Please check my grammar 2

Che80

Virgin
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Posts
9
Hi, (Kbate special hi :) ) can't you review and edit my promo text. I know it's full of grammar mistakes:

---------------------------------

Meet cute Alice, she is eighteen and only 5 feets 4 inches height. Her tiny shape is perfect. Pay attention to her well-groomed diminutive feet, silk hands, prominent nipples on her firm breasts and little ass. Yes, while you are not at home she thoroughly looks after her body, takes care of her delicate skin and splendid hair to appear before you in the most seductive form.

Look at her wardrobe. It's full of gloves, blouses, breeches, elegant shoes and boots. Alice is a good judge of clothing, she can be both playful girl and business lady for you. She adores pretty underwear and we can't say no to her. Ask her to try on lace up pants with ducks, or classic bikini, or mini strings - she'll do it for you with a pleasure. Number of her socks and stocking are out of control. Bras, swimsuits, corsets, sexy collars - all this she prepares for you.

Hundreds of things and nundreds of characters are not all. She likes to experiment and with our cloth color picking system with up to 16 millions of colors nudreds turns into thousands

Alice is not Alice if she don't spend hours in fashionable beauty shop. Her personal barber from Italy Clar makes wonders. Love blondes with short hairs - there is nothing impossible. Feel nostalgia for disco times - she'll make it for you.

"That's interesting" - says an attentive listener, "But what is about the main?" Alice is young and inexperienced and she now plays more with herself and her silicone toy. But the choice is yours. Look at these two stallions with huge 12 inches cocks. Be very careful with her cute pussy, tiny anus, don't force here to swallow deep.

What sex do you like? Soft petting and care about partner? Or hard and forceful work, piercing her tenderness tiny body with your cock is yours? Your wish, your choice.

Do you like to dominate and depress? Whant to make cum buth for Alice? We make several surprises specially to slake your thirst. But always think about partner's safety.

Our girl lives in beautiful apartments. Here you can find bedroom in classical style, japan room, hotel interiors.
 
Che80 said:
Hi, (Kbate special hi :) ) can't you review and edit my promo text. I know it's full of grammar mistakes:

---------------------------------

Meet cute Alice, she is eighteen and only 5 feets 4 inches height. Her tiny shape is perfect. Pay attention to her well-groomed diminutive feet, silk hands, prominent nipples on her firm breasts and little ass. Yes, while you are not at home she thoroughly looks after her body, takes care of her delicate skin and splendid hair to appear before you in the most seductive form.

Look at her wardrobe. It's full of gloves, blouses, breeches, elegant shoes and boots. Alice is a good judge of clothing, she can be both playful girl and business lady for you. She adores pretty underwear and we can't say no to her. Ask her to try on lace up pants with ducks, or classic bikini, or mini strings - she'll do it for you with a pleasure. Number of her socks and stocking are out of control. Bras, swimsuits, corsets, sexy collars - all this she prepares for you.

Hundreds of things and nundreds of characters are not all. She likes to experiment and with our cloth color picking system with up to 16 millions of colors nudreds turns into thousands

Alice is not Alice if she don't spend hours in fashionable beauty shop. Her personal barber from Italy Clar makes wonders. Love blondes with short hairs - there is nothing impossible. Feel nostalgia for disco times - she'll make it for you.

"That's interesting" - says an attentive listener, "But what is about the main?" Alice is young and inexperienced and she now plays more with herself and her silicone toy. But the choice is yours. Look at these two stallions with huge 12 inches cocks. Be very careful with her cute pussy, tiny anus, don't force here to swallow deep.

What sex do you like? Soft petting and care about partner? Or hard and forceful work, piercing her tenderness tiny body with your cock is yours? Your wish, your choice.

Do you like to dominate and depress? Whant to make cum buth for Alice? We make several surprises specially to slake your thirst. But always think about partner's safety.

Our girl lives in beautiful apartments. Here you can find bedroom in classical style, japan room, hotel interiors.


If you are still in need of an editor I can help you. Send your story to me at angel_love_53. I am a volunteer editor here on Lit.
 
Angel Love - still need it but all my story is here :) That's promo text from my site
 
Che80 said:
Angel Love - still need it but all my story is here :) That's promo text from my site


Are you actually telling me that this is the ENTIRE story? Where is the storyline? I think there must be a miscommunication here . . .
 
The questions:

Are you advertising the hot little asian girl?
or the fancy hotel room with Japanese flavour -
or the clothing colour picking system.
or the wonderful hairstylist.

I cannot tell which product is for sale.

This requires a lot of work if it is meant to be advertising copy.
 
Che80 said:
that's the product for sale [/url]
come on, if somebody interesting make correction for me, and get free access.

I do not believe I wish to perform free editing for a commercial website. Access to the site is of no interest to me and this definitely falls well outside the "Lit Volunteer Editor" program.

Copywriters are available for various fees on a thousand other sites. I worked on the previous thread, because I thought it was to be posted on Lit as an article. Had I known we were being used as free labour to support a non-Lit related matter, I would not have helped.

Good Luck, perhaps another editor will help you with this.
 
Shame on them

Yeah, I'm in kbate's corner. Okay, so a 9.8 is "frolicking" with a confessed 9.6 (shudder). The "literal" other side of the tracks.

I respect and admire kbate's tenacious regard for rules and policy. She is one of the watchdogs that are tenaciously defending the integrity of this site and is one of many ensuring it remains so.

Seriously, hats off. I admire her precision-like skills. If it weren't for her and the determinaion of others we'd be wondering why we are not allowed to express our ideas because the site was taken away.
 
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