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sarah12556

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Mar 22, 2011
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86
Shannon had just come back from her freshman year at college a little bit mystified about boys. She had enjoyed herself and her new freedom, but was apprehensive about her relationships with boys. Sure she had kissed a few at parties, but she was frustrated with the way she always seemed to back off when they showed interest. And boy did they show interest. Shannon was stunning. She had a gorgeous face with brown eyes and straight brown hair. She’d always dressed conservatively, preferring sweatshirts and shorts to anything scandalous. This was unfortunate for all the men on her college campus, as Shannon possessed a sexy, slim but curvy body. She had a natural bronze color to her skin and was blessed with a firm, perky chest with beautiful round breasts and a firm ass and toned legs from her high school days playing soccer. The boys often stared at her, even her professors as they all noticed her cute natural beauty and saw glimpses of her perfect young body.

Driving back home after he first year, she decided that if she really wanted to have a boyfriend it was time to make a change. She had to become more daring, and step outside her boundaries. She knew this would be hard; to change her quiet personality, but it was something she knew needed to be done. And she knew right where to start. Her friends had always made fun of her for her conservative dress and urged her to dress up more often. She thought if she really wanted to get their attention she had to show off her body. She knew she was in shape and had cleavage the boys would love to see, but finally she thought it was time to show it off.

That night, her sister’s best friend Chrissy Brooks who came from a family that was also close family friends, was having her high school graduation party. It started a few hours and after she got home and Shannon knew it should it would be her first time taking some chances. Who cares if her parents were there she thought to herself. It was time for them and everyone to realize that she was becoming an adult and wanted to dress like one.

She called her best friend Lindsay, who she knew would have the perfect sexy outfit. She knew it couldn’t be too risqué with her parents their but still wanted something she would feel sexy in. Leave it to Lindsay to have it, she came over with a small tight red dress that hugged Shannon’s curves and was low cut to show off her breasts. She matched that with heels with white lace that wrapped around the ankle.

As she entered the party, she already felt a difference. Immediately, every guy’s eyes seemed to be on her. And she could feel it as she walked around and saw those she knew. Some were probably trying to be subtle, but some couldn’t be more obvious. And the most obvious was definitely Chrissie’s dad Mr. Brooks. Every time Shannon turned around his eyes would be focused right on her. Shannon wasn’t used to this but decided she liked it. After all, Mr. Brooks was very attractive in a George Clooney way, with specks of gray in his neatly manicured hair. Shannon had been impressed by his body after seeing him at a beach outing the year before, so she was interested to see just how much she could tease.
Shannon decided to walk over to him and leaned over the counter as Mr. Brooks spoke with another man at the party. She could see him take a few small glances in her direction before openly stopping to stare. As if on cue, Shannon pretended to drop a piece of celery on the floor and slowly bent to pick it up letting Mr. Brooks soak up her entire body. As she walked away she knew his eyes had to be all over her.
But she wasn’t finished. A few minutes later as Mr. Brooks continued to engage in conversation, Shannon walked by just to see what he was up to. She slowly sauntered when she got near him and was amazed when she felt his hand slide to her ass. She was surprised and shocked and kept walking but turned around a few steps after only to see him wink. With a cool maneuver, Mr. Brooks escaped his current conversation and walked to Shannon and asked if she could help bring down some more chairs from upstairs.
Shannon was confused. The ass pat, and the wink said one thing, but he seemed so earnest in his request. “Is this what he really wants?” she wondered. But she liked the attention she was getting and it was making her excited to figure out what he really wanted. She was getting anxious just thinking of how badly he must want her.
Shannon obeyed and followed Mr. Brooks upstairs as he walked directly into the master bedroom. She stopped in the doorway a bit nervous about what was going on. “Come in” Mr. Brooks said, “I know you want to”
Shannon didn’t know what to do. A minute ago she was playfully flirty from across the dining room and all of a sudden Mr. Brooks was making some pretty provocative comments. Not knowing what else to do, she did as he said and walked into the room and neared him as he sat on the bed.
Mr. Brooks took his hands and immediately rested them on Shannon’s breasts. “Come closer” he directed her. She did as he said and felt his hands run all the way down her body to her tanned and toned calves and ankles.
“I want you to dance for me” Mr. Brooks instructed. “I’m sure it will come naturally to you just dance for me and get close”
Shannon again was confronted with hesitation but was also extremely excited by the proposition. She could feel her pussy moisten and her breathing quicken as she slowly stepped forward and straddled his legs.
Mr. Brooks’s hands cupped Shannon’s firm ass and gently pulled her closer as she leaned forward. Shannon was slowly gaining confidence and leaned forward till her cleavage brushed up against his face. She then stood up to survey the situation. She knew this wrong and something she shouldn’t be doing. Not only were her parents and 70 some odd other people downstairs including Mr. Brooks wife and family, but it was Mr. Brooks who was at least 25 years older.
As all those thoughts ran through her head, she couldn’t stop. She again stepped closer and arched her back so Mr. Brooks could watch as she pressed her boobs up against his chest and kept them pressed as she made her way down his stomach. She could tell he liked it. He was locked in to her, trying to feel her as much as he could.
“Turn around” he instructed. She walked back and turned around slowly. For the first time, she felt sexy and wanted and she loved that feeling. Shannon eased her way closer to Mr. Brooks and gently sat on his lap. She couldn’t help but notice the hard cock that was protruding from his dress pants. She put her hands on her knees and rocked her ass in a circle right over his crotch. She heard him let out a deep moan and felt his hands slide up her dress to show her rounded ass cheeks and the small black thong that went between them. He gave them a little grab and she then leaned back. She was in full control now. Doing everything she wanted and loving his reactions. As she leaned back and arched her back she put her head back behind his shoulder so he could see down her tight dress as she continued to grind on his hard member.
With a sexy look of possession, she stood back up and put her knees on each side of Mr. Brooks. As her firm breasts were pushing out of the tight dress she sat back down on her heels so she was eye to eye with Mr. Brooks. She couldn’t contain herself. She had never been so turned on and lunged in to kiss Mr. Brooks. Their lips locked with intense desire as her tongue swirled around his. His hands reached down under her dress to feel the soft smooth skin of her bare ass. They continued to make out as she grinded upon him. As he moved his head back to take a breath Shannon used that moment to slide down to her knees on the floor. She nestled her head in his crotch and began to lick his hard cock through his pants. Mr. Brooks gently moved her head away and unbuttoned his dress pants to release his hard cock. She was amazed and immediately went to work licking and sucking like it was the lollipop of her dreams. Mr. Brooks put his hand through his hair and thought about how gorgeous she looked on her knees with her lips surrounding his head. He began to moan as she continued to work for his pleasure. As she could feel him about to cum she stood up and lay down next to him on the bed.
Right here. She said pointing to the top of her cleavage and indicating where she wanted him to release. He got next to her with one hand propping him up and the other flying up and down his hard shaft. He moaned loudly as he squirted white cum all over her dress and cleavage. Huge loads that Shannon didn’t even know existed.
Mr. Brooks, exhausted, fell into the bed.
To be continued



please edit and provide feedback. thanks soo much!!
 
sarah,

This board is for providing feedback for stories already posted to Literotica. It's not for editing, or proofing, or things like that. It'd be better if you wrote your story -- perhaps with the aid of an editor and/or beta reader -- then posted, then posted here with a link to the story.
 
PennLady is absolutely right...

This is not the forum; however, I quickly scanned your story and have a few suggestions.

One, I saw very little dialogue and what I did see was very short and abrupt. It is my personal belief that a good story is better with lively dialogue, written casually, the way people actually speak. Also, it appears you have two people talking to one another with-in the same paragraph. That's a no, no. A new paragraph is formed whenever a different person speaks.

It also looks like your paragraphs are way too long. Keep them short, it is much easier to read that way.

There are all kinds of websites designed to help and instruct newbie writers. I would suggest studying some, then trying again. Only next time, submit the story through regular channels and wait for the feedback.
 
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