Polish language and slang help!

[soupwarsproject]

Here's the deal, I am writing a story about a cross-dressing Polish prostitute. However, I my understanding of the language of Poland is limited to a glossary knowledge, so I need help with someone who understands it. I am posting the portion of the chapter with the words and phrases in questions. Any comments regarding language usage, or even the story itself would be greatly appreciated.


Thanks,
Vas

---

Another Killer Day #3

I'm pissy, I'm feeling bad. Alkyl nitrite, loves this fag. It's useful when taking in cock. My dupa is getting some. I'm cranky, I feel so sad. I got Rocket, in my head. I'm used to it. It’s just like death. This old dude is gonna cum. He's gonna cum. He's almost cum. He's finally cum. Yes. Ha! Ha! Ha! Switch! Finally, it's time to vent out of my rage. I'm the bisexual shaman, chuj ramming transvestite sage. If you could be here, now, you would simply stare. I'm taking my share, as my man-meat blood flares. I'm incorrigible in my sweet schoolgirl dress so lewd, as the man is screwed.

My pigtails as green as a pool table doth amuse. Skylark screws and loosens the noose. Detonating fuse! Who G-damn motherfucking made who? Stricture of his anus fiercely spurts out lube. Like a long neck goose, feeling loose and frictional. Mythical Sabeen, magical like fable, call this witchcraft, an alchemical view of a moon daisy.

Reckless is the sum of my cognition of what cum is. Painless for me, as I fill him up with the white shit. “You liked it?” I asked as he caught his breathing. Ain't HIV like love? Death ejaculate filled the glove. Unless of course you’re into the bareback, with an attitude like old-timers who thought tuberculosis was romantic. That kink too I will attack, but plain vanilla pedo-wannabe-freak didn’t want to get sick.

Thanks for the company and thanks for the cash. Now like the Missus, I must dash! I earned these dollars for making him holler. I’m not giving this wad of dinero, to Chaz el pimpero. After tonight, that fucker won’t feel fine. His ass is mine, retribution divine, I’m finally going to put him in the back of the line for the reincarnation wine. Land of the Polska I love you, but my Rocket loves coca more than she loves you. America, America, someday I will grow wings. It’s understood that in your 'hoods, there’s bling and shiny bling.

The old dude drops me off in that one alley by the abandoned art studio. I wave goodbye at Mr. Puzio as he motors off in his Ironhead Sportster. I rap at the door next to the dumpster. Marek Wnukowski recognizes me and opens the door. I walk into his illicit store and he knows the thing that I want more than my Rockie. “Cholera jasna,” he screams as he tries to find my killer-killer-bang-bang among the clutter and the clang-clang. As I tell him to hurry the fuck up in Polish, he yells at me the same language, “Odpierdol sie, cwel!”

Ha! Ha! I supposed I deserved that bit of slang. I retort with a much gentler slam, “Nie ba,dz' kutas, zajebany huj. Chaz wymagania jego wystrzal, chuj!” If you want to know what I just said in English, then it’s tough shit for thee. The translation loses the beat. This is Krakow, buddy, and that’s the way it be.

Marek shakes his vek like a wet dog emerging from a dank bog. He sells me an used and abused Smith and Wesson for the pimp to learn a lesson from my sweet little schoolgirl impersonation. If you think this is hard for me to swallow, Marek tells me something that you could translate as follows: “May you get cholera! If I didn’t know you were a fucking anorexic half-Jap midget with a dick and greenbacks, I’d rape you! I’d rape you in the ass and then I’d shoot you in the head. But, you’re such a faggot whore that you would probably enjoy it!” That slam is cute. It’s astute and accurate, and I really would enjoy it. There's goes my money but here's my gun. Marek, he tells me to have some fun.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

There's someone who hangs out in the "Rick's Rooftop" thread in the Sexual Role Playing Board who's a native Pole but I can't remember his name offhand. (Pogainin? Something like that). Anyhow, the people over there are very nice, and they could probably put you in touch with him. and I'll bet he'd help,


---dr.M.

 

[MathGirl]

Oh, no! Not again!

Just my opinion, but hasn't the cross-dressing-Polish-prostutute thing been done too, too often?
MG
Ps. What the hell is "alkyl nitrate?"

 

[raphy]

Nice style - Nice rhythm there. That's a challenging way to write.

 

[soupwarsproject]

There's someone who hangs out in the "Rick's Rooftop" thread in the Sexual Role Playing Board who's a native Pole but I can't remember his name offhand. (Pogainin? Something like that). Anyhow, the people over there are very nice, and they could probably put you in touch with him. and I'll bet he'd help,


---dr.M.

Thank you so much for your help. If you can direct him this way, I would be extremely appreciative.

 

[soupwarsproject]

Re: Oh, no! Not again!

Just my opinion, but hasn't the cross-dressing-Polish-prostutute thing been done too, too often?
MG
Ps. What the hell is "alkyl nitrate?"

Yes the cross-dressing-Polish prostitute thing has been done to death. The inspirational white rapper tries to improve his life has been done to death too. So has the prostitute-vampire-wannabe thing, the malicious little punk asshole who spreads AIDS for his own amusement thing, the roadtrip buddy trip thing, the let's go to America thing and the religious story thing, and the pedophile bait-impersonator thing as well, but dammit NOT AT THE SAME time! Every story has been told before, I just need to tell this one in my own SPEH'ZHUL way. Even if I fail, at least I tried. Besides, I need to do something after listening to far too much Gillette, Akineyle and other obnoxious eroticrap-rap.

As for alkyl nitrate, it's the boring and technical way of saying
poppers (a.k.a. whippers, Kix, liquid gold, poppers, ram, rock hard, thrust, TNT, amyl or butyl nitrate, isobutyl nitrate), drug of choice for the anal crowd. It's really not all that good for you, but it is readily accessible and rather cheap. All of these qualities are great for a P.P. needing to get erect several times a night with minimal effort, food or sleep.


Cheerio,
Vas

 

[soupwarsproject]

Nice style - Nice rhythm there. That's a challenging way to write.

Thank you so much. The first chapters were extremely difficult to write, and I am not sure if am completely happy with them. This is the first chapter that's making me truly happy. Fortunately, it's getting easier to do. I've been forcing myself to listen to a lot of rap, and it seems to help me get in the rhythm. I enjoy songwriting, but this experiment is helping me take those skills to the next level. I figure that this excercise should help me improve my poetry and songwriting skills by the time I finish it. For this reason, I really appreciate the encouragement. I know that this story is definitely not for everyone.

 

[Vincent E]

Przepraszam. Nie wiem, soupwarsproject. Nie mowie po polsku. Jestem Amerykaninem.

 

[soupwarsproject]

Przepraszam. Nie wiem, soupwarsproject. Nie mowie po polsku. Jestem Amerykaninem.

LOL!!! Hey, I figured that a lot of people who post here are American or primarily English-language writers. That's why I am hoping, I find someone who reads and writes Polish as a first language (or at least well enough to check my grammar.) It's okay, I am from the Caribbean and ESL, so I understand what that's all about! My husband's dad is Polish, but I doubt that he would help me out. On the contrary, he'd turn speechless, slap me and runaway if he read the story. But, that's life!

 

[SlickTony]

Very sophisticated stuff there, Soup. Reminds me a little of Joyce.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Oh, no! Not again!

As for alkyl nitrate, it's the boring and technical way of saying
whippers, Kix, liquid gold, poppers, ram, rock hard, thrust, TNT, amyl or butyl nitrate, isobutyl nitrate

Dear SWP,
Oh. Not really, though. The alkyl group is usually amyl, and it's almost always a nitrIte.
MG, Proud of having taken Organic Chemistry and always ready to show off.
Ps. Among the nitrAte derivatives, the glyceryl is by far the most interesting. Easy to make. Just stir glycerin and nitric acid together. Even better, shake vigorously. Right, Dr M?

 

[Guest]

Vas, if I may, I finally took the time to read you above after Tony's and Raff's comments. Really, really good. Very funny, good upkeep of rhythm and sounds. Joycean, yes, though I'm sure the academics would roar. If you're doing this to improve song lyrics then I'd love to hear 'em.

best regards, a new fan,

Perdita

 

[soupwarsproject]

I can accept being wrong.

MathGirl,

Dear SWP,
Oh. Not really, though. The alkyl group is usually amyl, and it's almost always a nitrIte.
MG, Proud of having taken Organic Chemistry and always ready to show off.
Ps. Among the nitrAte derivatives, the glyceryl is by far the most interesting. Easy to make. Just stir glycerin and nitric acid together. Even better, shake vigorously. Right, Dr M?

If I am misinformed, then I am misinformed. I do not, however, claim to be a professional chemist. I found the word in one of my journals from the days when I did several types of poppers and also observed others using the stuff. Fortunately, I quit using chems ages ago, so I accept the fact that my language usage in this case may be inaccurate. I concede and I will make the correction. I tried my best as much research as possible to come up a word that would fit the sound structure of the narrative, and apparently I fucked it up. Then again, that is why I posted the chapter here. I need help in getting my information as accurate as possible whether it be linguistic or scientific.

I stand corrected!
Vas from the Soup Wars Project

 

[MathGirl]

Dear Vas,
You gracefully accepted mean, small minded criticism. Well done.
MG
Ps. Is you last name Deferens?

 

[soupwarsproject]

MathGirl, in deferens to that remark...

Nowadays, I try to take everything in stride. It's too stressful to do otherwise. I've learned that faking intelligence gets you nowhere fast. I figure that admitting that I've fucked up when I fuck up is the Christian (not in a Pat Robertson way) thing to do. I might be a Jaqueline-of-all-Trades, but I claim to be the Mistress of the ultimate skill, NONE! I am not smart, just an information container. So if the information that I put in my container sucks cheese, my container will smell like cheese and that's no good. Moving to the next topic:

Deferens is something that holds testicles. Therefore, since I often hold my husband's balls, in a way I could be a Vas Deferens. However, it is not my last name. My marital last name is something long and Polish (much like the sausage) that starts with W and has far too many consonants.

Interestingly enough, part of my hyphenated maiden name was Colón which was invariably spelled and pronounced as "colon" in English. My other last name sort of rhymed with "Oral Tease." Imagine the teasing and the interesting assumptions the rumor-mill made when I was a little prude in high school. It was hilarious yet emotionally wretching. (Then people wonder why I grew up to be so orally and anally fixated.)

Vas is short for one of my college nicknames which was "Vasquez" (which means "from the valley of the little crow" or "little person from Basque".) It stuck. Oh well, I guess that there are worse things than being a girl nicknamed Vas Colon Oral-Tease.

 

[soupwarsproject]

Vas, if I may, I finally took the time to read you above after Tony's and Raff's comments. Really, really good. Very funny, good upkeep of rhythm and sounds. Joycean, yes, though I'm sure the academics would roar. If you're doing this to improve song lyrics then I'd love to hear 'em.

best regards, a new fan,

Perdita

You have a new fan as well. I just got through some of the "Elevator Girl" sories and I was absolutely charmed. I enjoy light Hentai very much, and I could picture it with your narratives. Your writing is quite a treat for me. I will try to post some of my songs in the near future in Literotica before and after I finish "PolskaJap Blood-Sucka Fucka" and see if the difference is noticeable. Thank you so much.

Cheers,
Vas

 

[soupwarsproject]

Very sophisticated stuff there, Soup. Reminds me a little of Joyce.

Thank you... *BTW* The picture of your kitty reminds me of my late buddy Shrimpiki. He was an awesome cat and I miss him so much. I love tuxedo cats very much.

 

[soupwarsproject]

Passing on a message from Candy to Dr. M.

Hey,

I went to Rick's Rooftop and I have a message for you.

"Candy needs your attention before she succumbs to female hysteria."

I'm not sure what it means, but I am sure you can figure it out.

Cheers,
Vas of SWP

 

[SlickTony]

Soup, this tuxedo cat's name is Zoey and she is a mess. We always try to have two cats--my husband is adamant that there can't be any more than two cats--and when we lose one, usually after a long time, from mostly natural causes (although we lost one 11YO cat in a hit&run) the Lord send another. Zoey came to us after Zappa died a couple of months shy of his 19th year.

Currently Zoey's harlequin-patterned nose is out of joint on account of Ziba, our new cat, whom we think might be an Ocicat, but she's learning to deal.

 

[soupwarsproject]

Kitty pain!

SlickTony: Poor kitty. I hope those two enventually get along.

 

[soupwarsproject]

Thank you everyone for the help

Dr M. and gang,

I found Poganin and he is really helpful! I also appreciated the feedback. Look for the first three chapters of Polska Blood-Sucka Phucka in a few days!

Gratefully,
Vas of SWP