Poetry and Sexual Humor

[GratefulFred]

I don't know if anyone can help me find any pieces that are somewhat witty as well as sexy, but I would love if someone could suggest some pieces.



Some of my poems and stories are here...
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/memberpage.php?uid=393454&page=submissions

 

[WickedEve]

I know we have witty and sexy. Most of us have written at least one, but I can't think of any right off hand.

 

[WickedEve]

something like this?

tit fuck

 

[flyguy69]

I know we have witty and sexy. Most of us have written at least one, but I can't think of any right off hand.

Serendipity

Look at the "Just for Fun" thread, Fred.

 

[WickedEve]

Serendipity

Look at the "Just for Fun" thread, Fred.

just for fun

 

[GratefulFred]

Loved the "Tit Fuck". Give me more of the same if anyone can.

 

[Syndra Lynn]

Try this Fred~

an Intimate act

Feast of Flesh

Ode to Older Men

Playful Purple Poets

I find these witty and sexy, but I wrote them. Let me know what you think!

Syn

 

[annaswirls]

not really sexual but it was what I could find. I have to look for my sex in the zoo poem somewhere lost in my files


Bad Naked Lady Quartet

two dollar yard sale
box of Barbies and
the cheap slut rip offs
”betty” and “brendas”
hollow plastic

twenty barbies
one for each aunt on both sides of the family
who get to come to
triplet Skipper's birthday party
every day

(I get to be the aerobics instructor)

sister barbie
left breast pressed in
we don’t want to play with her
ugly boobies

or broken arm
boneless barbie,
goth tatoo nose ring
black mane pale skin barbie imitation,
or bald barbie either

the team of four
bad naked ladies
banished from the play

they are ugly
they are bad

they crash triplet Skippers
birthday party
every day

and the good
and beautiful
sixteen
fight
and
win

every
day

bad naked ladies
banished once again

 

[annaswirls]

doggy --my funny sex poem

found it


doggy

Doggy

Night guard forgets
“Sex for Idiots.”
Curious chimps immediately
open to page 17.
What’s this?
“Doggy style?”
“Doggy style?”

Thus begins the zoo wide protest….


Why does the credit go to the dogs?
Why, when everyone does it like that?
Lions, ducks, wood chucks, wild hogs
Better and before the dogs. Dogs?
Come when master snaps, dogs?
Floppy eared bunnies and timid deer
even got it down to a science round here…

Hey, look at that, Missionary, page 24
Now why’d you wanna go and do that for?
What ever happened to good old four on the floor?
All those extra parts all over the place
who’d want to be looking at that face
while, well you know….Missionary wha?

Giraffes just laugh, lone jaguar cries
In a vain attempt the poor turtle nearly dies.

Polar bears tilt their heads to the side
study the diagram, give it a try
Noses bumping, an angry grrrr,
“Ouch, your paw is on my fur!”

Just
Can’t
Get
The
Right
Angle

Until...


Morning gates open.
Animals hide their eyes
under paw, flipper, wing
or just laugh imagining us
in such uncomfortable positions.

 

[anonamouse]

tit fuck

ungh, squeak
ungh, squeak
ungh, squeak

 

[Syndra Lynn]

not really sexual but it was what I could find. I have to look for my sex in the zoo poem somewhere lost in my files


Bad Naked Lady Quartet



sister barbie
left breast pressed in
we don’t want to play with her
ugly boobies

or broken arm
boneless barbie,
goth tatoo nose ring
black mane pale skin barbie imitation,
or bald barbie either

the team of four
bad naked ladies
banished from the play

they are ugly
they are bad

they crash triplet Skippers
birthday party
every day

and the good
and beautiful
sixteen
fight
and
win

every
day

bad naked ladies
banished once again

Now that's funny!

Syn

 

[Guest]

Reflections on a Shaved Ham Sandwich

Small package
flimsily wrapped in transparen white
carefully
he breaks the seal
and gently peels it back.

Pink folds
succulent and moist
lie waiting
makking him salivate

tenderly
with two fingers
he separate the folds
tasting the saltiness

pulling, dividing
he arranges the pink petals
as he wants
licking his fingers
lowering his mouth

spicy sea-taste
moistened sheen
creamy white fills the furrows
the act completed

he stoops to devour this

his lunch.

this was an audio that got pulled along with more worthy stuff

 

[Man Ray]

Hey...

Hey Tess, why don't you re-post? I for one would love to see your earlier work again. As I expect would many others....

Small package
flimsily wrapped in transparen white
carefully
he breaks the seal
and gently peels it back.

Pink folds
succulent and moist
lie waiting
makking him salivate

tenderly
with two fingers
he separate the folds
tasting the saltiness

pulling, dividing
he arranges the pink petals
as he wants
licking his fingers
lowering his mouth

spicy sea-taste
moistened sheen
creamy white fills the furrows
the act completed

he stoops to devour this

his lunch.

this was an audio that got pulled along with more worthy stuff

 

[Boxlicker101]

I don't know if anyone can help me find any pieces that are somewhat witty as well as sexy, but I would love if someone could suggest some pieces.



Some of my poems and stories are here...
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/memberpage.php?uid=393454&page=submissions

Most of my poems are jokes written in rhyme. Click on "My Smut" to get to my index.

 

[herecomestherain]

I'm not too sure if my poem My Provocateur qualifies as either particularly sexy or humorous but I've had a couple of folk tell me that the innuendo of the last stanza made them smile.

http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=167686

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

The trouble with your request is that both the humorous and the erotic exist in the beholder’s eye,
but a few people were kind enough to claim that they thought the doggerel I entered
in The Winter Holiday Contest was witty, or at least half-so.

Shopper's Orgy; or, The Saturnalia Before Christmas