Pondering a couple story ideas.

[Devon_Reese]

I been rolling a couple story ideas around in my head for a while. The first one has to do with an secret government organization that was working on creating the perfect soldier, through different methods of training, certain chemicals, drugs and medicals, and different forms of mental manipulation. That being the main focus of the story I was then going to introduce my main character, a shy bookworm type girl by the name of Cassandra. What im having problems with is getting her involved in the project as one of the subjects, how and why and who.

She would be among other people they were testing and experimenting on, although I would think some people involved in the project might take a sexual interest in her, it wouldnt be the main focus of the story.

This is really my first attempt to write a story like this so im still working on it in my head before I write anything more solid down, any comments, questions or ideas welcome.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

Maybe Cassandra is there to do research at first or take notes on the progress of the project. However, an increased sex drive is a side effect of the increased hormones, testerone, whatever. What she doesn't know is that she's part of the experiment as well and they're monitoring her vital signs. They see that she's attracted to him (hey, even we bookish girls can get turned on by a sexy body) and they add something to her food. She keeps getting urges that she has a hard time controlling....and eventually gives in and jumps the soldier

 

[Devon_Reese]

Well im really not going for that type of thing here at all. Going for more mind control land bodily modification on Cassie and possibly other people. Thats the main erotic thing to me (or my own twisted idea of it.) I would rather her be directly involved as a subject of the project and eventually would be more of the soldier type person. Although I generally dont get into much real sex.

I do understand about the hormones and what effect it may have on her but I guess im trying to direct it in another way.

 

[Vincent E]

Perhaps Cassandra could have been a young ROTC graduate performing her post-graduation military obligation. She may have been stuck in a low level support job or one that didn't get her into much action outside of a military base.

Combining recent events (re: 9-11), perhaps she lost loved ones in the twin towers and wanted to take a more active role in the war on terrorism. She tests as a research subject as you have mentioned, and was chosen as a candidate. from there they put her through the battery of experiments you have mentioned to turn her into a super soldier.

There seems to be an awful lot of Captain America in your idea, and mine: puny young man turned into superhero by secret forumla. Or maybe I've just read too many comic books.

Do you wnat to put any sexual angle on this story, or will it be totally non-erotic? It seems to me that a woman with heightened pheromones could be lethal to men.

 

[Devon_Reese]

Hrm.. Well I was actually going for a more scary story also. I like the ROTC idea myself. Im thinking she could be working as a typist inside the base at the moment. The people running the base could be working on different chemicals and drugs to manipulate brain function and promote muscle growth and they are lacing certain peoples food with it, and using different kinds of sound waves to produce different results. I like the idea of sound waves... I believe it wouldnt be much like a normal comic, maybe a dark comic book if it was like one at all. I was thinking if she showed promise she might be confined to the labs in a quantinatine because of some staged accident. When she was held in the labs she would probably be able out of it from some of the drugs, but she coherent.. I think some of the project members might take advantage of her sexually but it wouldnt be the main focus of the story. Once she was in lab cell they would probably put her through different training methods too, the chemicals could be designed to make her abit more mallable as well as other things. I would enjoy it myself if she came out on top in the end though. Hrm.. well theres my rant for today.

 

[bearlee]

Sounds like you figured it out on your own-good luck!

 

[Devon_Reese]

Well almost.. im currently struggling to first out how to start the story and figure out how to write correct diaglog.. I was doing it in first person by view but I couldnt figure out how to get the diaglog out well.

 

[peterpan]

Sometimes when you can't figure out how to start the story it is because the start just seems dull to you compared to all the good bits towards the middle and the end

The bits that seem hard to write, sometimes you can just omit them. The reader will thank you.

Maybe you should start in the middle. She has already enrolled in whatever, or some months ago she was called in for a routine whatever, or whatever. If there are just a couple of 'start' bits you are in love with, they could appear as some sort of flashback and then it does not matter that they are a bit disjointed.

You could also start at the end (here I am, ms super soldier, but you would not beleive what a pathetic child I was only 7 months ago)

----

Outside that, perhaps you could give an exact description of where you are trying to get to, (the fun middle that you are comfortable with writing) and someone here can suggest a few paragraphs to get there. You can always replace it once you have a story.

phew. thats a lot of advice from someone that has only put to tales up here.

 

[Devon_Reese]

I believe I got a beginning now but still trying to figure out how to do diaglog in my head.. I reading other stories to see how they make the characters talk but I havent quite made it click yet.

What I got so far is this:

A young female ROTC recruit fresh out of high school is assigned to work a military research facility as low level clerk doing simple reports and such over the summer before she starts college. The base is doing research into different methods of military training, and require that each new member of the base go through a battery of tests designed to test their skills, intelligence, ability to work under stress, and other things as part of the research. Well Cassie passes all their tests with flying colors, and is picked to become a subject in the real research of the base. Of course she isnt told this. And 'accident' is planned and Cassie is called down to one of the high security labs secretly. And as she comes in she sees no one is in the lab, thinking this strange she moves further in when an alarm sounds. And she feels a prick in the back of her arm. Everything then goes black. She was reported to be "sneaking around high security and caused a fire in one of the labs that exposed her to harmful chemicals and fumes and was being kept for obversation." A few days later she was reported dead. In reality she was being held in the deepest lab under going the real experiments of the base.

Thats my basic premise, im still working on what the experiments actually do to her and what the training will involve but I think I got that part down..

 

[peterpan]

Sounds like fun

Myself, I would start writing where she wakes up. Perhaps she is strapped down to a bed in a darkened room, and no one comes when she calls. That would give you the oportunity to let her try to puzzle out why she is there. This 'puzzling' would be an internal monolog that could list all the fact the author wants the reader to know about Cassandra, in not much more space than it took you to outline them here.

It would take some pages to work your way through that outline in a sequential manner, and you would still have to do the waking up scene anyway.

So you have the second part sorted? I still say just write the second part then. The problems with the first part might just disappear, or at least you could show us the actual paragraphs that you want the first part to connect up with.

Can you tell us more about the second part, or would that spoil it?

 

[Devon_Reese]

Well really what I just wrote is all the solid idea I got.. I know what I want to happen in the second part but I dont know solidly what is going to happen.. So im really still pondering the 'meat' of the story now.

 

[peterpan]

Fair enough. So are you looking for training ideas?

What about triggering the pleasure centers of her brain to reward her for flexing muscles in a certain order in response to certain stimuli? (She is constrained in a machine that delivers small jolts (or tickles her with feathers, it doesnt matter) and measures her responces then delivers a reward) This could go on for hours and even as she sleeps.

She doesn't know that they are training her responces until they test her out in a combat situation (in the dark) and she finds herself reacting to attacks without concious thought. In fact, she is so conditioned, she can not control her automatic reactions.

Real training would be required as well for her skills to be effective, but the machine could condition her to be very fast.

 

[Devon_Reese]

Being that she is suppose to be an experiment I'd think they would test different experimental things on her. Like certain drugs in her food, designed to provoke different reactions, and effects in her body and mind. And their would certainly be a daily work out to get her body into peak condition. I was also thinking of a stress test, putting her in simulated conditions to see how she reacts and manipulationing them reactions over time. Im not sure if I want to do it in my normal 'horror story' way or in a lighter way or not. Generally my story ideas seem to turn out very dark and scary at least to me. Probably eventually get into heavy brainwashing and body manipulation. Might even make a few plot twists if I think they feel good at the time of writing it.. I got another idea rattling around in my head and it might be fun if I mesh to the two but it might seem abit too odd and alittle cheezy if I dont pull it off well.

 

[peterpan]

Fair enough.

I vote they just tickle her Anyway, sounds like you have plenty of ideas.

 

[Devon_Reese]

Ok.. well now I started the story.. about a third of the way into it.. and im stuck. Trying to figure out how to add some erotic elements without them seeming forced. So far it has been a interesting mind control sex.. at least to me. With abit of body modification.. One scene was rather scary I think, but right now im starting to run out of scene in this story thread and need to get into another one to continue it..

 

[peterpan]

Thats pretty common Stuck on one myself. Its all too abstract for us to offer any useful advice though, I suspect. (twiddles thumbs) what now?