Pornography has lied to me!

[ManlyUsername]

I went to dinner at a nice pizza restaurant tonight. When I went to the restroom, there was a very pretty young lady in there cleaning. And She Just Left!
She didn't even TRY to have sex with me.

I'm beginning to wonder if all those porn scenarios were really realistic.

 

[UtilityCurve]

+1, my good man, +1.

 

[TheLittleSister88]

I hear you. Every time I get pulled over by the cops they just give me tickets. Not once has it turned into sexy time.

 

[ManlyUsername]

Better double check you have money for a tip next time you order pizza too

 

[BrokenBarbie]

It turns out that most tradesmen aren’t willing to waive that $120 service call fee for a little head.

Another porn lie…

 

[ManlyUsername]

I hear you. Every time I get pulled over by the cops they just give me tickets. Not once has it turned into sexy time.

Well, to be fair, 65 in a school zone is a bit excessive.

 

[ManlyUsername]

It turns out that most tradesmen aren’t willing to waive that $120 service call fee for a little head.

Another porn lie…

The lies just keep piling up!

(Also, I love your username)

 

[With_David_Bowie]

I have never ordered pizza.

To be fair, porn always shows girls ordering the pizza guy, maybe I have got it wrong

 

[ManlyUsername]

I have never ordered pizza.

To be fair, porn always shows girls ordering the pizza guy, maybe I have got it wrong

Did you try ordering "extra sausage"?
That seems important.

 

[Sundayschild]

I think you guys are just being unlucky. Happens to me all the time...

 

[MadeleineSinha]

My shower broke, it took days to get a plumber round to fix it.

 

[Cognantreverie]

I order pizza often and have YET to be offered extra sausage!

 

[leftie]

I've tutored a University course for several years now. Not once has an attractive student sought to improve their grade through sexual favours...

 

[Sundayschild]

I've tutored a University course for several years now. Not once has an attractive student sought to improve their grade through sexual favours...

So how many times...?

 

[Xyhorn]

I have been having sex with women for years. Not once have they orgasmed! Damn these porn lies

 

[DanDraper]

It's unbelievable. Porn made me believe if I get caught jerking off while spying on a woman in the shower she'd invite me to join her. Instead I get get arrested and she gets a restraining order against me.




.....

 

[water_moutina]

It's unbelievable. Porn made me believe if I get caught jerking off while spying on a woman in the shower she'd invite me to join her. Instead I get get arrested and she gets a restraining order against me.




.....

You didn't read the instructions properly. It's important that both you and she watches porn. So show her the porn, THEN jerk while spying. Let me know it goes this time

 

[kathyisgr65]

I went to dinner at a nice pizza restaurant tonight. When I went to the restroom, there was a very pretty young lady in there cleaning. And She Just Left!
She didn't even TRY to have sex with me.

I'm beginning to wonder if all those porn scenarios were really realistic.

Wtf...u mean when the pool boys comes to clean the pool he isn't really there to fuck. Ummm. This is awkward

 

[Btq97]

Porn lied to me too. Offering to blow the officer won't get me out of the speeding ticket. Crying does work, sometimes, though.

I find crying does not work even with lady officers.

 

[shewantsmore]

Please dont say that,porn has been my friend, friends never lie

 

[stickygirl]

I got expelled from school after my head teacher didn't want head. Porn let me down

 

[Greyarea2234]

My step daughter keeps doing laundry twice a week but she hasn’t gotten stuck once…
It’s bullshit….

 

[SkyeBlossom]

I went to dinner at a nice pizza restaurant tonight. When I went to the restroom, there was a very pretty young lady in there cleaning. And She Just Left!
She didn't even TRY to have sex with me.

I'm beginning to wonder if all those porn scenarios were really realistic.

Getting pulled over by the cops has never gone as well as they show in porn and now I have an unreasonable fear about getting stuck in the dryer when taking my clothes out.

 

[Bisexguy70]

I showed to up to add an electrical outlet in the kitchen of a hot couple house. After i was finished, the couple simply offered me cash for payment. They didnt pull me in the bedroom and get me naked. Nor did she demand i suck her pussy juice off his cock after forcing me to watch them have sex. Or split roast me using her strap on. Porn REALLY LIED TO ME!!!

 

[Greyarea2234]

Getting pulled over by the cops has never gone as well as they show in porn and now I have an unreasonable fear about getting stuck in the dryer when taking my clothes out.

It happens!!! I’ve seen it several times…