Plastic Love

[Angeline]

is the title of Lauren Hynde's new story, and it's killer good! Yeah yeah--I know it's not poetry, but it's a wonderful satire and funny enough to make you laugh out loud. I tell you if I didn't love that woman so much I'd hate her for having such talent.

Read it, vote, and leave her some feedback. She does so much for this forum--here's a chance to see another facet of her considerable writing gift.

you Lauren babes


Plastic Love

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Bitch. LOL

Thanks for the free publicity, Ange.

 

[Angeline]

Bitch. LOL

Thanks for the free publicity, Ange.

Sheesh. I tell you I love you and you call me a bitch?

(Oh. I forgot. I called you one in my public comment on the story, lol.)

 

[WickedEve]

Plastic Love? Please tell me that this is a Rowdy Ted story!

I'll read it soon. Really soon. I better go look at it now before I forget.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Sorry, Rowdy isn't involved in any way, or I would have had to pay you royalties

 

[Angeline]

Sorry, Rowdy isn't involved in any way, or I would have had to pay you royalties

That all depends on who Ted belongs to, lol. I can't remember anymore.

 

[WickedEve]

That all depends on who Ted belongs to, lol. I can't remember anymore.

I don't remember either! How did Ted come to be?

I just finished reading plastic love. That story is going to stick with me for a very, very long time.

 

[Angeline]

I don't remember either! How did Ted come to be?

I just finished reading plastic love. That story is going to stick with me for a very, very long time.

um. if you recall he was named after one of my undgergrad literature professors on whom I had a major crush, but it was unrequited for various reason, the main one being I was the wrong gender for him....

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Heathens. Rowdy Ted was named by Eve for whatever depraved reasons she had; only a posteriori did Angeline notice it was also the name of her former professor, which kind of freaked her out (but not really).

 

[Angeline]

Heathens. Rowdy Ted was named by Eve for whatever depraved reasons she had; only a posteriori did Angeline notice it was also the name of her former professor, which kind of freaked her out (but not really).

Oh. That's right.

Well that thing is forever associated in my mind with my prof.

Anyway if you recall, it was the first AND last time I led one of those group writing thingies. It got totally out of hand...out of something.

 

[WickedEve]

Heathens. Rowdy Ted was named by Eve for whatever depraved reasons she had; only a posteriori did Angeline notice it was also the name of her former professor, which kind of freaked her out (but not really).

I don't remember. Rowdy Ted has been with us for so long... lol

 

[Angeline]

I don't remember. Rowdy Ted has been with us for so long... lol

He'll never die. He's a vampire, I'm sure. He always comes back.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Ahem. He has nothing to do with my story, though.

 

[Angeline]

Ahem. He has nothing to do with my story, though.

We're bumping the damn thread woman. What more do you want?

Ok. Now I'm late. lol.

bye.

 

[WickedEve]

AHA!

I found first mention of Rowdy Ted. It's from Sept. 2002

Angeline:

It's Triolet Time!
By God you're right Eve! It is my turn. And I've procrastinated, I know, although I would like to say in my defense that I have two children starting school on Wednesday. How Gap Kids can charge 22 bucks for a teeny little pair of blue jeans is beyond me, and I don't care how many kids' mothers are letting their children buy shoes with retractable roller skates, I think plain old Keds are just fine, thank you very much!

Oh. You're not my kids? I'm not at the mall anymore? (Putting steaming credit card away.) Oh you're grownups? This is the Pretty Please thread?

OK. Lemme just um take this Prozac and ...... (Eve, go back and reread. This is your future.)

Smiling brightly. Hi.

After various requests for something "fun and easy" for this iteration of "the game," I came up with the triolet. (And speaking as the person who not only posted too late on the last one, but also couldn't get all the rules straight after various tries--and thanks for pointing that out, Rybka--this looks fun.)

Triolet

If you're unfamiliar with the form, it comes from the French courtly tradition (circa 13th c.) and is similar to the Rondeau (think "row, row, row your boat"). Triolets are generally light-hearted, even whimsical, but don't have to be.

The triolet has 8 lines, but because there are some repetitions, you actually end up writing 5 unique lines. I have made an executive decision not to require a specific meter, but lines should be of similar length (no wild variences, please).

Here's how it works:

Rhyme Scheme: ABAAABAB

Line 1 begins with an observation
A I didn’t get this done on time

Line 2 builds on it
B And poor Eve had to chase me down

Line 3 continues the explication and rhymes with line 1
A And make me focus, choose a rhyme

Line 4 is a repeat of line 1
A I didn’t get this done on time

Line 5 introduces a new idea and rhymes with line 1
A Tis true that I commit no crime

Line 6 builds on the idea in line five and rhymes with line 2
B But playing the evasive clown

Line 7 is a repeat of line 1
A I didn’t get this done on time

Line 8 is a repeat of line 2
B And poor Eve had to chase me down

Thus we get the immortal procrastination triolet

Angeline's Regret

I didn’t get this done on time
And poor Eve had to chase me down
And make me focus, choose a rhyme
I didn’t get this done on time
Tis true that I commit no crime
But playing the evasive clown
I didn’t get this done on time
And poor Eve had to chase me down

Kinda fun, huh?

Now, how do we make this more interesting for a group poem? We shall make this a story. A mystery! Eve, this one's for you. You give a lot. (And when you see how I thank you, you may never ask me to do this again!)

I shall begin. This ends when it ends. Let's have fun and see how creative we can be!


The Purloined Playmate (or Eve's Stolen Dildo)

Eve's dildo is named Rowdy Ted
Her favored "boy" so thick so strong
Who lives sequestered by the bed
Eve's dildo is named Rowdy Ted
When powered up when glowing red
Abuzz he whirs lidbido's song
Eve's dildo is named Rowdy Ted
Her favored "boy" so thick so strong


(Eve, I really hope your sense of humor is as good as I think it is!)

 

[WickedEve]

In light of this proof: Angeline is the momma of Rowdy Ted--my Plastic Love Boyfriend. Speaking of Plastic Love, read Lauren's story, and then go buy a dildo, then read her story again.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

The story has received fifty-two votes so far, most of them 5s and 1s. I calculate that if the next seventy-five people vote 5, there's a chance the story could get an H.

 

[The Mutt]

Once I had a plastic love,
she never once said no.
One night I bit her on the bum,
she flew right out the window!

 

[Angeline]

Once I had a plastic love,
she never once said no.
One night I bit her on the bum,
she flew right out the window!

wooooooooooosh!

lol

 

[BlueskyBeauty]

best thing about plastic love, the only dirty laundry you're washing is your own!