Poems I wrote...

[goddess_euphoria]

I'm thinking about submitting some things, but some of them are pretty, well, I'm not sure what the right word is for them. See, the majority of them I wrote at about 17, when I had never actually had sex before. And some of them can get down right goofy. An example:

Sex
Oh baby, I want you now.
Drop your pants down,
tell me I'm sexy,
tell me I'm great
but hurry up man 'cause I can't wait.
I need your kiss on more than just my lips...
lick me up, lick me down, pull my panties to the ground.
Stick your fingers in, wiggle them around;
and now that I'm nice and wet,
use your tongue and I'm willing to bet-
suck and lick as much as you can
OH MAN! You make me so hot, I'm coming for you, ready or not.
Here I am, so take me and mount me, make me moan and groan.
Throw me down and fuck me...
make me melt, whip me with your belt.
I'll spread my legs for you,
fill me with your cock and make me scream...
I'll enjoy every inch of you
in every way I know how.
Let me spread honey on your dick, I promise I won't miss a lick;
I'll deep throat you, and when you come I'll swallow your pride-
So come on you sexy beast, I'll give you the ultimate ride!

Can't believe I just shared that... uh, anyway, I was just wondering if someone could tell me if they think that's too hookey, and maybe look over some other stuff that I have.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I am somewhat plebian in poetry tastes so I don't know how much my considered opinion is worth. I liked it.