Please Help!!!

[KinkyKiki]

Ok everyone I could REALLY use some advice and suggestions. I've gotten some amazing feedback on my "A First For Us Both" series. I'm hoping to bring it to a conclusion in a few more chapters, but I've hit a point where I'm not sure where to go. A few readers have given me suggestions before and they've turned out great, but now i don't know where to take it. Please hlep me if you can. Here's a link to the latest chapter.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=51809

I would appreciate any and all suggestions and opinions you have whatever they are. Thank you all and I look forward to hearing your opinions.

KinkyKiki

 

[Guest]

All obsticals have been clear-cut

I'm not surprised that you feel you're written into a corner. One of the things that make erotica so hot is not that we can just jump into bed with whomever we want whenever we feel like it, but that we can't -- there are obstacles that keep us from jumping in bed. As in any story, it is the obstical that the protagonist must overcome that makes the story hot. In terms of incest stories, the social taboo of incest has got to be one of the biggest obsticals of jumping in bed.

So, here you are at chapter 6. They have "complete freedom, Matt and Julie could be as wild as they wished and no one ever knew the difference. . . .every waking moment they weren't studying they seemed to be making love in every possible position and place they could think of." and towards the end when their mother and father walked in and said: "It's okay kids........we know."

LOL

You have cleared the path for Matt and Julie. It's all now wide open. They can jump in bed with one another any time they want. There isn't one obstacles to overcome anywhere on the horizon and now the story seems a little . . . . flat? No wonder!

I think the story is over. I think chapter 6 was it. Just how many chapters were you hoping to write, anyway?

If you are hell bent on writing about Matt and Julie until they are in their 80's, what you have to do is create more obstacles. How do you do that? It's not going to be easy since you have clear-cut every foreseeable horizon. Maybe Matt and Julie get into legal problems and have to be broken up, or maybe Julie is seduced by another man and she is torn between her love for her brother and this new man -- that sort of thing.

The technical part is well done, you don't need any help there. I give the story a vote of 4. It was hot, well written but not exactly my cup of tea.

Good luck

Bodacious Tease

PS I don;t know why it posts as unregistered

 

[bill009]

STORY

HI THERE

it was well writen and it was not very long . I think you did very well I hope to see more of your work up on the web

 

[ANiceGuy]

All I can say is.....

All I can say is keep doing what you are doing. It's working for me. I like your story very much. Of course seeing the stories I write you can understand I'm sure

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=2056

Write form your heart and let soul have it's say. You seem to have got that down already. When I get stuck extending a story line I write a story in another direction and come back to the original story later. Some times it takes me a month to wrte a story and sometimes one night.

I'm glad you only have 6 chapters finished right now. I only have enough Puffs tissues to clean up my mess as long as it will take me to read the 6 chapters (again). I'd have to go get dressed and buy some more Puffs if you had 7 chapters!!!

ANiceGuy