Pissy Alert !!!!!!!!!

[T.H. Oughts]

OK, I'm in a pissy mood tonight. I just had a shitty last 4 hours when there was no real need to, if a person had only listened to me !!!!!!!!!

So if you have chocolate hand it over please. Or if you have a way of making me smile then do it!!!!!!

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Fine stuffing buch of people you are... can't even tell me a chicken that crossed the road joke.....

Bring me an asshole I want to beat the shit out of it right now.... no don't bother there is one sitting out in my lounge right now!!!!!!!!!

 

[superlittlegirl]

how about a nice cup of tea...

and I'll brush your hair for you? It always makes me feel floaty when someone does that for me. (And god, I'd love to run my fingers through that hair of yours, but this is purely selfless of me, let me assure you!)

I have an unpoened box of Godiva truffles just for you, too......

Freya

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Re: how about a nice cup of tea...

Freya darlin tell me you will include a strapon in your entertainment of me and life will be worth living again.

 

[Liontamr]

*hands you a few two bite brownies*

*offers you a beer*

Did I ever tell you what the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

The Rooster clucks.

*nods*

Think about it for a second.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Thanks Liontamr for the beer and cookies

Umm maybe you better explain the joke....

 

[Liontamr]

Aww damnit you don't get it either??

Shit, I was told it this morning.. Everyone else cracked up.. I remain lost.

I don't feel so bad now though.

 

[superlittlegirl]

your humble servant

Ask and so it shall be done. Do you want me to bring any other toys in specific? Just let me know.....

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Re: your humble servant

Ask and so it shall be done. Do you want me to bring any other toys in specific? Just let me know.....

Yeah, drop by Canada on your way over and bring my Maple Man with you please.

 

[zetacon4]

They both fuck the chicks, only the rooster clucks!!!!

 

[Liontamr]

They both fuck the chicks, only the rooster clucks!!!!

Then why would a lawyer be in the joke? Why not say a Rock Star and a Rooster?

*shrugs*

 

[kiwiwolf]

Jump on the blower TH... give me a bell my little prune danish...

 

[T.H. Oughts]

They both fuck the chicks, only the rooster clucks!!!!

Nope, call me slow but I still don't get it, lol

 

[sch00lteacher]

Cheer up please!

http://www.bertc.com/images/chickencross5.jpg


Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.

Alvin Toffler:
Because the chicken was suffering from future
shock.(Barbara Llorente)

Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take

John Locke:
Because it was exercising its natural right to liberty.

Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the
chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Howard Cosell:
It may very well have been one of the most
astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An
historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity
to attempt such an Herculean achievement formerly
relegated to homo sapiens pedestrians is truly a
remarkable occurrence.

John F. Kennedy
Er ist ein Roadcrosser

Salvador Dali:

The Fish.

The Bible:
God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
Chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.

Oliver Stone
It was a government conspiracy.
(Barbara Llorente)

Sirs William Gilbert and
Arthur Sullivan:
To verify through measurement and research
explorational, Asserted widths and properties of
highways transportational. And thus through brain and
intellect did prove itself, this animal, To be the very
model of a modern chicken-general.

E.O. Wilson:
Under the influence of a road-crossing gene, selected
because it conferred a survival advantage in the
chicken's ancestral line. We could conjecture, for
example, that crossing roads represents the transfer
of a behavioral trait whereby some chickens sought to
distance themselves from rivals, thereby
distinguishing them in the eyes of potential mates and
increasing their reproductive potential.

Sir Edmund Hillary:
Because it was there.
Mark Twain:

The news of its crossing has been greatly
exaggerated.

Sigmund Freud:
As an expression of the repressed desire to have sex
with its mother. The road symbolizes the barrier
presented by the cultural taboo.

Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously
brought such occurrences into being.

Johnny Cochran:
The chicken didn't cross the road. Some
chicken-hating, genocidal, lying public official moved
the road right under the chicken's feet while he was
practicing his golf swing and thinking about his family.

Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the
trees.

John Wayne:
'Cause a chicken's gotta do what a chicken's gotta do.

Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did not cross the road. This isn't about roads
and chickens. I don't think you quite understand that
what you believe I may have meant isn't what you
think I said.

F. Lee Bailey:
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the
same time and who did we overlook in our haste to
observe the chicken crossing?"

Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this
chicken doing walking around all over the place
anyway?"

Machiavelli:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a
chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly
cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among
them has the strength to contend with such a paragon
of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely
chicken's dominion maintained.

Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample
him and keep him down.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
question.

Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken 2002, which will
both cross roads AND balance your checkbook,
though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.

Bill Clinton:
I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations
with that chicken!

Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Perry Mason
I don't know, but I intend to find out. Della, get Paul on
the phone for me. (Becca Love)

Marlin Perkins
While Jim wrestles the chicken across the road I'll be
taking a nap here in the tent. (Blackbeard)

Stevie Wonder
Chicken, what chicken? (Becca Love)

George Orwell:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking
that he was crossing the road of his own free will,
when he was really only serving their interests.

Aristotle:
Because one chicken cannot be more chicken than
another.

Nietzsche:
The chicken crossed the road, but it will take time for
the consequences of the chicken's actions to be felt
by the common chicken.(Barbara Llorente)

Jean Chrétien
Da chicken crossed da road because 'e 'ad da plan.
(Bert Christensen)

Former President George
Bush
To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of
headlights.

Current President George
W. Bush
It will be a long crossing that is for sure, and we ask
all pedestrians and automobiles for their patience as it
crosses the road. But make no mistake about it, it
WILL cross the road! It will prevail!

Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of
reference.

Emily Dickenson:
Because it could not stop for death.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

The Jihad:
The chicken crossed the road hoping for
martyrdom.(Barbara Llorente)

Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.

Adolph Hitler:
To purify the chicken race.

Joseph Stalin:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my
omelette.

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did she cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road.
But why she crossed, I've not been told!

O.J. Simpson
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Osama bin Laden
To strike at the heart of the infidels. Praise be to
Allah!

Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?

Buddha:
Therefore, on the road there is no chicken, no road,
nor perception of the road, nor impulse to cross it, nor
consciousness of the road, no feathers, no beak, no
clawed feet, no chicken. No road no chicken no
crossing... only the great prajnaparamita of the empty
form of chicken and the empty form of the road, and
that emptiness; gone, gone, gone beyond, gone
altogether beyond. "But, O Buddha," said Sariputta,
"what is that crossing the road before us at this
moment?" And the great One replied,"A chicken,
Sariputta." "But why, O great One, does it cross the
road?" "To get to the other side, Sariputta." Om.

Arthur O. Andersen
Consultant:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken
was faced with significant challenges to create and
develop the competencies required for the newly
competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a
partnering relationship with the client, helped the
chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy
and implementation processes. Using the Poultry
Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken
use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and
experiences to align the chicken's people, processes
and technology in support of its overall strategy within
a Program Management framework. Andersen
Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of
road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen
consultants with deep skills in the transportation
industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings
in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital,
both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize
with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of
delivering and successfully architecting and
implementing an enterprise-wide value framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median
processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting enabling and creating an impactful
environment which was strategically based,
industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear,
and unified market message and aligned with the
chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was
conducive towards the creation of a total business
integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the
chicken change to become more successful.

But, we will never know because the chicken was
shredded before it reached the other side.
Stockwell Day:
I pray for this chicken, as surely as I pray for all
godless heathens who refuse to share my beliefs in
total. And I am not saying this because I am a
sanctimonious prig, but because I surely believe that
yeah, although the chicken has crossed the Road of
Death, he is still in danger of falling into the Frying
Pan of Hell if he does not cross back to the good, the
moral, the Right side of the road -- mine.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Jump on the blower TH... give me a bell my little prune danish...

I would sweetie but assholes have ears and they don't need to hear what I am thinking right now

Thanks buddy

 

[superlittlegirl]

I'll swing by the Maple Man's house

and then go pick up my Canadian boy-thing, too. We'll make it a foursome. He's really gorgeous, plus he doesn't come until I tell him to. D'you think that would be okay?

It would even meet AmishPope's exacting standards.....

 

[kiwiwolf]

I would sweetie but assholes have ears and they don't need to hear what I am thinking right now

Thanks buddy

Yahoo...

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Sir Edmund Hillary:Because it was there.

Thanks Teach, lol

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Re: I'll swing by the Maple Man's house

and then go pick up my Canadian boy-thing, too. We'll make it a foursome. He's really gorgeous, plus he doesn't come until I tell him to. D'you think that would be okay?

I'm sure we could come to some arrangement

 

[superlittlegirl]

actually,

I liked it better when it was just the ladies and the strap-on. Can we revise this fantasy?

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Re: actually,

I liked it better when it was just the ladies and the strap-on. Can we revise this fantasy?

Ok, we will let the guys watch and they can bring iced drinks for our afterglow...

 

[superlittlegirl]

Oh, perfect!

Can we let them feed us grapes and wave palm frond fans, too? I've always wanted to have a couple of nice boys to do that.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

We should not be selfish.... I'm sure they would enjoy some of this..

http://www.baiotta.com/straponmillenium/pics/4.jpg

 

[superlittlegirl]

You are so right.

Isn't it great to fuck the man you lust? No feeling like it in all the world.

Some people send flowers, but Nothing says Love like a dildo in his ass.....

 

[nzwookie]

We should not be selfish.... I'm sure they would enjoy some of this..

http://www.baiotta.com/straponmillenium/pics/4.jpg

Cripes.............I only just got here with the chocolate but after seeing that i think i might run away and hide again>>>>