Pick a Time, Any Time

Right Now...

I'd like to be in your mind right now to know what you really think.

iS
 
I think there's a tendency to romanticize the past and neglect to look at the clear advantages of the present. After all, just one hundred years ago, the life expectancy was about 50 years. Today it's 75+. The standard of living today is higher than it's ever been and there is more democracy and freedom in the world than at any other time in history.

All this is not to say that we live in some paradise today. I think that's obvious. And there are certainly great historical civilizations and periods I would love to visit: Ancient Rome, Greece, Egypt, China in the days of the forbidden city, the US during the revolution and World War II.

But the key word is visit. I'm much too fond of antibiotics, air conditioning, color TV and due process of law to not want to come back.
 
Anyone remember that movie from the 70's, "Westworld" with Yul Brynner, Peter Fonda, and Blythe Danner? In that movie they had created a resort for adults where you could visit the atmosphere of your choice--medieval, western, or futuristic. The different worlds were populated by androids. Because it was a resort, I'm sure they provided all the modern amenities, disguised to fit the time.

So, forget about the disease, life expectancy, the existence of slavery, etc. THINK HOLLYWOOD and then pick a time(s).

Yeah, in ancient Egypt, I'd likely be expected to shave my head and wear a wig. But it would still be cool to wear the jewelry, be fanned with a palm frond, and "walk like an Egyptian..."

In Regency England, I'd have to wear a corset (which I actually sort of dig), be repressed as a woman, etc. But I'd also get to WALTZ, wear all those clothes, and leave my calling card on silver salvers.

Turn of the century America has it's lure for me too. Those funky bicycles, the incredible inventions that were being introduced, and of course, the fashions.

In ancient Rome I'd probably have slaves, which of course is morally repugnant, but I'd also have running water and hot baths, like some of you pointed out. My home would be full of art--sculptures, mosaics, frescoes. Ahhh.

And strangely, I'd like to have experienced America during World War II, to feel that patriotic unity, to see the newsreels, to do my part in the war effort. Weird, huh?
 
far before Medival Times would i be...

before Attila, before Alexander the Great, not long after Atlantis slipped into the sea. i want to travel the world with my friends, a world where civilization is sparce and the distance is far in between, where the strong, wether just or cruel, rule.. i want to be taught the discipline of Steel by the eastern Warmasters...

i want to live in the Age of High Adventure.....

*the theme to Conan the Barbarian plays loudly*
 
The best period for me is the early 1920's. I was an amateur baseball player of some ability (played Division I college ball and some industrial Class A). Not good enough by today's standards to earn a living, but in the early 20's, I would have kicked butt. Very few pitchers threw better than 80 mph. William Bendix played Babe Ruth in the movies, I could have played with him.

From an intellectual curiosity standpoint, I have always been interested in the Rome of Augustus (I would have definitely kept an eye on Livia, though).
 
Time Travel...

I think that I would have liked to hang out and see what the life of Jesus was really like, my being a PK and all. The Garden of Eden would be great. I'd be barbecuin' all the time. But I guess there would probably be only fruits and vegetables on the menu, eh?

Barbecued Tree of Life don't sound so bad...

insideShiraz
 
The Roman era, with all it's debauchery and self indulgence, of course that's not the reason I'd be there.hehe

Carl.
 
How could I forget?

Dealey Plaza (is that the proper spelling?), November 22, 1963, 12:00 p.m. with the "knowledge(?)" I have now. What would history be like today if it could have been changed? And if I couldn't change it, I'd like to know what really happened.

insideShiraz
 
Day One

I would like to be standing with Adam and Eve when God was giving them their instructions.
 
Rome sounds fun, too...

i wanna see something like the opening battle of "Gladiator"!!
 
and i'd like to see what Jesus was really like, not the "jived" up version that his Deciples preached, b/c i think that it's quite different from what you Christians think it was like...
 
Re: Day One

Softly said:
I would like to be standing with Adam and Eve when God was giving them their instructions.

Which was basically "You don't need to know everything, now go have fun"...?

insideShiraz

Hi to sinfullady and Magoo especially...
 
Re: Time Travel...

insideShiraz said:
I think that I would have liked to hang out and see what the life of Jesus was really like, my being a PK and all.
insideShiraz

Damn, I must be tired. I just spent ten minutes trying to figure out why a placekicker has a particular relevancy to the life of Jesus. "Drop Kick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life"
 
Most definately the Middle Ages around 14th-15th century, an age of knights and fair maidens, chivalry and castles, all the equisite embroidery and tapestries, the architecture, being courted properly and treated like a lady.

Of course I wouldn't mind getting down and dirty as a lusty serving wench with me bosoms overflowing and the slaps on me arse from the big hairy male smelling men. ;)
 
1976, I'm a Noo Yoiker and I spend all my time having fun 'n' wild times with my punkrock girlfriend, Gingersnap. We live in a cool little loft and spend our days trying to get our trashy band, Carburetor Dung, off the ground. We started off doing covers of Velvet Underground, Iggy Stooge, MC5 and New York Dolls toons but we're writing our own material now. We're not that great to be honest - I only know three guitar chords and Ginger can never remember the words - but we have so much fucking FUN. At night we head down the Bowery to a sleazy little club called CBGBs where we watch Patti Smith, The Ramones, Television, Talking Heads and Blondie. In the summer we fly out to London to visit Malcolm McClaren's clothes store, SEX, on the Kings Road and check out the burgeoning British Punk scene. Those crazy Sex Pistols are WILD, man.

Of course - after a few months of this we're totally drained of energy and in need of a little spirituality so we shave our heads and travel to Tibet before the Chinese Communist occupation in the 1950s. Here we live simple lives as Buddhist Lamas high in the Himalayas under the gaze of the Dalai Lama - turning prayer wheels, burning butter lamps, learning martial arts, eating rice and drinking tea..

Pretty quickly, though, Gingersnap gets sick of pretending to be a man. And besides, this NO SEX deal is KILLING us.

So, I grow a Salvador Dali moustache and Ginger buys a pig, called Bernard, which she walks on a leash for fun. We travel back to Zurich, 1916. The First World War is raging through Europe but Switzerland remains neutral so we hang out with a weird bunch of fucked up Romanian, Alsatian and German bohemians called The Dadaists who do strange shows at the Cabaret Voltaire at the foot of the Spiegelgasse.

In the early 1920s we follow the eccentric Dada leader, Tristan Tzara, to France. Here we rip off all his best ideas and hook up with the Surrealist, Andre Breton - painting and making short erotic cinefilms during the day and dancing the Charlston and making love all night in various locations throughout Roaring Twenties Paris.

In 1922 we are blessed with the patter of tiny feet when Bernard the Pig gives birth to a cute litter of tiny Piglets. Realising that Bernard is a Lady Pig, we change her name to Bernadette.
 
Hearing that Carburetor Dung have a gig supporting Richard Hell and the Voidoids at CBGBs we pay a visit to New York 1977. Unfortunately the young punks don't appreciate my Salvador Dali moustache and chase us from the stage before the first of my three chords has even been struck. Shortly afterwards Bernadette and her piglets (there were 23 at the last count) break loose and rampage through the club's notoriously un-hygenic lavatories, upsetting the club's clientele further.

Gingersnap keeps the murderous mob at bay with a few slashes of her mic lead just as a a leather-clad Deborator II crashes into the venue on a Harley with an Uzi under one arm and poor Flagg bound and gagged behind her.

"I've been sent from the future," she snarls. "Can't remember what the fuck for. Something to do with 'Saving the Machines." She flips open a loot-bag crammed full of buzzing vibrators, eggs and other assorted sexual paraphenalia. "See. I saved these already," she says.

Ginger nods at the hapless Flagg, now struggling frantically with his bonds. "So, what's HE got to do with it?"

The Automaton Deborah shrugs her shoulders as we stare into her Helter-Skelter eyes. "Shit happens!"
 
The hordes of New York punkers part, like the Red Seas for Moses, as Deborator II dismounts her Harley, hurls her hostage buns-up over the knobbled chrome seat (Hmmmmn... interesting!) and chooses an exceptionally long "tool" from her loot-bag.

"Oh my!" gasps Gingersnap, her eyes widening.

The Automaton Deborah reaches for the elastic of Flagg's shorts and begins to slide them down over his clenched buttocks just as a spark of purple lightning crackles throughout the darkened room.

Deborator II turns, somewhat irritated, as a naked male human form materialises before us. The man rolls, a little confused, on the sticky venue floor for a few seconds before springing abruptly to his feet, determination spreading across his face. "STOP!" he yells, raising his palm in a halting fashion. "Let the Englishman go!"

The Automaton studies the nude male before her, paying particular attention to his lower regions.

Hearing an electrical buzzing sound I direct my gaze towards Deborator's chest as a pair of 3 inch silver glinting points spring erect from her cyberbosoms. "What's your name, sweetie?" she growls, licking her lips.

The stranger covers his nethers with both hands. "I am Felix," he says. "My name derives from the Greek and, of course, translates as 'friend'."

Gingersnap frowns. "So, Phallus, what do you want with Hugh Grant here?" She points her thumb at Flagg, who has loosened his bonds and is now angrily pulling at his gag.

"It's FELIX!" says Felix.

"Whatever," she sneers. The nude stranger somehow reminds her of Principal Wittgenstein, her nemesis at St Margaret's School of Correction for Naughty Girls. She has a strong urge to flip him the bird behind his back or daub obscene graffiti on his Bentley.

There is a commotion to the the left of us. "Keep me away from that... that... THING!" squeels Flagg, eyeing Deborator II with obvious contempt. "Bloody Americans!"

"So, what's all this ABOUT, Felix?" I ask, a little embarrassed by his brazen nudity. (I AM British afterall.)

"Well," he says, rubbing at his chin. "I've done some extensive calculus and come to the incontrovertible conclusion that there is a distortion in the Time / Space continuum. The Englishman's anus seems to be inexplicably linked to the phenomenon. I don't really have time to fully explain but.... modern physics has confirmed most dramatically that all concepts we use to describe nature are limited, that they are not features of reality, as we tend to believe, but creations of the mind; parts of the map, not of the territory. Whenever we expand the realm of our experience, the limitations of our rational mind become apparent and we have to modify, or even abandon some of our concepts.........."
 
FELIX: "Classical physics was based on the notion both of an absolute, three-dimensional space, independent of the material objects it contains, and obeying the laws of Euclidean geometry, and of time as a separate dimension which again is absolute and flows at an even rate, independent of the material world. In the West, these notions of space and time were......"

"Anyone fancy a pint?" asks Flagg, glancing at his Rolex."

"I wouldn't mind a lager," I say, nodding my approval "Ginger? Deborator? Uh... do Cyberwomen drink alcohol?"

"Will it dull the pain?" she asks, her stilletto-like nipples contracting, as she eyes the nude stranger, a troubled expression hardening her lifelike features.

FELIX: "Actually, the belief that geometry is inherent in nature, rather than part of the framework we use to describe nature, has its origin in Greek thought...."

GINGERSNAP: "Get me a large Scotch." She pinches my butt, and raises a cheeky eyebrow. "Oh, it's ok. I've found one. Who's for tequilla slammers?"

Deborator II wearily raises her hand.

FELIX: "Demonstrative geometry was the central feature of Greek mathematics and had a profound influence on Greek philosophy. Its method of starting from unquestioned axioms, and deriving theorems from these by deductive reasoning, became..."

"So, Flagg?" I ask. "Who was you're favourite Dr Who? I always thought Tom Baker was the best."

"Oh, I don't know. Perhaps your fellow Scotsman, Sylvester McCoy?"

"It's 1977. He hasn't happened yet."

FELIX: "The Greeks believed that their mathematical theorems were expressions of eternal and exact truths about the real world, and that geometrical shapes were manifestations of..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" screams the Automated Deborah, startling the club's clientele and a few of the less hardy piglets. With a vice-like grip she grasps hold of Felix's head and presses her cyberlips hard against his - Frenching him into a shocked silence.

With a buzz and a crackle her pointed silver nipples re-appear from beneath her leather jacket, almost stabbing the poor man in the chest.




[Edited by Roger Simian on 09-04-2000 at 06:34 AM]
 
I want go visit (hollywood style) the Days of King Arthur...Those days to me seem so romantic....but I just want to visit and be in the royal family...no peasant for me...
 
I am in complete awe of Roger's story telling skills! I can hardly wait for the next posting.
 
Why thankyou, April, you beautiful person.

WS - I like Felix, too. Indeed, when Gil started his "Who Do You Miss From The Board" strand a few weeks ago, the two people I enquired after were Whispersecret and Felix. My silly little time-travel story here in this strand is intended as gentle mockery, not character assassination. The people involved seem like they can take a joke. In another strand, Ginjah suggested that myself, Felix, Flagg and Debwa join her for a coffee. Flagg pointed out that a drinking parlour might be more appropriate. The above is how I imagine things would turn out.

Don't worry, WhisperGuru, I've been gently mocking Felix ever since the good old days of 'Harmonic Convergence: An Extended Interlude'.

BTW - I'd be interested to see what life was like during Babylonian times. It'd be fascinating to see how people lived before Christianity and the Old Testament.
 
Scotsquatch, you keep this up and I'm gonna put the cashielans on you until you scream "abiuro." Not even Gingersnap, the Iron Maiden of Nuremburg, will be able to save your hairy ass.

BTW, Babylon was AFTER Adam and Eve. Hey, you and the KillerMuffin should do a Garden of Eden thing. She's just as wacko as you are. Felix, with his silver tongue, gets to be the serpent and talk some real jive shit to Eve.
 
Ah-ha! I THOUGHT that would bring you out of hiding. Quick - who's got the net?
 
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