Pick me up

[mlady_france]

Okay, I'm feeling totally down and bumded out. Isn't it amaizing how you can be on top of the world and some one, who knows just how to do it, can bring you crashing down to reality? Why is it that I always pay so much attention to the one who hurts me the most. Why do I still fucking care? Why should I feel bad for making plans with my friends over some one who didn't have the corage or respect for me to tell me the truth until he crush my world and distroyed almost every dream I had. Why is it that now, when I find I'm actually happy, that some one out there cares, that some one out there has gotten me to open up, come out of my shell, really be me for the first time, I find him in the most impossible place? Why can't I kick off this funk that bastard put me in?

Okay, done ranting.

 

[oggbashan]

If you didn't care: it wouldn't hurt.

Caring is what makes us human and vulnerable.

Have a virtual hug from me. More available whenever needed.

x 4

Og

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Okay, I'm feeling totally down and bumded out. Isn't it amaizing how you can be on top of the world and some one, who knows just how to do it, can bring you crashing down to reality? Why is it that I always pay so much attention to the one who hurts me the most. Why do I still fucking care? Why should I feel bad for making plans with my friends over some one who didn't have the corage or respect for me to tell me the truth until he crush my world and distroyed almost every dream I had. Why is it that now, when I find I'm actually happy, that some one out there cares, that some one out there has gotten me to open up, come out of my shell, really be me for the first time, I find him in the most impossible place? Why can't I kick off this funk that bastard put me in?

Okay, done ranting.

It's only the ones you love can hurt you. If you open up you expose the soft, vulnerable core. Anyone who takes advantage of that is a schmutz.

You are a lovely, open person. It's not much help now, but only those that can feel pain can know true happiness.

My prayers are with you. Believe, you are loved.

 

[eric shawn listo]

's and 's, love.

 

[Guest]

Pick you up?

Okay, I'm a little out of practice, but hear goes.


Uhh, do you come here often?

What's your sign?

It's not a cucumber,I'm just happy to meet you.

If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Others are doing good at conforting. I thought I'd make you laugh, I hope.

 

[mlady_france]

Pick you up?

Okay, I'm a little out of practice, but hear goes.


Uhh, do you come here often?

What's your sign?

It's not a cucumber,I'm just happy to meet you.

If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Others are doing good at conforting. I thought I'd make you laugh, I hope.

A great laugh when I really needed it. Thanks

And thanks everyone.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

The Vibrator



As the woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom
door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from
within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter
giving herself a real workout with a vibrator.
Shocked, she
asked, "What in the world are you doing?"

The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old,
unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll
ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me
alone."


The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz
coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door.
Upon entering the room, he observed his
daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter
said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and
this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."


A couple days later, the wife and daughter came home
from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the
kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming
from, of all places, the family room. They entered
that area and observed the husband/father sitting on
the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to
him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with
my Son-in-law."

 

[mlady_france]

The Vibrator

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Oh, To Be Six Again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing
his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in
the mirror. Since her birthday was not far
off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.
"I'd like to be six again", she replied, still looking
in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made
her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her
to Six Flags theme park. What a day!He put her on
every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of
Fear, theScreaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything
there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the
theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach
felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's
where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and
a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie,
popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home
with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He
leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly
asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly
changed. "I meant my dress size, you dumb ass!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is
listening,he is going to get it wrong.

 

[mlady_france]

Oh, To Be Six Again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing
his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in
the mirror. Since her birthday was not far
off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.
"I'd like to be six again", she replied, still looking
in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made
her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her
to Six Flags theme park. What a day!He put her on
every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of
Fear, theScreaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything
there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the
theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach
felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's
where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and
a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie,
popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home
with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He
leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly
asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly
changed. "I meant my dress size, you dumb ass!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is
listening,he is going to get it wrong.

LMAO!

 

[English Lady]

*hugs* mlady -hope you're feeling smilier now

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

A wealthy hospital benefactor was visiting the local
hospital when, during the tour, she passed a room
where a male patient was masturbating
furiously.



"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!
Why is he being allowed to do that?"


The doctor who was leading the tour explained,



"I'm very sorry Ma'am but this man has a serious
condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen.
If he doesn't masturbate at least
five
times a day, they'll explode and he'll die within
minutes."



Moving on down the corridor, they looked into a single
patient's room. They were confronted with the sight of
a gorgeous female nurse performing oral sex on a male
patient. Again, the woman screamed,



"LOOK AT THAT! OH MY GOD! How can that possibly be
justified in a hospital?"


The doctor replied,



"He is suffering from the same illness as the other
man, however he has extremely good insurance
coverage."

 

[mlady_france]

*hugs* mlady -hope you're feeling smilier now

*hugs*

Yes a lovely chat with some one dear, and a restful night disturbed only by the sound of rain. Feeling a bit lonesome, a bit longing, but over all better.

 

[English Lady]

overall better is good

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Why was the blonde beating her mathematics book with a baseball bat?










Her teacher told her to take a crack at it.