Points of View

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

My normal writing style is first person from the MMC's POV. I'm currently working on a story where that doesn't seem to work. Of course, I could write it in third-person omniscient, and I may do so, but I find that POV doesn't move me as much.

I'm considering trying alternating first-person POV. The alternation would be between MMC's and FMC's POVs. I want to delve deeper into FMC's inner life, but not to the point of telling the whole story from her POV.

I'd like to hear from other authors who have tried this style. Were you successful? Did you have some way of marking the POV shifts beyond the words?

My story will be titled I Know a Heartache When I See One, inspired by the Jennifer Warnes song. This describes the romantic/sexual history of both MCs until they meet. They are both good, decent people who have been "unlucky in love". A theme is overcoming the distrust of the feelings they develop for each other, fearing that yet another heartache is coming their way.

A key scene is when FMC sees him without being seen as he interacts with an office slut type character who wouldn't give him the time of day when he needed someone, but wants him now. He utterly and angrily rejects OS, saying that he belongs to FMC and OS is not fit to walk ten feet behind her. Talking to him later, FMC affirms, "... The way you handled that woman straight up murdered my last fear."

BTW, that scene is based on an IRL experience, though my GF wasn't present when the woman who wouldn't give me the time of day when I was single and available suddenly became interested in me.

I just have to tell you about the incident that triggered her interest. My GF had slept over at my apartment, and in the morning, she wanted to make me a special breakfast but needed a couple of ingredients I didn't have on hand, so we walked over to a supermarket across the street and bought what we needed. We were seen by two of my female coworkers, who were doing some early-morning shopping of their own. One of them was the woman who suddenly developed an interest in me.

My GF was wearing a pair of sandals, one of my T-shirts, and absolutely nothing whatsoever else.

 

[YmaOHyd]

Other people have other perspectives on this and that's fine. Personally, I hate alternating-perspective 1P. I hate it. I will DNF a story that uses it unless the author is really good by dead-tree-book standards. If you're going to alternate perspectives, use 3P.

 

[Britva415]

I'd like to hear from other authors who have tried this style

How about readers who have read this style?

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

How about readers who have read this style?

Good point.

 

[Britva415]

Good point.

I wasn't making a point, I was asking whether you'd want to hear from any.

 

[IWroteThis]

If you intend to tell the same story twice, I'd suggest you don't. A bit of overlap is fine, but you want the story to keep moving forward, not keep jumping back and repeating itself. I primarily write from a single PoV, whether first or third person. Still, there are times when it's the best and/or only choice.

My currently top rated story has four scenes, three characters, and three PoVs. It works because each character knows a different bit of the story. Third person omniscient didn't work, because the lack of knowing what the other's knew was important.

I have a story for the 750 word project next month that switches PoV in the middle because the first part is about the MMC, but the end of the story is about everybody else while he's not there. Once again, the impact of the story would be changed (and harmed, in my opinion) by being told from a single PoV.

I have one other story that comes to mind where I switched back and forth between two PoVs. I got a lot of negative feedback, but it was more about mishandling the transitions than the two viewpoints. The bulk of the story was told from the fiancé's PoV as he talked to his potential father-in-law, but the FiL's flashbacks had to be told from his perspective, as the fiancé was not around yet.

So, to go back to my first point, the reason I think those three worked so well is that they didn't just cover the same things from two different directions, but progressed the story by shifting to the person in the best position to continue telling it.

 

[ronde]

My normal writing style is first person from the MMC's POV. I'm currently working on a story where that doesn't seem to work. Of course, I could write it in third-person omniscient, and I may do so, but I find that POV doesn't move me as much.

I'm considering trying alternating first-person POV. The alternation would be between MMC's and FMC's POVs. I want to delve deeper into FMC's inner life, but not to the point of telling the whole story from her POV.

I'd like to hear from other authors who have tried this style. Were you successful? Did you have some way of marking the POV shifts beyond the words?

My story will be titled I Know a Heartache When I See One, inspired by the Jennifer Warnes song. This describes the romantic/sexual history of both MCs until they meet. They are both good, decent people who have been "unlucky in love". A theme is overcoming the distrust of the feelings they develop for each other, fearing that yet another heartache is coming their way.

A key scene is when FMC sees him without being seen as he interacts with an office slut type character who wouldn't give him the time of day when he needed someone, but wants him now. He utterly and angrily rejects OS, saying that he belongs to FMC and OS is not fit to walk ten feet behind her. Talking to him later, FMC affirms, "... The way you handled that woman straight up murdered my last fear."

BTW, that scene is based on an IRL experience, though my GF wasn't present when the woman who wouldn't give me the time of day when I was single and available suddenly became interested in me.

I just have to tell you about the incident that triggered her interest. My GF had slept over at my apartment, and in the morning, she wanted to make me a special breakfast but needed a couple of ingredients I didn't have on hand, so we walked over to a supermarket across the street and bought what we needed. We were seen by two of my female coworkers, who were doing some early-morning shopping of their own. One of them was the woman who suddenly developed an interest in me.

My GF was wearing a pair of sandals, one of my T-shirts, and absolutely nothing whatsoever else.

I haven't tried multiple points of view and I know I'm in the minority here, but what do your gain by multiple points of view other than potentially confusing readers? Write the story in third person omniscient and let your characters tell the story through dialogue with enhancements by the third person narrator. You'll get the same multiple POV's along with the narrator setting the scene and offering insights into your characters. It will flow better and will be easier for readers to follow.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Plenty of good stories head-hop multiple points of view. Treasure Island might be the most famous example. You just want your story to make it clear to the reader when you are hopping and into who's head or the experience might get annoying.

 

[Djmac1031]

I'd like to hear from other authors who have tried this style. Were you successful? Did you have some way of marking the POV shifts beyond the words?

I only did this once, in chapter 2 of Caring For Carrie. I switched back and forth between Dad's narration and his daughter's.

Basically just broke it up with dividers and established who was narrating at the beginning of each section.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My normal writing style is first person from the MMC's POV. I'm currently working on a story where that doesn't seem to work. Of course, I could write it in third-person omniscient, and I may do so, but I find that POV doesn't move me as much.

I'm considering trying alternating first-person POV. The alternation would be between MMC's and FMC's POVs. I want to delve deeper into FMC's inner life, but not to the point of telling the whole story from her POV.

If you're going to do that, you might want to consider a close third person narrative. It's as intimate as first person, and easier to navigate the points of view shifts, as well as having the independent narrator (even if, right in close).

I'd like to hear from other authors who have tried this style. Were you successful? Did you have some way of marking the POV shifts beyond the words?

*****

Is all you need to delineate pov breaks, accompanied by context.

Or you can throw the rules out the window like I did in this story, where I use close third to follow three characters. Not a single comment about the pov shifts, which are constant and identified only by context.

You're My Last Flight

 

[anthrodisiac]

I tend to stick to either first person or third person limited, staying with a single character for short stories. For books, I will sometimes switch between 2 - 3 characters, but if I'm doing that it's always been third person limited. I think you alluded to the difference primarily being the narrative voice that's used in the section. Different characters have different vocabularies and idioms, different thinking structures, different emotional beats, etc., so you can use that to better dilineate whose section you're in.

If you did want to do first person and switch POVs, the best thing you can do is section breaks like @ElectricBlue mentioned. If you want to make it even more clear, you can tack on the person's name.

So:

...blah blah blah

****
John

I walked down the street and marveled at the rot of the city.

Or, if you want to be more subtle, you can have someone talk to the character directly and use their name:

*****
I walked down the street and marveled at the rot of the city.

"John," my partner said, "you stepped in dog shit."

I think the key thing is just figuring out which POV you're most comfortable with. Most readers won't really care one way or another as long as the story is decent. If you feel like first person isn't serving you, go for third person limited, as has been suggested.

 

[RocketGrunt]

Even third person close has problems with shifting viewpoints. It can be done well, like in A Game of Thrones. But it can also be a trainwreck that literally cannot get to the conclusion, like in the rest of the Song of Ice and Fire.

When you switch viewpoints, the different viewpoints need to justify themselves in the moment, but they also have to justify themselves retrospectively from the end. So when Ned Stark dies in A Game of Thrones, his POV chapters are recontextualized as being discoveries of problems that will not be solved. On the other hand, when Robb Stark dies in A Storm of Swords, all of his POV chapters across multiple books are recontextualized into a waste of the reader's fucking time.

It's really easy for some of the POV changes to end up having been pointless when you get to the end of the story, and if that happens your ending is going to be a letdown even if the payoff for the story is adequate. Each POV change is a setup that needs payoff just like it was a major plot point,

 

[BobbyBrandt]

If you intend to tell the same story twice, I'd suggest you don't. A bit of overlap is fine, but you want the story to keep moving forward, not keep jumping back and repeating itself. I primarily write from a single PoV, whether first or third person. Still, there are times when it's the best and/or only choice.

IMO, this is the critical element to make alternating POVs work. The chronology has to remain consistent and flow effortlessly for the readers.

The more distinct that you can make the characters, the better. Not just their dialogue, but their tone, rhythm, emotions, and perspectives all need to be clearly identifiable as different from one another.

 

[StillStunned]

On the other hand, when Robb Stark dies in A Storm of Swords, all of his POV chapters across multiple books are recontextualized into a waste of the reader's fucking time.

I don't remember Robb Stark ever being a POV character. Ned, Catelyn, Bran, Arya, Jon Snow yes, Sansa, Rickon and Robb no.

 

[RocketGrunt]

I don't remember Robb Stark ever being a POV character. Ned, Catelyn, Bran, Arya, Jon Snow yes, Sansa, Rickon and Robb no.

That is technically true. None of the faction leaders get "true" POV chapters in Song of Ice and Fire. I should have been more specific: "The observational POV chapters that chronicled Robb's actions" rather than "Robb's POV chapters" because that's stylistically how the series handles the rival monarchs.

 

[CalBishForNow]

I almost always use limited third-person past-tense, i.e. an omniscient narrator who follows closely the thoughts and actions of one protagonist, and other people only as they interact with that person. Maybe someday I should try true first-person but having a little more distance feels safer, for lack of a better way to put it.

On the other hand, maybe that's the perfect way to put it. I'm not writing intricate plots or artistic, thoughtful examinations of characters or philosophical ideas, I'm writing erotica, and it's very action-focused. Writing this in first person might be bad for my laundry or my marriage.

However, it isn't always the same third person the narrator is following. I've changed viewpoint characters several times between one chapter and the next of ongoing series, and I've got two stories that change viewpoint character within the story. I wouldn't recommend doing it too often or repeating the same material from two perspectives, but it can be a good way to cover events that one character wasn't there for.