Pissed??!!

[P. B. Walker]

hola people

I just got this feedback on my newest story:

When a person says, or writes, the words "pissed off," you know they are too lazy to search for better, more evocative words. Also, it shows they have no self-respect, and no respect for their audience.

I used the word a few times in the story, once or twice in describing someone's feelings, and once or twice in dialogue. My question is: Is this true about the word "pissed off"? Did I really make a mistake here? Or does this person that sent me feedback just have a thing about the word "pissed"?

I used it because I felt that the word fit the situation. I appreciate any of your thoughts on this.

Thanks

- PBW

 

[Weird Harold]

and once or twice in dialogue.

People do use the phrase "pissed off" and it's use in dialogue is more than appropriate. It's use by a narrator or is no more inappropriate than any other slang would be.

I think you just triggered sombody's pet peeve, and not a very logical pet peeve at that.

PS: I avoid using "pissed", because it means something different in British idiom than it does in American -- Drunk vs Angry.

 

[P. B. Walker]

WH,

Thanks. I didn't think it was that weird. I immediately thought about the difference between the British and American versions of "pissed", but the way it's used in the story, I didn't think that was it. That is one argument for not using it at all since we have a diverse audience here and it has different means across the world.

Anyhoo.. thanks for the input WH. I don't feel too bad now

- PBW

 

[MysteryWriter]

one more opinion

Right or wrong, when I write dialogue, I write what people actually say. I hear that expression from young and old alike. I personally don't see anything wrong with it as a matter of fact I am pretty pissed at the moment. I don't mean drunk either.

 

[Catesby]

I thought at first, the feedback writer might have thought it was disrespectful of you to use the word "pissed" because it is quite rude, but then I read your stories and saw to my dismay that you use other words such as "prick", "cock", "cunt" and "fuck".

Potty mouth!

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

I remember a friend saying once: "I'm not mad; I'm not
angry; I'm not disturbed; I'm pissed."
The term is fine in dialogue. It's used all the time.
In a description, there is a place for it. As people said,
you apparently pushed someone's hot button.
As I haven't read teh particular story, I can't comment on
the appropriateness in that context.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Yes I tend to agree with everyone about using it in dialogue. If I had only used it in dialogue, I really would not have cared what this person said because I felt it was what the character would have said. But I also used it to describe a characters state of mind. That was where I wasn't so sure if it was proper or not.

Yes, Catesby, I have a big potty mouth LOL.

- PBW

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I also used it to describe a characters state of mind. That was where I wasn't so sure if it was proper or not.

PB&W,

I'm going to play a little devil's advocate. Who ever wrote that critique did you a favor by getting you to think (or re-think) about one element of your story. Whether their point's right or wrong is a decision only you can make.

Now granted, this know-it-all, piss-ant sounds like a pissy, conceited, jerk, with little, if any, future as a diplomat. Still, that poor self-important, pencil-dick, bottom-feeder took the time to give you, a struggling writer, the benefit of what I'm sure s/he regards as a vast, if not all encompassing, knowledge of writing and human nature. So you should be humbly grateful for the input of this no-talent, single digit IQ, ass-hole instead of pissed, right?

For what it's worth, I usually try to keep "colorful" language out of my narrative descriptions so the reader stays focused on the object being describe.

I'm a slow reader and haven't finished your last post, but so far, so good.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[P. B. Walker]

Rumple Foreskin,

You raised a good point when you said you try to keep "colorful" language out of your narratives. That leads me to believe that some people think the word "pissed" is a colorful or dirty word. Is this true? I do not think of this word as a dirty word. Maybe I'm just a dirty boy LOL. I was wondering... do other people think of this word as dirty? Would you refrain from using it in front of certain people (your parents, grandparents, certain adults or authority figures, judges (lol))?

Thanks,

- PBW

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

That leads me to believe that some people think the word "pissed" is a colorful or dirty word. Is this true?

PBW,

At the risk of sounding like the ultimate old fart English teacher, "piss" and its various forms, such as "pissed" and "pisser" are generally considered, by some people such as the staff at Webster's to be, "vulgar slang," which I loosely translate to mean they think it's one of those "dirty" little "four-letter" words such as, "fuck, shit, crap, dick, cock, fart" and my personal all-time favorite, "cunt."

If in doubt (and you give a rat's ass) check out the American Heritage dictionary. It may be a little more open minded on this issue. But I'm not an old fart school teacher and we're not in an English class. In the real world of writing, there's no right or wrong when it comes to using these or any other words. The only question is, IMHO, what word(s) are the best choice for communicating with the reader?

Keep up the good work,

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Weird Harold]

But I also used it to describe a characters state of mind. That was where I wasn't so sure if it was proper or not.

The narrative voice is to some extent a "character" as well, and the whole story could be considered the narrator's "dialogue."


Wouldn't reading get very boring very fast if every narrative voice was an Oxford English PhD?

Using "vulgar slang" or even "Poetic Slang" (or whatever the opposite to "vulgar" slang is.) can give your narrative voice that little bit of difference from everyone else's narrative voice that keeps your reader interested.

(BTW, my favorite "four-letter word" is TITS! -- The one that "doesn't belong on the list" 'cause its such a friendly sounding word.)

 

[P. B. Walker]

Thanks ya'll.

You guys provided good insight which just backed up my beliefs. I just needed that friendly, "you're ok", pat on the back.

I just felt it was very odd for someone to say I was disrespecting my readers and myself for using the word "pissed" LOL. At least I know I'm not crazy now.

Thanks again,

- PBW

 

[MysteryWriter]

i am reminded

what word(s) are the best choice for communicating with the reader?

this reminds me of a story which is true.. it comes from my po-lice days.. yes wanda anohter cop turned writer.. dont tell that by the way.. okay one night five cops surround a man with a gun.. one young cop yells drop the gun mother fucker..
as you might guess a lt. was around and wrote him up. He went before the civilian review board. "Why did you say that?" he was asked.
"Sir, it was the only thing I was sure he would respond to." Case closed..

so yes use what you would hear in a conversation that works for the character you are dealing with. A rhodes scholar might chose a different word but a man on the street as well as my daughter who was 16 used it.

 

[GoddessKaren]

Word Choice

Ok, I'd have to agree with everyone else here. Using "pissed off," for me at least, conveys a very specific state of mind. Not quite angry, but more than simple annoyance.

I had an English teacher in high school whose pet peeve was using "alot" - which is not really a word. It is two words: "a lot." He gave one person in my class an "F" on a paper because he used that non-word. Seems you've found someone's pet peeve. But they need to get over it, since "pissed" is a real word.

 

[karmadog]

"vulgar"

The folks at Webster or wherever probably meant that in the sense "common" or "vernacular". Vulgar doesn't necessarily mean "obscene" or "offensive".

 

[jon.hayworth]

PB
I would not get too hung up on the UK / US difference. We also use pissed for mildly angry, angry, bored. A milder version of "Fuck Off" is "Piss off".

Does this make WH feel pissed off?

However it is a word I would tend to use in dialogue, unless I was using a Narrator's voice to tell the tale. Then of course anything goes providing that it fits the character of the narrator.

jon

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Vulgar is as Vulgar does

Karmadog's last post managed to pull-off a modern-day miracle, by actually getting me to think. The agent for this abnormal event was his observation that:

"The folks at Webster's or wherever probably meant that in the sense "common" or "vernacular". Vulgar doesn't necessarily mean "obscene" or "offensive"."

The idea made sense to me, but inquiring minds want to be certain. Pulling down my old Webster's, I located in the previously untouched, "Using This Dictionary" section, the following soul stirring definition of "vulgar."

"Considered inappropriate in many circumstances because of association with a taboo subject, especially sex and excretory functions."

That would seem to include PB's "pissed off". But what the shit, IMHO, it was still a fucking brilliant idea, Karmadog.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[KillerMuffin]

Hey, just as long as you don't use the word "member" in reference to a penis we're okay.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

"Hey, just as long as you don't use the word "member" in reference to a penis we're okay."

--

I feel your pain, KM. But why did you leave out, "turgid manhood?" RF

 

[P. B. Walker]

Hey, just as long as you don't use the word "member" in reference to a penis we're okay.

LOL... I have to think about this one... I generally wouldn't use that word for that reason, but hell it could happen... time for a word search. LOL

- PBW

 

[deliciously_naughty]

pissed off is hardly harsh language considering some of what is now allowed on public television, my personal barameter of the standards of the time. What can I say, I'm a historian and have a thing for pop culture. But I'm right about the link between tv and social mores, which makes me happy. Keep in mind what I mean is that what you see on regular channels is about the median. Some people are still offended but most think it's appropriate if not tame.

wow...my academic side is joining forces with my pervy side...cool.

As someone else in the thread said...at least they gave you feedback. Take what you can from it, dismiss the rest, and be glad that people are reading it.

good luck

 

[CHEWEY]

PB Walker----Pissed

hiya P.B, I was just reading your thread and I can't stop laughing! Pretty scarey world when you can say "cunt" but can't say "pissed". "I am learning the hard way, that those who can do"! "Those who can't are, ummm, pissed.