Please Leave Your Shoes At the Door and Other Rules

[cymbidia]

Everyone Read Look & Participate: Please Leave Your Shoes At the Door and Other Rules

From that thread with the long-ass name:

May be we could have a new sticky titled 'please leave your shoes at the door and other rules' it could include our policy on personal ads, our policy on PM's, banning people, giving out personal details etc etc. So that we all know under what circumstances posts will be deleted etc etc. I know its more work for our lovely moderators but I'm sure it woudl be very helpful to newbies. We can also put in the standard advice of ;- 'go read the mother thread' or 'do a search' which seems to be one of the standard responses to new queries.

Okay, guys.

Let's write ourselves a permanent sticky welcoming all new people and letting them know what kind of a place this is and what we need from them in terms of behavior.

What???!!!???? You thought *i* was gonna write it? R? WD? Not so, my pretties. This place belongs to us all and we're all gonna write this one.

We need short, succint, positively-phrased rules, a handful, not a law-bookful.

We need to welcome new people here and give them a paddle so they can begin to do what the rest of us are doing in this boat.

Here's what i thought:
1. Someone, let's just say petrel, posts something all written out about using SEARCH to find info about past topics.

2. Everyone else votes yes or no on the thing needing to be a rule.

3. Wording changes are made so it moves from wonderful to an absolutely stunning bit of writing - and then we move on to the next rule-in-waiting.

Any questions, comments, observations?

Someone begin, please. All i can come up with at the moment is:
Rule #1
No fucking personals ads. At all. Yes, moron, that does include you.


I'm pretty sure that's a teensy tiny bit too hostile for where we want to go with this thing, hmmm?





(Edited to include BG's excellent suggestion. I think there's space for two more characters in the thread title. Any suggestions on which ones to use? )

 

[RawHumor]

Rule 2: We know you like Cym's AV. She ALWAYS has great AV's. Not, it's not really her (is it?) No need to compliment her on it.

btw, nice av, Cym.


Okay, I'll be serious. *struggling*

You could post the obvious about keeping personal information on public threads to a minimum... or requests for such.

 

[cymbidia]

Well, those boobs look something like mine - if mine weren't dead-fish white, at the least - but no, the boobs in that av are not mine. None of my av's are me, actually, except one that almost never use. It shows me holding a hand-lettered sign up near my boob, a sign with my nick on it. I did it last summer to prove my nipple piercing to doubters.


And...
You were not paying attention! (Where's Dom/me with a punishment jones when you need one! You'd think we could find one in here, of all places.) You gotta WRITE the rule, then we all refine it, not just suggest a rule category.

 

[RawHumor]

Well, those boobs look something like mine - if mine weren't dead-fish white, at the least - but no, the boobs in that av are not mine. None of my av's are me, actually, except one that almost never use. It shows me holding a hand-lettered sign up near my boob, a sign with my nick on it. I did it last summer to prove my nipple piercing to doubters.

And...
You were not paying attention! (Where's Dom/me with a punishment jones when you need one! You'd think we could find one in here, of all places.) You gotta WRITE the rule, then we all refine it, not just suggest a rule category.

LOL I have a tough time following rules sometimes... my personal favorite av of yours is that nifty pinwheel on the nipple.

And the reason I didn't make it into RULE format was because I wasn't sure if it was too obvious to make it a rule or not.

 

[MissTaken]

Here goes! I have written enough policy and procedure in my day....


Rule #1: After much thought and a very democratic approach, we here on the BDSM forum of literotica.com have decided there will be NO FUCKING PERSONAL ADS!

 

[morninggirl5]

UH, so if the personal ad doesn't mention fucking it's acceptable?

 

[cymbidia]

You know, i'm not sure y'all are taking this whole thing very seriously!

 

[cellis]

As Himself says, You are the alpha sub, be nice to be beta subs or they might not want to play....

 

[Merelan]

Can we make a rule about not running out of coffee?

No? I think it's an important facet of my continuing relationships.

If not. Then how about...

Regarding personal ads:

There is a forum here at literotica just for such things. Yes, we all know it doesn't seem wholey dedicated to truly helping you find that person, or persons of your dreams. But that's what it is for. If someone is looking, that's where they start.
Not on the general board, or the role playing, or even here in the bdsm forum. It's clearly marked and if you state in your ad what type of person you are looking for, you might be surprised at the responses. Take your time writing your ad, get creative.

Then again. This is a general erotic board. Not one whose sole purpose is to connect those wanting bdsm experience. So perhaps an ad placed at alt.com (I honestly am not sure of the site) would be more effective.
If you wonder about it's results, or have questions about how and who to trust. Do a search on this forum for the link. There have been several people here who have talked about their experiences on it.

Okay, that's what you guys get when I run out of coffee, but I think you get the picture. Not slamming them, but guiding them to the right place for such things.

 

[Merelan]

Here's another thought... I found a little tiny bit of coffee, so this could be better.

Regarding pm's and personal information

We all like to see a little note, telling us they liked a thread, a link, a picture, or even just a post we did. But unless you are in a flirting type of relationship, don't pm us for private information. In fact, never ask us. If we want to tell, we will. And don't get upset when we politely answer it isn't any of your business. This also means you must never, ever post private information, if it is not your own. That is wrong and will get your post banned and you shunned, at least by me. If someone trusted you with it, you should hold it twice as dear as if it were your own.
If you want to post your own be aware we, and this includes Laurel and Manu, are not to be held responsible for anything that
happens to you or yours. And again, if the moderators feel it is not safe, or perhaps too personal, they can and will ban it too.
That's for your own safety people. There are wierdo's and freaks and pervs out here in the internet, yes, even here at Lit.

On the other hand, if you need advice about something, and it seems too personal, or to embarassing to use your registered
name. Use another, or unregistered, and state why in the beginning so we know you aren't a troll. There have been a couple
times a regular (is there such a thing?) Lit member has done this and forgotten to mention why they were using unregistered, it got them slammed as a troll digging for sympathy. Unfortunately we get them around here. But I feel, if you are honest in stating why, and then go on to your question, you should be accepted here, at least here in the bdsm forum, where things can get
personal quickly.

I know this isn't in any kind of order, but they are a few things I think you could add to your leave your shoes at the door thread. Besides the hint, strong one, about washing their feet first.

 

[MissTaken]

Rule # 862-42

If you empty the sugar bowl, fill it!


Seriously:

Rule #1: At bondage.com, in their forum description they state "No personal ads, please." I think that is the best route to go with that one. Some will never read a sticky thread about expectations.....

Rule #2: We treat one another with respect and courtesy on this forum. Then....refer to Merelan's comments concerning pm's.

Rule #3: Again, respect and courtesy. While we are open to new ideas and opinions, flaming and derrogatory posts will not be tolerated. That is not to say that if someone wants to post a serious debate topic that questions lifestyler's motivations or kinks it should be deleted. I am suggesting that we need to everything we can to encourage open mindedness and free speech with respect and courtesy.

Of course, this hasn't really been a problem and hopefully, won't be.

Rule #4: All new posters must bind Miss T and demonstrate their favorite kink.

Oops....that just slipped in.

 

[Merelan]

Can us old timers follow that last rule also?????

How about a rule that we have weekly demos and classes?

 

[cellis]

Hmmm...

I am really not much good at making rules or following them...

So if you make them, just tell me what they are and I will do my best not to break them...

Oh, did I hear some one say something about flogging if the rules are broken????

Seriously, I think respect is the key here. Respect the forum and the people who participate in it....

 

[MissTaken]

The issue of making "rules" is a delicate one. Once we start laying out expectations, we need to be cautious that we don't appear to be a bunch of tight ass, insular folks who appear daunting to newbies.

 

[Merelan]

But i do have a tight ass.....

oh, not that way?
blushing....

 

[MissTaken]

But i do have a tight ass.....

oh, not that way?
blushing....

My God! You are sassy this morning!

Perhaps that tight bottom needs to a spank!

 

[BlondGirl]

I am not sure I understand why more rules need to be written. It does not seem that there has been a recent increase in volume of creep-olas to warrant this. There will always be some that dig their way out of the woodwork but overall, we don't seem to have a problem with it.

(To summarize, why is any change suggested if what is already here works so well?)

And a couple of suggestions...
If a new rule list is posted, make each one short and to the point. Reasons are not necessary. 1 line is best, 2 okay, and 3 is pushing it. 4 won't be read by most, especially if there are several to read. It is like a resume--no body wants to spend a lot of time reading yours except you and possibly your mother and dearest friends.)

If you create a thread where everyone's participation is desired, please state that in the title (ie "Rules for the board, everyone participate please"). Be direct. Chit-chatty thread titles like this one are usually ignored by me. I just happen to have extra time to kill this morning so I clicked on this one for the hell of it. Lo-and-behold, there is some substance beyond the chit-chat here after all.

Keep in mind, these are just my suggestions/opinions, for what they are worth.

 

[SpectreT]

I'm with the ones in the "do we really need a lawbook?" category. We have a pretty common standard of behavior here, and new voices learn them pretty quick, after three or four of us dog-pile on them for being excessively rude, tactless, childish, or egregiously fulla shit. The swift justice of one's peers, convened in an instant jury, seems to be the way we've handled miscreants in the past. In short, if we find a jackass with no manners, we already know how to deal with them. Do we need to codify it and post it on the wall?

I don't think so, but that's just my opinion

 

[MissTaken]

Are you winking at me, T?

 

[petrel]

From that thread with the long-ass name:

Okay, guys.

Let's write ourselves a permanent sticky welcoming all new people and letting them know what kind of a place this is and what we need from them in terms of behavior.

1. Someone, let's just say petrel, posts something all written out about using SEARCH to find info about past topics.

okay well I would If I had figured it out myself!!!
seriuosly though for the first one - re personal ads how about this for wording:

1 The BDSM forum is a general community forum - personal ads are innapropriate here and we do not welcome them. Any Personals posted will be deleted.

and here are some more;

2 Respect other peoples kinks, this is a safe place not a place to discuss the validity of the BDSM lifestyle.

3 Register - we are all wary of 'unregistered' posters

4 No racist, sexist or other derogatory remarks please

5 Don't indulge in 'roleplay' in public threads - if you get along with someone and want to take it futher do it via PMs

6 Always be polite when you send a first PM, its fine to send a brief note saying you like someones post/thought/idea but please don't get too personal

7 Don't ask for or give out personal information - especially address and phone numbers

8 Try and read at least some of the Mother thread before posting

9 Play nice kiddies and you might just get a spanking!!

SpectreT and others I see the point of the 'no rulebook' but how about titling the sticky - 'guidelines for the forum' or 'Info for Newbies'.
Personally I'd love to have one up on every forum. I was a member of a forum and got flamed for breaking one of the rules/guidelines of the place becasue the thread holding the info was buried under all the more interesting stuff.


anyway thats my contribution for this afternoon and now I need more sleep!!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

Rules:

1. No spam
2. No posting of another's personal information
3. No threats
4. No personal ads

Any post breaking this rules will be removed.

Guidelines:

1. Please be nice to each other.
2. We do not discuss the issues and implications of the word 'nilla' on this forum. We realize that outside of the BDSM community it can be construed as insulting, but inside the BDSM community it is part of our jargon.
3. Please read all of KillerMuffin's fine stories.
4. Put whatever you want here.


Why do it this way? 3 of the rules are Lit rules. 1 is forum specific. You can state these rules and the consequences of breaking these rules right away. Guidelines are more for how to enjoy the forum. You have no consquences for guidlines.

 

[Guru]

 

[AnonymousSlave]

my shoes are at the door and while i was there i polished yours


Personal note... i think it's rather sad that we actually feel the need to remind people to be nice and to use proper etiquette. Their mama should have taught them that, not us. But that is apparently neither here nor there... if we must post rules i agree that we should also post the consequences for breaking those rules. i say we use a 'take no prisoners' approach!

Rule 1 - Personal ads will not be tolerated. Any and all personal ads posted will be deleted.

Rule 2 - Personal information (be it yours or that of someone else) is not permitted. Any and all posts containing any personal information will be deleted.

Rule 3 - Demeaning and/or degrading language will not be tolerated. Any and all posts using demeaning and/or degrading language will be deleted.

Rule 4 - If you do not have an open mind and an open heart you may leave this forum at any time.

Rule 5 - If you've come here to learn, to understand, to question, to laugh, to enjoy the lifestyle that you have chosen we're here for you. However, since we are a society of people who first and foremost trust, respect, and tolerate others if you are disrespectful of us or the lifestyle that we have chosen, consider this fair warning that your posts are subject to deletion.


Ok now i'm gonna take a deep breath... and move on to the next thread.

 

[petrel]

Re: my shoes are at the door and while i was there i polished yours

Rule 4 - If you do not have an open mind and an open heart you may leave this forum at any time.

Rule 5 - If you've come here to learn, to understand, to question, to laugh, to enjoy the lifestyle that you have chosen we're here for you. However, since we are a society of people who first and foremost trust, respect, and tolerate others if you are disrespectful of us or the lifestyle that we have chosen, consider this fair warning that your posts are subject to deletion.


Ok now i'm gonna take a deep breath... and move on to the next thread.

I like these last two (and the wording of the others) but these two stand out for summing up how I feel about this place.

 

[SpectreT]

The First Rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club.
The Second Rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club!