Perverted or normal?

[Gokor]

Hello everyone,
I have a question if anyone would like to comment as I am a little confused.

I am happily married (9 years now), prior to getting married, my wife was in two pornographic films. I have mentioned to here that I would like to see the films, but she responds that in no way does she want me to see the films and that I am perverted for wanting to.

I have always considered myself fairly conservative, is it perverted to want to see the films? They were of her before we were together so I do not have anything to be jealous of?!?
Your thoughts?
Thanks,

 

[UhOhItsMerci]

not at all! i would want to see my husbands porno films if he was in one previously. i think it would make for good foreplay watch them together and badabing!! enjoy some hot sex! of course thats just my opinion.

i dont understand why she would call you perverted, you just want to see it because of her. its more curiosity than anything.

 

[Rainbow_dash]

Sounds more like she's ashamed of having done it.

Gauge her reactions, if it's really vehement then just download, sneak and watch to get the curiosity over with and just LET. IT. GO.


If it was ME I'd want my other to see it, but I possess no shame. Some people commit an act when young, then regret it. But I'd HAVE to at least sneak and peek.

 

[DarkPleasures]

The fact that she refuses to allow you to see said porn and even goes as far as to insult you proves that she is hiding something major. Never a good thing for a marriage.

 

[Rainbow_dash]

Can WE know the titles? lol

 

[DarkPleasures]

If he knew them he could look them up.

 

[Rainbow_dash]

If he knew them he could look them up.

DERP!

Excellent point, my bad.

 

[DarkPleasures]

No worries.

 

[Gokor]

Thanks for the support, I am already feeling better about myself.

I think you are all correct that she is ashamed of it, I was really starting to think I was in the wrong. And you hit it on the head that I am very curious about what she did in the videos as I consider our sex life now pretty mild.

Again, thank you for your kind words.

 

[domin8you]

what does she look like?

 

[JasonDaniel]

If you've been married for 9 years, and she has left her past in the past for real, so should you. Sometimes it is better to let sleeping dogs lie.

 

[EuphoricDysphoria]

There could be loads of reasons for this. Presumably her circumstances were pretty bad then, that she needed the money enough to go into porn. She may well find watching/discussing it triggering, reminding her of a bad time in her life.

It may well be that the porn wasn't mainstream and she's embarrassed. It may also be that she doesn't want you watching the film and then getting pissed if she's not open to performing those acts with you. You say your love life is vanilla but that may be partly because she wants to keep sex with you very separate and different in her head. Many women can't compartmentalise sex and love in the way most men do and so it may be important for her to have assurance from you that viewing these videos isn't going to affect your sexlife.

You also don't know if there are other skeletons in her closet. Porn stars have often done stripping work, escorting or prostitution. She may be worried that if you dig around in her past you'll uncover other things that she regrets and is ashamed of.

Ask yourself how going against her wishes and seeking out these films could harm your marriage. Then have a long think about whether it's really worth it to satisfy your own morbid curiosity. She obviously has major issues about these films. If you don't know why that is, you're risking a great deal by forcing her to confront a part of her life that she's very deliberately closed the door on.

 

[lvs2lck]

Jealosy factor

The one missing comment To me was the jealosy factor. Whether it was from before your relationship or not she may simply be trying to prevent the possible jealosy of seeing her with another...some guys get off on it, others can't handle it.

 

[photobuff56]

Disagree

The fact that she refuses to allow you to see said porn and even goes as far as to insult you proves that she is hiding something major. Never a good thing for a marriage.

I disagree that I dont think she is hiding anything. Most women dont like porn it dosent do anything for them not all but the majority. Im guilty of looking and my wife dosent like porn either, its considered emotional cheating (Per Dr Phil). And some people will say F dr Phil. If she dont like it you may have to live with it. It makes them feel bad if your looking at younger thinner women if your wife is older and maybe heavier Just my thoughts.

 

[Booby_Pritchard]

________

 

[loquere]

You should haves watched them before marrying her. Now if you do it it would be
Ike adding a third person to your bedroom.

Your wife's argument of calling u perverted is weak and offensive.

 

[Gokor]

Thanks everyone for the comments.

The way she told me about them... I am fairly god at my job and was / am considering running for an elected position (not federal only state), and she said she had too many skeletons in the closet for me to do that and she does not want to live a "public" life. Then she told me that her boyfriend at the time talked her into making the movies. I know the movie involved him and another guy, and that is about all I know.

When I would probe about it she would call me perverted for wanted to see her with another guy on film. After reading, I understand that I was being selfish by asking her about it and I had not considered the bad memories I have brought back for her. My first desire in seeing the movies was to see just how bad (embarrassing) can they be. Are they to the point that I could not run for public office? Of course there is a small part of me that does want to see them, see what she did how she did it (I know that is a little sad on my part).

Another thought I had was if she would at least tell me the production company contact a lawyer and purchase the rights to the films and have the company sign a nondisclosure agreement that the films ever existed.

I am probably posting too much personal stuff here, but in all honesty there is no way I could discuss this with coworkers.

Thank you for your time,
Gokor

 

[Gods_Favorite]

Hello everyone,
I have a question if anyone would like to comment as I am a little confused.

I am happily married (9 years now), prior to getting married, my wife was in two pornographic films. I have mentioned to here that I would like to see the films, but she responds that in no way does she want me to see the films and that I am perverted for wanting to.

I have always considered myself fairly conservative, is it perverted to want to see the films? They were of her before we were together so I do not have anything to be jealous of?!?
Your thoughts?
Thanks,

Not for nothing but if I were in your shoes I would want to see them.

 

[DarkPleasures]

I disagree that I dont think she is hiding anything. Most women dont like porn it dosent do anything for them not all but the majority. Im guilty of looking and my wife dosent like porn either, its considered emotional cheating (Per Dr Phil). And some people will say F dr Phil. If she dont like it you may have to live with it. It makes them feel bad if your looking at younger thinner women if your wife is older and maybe heavier Just my thoughts.

If she did it, it sounds like she may not dislike it. She doesn't want him watching HER porn. Not "all" porn.

 

[HussarVanburen]

Looks like you married a real winner there, chief.

I would put it aside, because yeah, do you really want to see her get fucked by two guys? Unless you know, you're one of those guys. In which case...yeah.

 

[callmeismael]

Thanks everyone for the comments.

The way she told me about them... I am fairly god at my job and was / am considering running for an elected position (not federal only state), and she said she had too many skeletons in the closet for me to do that and she does not want to live a "public" life. Then she told me that her boyfriend at the time talked her into making the movies. I know the movie involved him and another guy, and that is about all I know.

When I would probe about it she would call me perverted for wanted to see her with another guy on film. After reading, I understand that I was being selfish by asking her about it and I had not considered the bad memories I have brought back for her. My first desire in seeing the movies was to see just how bad (embarrassing) can they be. Are they to the point that I could not run for public office? Of course there is a small part of me that does want to see them, see what she did how she did it (I know that is a little sad on my part).

Another thought I had was if she would at least tell me the production company contact a lawyer and purchase the rights to the films and have the company sign a nondisclosure agreement that the films ever existed.

I am probably posting too much personal stuff here, but in all honesty there is no way I could discuss this with coworkers.

Thank you for your time,
Gokor

That actually sounds like a pretty good scenario for some erotica: a story about a couple who's been married a long time, he runs for public office and all these secrets from her past start to get unrooted by reporters, and he gains a whole new understanding of his wife's sexuality, which they begin to explore in a new way.

As to your specific situation, I think it's pretty normal for you to want to see them (I would if I was in your shoes), but equally normal for her to want you to not see them. I'd question whether it's really about her thinking that you're perverted, or whether she's just embarrassed by them.

 

[DarkPleasures]

Looks like you married a real winner there, chief.

I would put it aside, because yeah, do you really want to see her get fucked by two guys? Unless you know, you're one of those guys. In which case...yeah.

Who said she only fucked two men?

 

[dirtwrench]

Simple answer to your original question- yes, you are a pervert. But good news !!!! You found the right place- most of us here ARE perverts. We don't have an official club, jackets, caps, or dues. Just enjoyment of knowing we are among brothers & sisters.

 

[GimpyIntellect]

Keep in mind, she may have been attempting to spare your feelings from having you watch her in action.

Just imagine watching your sweet, wholesome wife getting absolutely pulverized, repeatedly, by something that appears to be a Louisville Slugger.......and she's thoroughly enjoying it.

That's enough to demoralize anyone's self-esteem.

 

[jasper3738]

Normal

I would say both are normal
You want to see your wife in action because you have fantasies
And desires and want to know if she is capable of doing those

Her probably wants the past in the past to much hurt and pain
And wants your love making and sex and intimacy to be
About you and her not what she use to do
Or what you want to see her doing but
She want to be with you satisfy you and love you for you
Without the baggage of the past

Love her for her