Pick-Me-Up

[BlondeBeauty]

Alright, everyone. I've had the worst night of my entire life.

Laughter is the best medicine, right?
Quick, quick. Who's got a really lame joke?

 

[DriveSouth]

I do ... I do

Why did the person who discovered PMS name it that?

 

[CelestialBody]

BB

 

[Countess DeWinter]

no lame jokes, but how 'bout a hug?
{{{{{{{BB}}}}}}}

 

[Ambrosious]

HIGH DEFINITION HILARITY

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

 

[DriveSouth]

Re: I do ... I do

Why did the person who discovered PMS name it that?

Because Mad Cow Disease was taken ...

 

[KillerMuffin]

I deleted all the good Fwd:'s that I got. But I did swipe this link from the story feedback section, it's great for a smile at the least.

Of Mice and Modem... by RonG

 

[*Jennifer-In-Flares*]

Pick-Me-Up

what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? oh you don't mean that do you? *jenny*

 

[Dillinger]

A man walks into a psychiatrists's office wearing only Saran Wrap.

The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

 

[Dillinger]

John dies and arrives in hell. He's met by the devil and told that each person is offered several choices of torture that run in 1,000-year cycles.

The devil leads him to room after room of torture, each more horrible than the next. Finally, they go to a room where a young college coed is performing oral sex on a man drinking beer.

John tells the devil, "This is more like it!"

The devil says, "Are you sure? It lasts for a thousand years!"

John replies, "Yes!"

So the devil walks over to the young woman and says, "You can go now, I've found your replacement."

 

[Friendly Dragon]

What's green and lets you do things?





Permit the frog

 

[KillerMuffin]

Sports giggles from MSNBC's answer man

Q: That blimp incident in Oakland worries me. The XFL blimp got loose on a windy day and blew several miles, finally deflating when it stuck on the antenna of a restaurant. How can that happen?

A: I’m mystified, too. It seems inconceivable that any venture associated with Vince McMahon could fail due to a shortage of hot air.

Q: It looked like the blimp was really stuck up on that roof. How did they get it down?

A: McMahon called out some of his wrestlers and they brought down the blimp by bopping it with metal folding chairs.

Q: Why were Oakland city officials so worried when they heard that a football blimp had crashed?

A: They thought it was a Raiders’ blimp, and they worried that Al Davis would sue the city for bursting his balloon again.

 

[Cheyenne]

?? Did I miss something? You asked for jokes, but wouldn't someone ask WHY you had the worst night of your entire life first? What's up, and what can all the amateur psychologists at Lit help you with?

 

[CW]

My thoughts exactly

?? Did I miss something? You asked for jokes, but wouldn't someone ask WHY you had the worst night of your entire life first? What's up, and what can all the amateur psychologists at Lit help you with?

I was some what puzzled by the lack of questions to Blonde Beauty,,, did I miss something from elsewhere?


Been gone (mostly ) for three days or so,,, so I am trying to 'catch up',,,

 

[April]

What do you have if there are 100 rabbits standing in a row
and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

 

[Cheyenne]

If I ask what's going on again, will I get an answer this time? Or it this another game where only people who speak off the board have a clue?

 

[BlondeBeauty]

Hey Cheyenne, sorry I didn't find this earlier while you were still signed on. I was just having a horrible day and wanted to get over it. Only Nite and I know why I was upset, you're not the only one who's in the dark. I just didn't feel like talking then. Thank you so much, your concern is and was greatly appreciated.

Thanks again,
BlondeBeauty