Please take a look at

[americandemon]

My new poem called On Halloween Night. My poems are VERY simple and not alot of people like them (thats why I stick to stories!lol) But if you could look at it and give it a vote.....it would mean alot.
Thanks
Demon

 

[Angeline]

My new poem called On Halloween Night. My poems are VERY simple and not alot of people like them (thats why I stick to stories!lol) But if you could look at it and give it a vote.....it would mean alot.
Thanks
Demon

On Halloween Night

I read it demon. It's not the kind of poem I would write but it's pretty good, in my opinion. The thing I like about it is that it's unrelenting with one image after another, and it's not particularly scary, which is cool and made me smile.

I gave it a 4 because of grammatical stuff that I think would be pretty easy to clean up. (I was an English teacher and an editor--I can't help myself--and I really only mean to be helpful.)

If you want to know what, imo anyway, could be fixed grammatically, let me know. I do like the poem. You can call it simple, yes, but sometimes simple sentiments can really work.

 

[flyguy69]

How serious are you about poetry? You've written quite a few over the course of 2 years, but I don't see any dramatic changes in your work. If you seriously want to improve (which your post here implies) I suggest you spend some time reading other poets and experiment.

This community is extraordinarily supportive of dedicated writers willing to take some risks. Find a style you like, then try to imitate it. Throw a poem out there, take your lumps, and try again. Contact an author that seems successful in the style you are trying, and ask their response to your work. Get a second opinion, then try again. That is what I have done, and the encoragement of others has made me a much better poet than I was in March.

Your poetry can improve, but you've got to be willing to challenge yourself.

 

[WickedEve]

Cute. Kids would like this poem. It's a Happy Halloween and Boo! kind of poem.

 

[Angeline]

Cute. Kids would like this poem. It's a Happy Halloween and Boo! kind of poem.

That's exactly what I thought. Sometimes I think we're the same person. Then I remember I'm a domme.

 

[WickedEve]

That's exactly what I thought. Sometimes I think we're the same person. Then I remember I'm a domme.

You're a fluffy domme of a girl who uses hair ribbon whips.

 

[Angeline]

You're a fluffy domme of a girl who uses hair ribbon whips.

i'm frozen. there was a frost here last night.

i'm moving.

to your house.

 

[WickedEve]

It's cold here too! We also had our first frost. I just got the kids on the bus. I was wearing this super long, big sweater. Both kids got inside with me. So, people were driving by and saw just my head and 6 feet. lol

 

[Angeline]

It's cold here too! We also had our first frost. I just got the kids on the bus. I was wearing this super long, big sweater. Both kids got inside with me. So, people were driving by and saw just my head and 6 feet. lol

I've already worn my warmest sweater over a turtleneck too--and it's early October. And, ee, the bum is standing here showing me his hats and gloves. I put on a pair of his gloves and he snatched them away from me, lol.

 

[WickedEve]

I've already worn my warmest sweater over a turtleneck too--and it's early October. And, ee, the bum is standing here showing me his hats and gloves. I put on a pair of his gloves and he snatched them away from me, lol.

God, that's sad. The two of you are freezing and fighting over the last pair of gloves. Let me send you a green pooh bear blanket or dora the explorer sleeping bag!

 

[Angeline]

God, that's sad. The two of you are freezing and fighting over the last pair of gloves. Let me send you a green pooh bear blanket or dora the explorer sleeping bag!

lol. ok. for years my favorite blanket was this big old sesame street comforter. there is no truth to any rumors you've heard about me and grover.

 

[WickedEve]

lol. ok. for years my favorite blanket was this big old sesame street comforter. there is no truth to any rumors you've heard about me and grover.

I just hope you don't scream out grover when you're with ee.