physical descriptions of yourself on the net

[Hecate]

*lol and hugging Renee* couldn't have said it any better !!

firespirit - you are sooooo right !!!!!!
I mean I did have a fair share of chatting in adult chat rooms myself - and well - I do think I am kinda normal looking and not scarry .. and I always gave people the truth .. but it is amazing what that does to some of them. I actually started to make myself "look less pretty" if I may say so, to divide the more intelligent and serious ones from the Barbie-doll lovers *chuckles*

I actually have found most satisfactory conversations specially on the erotic level with people I never knew what they looked like .. only thing I actually ask for is age .. not because of me liking or not liking to talk to a certain age group .. but to better be able to judge the "content" of what is said .

Although I consider myself reasonably pretty I ask people (men!) if they really want to know - because once they know what I look like, i never can be that "woman of their dreams" again .. and a lot of "cybering" is related to fantasy, imagination and dreams...

so please firewielder - don't worry ... those only seekinng that "shallow" entertainment will be the ones "disappearing" .. but they are not the men you want !!!!

*chuckles with a blush* Do I make sense ? well - I had a drink for dinner and english is not my fist language .. so bear with me

 

[ShyGuy68]

I do like to have mental picture of who I'm talking to on-line. But it doesn't matter to me if the person is overweight or not.

I have a weight problem myself, and have just started to accept it, and do something about it, so I think that if I couldn't accept other people with the same problem, I would be so fake.

It's the mind that I like of the people that I chat with, and with some you just connect, and with others you don't, and that doesn't depend on looks.


ShyGuy

 

[Firesprite]

Hi there

I chat to people on ICQ and in chatrooms on a reasonably regular basis, and there is one thing that really bugs me. People wanting physical descriptions. Now, I am not saying I deny all information, or that I lie and say what I think they want to hear, but I have noticed (and it is becomming more and more obvious) that people are almost obsessed with looks, even if they are on the other side of the world. I have conducted a few tests (well I have tried a few things) and it is starting to worry me a little.
I recently had a conversation with a man in England (nothing against the English of course, but that is as far away from here as it gets) and the conversation basicly went like this :
him: Hi
me:hi
him: how are you
me: good thanks, yourself?
him: fine. what do you look like?

now I don't know about you guys, but if your posts are anything to go buy you are a sane bunch.. I hesitated. to test my theory, I decided to answer with a question of my own. Why?
I got a reply that was his description of himself.. height, weight, hair colour, eye colour, age etc.
I thought ok.. I'll go with this, and described myself. I told the truth.. I always do. however, I left out one thing.. weight.
now, I'm going to be modest.. I sound pretty good if I describe the rest and leave out weight. I am not ugly and I'm not thin. I am also happy with that.
Then he asked me what I weighed. I told him I was "overweight" and I didn't get a reply to that.. nothing. zip. zilch. zero.
I guess he had gone onto smaller and better things.
what I want to know is: WHO CARES?? I look after myself, I am happy and healthy, I am not obese, and I don't need a re-inforced toilet, bed or chairs... I am not even close to it. but I AM over weight. I am also on the other side of the world, and I will probably NEVER see 99% of the people I talk to on the net. It doesn't mean I cant type, have a conversation, be Damn good at cyber sex (if I do say so myself) or have my feelings hurt by being snubbed in this way.
I don't care if the person I'm talking to is 56, fat, balding, onto his 3rd wife and the grandfather of 4.. if I am cybering with him (and girls, if you haven't cybered with an older man, you don't know what you are missing out on... they are great!) or even just talking, he could look like Brad Pitt and it wouldn't make a difference.. its all just words.. you can put whatever face you want there.

I told you it bugged me

 

[Whispersecret]

Firesprite, you asked who cared about weight when talking to someone on the Internet. The answer is only the most shallow people on Earth. OR the very young. There's a thread somewhere (I think it's called "Does Weight Matter?") and you should read that and be encouraged.

 

[John1965]

Most people, even though they will never meet you, want a mental picture. Especially males talking to females. Most likely his idea was to get down to pounding the pud and he wanted to think he was talking to Pamela Anderson. So you have two choices....Tell him what he wants to hear or tell him to go blow himself.

 

[Renee]

You are right, as soon as a conversation starts they ask you that. I have seen it when my friends are in chat and I am there with them. I always crack up because the conversations are the same:

Him: Hi
You: Hi
Him: How are you?
You: Fine and you?
Him: Great what do you look like?
You: 5' 4" long Brown hair Green eyes 123 lbs
Him: You are sexy!

Now at that point when I see them respond to her like that I die laughing. She has been truthful and she is pretty.. but let's say for sake of argument... you were the one describing yourself like this, and he responds with the "your sexy" line... Would he still think so if he saw you and saw that what you said was all true, however, you also had No teeth, holes in your face.. bags under your eyes... One leg... it kills me that from a few measly words all of a sudden they can tell who is sexy and who isn't. They feel that you are the Greek Goddess they have been looking for.

One thing I also realized is this.. every guy she seems to talk to in chat is 6' 2" Brown hair/Blue eyes and built. Did you ever notice that there are no overweight ppl in chat? I wonder why.

[This message has been edited by Renee (edited 04-05-2000).]

 

[Firesprite]

Thankyou everyone for replying.. I am glad its not just me that this happens to

 

[Sammyjo]

Yes, go read that thread "Does weight matter?"

I, personally, do not care what the person I talk to looks like, or weighs. Who cares? I know I'm not the smallest toothpick in the bunch. Does it bother me? not always. I would be lying if I said I was 100% happy with myself 100% of the time.

I also know that my self-esteem was pretty low last year at this time, but a few really great people helped me out and now I can say that I am more happy than sad. Some of you might not buy that comment, but if you talked to me 24 hours a day, you would notice more highs than lows.

I also don't base my feelings on those pictures people send me. 10 to 1 they don't look much like the picture anyways.

I had a conversation that went similar the other day:

him: hi
me: hi, how are you?
him: good, you?
me: pretty good
him: what do you look like?
me: 5' 0", brown hair, brown eyes, voluptuous
him: what are your measurements? your weight, if you don't mind?
me: I do mind
him: why?
me: it's none of your business


And that was it. What do I make of it? I don't care, really. I mean, if someone is that shallow that all they care about is talking to a Barbie...I think I have one here I can sell.

SJ

 

[Stump]

You said it all fire, who cares.

I like seeing pictures as much as the next guy. I like to see who i have made friends with. But you don't make that your first statement.

Not getting one is no reason to freak out and stop chatting. Some people don't feel comfortable sending their picture to people.

There are some out there who just want the pictures and they could care less if they talk to you again.


If you are one of those who is just looking for pictures, go to WWW.REALTIMEPICPOST.COM
and you can get all the pictures you want.

Stump


[This message has been edited by Stump (edited 04-05-2000).]

 

[Firesprite]

I have a picture of myself, and I have no problem with sending it to folks.. Just not in the first sentance..
I think the whole issue has alot to do with manners. I talk to people how I would talk to them if I met them in R/L.. I don't think I would even consider asking them personal questions on a first meeting! then again.. I don't have sex on a first date in R/L, and on the internet I do sometimes, but still.. you know what I mean.

 

[Wordmage]

I hang out in chat and I agree wholeheartedly. The thing I consider worse than even the stories already told here is the sheer rudeness of a/s/l.

I'm a friendly kinda guy. I'm a Kmart greeter in chat. Your name pops up and I say hi. What do I get back? Often no answer or a/s/l. That's age/sex/location. Makes me want to reply 297/tri-sexual/currently hovering over your house in my space ship....

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by Wordmage:
That's age/sex/location. Makes me want to reply 297/tri-sexual/currently hovering over your house in my space ship....

Good answer.

I don't hang out in chat rooms, because my fingers are too stupid. If I can't edit things before people see them, I look like an illiterate third grader. <G>

I never ask what people look like. I prefer to develop my own picture from their words and casual comments. I'm sure everyone of you is better looking in my mind than you are in RL.

As of this morning, I can just tell people to go look at my profile on Literotica. If they really care what I look like, they will. If they don't look, then they don't really want to know. Pictures don't lie (much) but I can claim to be the avatar of Apollo and you wouldn't know the difference.

 

[Fubar]

Must admit I find a lot of chatrooms boring! All you see is 'hello room', then somebody says hello back and then.....
Even in adult rooms I will chat away on any subject so long as the person is interesting.
If somebody asks, that I describe myself I do, then its their problem if they do not like it. Chatrooms for me are something to have in the background while I am doing other things on my pc, I am not upset if somebody cuts me dead, says I am to old etc. Its a cyber world, and its not real. Still it is a turn on to have a cyber chat with a woman who knows how to get a man going. I must admit that the a/s/l thing is rude and the cyber speak! 'r u m/f 4 i wood like 2 know. The English language is going down the drain!!!

 

[Cranberry_cola]

Oh yes, more often than not, when I'm in chat rooms, the message box pops up with a/s/l. Tend to make you feel irritated, I must say. And i thought I was rude to ignore them.

 

[Gil]

Good Topic Firesprite!

When you're chatting in this environment where anybody can be anything, hold back a bit.

It's always fun to see if you can make a connection with somebody else, but be careful.

It they are obsessed with how you look before you've had a chance to get to know each other (and like each other...the amount of time in this varies from person to person), chances are they are pretty shallow and not worth the effort.

There are no absolutes but, cyber-interaction by definition involves fantasy and the longer you get to know someone before you share reality, the better the odds it will last.

Don't wear your heart on your sleeve and don't share your real self with strangers, unless you can handle the results.

I am also one of those who always tells the truth, but I'm older and can handle rejection a lot better.

 

[StarryEyz]

Originally posted by fubar:
Must admit I find a lot of chatrooms boring! All you see is 'hello room', then somebody says hello back and then.....

I have not gotten into a "good" chat room in quite a while. It used to be if I was willing to spend a few hours searching room after room I would find one that had a good group chat going on. Now, more often than not, it is more like everyone seems to be saying: A/S/L or you get snubbed. I would love to find a good ongoing room where ALL the people who were there really wanted to get in a good conversation with otherS. Most often, I would rather get into a good group chat than just get singled out for a "Private Chat" because someone likes my A/S/L.

 

[Gil]

Hi StarryEyz, welcome to the Literotica BB.

I used to live in Portlock and WaiKiKi, so Alohaaa,

I'm not a big 'chatter' so what does A/S/L mean exactly. Age/Sex/?

 

[Shannon]

I am on AOL and this is where it is the worst. Every chatroom I am in I getted asked those questions. What difference does it matter my location?? I'm not gonna meet you, you may be psycho. Yes you may like my height and weight and my eyes and age and hair color, but did I mention I'm a hunchback with horns. Most guys are the problems. Some just want to chat, but the others that ask the questions first off are the worst.

 

[Renee]

Thanks Hecate.. I needed that hug, and I am glad you agree.

Gil a/s/l = age/sex/location

 

[Easynotcheap]

I agree with Gil. I have logged on to chat but never understood the code. I hate codes in my job and I really hate people who use it to impress.

As for wanting to know what I look like, learn who I am first. Find my humour, my love of life and interest in learning more about you. Then we'll share!

 

[Wordmage]

Originally posted by Shannon:
Most guys are the problems. Some just want to chat, but the others that ask the questions first off are the worst.

I'd have to agree, but the women can be just as, if not more, rude. I was witness to an incident a couple of days ago. After being told "no, I'm straight" THREE times, this loser just kept on pushing. The lines were at least as bad as what the guys were using.

A lot of people have taken to answering PMs in public. That's entertaining, because you can always tell the question from the answer.

At the risk of insulting everyone, the guys need to start treating the women like ladies and the women need to start demanding (and commanding) respect.

Is there anyone guy out there who thinks they could walk into a real club, ask a woman "hey, you wanna (fill in the blank)" and not have your cojones rammed through your body and into your throat? Why would you treat the ladies in our chat room with less respect?

Damn soapbox just crawled right under my feet and lifted me up didn't it? I'll get down now and return you to your regularly scheduled Bulletin Board.

 

[Ravenloft]

Makes me want to reply 297/tri-sexual/currently hovering over your house in my space ship....
Wordmage.

Well god damn! You made me laugh rather hard there WM... We should make that line the universal responce to the a/s/l nonsence!!!

 

[Rachel Picabia]

A/S/L everyone.

 

[Rachel Picabia]

Sorry - bad joke.

Here's a cruel trick to play in chat rooms, for cheap laughs...

Wait for some guy to approach you (usually about 3 seconds if your using a vaguely female sounding user-name).

When he asks for a physical description, say,
'blonde shoulder-length hair, blue eyes, 5ft11, 36DD, 8 stone. I'm a dancer'.

Then ignore every single message they send you from then on. Drives them wild. (I'm an evil bitch sometimes.)

rachel
xox

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Speaking of chat rooms -- I haven't been on Literotica Chat for a while. I used to check in frequently, and met some nice people.

I blocked all the HORNYBOYS and FUCKMENOWS as soon as I logged on, and never had a problem chatting with the ten or so people I liked.

If anyone wants to chat I think I'll log on tomorrow about 10am Pacific Time.

Oh, by the way a/s/l is 39/m/LA.