Perspective Challenge

[perks]

I've been struggling a bit with my poetry lately, wanting my voice to be stronger, more mine, more layered. In order to spark myself into writing differently or more like myself<as it is me doing the writing>, I started looking at all of my poetry. I realized that each rewrite was just more of the poem I'd written, nothing was really changed, just slightly edited. What if we changed the poem completely, changed it's perspective.

This is my challenge. Take a poem you've written, and change the perspective.
For instance, if the poem is written about two people in bed, make the poem from the bed's perspective.

Let's see what we can come up with. Hopefully some of them will be interesting. Let's see how broad we can make our voices.

 

[darkmaas]

Oooooh

I'm gonna love this!

 

[WickedEve]

Fanned Affair

Dear Jane and the drivel that comes after
blur between folds of accordion paper;
I pleated and turned Joshua's goodbye
till it was worthy of stirring my air.

His delayed departure delights me.
I summon Tammy into the heat of the bedroom
where ties, unknotted over pinstripes,
lay close to unpacked leather.

She is a servile garden of vines,
long and inclined to wrap around me.
"Afterwards," I tell her,
"don't iron out the wrinkles."

~

Fan's Perspective

Creased and held lofty,
beating the air, wingless,
I see her --
feather duster fluttering
like glimpses,
view sweeps past
flesh and wall
till crumpled beneath their breathing.

 

[Angeline]

Thanks perks!

What fun! This is a teriffic idea! Perspective 1 is Hill House, in the Halloween Contest thread. Here is perspective 2. Apparently the house had a few things to say.


Hill House Speaks

Every day she comes,
that common woman and her idiot consort
drive from town,
her wrapped in respectability,
as if it were a wimple,
holding up her feather duster like a cross.

As if I couldn't chew her up,
that scrawny twilight-fearing bitch,
suck her sinew, crack her bones, that witch,
and lick her marrow from the fingers of these walls,
and do it all in bright sunshine!

No one will help you.
No one indeed!

Eighty years gone by,
I’ve stood alone, a haughty dowager,
stiff-necked, aloof upon this hill.
I've watched the seasons turn,
the years churn by in spinning leaves,
and cars drive by so rarely on the road below,
almost never veering in to cross my iron gates,

no one comes but her and him.

Oh once they brought an agent,
some old silly frilly thing, Louise,
whose step became less sure alone,
when only echoes of her shoes
tapped down the bone of my chill halls.

When she peeked in the nursery
where old Hugh's daughter lived
and barely left until she died,
a dried and bitter waxen thing,
I had some fun.

(I made his daughter kill the governess,
you know, so many years ago,
drove her insane with curses, pleas, and lies
until she climbed those iron stairs in tears,
a rope around her neck, see?
She hung it from that hook, and jumped,
right there.)

Well, when Louise looked in,
I smelt her, hungered for her fears,
and so I gave those stairs
a little creak and spin and said

Looooooo-eeeeezzze

as if I lived inside the wind,
and then I laughed and bit
a ruffle from her dress
before she ran.

Don't I deserve some fun?

It's lonely on this hill,
but now we've got this one.
She's not apt to leave--
she seems intrigued by us,
and we by her.

She's pretty.
Old Hugh says he wants to waltz with her,
and hold her tight in a delightful, breathless dance.

Go back to town old crone,
take your feather duster
and your loutish husband, too,
but leave the girl.

Go back to town old crone.
Don't worry, she won't walk alone.
She never had a chance.

 

[Rybka]

This poem is based upon * Snow Showers * and should be center justified.


         ~ The Crow ~
          Cackling I fly
      Launch from a limb
   * Snow from the tree *
      * Falls onto him *
   ~ And shit from me ~
~ Lands right in his eye ~

 

[Angeline]

~ The Crow ~
Cackling I fly
Launch from a limb
* Snow from the tree *
* Falls onto him *
~ And shit from me ~
~ Lands right in his eye ~

LOL!