porno TV theme songs for fun and profit

[Problem Child]

The Jeffersons

Well, George is hoistin' on up,
Weezie's fat ass
To their big ol' kingsize bed on high.
Yeah, he's lubin' her up
and spreadin' her thighs
He finally got a piece of the pie.

Weezie soon starts a-moanin';
and they start a-humpin' like freaks.
Took a whole lotta tryin'
Just to get between those cheeks.
Now Georgie is feeling like shootin'
and he got his rhythm down pat
As long as he ain't gotta look at her face
There ain't nothin wrong with that.

Now he's spanking her ass,
and Wezzie passes gas
georgie pulls out his pecker
and lets his payload sail
Weezie rolls right over
and spreads out like a whale.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Now Here's a Story
'Bout a man named Dahmer
He's eating up three boys of his own
He's a loner, he's a stoner
but throw him a bone

Here's a Story
'Bout a County Sheriff
He's been getting some very strange calls
about weird smells
and who can tell
What that's all about?

Until one day when Dahmer met the Sheriff
And discovered some very gruesome things
there were body parts in the freezer
from all kinds of human beings

The Dahmer stash
The Dahmer stash
That's how the sheriff found the Dahmer stash

 

[Problem Child]

Aw, that's just sick. heh.

 

[TN_Vixen]

how witty.

I think mine topped yours. Think you can do better? c'mon Cletus.. c'mon

 

[modest mouse]

Joel went to the moose
maggie was loose
She liked big cock
Joel's receptionist watched the clock

Ruth-Ann was frigid
Maurice is insipid
Ed was a film nut
The DJ in a rut

Jesse the bear is obscure
The ER doc, unable to provure
a job on exposure for a season
who knows the reason?

*************************

Cut me some slack for various reasons, of which the two people in this thread will know of well.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Modesto

NO SLACK FOR YOU! heh

Tell us the sitcom music we should be humming this little ditty to please?

 

[Problem Child]

Northern Exposure baby.

 

[modest mouse]

PC knows!

I was one of the few who watched it when originally on. Thank teh vengeful lord for A&E syndication.

 

[TN_Vixen]

ok fuck all y'all

I realized it had a Northern Exposure theme to it, but couldn't place the jingle.

Sorry Mouse for being so lame... heh... I should never doubt you, but I'm still in the larva stage. ;-)

 

[modest mouse]

I can see the moose wandering around like he has had one too many tequila shots but the hell if I know the name of the theme song.

...and I knew you were lame, no big surprise, its cool.

 

[TN_Vixen]

The Beverly Hillbillies

Come and listen to a story about a site called Lit
Once a place where barely nobody met
Then one day all hell broke loose
And from the WWW the freaks set loose

Porn, that is, raw sex, pure smut

Well, the first thing you know ole Laurel’s sit was swarmed
The regulars on board said, “What’s going on here, girl?”
Said, “Literotica is the place for only us”
But elitism was immediately kicked in the butt

Bottom, that is, Anal style, Hardcore Sex

Well, now it’s time to say goodby to simple posts
And the webmasters thank you for bragging on their host
You’ll all come back to this eventually
Because Literotica’s simply addicting

Jonesin, that is, read a while, take your pants off

Y’all come back now, y’hear?

 

[TN_Vixen]

To "Cheers"

Making your way browsing porn today
takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break to wank your worries
Costs an awful lot
Wouldn’t you like to get it free?

Sometimes you want to find

A porn site that’s truly free
Where no one cares about money?
Where everybody knows
A click won’t roll the dough
You want to be
Where no one cares about money.

You wanna go where people know
porn access is free
You wanna go
Where no one care about your money

Making your way on the Net today
Takes every dime you’ve got
Taking a break to wank your worries
Sure does cost a lot

Wouldn’t you like to find free porn?

All those nights when you have no pussy
And whore’s absorb your thoughts
And your cock is sore
Because you’ve jacked an awful lot
And your credit’s maxed to the load…

Wouldn’t you like to go…

 

[Starfish]

I don't think that you need to change the lyrics to Different Strokes too much to get a porn effect but I'll try.


Well the world don't move to the beating off of just one cock
What might be right for Squiggy, might not be right for The Rock.

A man is born, he's a man of means
then along come more that don't know what to do with what's in their jeans
Cause it takes... different strokes, it takes.... different strokes, it takes..... different strokes to shoot your cum.

Everybody's got a special kind of sex organ
Everybody's got a way to play with it
No matter whatcha got, not a lot, so what?
You wack yours, and they'll wack thiers and I'll wack mine,

AND TOGETHER WE'LL BE FINE....

Cause it takes different strokes to shoot your cum.

Ooooooo

 

[TN_Vixen]

Fishy!!!!

*clapping*

That's fantastic! hehehe

 

[Starfish]

Thanks baby, I am loving yours... I am not sure about the Dhamer one, but the others are fantastic.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Oh c'mon

the Dahmer one was kinda sick, but it flowed so well...



c'mon work with me, give me another

 

[Starfish]

I am blanking out on any shows..


Facts of life....

Ya take the good, you take the bad, you take whatever you can get your dirty hands on, cause you're a desperate fuck.... a desperate fuck.

There are times when you can't get a girl, so you go for the dog and give it a whirl, cause you're a desperate fuck.... a desperate fuck.

When the world never seems
To be livin up to your dreams
Then suddenly your finding out that fleas bite balls and make you itch like hell.... Ooo oooo a ohhhh ooo.

 

[heterotic]

Dr. Strangelove is da bomb, problemchild.

 

[GuyJD]

Elly's drawers are falling down,
Falling down, falling down.
Elly's drawers are falling down,
And she don't look shabby.

LOL.........Just a bit of an elementary attempt because it's late and I have to be back at work in 5 hours.

 

[Lost Cause]

I was stationed in the military in NE Canada (Labrador). A tradition of the aircrews was a new rotating crew had to bring up a fresh porno movie. Every Saturday night in the crew billets was "movie" night. We would watch the movies with no sound, and ad lib the dialogue and music. The two musical themes I remember was during the fuck scenes was, humming the Air Force theme (Wild Blue Yonder), and the Capt. Kirk fight music on Star Trek (Dah Dah Dah Dah Dah Dah Dah Dah Dah Duh Duh Duh etc..).
I think the song from "Three's Company" would be okay too.

 

[Barb Dwyer]

The Addams Family morphed into

The Lit Board Family

They're horny and they're brazen
Their pussies are amazin'
Their cocks are always raisin'
The Lit Board Family

They flirt amongst each other
Have sex with dad and mother
There really is no other
The Lit Board family

*snapping fingers*

Dicks
Pricks
Pussy licks!

So get a full fledged hard-on
An ass to bounce a card on
We're gonna pay a call on
The Lit Board Family

 

[Desdemona]

ROTFL!!

 

[Wiggles]

LoL I love that, The Lit Board Family!

Good Job Barb!

 

[Barb Dwyer]

LOL- Don't encourage me- I have more!


Gilligan's Isle AKA Literotica Isle

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of erotica
That started here on the General Board
With folks with neurotica.

The Mistress was a lovely girl
A girl with a lot of drive
Petite and sweet and that's no mean feat
And she makes this website thrive (she makes this website thrive)

The webmaster - a mystery man
A techie through and through
He fixes things and shyly brings
Our fantasies come true

The weather started getting rough
The Lit Board lost its way
Fights broke out and flirting too
Well, it happens every day

So join us here each day my friends
You're sure to get aroused
From stories, poems and posts and threads
All found in Literotica's aisles.

 

[Desert Amazon]