Polygamy..kinky kinky

[Aliyahlovinsex]

Hey y'all I was just reading a book and had this thought...
We've all heard of polygamy for men...but what about for women? Would any of you men out there mind sharing your woman with other guys each night? I'm just thinkin of how fun that could be....and I've always wanted to sleep in a puppy pile

 

[dkforward]

Honestly, i would be hurt if that happened, as im sure she would be hurt if I was like that. Sex with my girl is more then just sex for sex's sake. even a quickie is still us making love. Its emotional, and physical. If she was just a fuck buddy then hell i coudl care less how many dicks she sucks every other night, as long as shes clean and disease free on my night id be happy

 

[Aliyahlovinsex]

:sigh: oh well there goes my great idea for the night....a girl can fantasize though

 

[Celtic Spirit]

Fun

I would love to share her and let her explore as long as she came home to me in the end!! My problem is that she would never agree She is much to vanilla but the thought is very very sexy

 

[barebacknubianf]

Hey y'all I was just reading a book and had this thought...
We've all heard of polygamy for men...but what about for women? Would any of you men out there mind sharing your woman with other guys each night? I'm just thinkin of how fun that could be....and I've always wanted to sleep in a puppy pile

Mmm.....what woman wouldn't want that?

 

[Leftwriter]

Polyandry

A wife with multiple husbands is a situation called polyandry. It exists, I know people who do it, and it works quite well thank you very much.

For most people, monogamy is unnatural. People who choose to have more than one lover and who decide that everyone involved should know one another and be either friends or lovers are simply being honest with themselves and their lovers about their nature.

Countless studies have shown that monogamy only works for some people. It is not an ideal that everyone should be shooting for, but rather it is just one classification of personality like being gay or straight or being interested in different races or exclusively your own race. Somebody can be straight without being homophobic. Somebody can be exclusively attracted to their own race without being racist. Somebody can want multiple spouses without being evil or perverted or whatever else people might think.

Cultural pressures being what they are, instead of people being honest about needing variety and a more expansive family network, most people decide to pursue outside relationships secretely. Then when they meet someone they love, because they are only allowed to love one person at a time, they assume they must leave their first spouse, even if there is nothing wrong with their first spouse. Hence, the current divorce rate.

On a more sexual note, straight men and women who live together are probably best served by having multiple men in the household (as long as the men have evolved beyond, "Me man, you mine"). Women are able to satisfy virtually any number of men and, indeed, often need more sex to feel fulfilled than men do. However, if the woman has leanings toward bisexuality, as many women do, then a multple female household is also good to the extent that the women can have their own extended playtime sessions with each other.

Personally, I'm happy in either situation. I tend to enjoy the company and personality of women more than men, so a multiple female household is preferred in terms of daily living environment. I suppose two couples who interchange partners as desired would be good too.

 

[Solivagant]

The problem lies with that attitude of ownership. And insecurity, "Does she love/ prefer him more than me?" -or- "Does he think she's more attractive?"

Monogamy is unnatural, and marriage a social construct whereby one person attempts to control another. I am satisfied with my marriage and love my partner, though, and respectful of his feelings.

That doesn't prevent me from fantasizing about other partners.

 

[Leftwriter]

Exactly

I agree with Solivagant. I totally understand having respect for your partner's feelings. If you haven't already, you might want to have a frank discussion about the possibility of either extending your family to include an additional spouse or of each of you allowing the other the freedom to enjoy the company of others. You never know what your partner thinks until you talk with them about it.

For some people swinging is the way to go. Everyone gets the variety that they need and there isn't a fear of anyone becoming attached to a specific lover because relationshps are not allowed to evolve beyond sex. For us, we don't feel comfortable with the idea of either of us just going out to get laid. We are only comfortable in a situation in which feelings between all members are already there. It is far easier, in my opinion, to trust a good friend with your lover than it is to assume a stranger has the safety and security of someone you love in mind. When you are all close friends, sex is just something people share, almost like a good meal, as opposed to something done to hurt or exclude.

One of my concerns is that even our use of language is colored by the culture of ownership, "My wife, my children, my car..." How do we move beyond that to get to the point where titles are less possessive? "This is_____, a person I love." Maybe?

Jealousy is about fear of loss. If you aren't afraid of losing a lover, the you do not fear them loving someone else. It takes an understanding between lovers that their love is not a zero sum situation. Just as someone can love a child, pet, friend, or relative without that love detracting from their love for their partner, so too can a person love more than one person in a sexual relationship without it meaning that they no longer love their spouse. It just takes a little more awareness of where feelings of jealousy and insecurity originate and how each partner can diminish or exacerbate those feelings baseed on their actions. Being aware of how your actions affect your partner and consciously behaving in such a way as to reinforce a sense of well being for your partner is a responsibility in any relationship, regardless of the number of members in your relationship.

Anyway, none of this is particularly new. People have maintained lovers and multiple spouses in hundreds of cultures for thousands of years.

Sorry for pontificating, but is is obviously an issue I feel strongly about. If you think I'm wrong and am going to hell, fine (what are you doing at this website then?). I just think it is important for people to hear that not everyone lives according to the same rules. There are options out there.

 

[Solivagant]

Whilst true that not everyone lives by the same rules, there must remain some commonality for the structure of society. I doubt that if my husband fancied someone else, that it would diminish his love for me, but when I consider the commitment we've made to each other, I don't want that attention divided. Could he support our family if another wife and children were added? Could we all work cooperatively and support each other? At some point someone would feel slighted; it's a sad fact of human nature.

Now a community of couples and families might prove more feasible. I couldn't adapt to an 'open marriage' because I want a say in who touches my body, whether directly or through relations with my partner; I trust his judgment certainly, but still want a say as it affects me. At present our culture doesn't support such arrangements well.

 

[horndog201]

Ummm..

I'm just going to say that is to each their own. Personally, I don't think, right now at least, that I would be able to get involved into a muliple partner relationship. To me its a trust issue. I've never been with anyone or gone out with anyone long enough to develop a deep enough trust in them to be able to deal with that. But then again, its the ownership thing. If I'm going to put all of my my time and energy into a relationship, I would like to be able to get that in return. But thats just me. If I devote myself to something or someone, I put all of the energy into it that I can.

But like I said, to each their own.

 

[Leftwriter]

Agreed

Open marriage, as in swinging, is not for us either.

I wouldn't mind so much a situation of two couples making trades on a long term basis. Our preference is still a third person as opposed to a second couple though. It is more intimate.

As far as feeling slighted, everyone feels that way from time to time regardless of the nature of their relationship. One person gets stuck with the majority of chores or one person's career always seems to take priority over another's career. Being slighted is not unique to multiple spouse households.

The logistics of multiple parent households (3+) are easier to work out than you'd imagine.

While our culture doesn't support such relationships right now, living that lifestyle does not require you to announce it to the world.

At any rate, I wish you and your partner a long and happy life together however you decide to live.

 

[sassylilthang]

Well....I think several of you have made some very interesting points on what would be a controversial topic on other websites. Certainly gave me something to think about.

 

[ickle_stace]

it wouldn't be for me

I'd never cheat on someone, just like I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me. Like horndog said, if I'm putting my all into a relationship, i wanna get the same back. When I'm with someone, I don't wanna share them, I want them to myself. I don't need variety, I'm happy with security

 

[horndog201]

it wouldn't be for me

I'd never cheat on someone, just like I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me. Like horndog said, if I'm putting my all into a relationship, i wanna get the same back. When I'm with someone, I don't wanna share them, I want them to myself. I don't need variety, I'm happy with security

I'm glad that at least one person agrees with me. Too bad they live across the pond.

 

[Aliyahlovinsex]

A wife with multiple husbands is a situation called polyandry. It exists, I know people who do it, and it works quite well thank you very much.

For most people, monogamy is unnatural. People who choose to have more than one lover and who decide that everyone involved should know one another and be either friends or lovers are simply being honest with themselves and their lovers about their nature....
On a more sexual note, straight men and women who live together are probably best served by having multiple men in the household (as long as the men have evolved beyond, "Me man, you mine"). Women are able to satisfy virtually any number of men and, indeed, often need more sex to feel fulfilled than men do. However, if the woman has leanings toward bisexuality, as many women do, then a multple female household is also good to the extent that the women can have their own extended playtime sessions with each other.

Thank you for the new word I guess I'm not talking about cheating. I was reading a story earlier in which this guy loved watching his wife with another man. And I'm not actually talking about a husband and wife situation..what about just living together...say one woman and three men, Like you said women can satisfy a number of men

Anyone wanna explore polyandy with me?

Thanks for the replies guys

 

[Solivagant]

I wasn't thinking about cheating either. Cheating is finding a replacement partner, going behind your partner's back to be with someone else. That's different than 'adding a little spice' by inviting another person or couple into your bed for an encounter, where the pleasure is mutually shared.

As far as a permanent situation, where two spouses each have another spouse, or one spouse has two spouses, that is where the ideal falls short. I quite easily and equally love two men, but I know I can only be with one. It's difficult enough compromising and cohabitating with one other person, and twice as difficult with two, compounded by the fact that not only do they have to get along with you but also each other.

As far as 'giving my all' in a relationship; that's a wonderful notion in the beginning, and even after years of marriage and in the midst of raising a family, I find a rededication and renewal with my partner every day. But even though the focus of my love is on us, I don't expect him to satisfy my every whim and need. That's a lot of pressure to place on one person, especially someone you care so much about. Likewise despite my devotion, I'm hardly the only bright spot in my husband's life. Jealousy is an ugly thing, and a relationship destroyer. Why would I want to saddle my lifemate with my insecurities, when I can address those in separate venues and leave the pleasant aspects of marriage intact? It's difficult enough when parenting, budgeting, and all the other responsibilities of marriage distract from the couple, and so many give up and divorce because they 'give their all' and find the whole experience lacking.

 

[Pyro Paul]

it is an intresting concept but unfortuantly this doesnt fly well in the Western world. not only because of religion or ethical beleifs of Monogomy but the acctual set up of our social system. we hold deep trust for those we take to bed and those we marry. if the idea of that trust being questioned by another person that is my equial makes most people uneasy.

Pologamy was mostly developed in India which thought on the idea of love and sex and wives rose your status in the after life, and by having multiple wives their by increased it exponentoly, also being belived that being happy is the best, it was widely belived that more wives = more happyness.

now Poloandry was created in africa out of desperation, not on the beleif of increasing their sexual drive. In africa some areas which where particularly hazardous tended to thin out ratio of men to women, eventualy leaving usualy a handfull of women to a tribe of men. in order to keep social order, happyness of all, as well as better the odds of all the tribe women often where shared among the tribe for the better of the tribe.


Both these practaces still go on to this day and are, although looked down upon by some, can be really successful if all parties are open minded. (even in a modern Western society.)

 

[Aliyahlovinsex]

if anyones read Laurell K Hamiltons Merry Gentry books they'd have a better idea of what I'm talkin about

 

[sxylilslut]

I read on one post that women had more tendencies towards bisexuality than men and I would like to disagree on that. Many women say they are bi because it's cool, the trend of the moment, and many men will not say they are bi because they will be seen as gay and less manly. The popularity of lesbian scenes in porn I think also contributes to the myth that women are all bi.

 

[Solivagant]

Perhaps it should have read that more women feel free to indulge bi tendencies or curiosities?

 

[ickle_stace]

I think maybe the popularity of lesbian porn is because alot of women get turned on by it, but fantasising about it and actually doing it for real with another woman is a totally different matter.

 

[envincible]

women need more men.. its a FACT damnit!

Thank you for the new word I guess I'm not talking about cheating. I was reading a story earlier in which this guy loved watching his wife with another man. And I'm not actually talking about a husband and wife situation..what about just living together...say one woman and three men, Like you said women can satisfy a number of men

Anyone wanna explore polyandy with me?

Thanks for the replies guys

I would too bad im in texas for now...

i had studied in class, that women needed more men during the whole evolution, thats why a man's sleep hormones get triggered after sex(usually) so that the women can fuck the next guy and the first guy would be asleep.

During evolution, women always needed more guys... btw, this is not me saying but a psychologist and she taught my college level human sex class...

PM me if u wanna chat sometime

 

[Solivagant]

I think maybe the popularity of lesbian porn is because alot of women get turned on by it, but fantasising about it and actually doing it for real with another woman is a totally different matter.

Maybe I'm unique in that I don't fantasize about things that I wouldn't be willing to try. I simply am not turned-on by the thought of something that I would never actually do.

 

[Solivagant]

Everyone's sick of hearing about it on my other favorite threads, so I'm resurrecting this one with my enthusiasm.

Six more days until I get to deflower my boy toy