Plot Bunny: There's a condom in my Urinal!

[neonlyte]

So I'm travelling back through Heathrow, London, Terminal 2, busting for a leak and use the toilets in the departure hall just before the security check in.

In the urinal is a used condom.

Now I'm a broad minded kind of chap but this toilet is busy, handles thousands of people a day and has a permanent attendant. I'm curious as to the circumstances that led to a used condom to be lying at rest in the urinal. A passionate goodbye? Husband came back unexpected and he didn't have time to whip it off? Gentleman's games before take off?

Anyone have any other suggestions?

Where's Sub Joe when you need him? Has he gone - Gone? Or taking a vacation?

 

[Blackie Malone]

Maybe they just forgot to take it off when they were done and then....surprise!!!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

A travelling salesman coming home at the end of a long trip, had planned to rape his wife hello.

Just as soon as he finished sliding the condom in place, while standing at the urinal, his wife call him on his cell phone to let him know his mother-in-law had come for a two-week visit.

Now he’s pissed off!

 

[minsue]

Now he’s pissed off!

I thought that was the condom

 

[carsonshepherd]

I thought that was the condom

OMG, I think that was the funniest thing you have ever said. Congratulations!

My take: a M/M quickie.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I thought that was the condom

Go ahead! Belabour the point.

 

[minsue]

Go ahead! Belabour the point.

I just can't help myself. You should know that by now, Burly.

 

[ElizabethWest]

Perhaps he was practicing safe masturbation.

 

[Guest]

I remember an old joke:

"Elmer, You got any diseases?"

"No, Buford I ain't got no diseases."

"Well, you care if that girl in New york gets pregnant?"

"Naw, I don't care."

"Well, I'm takin' this damned thing of I gotta piss."

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Suggestion #2.

The used condom had not been employed for any of the ususal reasons.

Rather, it was employed in the same way that Depends protect sufferers of incontinence.

That particular condom was used to protect its owner (and his clothing) from the visible stigma of drippy dick.

 

[yui]

My vote: Drug Trafficking

"Ohmygod the condom broke!"

 

[OhMissScarlett]

My vote: Drug Trafficking

"Ohmygod the condom broke!"

Scary. Almost as scary as "My breast implant is leaking heroin again!"

 

[yui]

Scary. Almost as scary as "My breast implant is leaking heroin again!"

I saw that episode of Nip/Tuck!!!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I saw that episode of Nip/Tuck!!!

That's the kind of fluff I watch when I can't write, that and MTV Made.
sidenote: finding a used condom is a lot less disturbing than finding corn. I used to work at a convenience store, don't even ask.

 

[carsonshepherd]

That's the kind of fluff I watch when I can't write, that and MTV Made.
sidenote: finding a used condom is a lot less disturbing than finding corn. I used to work at a convenience store, don't even ask.

PMSL.

Corn in Illinois is ubiquitous, my darling. Whether it be in a toilet or in your car.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Suggestion #3


Unbeknownst to most of the inhabitants of earth, Heathrow is the terminus for an intergalactic passenger service. Most of the passengers are near enough to humanoid to escape noticed in a busy airport, but occasionally, a traveller will be vastly different.

This is such a case.

The traveller came from a planet inhabited by sentient gasses. In order to venture safely off -planet, they must condense themselves into a small rubber-like sack. This protects them from experiencing any traumatic loss of essence due to dissipation.

Becoming separated from his companions during his passage through Heathrow, the traveller tried to find someone from whom he could ask directions. Checking his odormeter for life signs, he was naturally led to one of the areas where the ambient odors have a most individualistic signature — the mens’ washroom.

He, in his rubberlike pressure suit, came to rest before an interesting display of falling condensed vapour, when a native earthling trod upon him — with fatal results.

The condom that you thought you saw was, in actuality, an intergalactic pressure suit. What made you believe that it had been used, was the traces of the traveller’s essence which congealed onto his suit when it explosively decompressed.

 

[BlackShanglan]

My vote:

It actually *was* SubJoe who did it. He left it as a little present to encourage the writer and speculative pornographer in all of us.

Shanglan

 

[OhMissScarlett]

My vote:

It actually *was* SubJoe who did it. He left it as a little present to encourage the writer and speculative pornographer in all of us.

Shanglan

Since he's not around, I'm blaming him for everything. Thanks for global warming and litter, Joe!