undertaken within a healthy relationship do you believe (not you personally, but is it possible would you say) that the participants can become dependant on this? Where this is not a way of life my point is that there could be a danger of one partner finding satisfaction less likely, if not impossible, without the more intense forms of love making?
I believe I am asking if there is a danger an expression of love through an everyday position will no longer be satisfying.
I suppose, there are different ways on different days, each with different need fulfilment........ damn, did I just state the bloody obvious and answer my own question?
Anyway, your views would be welcome.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
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- Posts
- 8,786
Re: cym
(1) understanding one’s own compulsions, desires, and needs, those inner psychological workings that drive our the sexuality that’s so highly individualistic in us all
(2) practicing the skill of pushing another human being into places s/he may be a little afraid of but which you, as Dom, want them to go - and doing that while remaining firmly in control of your sexuality and your perspective on the pushing and, most importantly, your partner’s level of fear, discomfort, arousal, need, want, desire, etc.
(The following is not aimed at you, specifically, since I believe you’re far evolved past the need for such cautionary asides as I’m about to offer. The following is designed for that mythical reader, that person who may see this outside of you and me, who might not have the level of knowledge and sensitivity to this subject that you do. Just so you know.)
Not taking “no” for an answer is the stuff of rape. Period. No means no. Always.
However, during the time one is in the beginning stages of dating and romancing a somewhat unknown partner, wildly kinky sex play (like hoods) isn’t likely to come up in casual conversation as an option for the evening’s entertainment, is it? In the beginning of every human relationship, even among those of us engaging in the initial dance with some who is an experienced BDSM’er, and knows we are too, is a time of talking and growing closer. It’s a time for the beginning tendrils of trust to slowly push into the warming space between two people. It’s not a time for grasping and rough pushing and the demanding of fragile trust.
In those exciting beginning stages of a sexual relationship, one may well be confused as to what the other person really wants because we just don’t know that other person well enough to judge. And sadly, unfortunately, often tragically, in our world today, sometimes a person will say “no” and hope with all their heart the other person hears “yes”. Often the aggressor hears “no””yes””no””oh god more””no stop” and doesn’t know what to do except push harder… more more more … acceding to the demands of his body.
Within the BDSM world, across the board without regard to kink, color, creed, gender, sexual persuasion, or any other quantifiers, we adhere to the following creed: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If the play is not all three, it is something besides BDSM.
One only gets better at this, like everything else in life, by doing it. You can read endlessly, you can talk online endlessly, but until you get out there and do it, push your limits, push someone else’s limits, learn how you work, how you respond, what you need and like and don’t want ever ever again, then it’s just all so much whack off fodder, right?
Like all lovemaking, and BDSM play can certainly be as much that as any other touching-between-people, this kind of thing is best when done between people who trust and love each other.
I’m a masochistic submissive; always have been. That intensity you described, the intensity, which you wondered about one partner becoming dependant upon, that’s the kind of thing I crave in a good relationship. However, importantly, it’s just a part of what I need, and just a part of what I have to give. Cuddling, talking softly, slow easy gentle tender lovemaking is also a part of what I need and want and must have… as it is, as it must be, for almost every human in the world.
There will always be those at the edges of the extreme, in both directions. However, I don’t think either you or I will become entangled with such a person, hmm? We couldn’t give them what they wanted, a thing we’d find out early enough, and so we’d simply drift away from each other.
I suppose it’s possible that you could have a satisfactory relationship with someone, introduce wildly intense BDSM play, and have them become so enmeshed in the new world of heightened sensitivity that they were suddenly uninterested in “normal” lovemaking. I don’t think it would last long, that lost-in-kinky-sex phase, though, because the vast majority of us need the tender side of a love relationship to continue to breathe, to continue to think, and to continue to be whole and fully-functioning human beings.
Some days you feel like a nut.
Some days you don’t.
(That’s from a TV commercial here in the states, Coggie, advertising a candy bar that comes two ways, with and without nuts. It points out pretty succinctly, I think, we all want the candy, we just want it differently on different days.)
Whew! Long-winded and boring enough for you?
Coggie, I’m not Domme, not a switch, and don’t pretend to understand why or how those people are the way they are. The headspace of the person on the other end of the paddle is very different from mine. However, from my rather limited perspective, I have to say that I think “judgment of how far to go” is a learned skill. It stems from, I think:Coggie said:
(1) understanding one’s own compulsions, desires, and needs, those inner psychological workings that drive our the sexuality that’s so highly individualistic in us all
(2) practicing the skill of pushing another human being into places s/he may be a little afraid of but which you, as Dom, want them to go - and doing that while remaining firmly in control of your sexuality and your perspective on the pushing and, most importantly, your partner’s level of fear, discomfort, arousal, need, want, desire, etc.
(The following is not aimed at you, specifically, since I believe you’re far evolved past the need for such cautionary asides as I’m about to offer. The following is designed for that mythical reader, that person who may see this outside of you and me, who might not have the level of knowledge and sensitivity to this subject that you do. Just so you know.)
Not taking “no” for an answer is the stuff of rape. Period. No means no. Always.
However, during the time one is in the beginning stages of dating and romancing a somewhat unknown partner, wildly kinky sex play (like hoods) isn’t likely to come up in casual conversation as an option for the evening’s entertainment, is it? In the beginning of every human relationship, even among those of us engaging in the initial dance with some who is an experienced BDSM’er, and knows we are too, is a time of talking and growing closer. It’s a time for the beginning tendrils of trust to slowly push into the warming space between two people. It’s not a time for grasping and rough pushing and the demanding of fragile trust.
In those exciting beginning stages of a sexual relationship, one may well be confused as to what the other person really wants because we just don’t know that other person well enough to judge. And sadly, unfortunately, often tragically, in our world today, sometimes a person will say “no” and hope with all their heart the other person hears “yes”. Often the aggressor hears “no””yes””no””oh god more””no stop” and doesn’t know what to do except push harder… more more more … acceding to the demands of his body.
Within the BDSM world, across the board without regard to kink, color, creed, gender, sexual persuasion, or any other quantifiers, we adhere to the following creed: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If the play is not all three, it is something besides BDSM.
One only gets better at this, like everything else in life, by doing it. You can read endlessly, you can talk online endlessly, but until you get out there and do it, push your limits, push someone else’s limits, learn how you work, how you respond, what you need and like and don’t want ever ever again, then it’s just all so much whack off fodder, right?
Like all lovemaking, and BDSM play can certainly be as much that as any other touching-between-people, this kind of thing is best when done between people who trust and love each other.
Some people definitely crave more intense stimulation that others. However, like ALL good love relationships, sometimes one craves a whole gluttonous feast (with regard to lovemaking) and sometimes one wants only an appetizer. In every single good strong healthy BDSM relationship I’ve been a part of, in every one I’ve seen from the outside, smiling at the strength of the contented love flowing between those within, “normal” lovemaking has definitely been a part of the palette of sexual activities from which we could choose.
I’m a masochistic submissive; always have been. That intensity you described, the intensity, which you wondered about one partner becoming dependant upon, that’s the kind of thing I crave in a good relationship. However, importantly, it’s just a part of what I need, and just a part of what I have to give. Cuddling, talking softly, slow easy gentle tender lovemaking is also a part of what I need and want and must have… as it is, as it must be, for almost every human in the world.
There will always be those at the edges of the extreme, in both directions. However, I don’t think either you or I will become entangled with such a person, hmm? We couldn’t give them what they wanted, a thing we’d find out early enough, and so we’d simply drift away from each other.
I suppose it’s possible that you could have a satisfactory relationship with someone, introduce wildly intense BDSM play, and have them become so enmeshed in the new world of heightened sensitivity that they were suddenly uninterested in “normal” lovemaking. I don’t think it would last long, that lost-in-kinky-sex phase, though, because the vast majority of us need the tender side of a love relationship to continue to breathe, to continue to think, and to continue to be whole and fully-functioning human beings.
Some days you feel like a nut.
Some days you don’t.
(That’s from a TV commercial here in the states, Coggie, advertising a candy bar that comes two ways, with and without nuts. It points out pretty succinctly, I think, we all want the candy, we just want it differently on different days.)
Whew! Long-winded and boring enough for you?
cymbidia said:
cym,
I have to say although i greatly approve of and am familiar with you lifestyle this is a wonderful description of doggie style. I reckon I never had a doggie quite like this one in fact.
Quietly applauding the sunning visualism.
Toyman
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
Thank you! Thank you! ~laughing, blushing, bowing~
Now, just click on the little blue www at the bottom of my post to get to my stories where there's more of the same to be had, Toyman. And don't forget to vote, please. AND i respond to all feedback comments, always.
~blushing wildly and totally astonished at such bald self-promotion, knowing that i only dare it cuz it's here, in this slightly-visited Forum... and so i know that almost no one will see my exhibition of crude pushiness~
Now, just click on the little blue www at the bottom of my post to get to my stories where there's more of the same to be had, Toyman. And don't forget to vote, please. AND i respond to all feedback comments, always.
~blushing wildly and totally astonished at such bald self-promotion, knowing that i only dare it cuz it's here, in this slightly-visited Forum... and so i know that almost no one will see my exhibition of crude pushiness~
Re: Re: cym
I'm almost speechless.
Firstly, the guys in serious relationships with you in your life are fortunate indeed
Secondly, I know you teach but, your style and compassion while dealing with what some would see as extreme issues is exceptional. You should be writing a column somewhere, trust me, converts would be flooding to the BDSM cause.
Thank you very much indeed, it differs little from my perception but serves to fortify my mind and my role. You have an immense aptitude for this.
Finally, back to your image description.... what Toyman said, only more so
cymbidia said:
I'm almost speechless.
Firstly, the guys in serious relationships with you in your life are fortunate indeed
Secondly, I know you teach but, your style and compassion while dealing with what some would see as extreme issues is exceptional. You should be writing a column somewhere, trust me, converts would be flooding to the BDSM cause.
Thank you very much indeed, it differs little from my perception but serves to fortify my mind and my role. You have an immense aptitude for this.
Finally, back to your image description.... what Toyman said, only more so
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doctor_insanus
Splendid Isolation
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2001
- Posts
- 10,904
Turns up the air conditioning
Cymbidia, I'm coming to respect you more and more all the time! Just let me add my praises to those that have already been sung for you!
Wow...
Cymbidia, I'm coming to respect you more and more all the time! Just let me add my praises to those that have already been sung for you!
Wow...
G
Guest
Guest
Turns up the air conditioning
Cymbidia, I'm coming to respect you more and more all the time! Just let me add my praises to those that have already been sung for you!
Wow...
Cymbidia, I'm coming to respect you more and more all the time! Just let me add my praises to those that have already been sung for you!
Wow...
doctor_insanus
Splendid Isolation
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2001
- Posts
- 10,904
Damn my slow connection! Disregard that last post... I know you already have!
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
I've gotten several requests from people who wondered how i got into bdsm. I suppose i'll answer that here since (as i always told my students) if i get one question about something, it usually means there's a whole bunch who are wondering but don't dare ask for some reason. (Am i scary????)
I began my lifelong interest in bdsm sexuality when i was a teenager, at the beginning of my very first sexual relationship.
I was naturally sexually submissive, something he must have recognized from the start. He was 7 years older than me and already very definitely Dom.
He knew how and what to show me, how to bring me along gently, not scare me, but introduce me to my own sexual nature in a loving and firm manner. I was with him for more than three years; at the end of that time, i was very aware of my own proclivities, propensities, and desires.
I've continued to grow into a fuller understanding of myself as a sexual person since that wonderful beginning he gave me.
I began my lifelong interest in bdsm sexuality when i was a teenager, at the beginning of my very first sexual relationship.
I was naturally sexually submissive, something he must have recognized from the start. He was 7 years older than me and already very definitely Dom.
He knew how and what to show me, how to bring me along gently, not scare me, but introduce me to my own sexual nature in a loving and firm manner. I was with him for more than three years; at the end of that time, i was very aware of my own proclivities, propensities, and desires.
I've continued to grow into a fuller understanding of myself as a sexual person since that wonderful beginning he gave me.
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