Pool Party Comments

[TabooTeller]

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=105368



I just read “Pool Party “ by whiskybuff and I have a few comments.
First the good comments. The sex was great, the sunscreen on the but and the fingering were very erotic, a big turn on. The same with the oral sex. Good, well written set up. If the rest of his stories are this well done, esp. the sex scenes I want to read more.
Now the criticisms. It ended rather abruptly. Of course I am sure it was supposed to, but I want to know if he did or not. Ordinarily I would say he would not, but as turned on a he was and since he didn’t want his wife to find out he knew maybe he did.
Going along with that I wonder if there will be a part two or another adventure about them. I thought about checking the writer’s list of stories to see if he already had some about them but they are quite a few stories and I don’t have the time right now to check.
Further criticisms. Some may say about the following that I am getting to analytical for these type of stories, after all they are sexual fantasies. I have been learning to be more critical of the stories I read and these are stories, well written, at least to me, stories that continue sex. So I automatically review them as I normally review stories. I found some inconsistencies. First the husband getting so upset over his wife infidelities. At first it seemed to be because she was cheating on him, but all of a sudden we learn its because she wasn’t following the rules. I can’t see him getting that upset over her breaking the rules, after all she allowed to cheat. By the way this is one reason I think he has written previous adventures about these two. I will find out, if he has, some day.
Comments about her. I knew she was a slut by the way she got dreamy eyed about her vacation alone as did her husband of course. I wonder if she cares for her husband at all. I am a helpless romantic and therefore I feel marriages, even pretend ones in stories, should be saved. Such as the marriage in “How Not To Save a Marriage” by -----. However Cathy is, as the saying goes, a Class A bitch. I mean she breaks the rules when there is no need to. Of course she may be one of those who just have to break rules, even if she was told she could have sex with anyone at anytime, anywhere, she just had to keep one foot on the ground, floor etc. She would make sure she lifts both feet. And of course what she wanted to do to her husband afterwards. Unless there is something about their relationship we don’t know yet or was revealed in another story, he would better off without her.
I also wonder if she lied to her husband about not liking his boss or if she really didn’t like him but wanted his big cock anyway. I also wonder with how she seems to like to humiliate her husband, even when he doesn’t know it, if she knew her fingering had an audience and that was why she clung to him while they walked around the house.
I was a little disappointed about one thing. I figured that since they could cheat under the riles if her friends might have distracted him with sex a time or two. Obviously not. And is she the only one cheating. He just made that rule so he could keep her and at least know when she was doing something. One more thing, the description didn’t fit since obviously he did care.
And I will be sending these comments to him

TabooTeller

 

[TabooTeller]

Commenting on my own post here but I have a PS and an apology. I wasn't able to get the name of the writer of "How Not To safe A Marrige" since the Search feature was temp. down last night, not that any one seems to care yet.



After thinking about this story for a few hours I came to two more conclusions. The first is that if most or all of whiskbuff’s stories concern cuckold husbands I may not read each one after all after all. I am an easy going guy and I don’t like it when easy going guys are taken advantage of esp. by their wives, even in stories. Yes, I know such things happen but that is not why I read sexual fantasies. But then again it also depends on the setting, how well the story is told and the mood I am in. There is one story I read on Liteerotica that was good up intill one short scene about three fourths of the way through the story. That short scene totally disrupted my enjoyment of the rest of the story. This story is not like that. I don’t really like how the husband is treated by his wife but it wasn’t enough to keep me from reading the story and enjoying most of it.
Anyway the second conclusion has to do with something I said in my first note. Basically I said this marriage probably should end even though I hate it when that happens even in stories. Well my mind, without me asking it to, came up with two solutions. I want to say that I don’t expect the writer to use either suggestion, I got the feeling he wants them to stay as they are for a while if he writes any more about them at all but this does show that even with a class A bitch things could change for the better, in a story at least.
This first suggestion is my favorite since I am a romantic, but the way Whiskybuff set things up the second one would fit better. And the first one would depend on certain things, like why she married him to begin with. Not knowing the writer I don’t what he had in mind or even if he had anything in mind. He could have decided the husband needed a bitch wife, so he gave him one without developing a back ground. Anyway I figure she did marry him for a reason. Maybe she was in love with him at that time, or she was always a bitch and married him because her ego liked someone being in love with her, and/or here was someone to humiliate and fool. But I also figure there would be something he does she likes. Maybe he’s a good cook, gives good shoulder rubs, always remembers her birthday while her men usually don’t even know she has a birthday. Then again she may not care that he remembers her birthday.
So one day he had enough and leaves. Just packs some clothes, his music CDs, a laptop, if he has one, and is gone after she comes home. At first she thinks they were robbed since some stuff is missing. But she calls his name and no response. She gets angery and tries again. Finally she goes up to their bedroom. His drawers are open and his stuff is gone, the closet is open and some stuff is missing. One outfit she bought for him is hanging by itself by one end.
She thinks he will be back when he misses her, but now she has freedom to bring her men to the house for all night sex. A month later he is still gone and no word. Now she is wondering, and remembering the good things he used to do for her. Two more weeks and now she is getting worried, and the sex sessions are not quite so much fun without him waiting for her at home. Finally some how she finds him and he has a girlfriend. Not for sex even though they probably are having sex, but they are falling for each other.
Now she has two choices, actually she has three. The third one is to make trouble for them, for the same reason she liked to humiliates him just because she’s a bitch. The second choice is to just leave and let them be, she’s got all the sex she wants and a house. I don’t know if she has a job so that might fit into her decision but he has found someone to love and that can love back.
Third choice is to remember why she married him in the first place, if a good reason and try to fight for him. This time she will keep the rules and stop humiliating him.
Second option I thought up is shorter, He finally gets angry enough to do something. I am not sure what. No slapping her around but maybe doing some shouting then developing a command voice to use on her. One thought I had was that he spanks her. Hard and long. Or he ties her up and gags her to make her listen, and uses the command voice. She had lost respect for him, if she ever had any, but this new husband catches her attention. He gives her an ultimatum. She has one week to change, no more humiliating him, no more breaking the rules etc. If she does once he will kick her out. It is his house and she did wrong so she leaves not him!

As I said the writer probably won’t use either but I will send a copy to him anyway to express my viewpoint.

TabooTeller

 

[TabooTeller]

Had another long thought here thought I would post it even if no one cares about commenting.


I seem to be the only that cares for this fictional character but another idea came to mind how her husband could deal with Kathy. It kinda goes along with my number two idea. Publicly humiliate her. Starting with a spanking. Maybe at the next party they attend. She says or does something to her husband, that he hears about later at the same time she does something sexual out in public. He hears of it then sees what she is doing and thats it. He had already sent the two friends out on a wild goose chase, now that he knows what is really happening he decides to have fun with them. Anyway he walks out of the house down to the pool and grabs Kathy, off of a guy maybe, and in one motion he sits down and pulls her over his knees. She is wearing that throng bikini again so he just starts spanking hard. No one comes to her rescue because they all she deserves it, in fact a couple cheer him on and say he should have done it a year ago. Or some such. One guy even tells him where to slab her butt cheeks. She turns her head toward that guy and through clenched teeth tells him to shut up.
When he can swing his hand no more he lays her down on her sore butt, rips off her bottom then fucks her hard and fast. By that time she either has tears flowing out her eyes or has a climax or both. When he is done he turns to someone else and asks if they want a turn. Maybe about the end of the second guy or half way through the third guy her body gets all turned on and she starts asking for it, even for one in her mouth. I don’t know if she has ever had a gang bang but seemly she would like it. Anyway she begs for the next guy but no one listens. Until she asks her husband and he chooses the next guy, which could be an old fat guy she doesn’t really like. She finds out that she is not in control but her husband is. After ten guys or so they are done. He asks for help and someone puts a towel around her middle, like a diaper, so she doesn’t leak in his car. I am not sure what happens after they get home. Either she hates his guts for the spanking, humiliation of having him in control etc., or she begins to respect him.