Poem "Empty"

[darthjser]

Hi everyone,

Been through ups and downs like most people, may be all ... ... and no one in their right mind would say "no" to seduction unless compelled by reality check or bigger issues in life realizing that after the bliss of fast pleasure, the world of "daily grind" not so pleasant as the neon lights that fade in and out.
Big income earners might feel no such qualms yet rainy days do come and what happens then?

I wrote this poem some time ago:

Deception whispers her cool voice as silky fingers caress back quite sore
“Want to have some fun?” pretty blonde with twinkling eyes wink in flirtatious manners
Oh if it were real and not some cheap trill on a lonely Saturday night out
Just a job, like yours … … she hates being the toy but fast money is her reward

Fake love can’t tell the difference when warm arms embrace
Maybe reality and illusions are only a thin line apart, solitary spells doom
Company of happy laughter all very odd when hungry eyes count dollars
Watch the fair maiden lie blatantly but never blame her, you wanted it!

Rage against a night gone past and morning a painful truth to swallow down
Made worse now that gorgeous ladies walk past without even a glance
Cry and scream for time lost, hope for the weekend and taste forbidden fruit
It is lovely isn’t it?

Sinking to lows not experienced, despise self control forgotten
Lose cash hard earned or inheritance thrown away
“Hello brother” as a homeless nods understandingly
Recognizing the subtle hints of walks familiar, wish for nights not spent on gold diggers

Lament and cry, time gone lost forever
Addiction vices cruel, whose going to save your soul?

 

[Picodiribibi]

Hi everyone,

Been through ups and downs like most people, may be all ... ... and no one in their right mind would say "no" to seduction unless compelled by reality check or bigger issues in life realizing that after the bliss of fast pleasure, the world of "daily grind" not so pleasant as the neon lights that fade in and out.
Big income earners might feel no such qualms yet rainy days do come and what happens then?

I wrote this poem some time ago:

Deception whispers her cool voice as silky fingers caress back quite sore
“Want to have some fun?” pretty blonde with twinkling eyes wink in flirtatious manners
Oh if it were real and not some cheap trill on a lonely Saturday night out
Just a job, like yours … … she hates being the toy but fast money is her reward

Fake love can’t tell the difference when warm arms embrace
Maybe reality and illusions are only a thin line apart, solitary spells doom
Company of happy laughter all very odd when hungry eyes count dollars
Watch the fair maiden lie blatantly but never blame her, you wanted it!

Rage against a night gone past and morning a painful truth to swallow down
Made worse now that gorgeous ladies walk past without even a glance
Cry and scream for time lost, hope for the weekend and taste forbidden fruit
It is lovely isn’t it?

Sinking to lows not experienced, despise self control forgotten
Lose cash hard earned or inheritance thrown away
“Hello brother” as a homeless nods understandingly
Recognizing the subtle hints of walks familiar, wish for nights not spent on gold diggers

Lament and cry, time gone lost forever
Addiction vices cruel, whose going to save your soul?

I, for one, see nothing morally wrong with prostitution.

Homelessness, however, is inexcusable.

 

[darthjser]

Prostitution can cause tension if a man has a family or is in a relationship.
Even if that were not the case, when a person decides to settle down and quit playing the field, habits formed over time may not be easy to break and that baggage is something that would be carried over to the special someone who might become grieved.
If one studies the behavioral patterns of those who indulge in women, they tend to increasingly spend more over time, and each initial high they get requires spending more because the body has become accustomed to tingling pleasures that now need more to feel the same "rush."
This spiral is not going anywhere and the person would soon be drained of finances ... ... And consider the same pals that were "praising" for high libido and manly instincts, now they fade to the background and other good folks simply smile sadly.

 

[Picodiribibi]

Prostitution can cause tension if a man has a family or is in a relationship.
Even if that were not the case, when a person decides to settle down and quit playing the field, habits formed over time may not be easy to break and that baggage is something that would be carried over to the special someone who might become grieved.
If one studies the behavioral patterns of those who indulge in women, they tend to increasingly spend more over time, and each initial high they get requires spending more because the body has become accustomed to tingling pleasures that now need more to feel the same "rush."
This spiral is not going anywhere and the person would soon be drained of finances ... ... And consider the same pals that were "praising" for high libido and manly instincts, now they fade to the background and other good folks simply smile sadly.

Well what's the point of paying for the milk when you get the cow for free?

Whoever we're talking about needs to learn to communicate more effectively with their partner and stop blaming their unhappiness on their libido.

And why do you assume I mean "woman" when I say "prostitute"?
What's wrong with gigolos? Women deserve fake love, too.

 

[champagne1982]

I know lots of people who indulge in sex and here's a FLASH! for ya, they don't pay for it.

Prostitution is not a victimless crime as so many adherents of the practice would like us to believe. If darthjser wants to paint the johns as the victim, I think his sympathies are misplaced.

If you'd like critique let me know. I have some thoughts WRT syntax and word choice.

 

[Picodiribibi]

I know lots of people who indulge in sex and here's a FLASH! for ya, they don't pay for it.

Prostitution is not a victimless crime as so many adherents of the practice would like us to believe. If darthjser wants to paint the johns as the victim, I think his sympathies are misplaced.

If you'd like critique let me know. I have some thoughts WRT syntax and word choice.

I think he needs to insert a hyphen between "self" and "control."

 

[Angeline]

Hi everyone,

Been through ups and downs like most people, may be all ... ... and no one in their right mind would say "no" to seduction unless compelled by reality check or bigger issues in life realizing that after the bliss of fast pleasure, the world of "daily grind" not so pleasant as the neon lights that fade in and out.
Big income earners might feel no such qualms yet rainy days do come and what happens then?

I wrote this poem some time ago:

Deception whispers her cool voice as silky fingers caress back quite sore
“Want to have some fun?” pretty blonde with twinkling eyes wink in flirtatious manners
Oh if it were real and not some cheap trill on a lonely Saturday night out
Just a job, like yours … … she hates being the toy but fast money is her reward

Fake love can’t tell the difference when warm arms embrace
Maybe reality and illusions are only a thin line apart, solitary spells doom
Company of happy laughter all very odd when hungry eyes count dollars
Watch the fair maiden lie blatantly but never blame her, you wanted it!

Rage against a night gone past and morning a painful truth to swallow down
Made worse now that gorgeous ladies walk past without even a glance
Cry and scream for time lost, hope for the weekend and taste forbidden fruit
It is lovely isn’t it?

Sinking to lows not experienced, despise self control forgotten
Lose cash hard earned or inheritance thrown away
“Hello brother” as a homeless nods understandingly
Recognizing the subtle hints of walks familiar, wish for nights not spent on gold diggers

Lament and cry, time gone lost forever
Addiction vices cruel, whose going to save your soul?

There's a lot that's good here, but you need to shape this poem in my opinion. Prune it down by deleting every extraneous word. And while I realize your focus is on the man, I think not to assume that the woman has a full life, too, and as much ambivalence about "fake love" as he does, is wrongminded. It also would make the poem more interesting.

Just my two cents.

 

[darthjser]

Thank you Angeline!

I will keep in mind to shorten word usage and make it succint. As for focusing on the guy, it is because I think too much would be going on at once if both the women and guy are factored into the poem. Thus usually when I write it is only about one party ... ...

 

[darthjser]

Hi Champagne1982,
Thank you for the post. Maybe you are right and parents should be more strict on their kids who grow up and face the choices out there ... ... it's just that not everyone has a parent, or they might be already worn out from work to remind over and over again about the downfalls of drugs, prostitution etc.
I've seen good kids who make mistakes because they were simply confused and I do understand that it is a difficult job being a prostitute since it usually involves doing an intimate act with someone you have no feelings for, maybe even repugnance. As situations differ, some people might find there is no way out other than that route. If that is really the case, letters or petitions should be written to the state government to make changes to allow people an option not to fall into these lines.

In third world countries, there is really no solution since their debts have already been unpaid and they still need more ... ... they simply have to upgrade their skill levels.

 

[champagne1982]

Hi Champagne1982,
Thank you for the post. Maybe you are right and parents should be more strict on their kids who grow up and face the choices out there ... ... it's just that not everyone has a parent, or they might be already worn out from work to remind over and over again about the downfalls of drugs, prostitution etc.
I've seen good kids who make mistakes because they were simply confused and I do understand that it is a difficult job being a prostitute since it usually involves doing an intimate act with someone you have no feelings for, maybe even repugnance. As situations differ, some people might find there is no way out other than that route. If that is really the case, letters or petitions should be written to the state government to make changes to allow people an option not to fall into these lines.

In third world countries, there is really no solution since their debts have already been unpaid and they still need more ... ... they simply have to upgrade their skill levels.

What makes you assume I'm talking about middle class America? That's terribly inaccurate.

darthsjer,
Please read this poem and then explain to me, through your poetry, the social commentary jd4george makes in Wangui Waithira.

Prostitution is not a "job" it is a crime. Pity the real criminals aren't the ones who are taken by child social services... or the ones beaten and raped... or the ones given addictive street drugs to tie them to their pimps... or the ones who are HIV positive yet still needing the fix.

The "kids" I know who have sex, do so responsibly. There are far too many incurable STD's out there to behave any differently and LOL at your comment about upgrading their skill levels; that's just plain naive.

 

[Picodiribibi]

What makes you assume I'm talking about middle class America? That's terribly inaccurate.

darthsjer,
Please read this poem and then explain to me, through your poetry, the social commentary jd4george makes in Wangui Waithira.

Prostitution is not a "job" it is a crime. Pity the real criminals aren't the ones who are taken by child social services... or the ones beaten and raped... or the ones given addictive street drugs to tie them to their pimps... or the ones who are HIV positive yet still needing the fix.

The "kids" I know who have sex, do so responsibly. There are far too many incurable STD's out there to behave any differently and LOL at your comment about upgrading their skill levels; that's just plain naive.

You must have known darthsjar wouldn't be the only one to read your note.

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You're right on, of course.
That piece is right on. Fucking hell...
Why'd you have to give us all that straight dope injection?

Why?

Now you've torn me open,
started me thinking again
of power
and the abuse of power;
of the poverty of gender;
of the stigma
and hopelessness
of poverty.

On the streets of Nairobi
you tore me open
and left me,
bleeding,
with a question.