WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
I was just thinking of the many poems I've read at lit in the past 2 1/2 years. Many of them are about love and passion. Of course, there are many ways that love and passion can take shape in a poem.
If you're a poet in training, you may want to explore other possible ways of writing about this basic theme.
A typical passion/lust poem:
I saw her passion
flames of desire
she burnt me with
her blazing fire
consumed my soul
turned me to lust
left me in ashes
there in the dust
This woman in the poem above causes spontaneous, lustful combustion. She was so hot, she killed him.
Here's another way to approach a poem about a femme fatale who evokes a moment of lust:
she was death,
with ease of silk
down to her calves--
cocoa hush
seemingly miles
from view.
charms
silver sway
and vanish,
taking his breath
with her.
Another way to say that she simply took his breath away. Once again, she was so hot she killed him.
So, what did you get out of these two poems? When I read a poem like the first one, I'm told there is lust and passion, and I'll leave this easily forgettable poem with the tired image of burning passion.
But the second one gives me something to hold on to. I see a woman in a long, silk dress/skirt. Then there's the tantalizing line about her delights seeming to be so far away, which makes them all the more desirable. And on top of all that, she's wearing those sexy, silver charms that sway with her movements. Then she's gone--walks away. And she leaves him breathless. I tell you in this poem that she makes him lust without saying: "She made him lust." You won't remember being told he lusted, but you may remember what she did to cause that lust!
If you're a poet in training, you may want to explore other possible ways of writing about this basic theme.
A typical passion/lust poem:
I saw her passion
flames of desire
she burnt me with
her blazing fire
consumed my soul
turned me to lust
left me in ashes
there in the dust
This woman in the poem above causes spontaneous, lustful combustion. She was so hot, she killed him.
Here's another way to approach a poem about a femme fatale who evokes a moment of lust:
she was death,
with ease of silk
down to her calves--
cocoa hush
seemingly miles
from view.
charms
silver sway
and vanish,
taking his breath
with her.
Another way to say that she simply took his breath away. Once again, she was so hot she killed him.
So, what did you get out of these two poems? When I read a poem like the first one, I'm told there is lust and passion, and I'll leave this easily forgettable poem with the tired image of burning passion.
But the second one gives me something to hold on to. I see a woman in a long, silk dress/skirt. Then there's the tantalizing line about her delights seeming to be so far away, which makes them all the more desirable. And on top of all that, she's wearing those sexy, silver charms that sway with her movements. Then she's gone--walks away. And she leaves him breathless. I tell you in this poem that she makes him lust without saying: "She made him lust." You won't remember being told he lusted, but you may remember what she did to cause that lust!
