Personal arousal and writing

[Whispersecret]

Can a person write a hot sex scene and not be personally aroused by it?

For those of you who have written a lot of erotic stories, are you still as aroused as you once were when writing the sex scenes?

 

[UCE]

For me the answer to this is always. I write for myself and write only about what turns me on. I'm basically just laying out my fantasies for the world to see. Writing a sex story that didn't arouse me very much personally would be pretty hard to do; I probably wouldn't even do it for good money.

To me, the question is, how could anybody not be sexually involved in what they write--especially amateurs (not doing it specifically for money)? I look forward to see how this thread develops.

 

[UCE]

Oh wait a minute, you're asking the same question I did. Duh! I missed the "not."

I think romance writers or other professionals can churn out the sex scenes without getting turned on because they become formulaic after awhile.

 

[Route66Girl]

Good question

I definitely got turned on writing Miss Nova. It was my first erotic story.

Not so with my second attempt, A Memory of Red, or with others I've written but not yet posted.

I don't write erotic stories to illuminate my own fantasies. I'm in it to practice writing in general, making the readers of Lit my unsuspecting guinea pigs.

But it may happen again. I get caught up in the emotions often enough- when a character gets angry, frustrated, or overjoyed, I sometimes feel it. When that happens, I go with it and try to harness that emotion as much as possible to help the writing of it. Same with sexual arousal. If it does happen, I won't try to quash it.

 

[M.A.Thompson]

I have never become aroused while writing any of my stories.

I have been known, however,to sprout a chub whilst proofreading them!!!!

 

[ronde]

I get too consumed with details to get worked up when I write. Keeping the positions physically possible and remembering whose body parts are where takes too much concentration. I'm also pretty critical when I edit, but if it reads well, I can get aroused then.

 

[JUDO]

Yes, Whisper -- definitely. In fact, I encourage it. It helps me to find new ways to describe the sensations the characters are going through and sometimes serve to inspire new observations I had forgotten or overlooked.

Yes, I'm talking about touching yourself while writing sex scenes.

Other benefits (beside the obvious) -- I try to use it to make certain that nothing gets skipped in the scene. It's often too easy to foget that the pants have to be unbuttoned to come off. When having sex, it's obvious. But little details like that neec to be in the story for two reasons: 1) it makes the scene more realistic and 2) it takes time.

Hey! Sex takes time. Good sex doesn't happen in just the three minutes it takes to read a page of prose. Good sex can take hours. For the prose to be believeable, the scene has to have a sense of time passing.

This can be many things happening in a long chain of events, or it can be the focus of the characters finding other things that involve their mind during sex. (And don't tell me you've never looked at the ceiling during sex. Everyone has.)

So, yes, oftentimes, writing stuff that turns me on - I get hot. Sometimes, even hotter on the rewrite.

You have to be a little careful, though. I've been known to mispell more often during the height of a sex scene I'm writing.

(Is that because you're typing with one hand?)


- Judo

 

[Singularity]

Arousal in Five Acts

Does the act of writing arouse this author? Definitely. If it didn't, it wouldn't happen. It goes through several predictable (yet never boring) stages, though.

1. Stretched out in bed, drifitng off to sleep or waking up in the early morning, writing the scene in your head, watching it unfold, listening to the characters speaking, planning the seduction, the arousal, the submission to the inevitable. This is probably the most enjoyable part of the process, since it takes the least amount of work and everything sounds absolutely perfect, to the point that if I had a mind-recorder I would already be a multiple winner of the Pulitzer Prize for erotic fiction (the Laurels, perhaps?).

2. Writing the first draft. Also fun, but still a bit of work. Harder than #1 by a long shot, but the actual crafting of the words, and being amazed as the characters seem to come alive (and come, too) and drag the storyline into unexpected directions (where did those naked, twenty-year old twins come from, anyway, and how did they get into Michelle's story?). I find that I can only write about 1-3 pages at a time, before the arousal factor gets in the way of continuing (if I am in the 'groove' so to speak). Interruptions and rest breaks are both necessary and fun (union rules and all of that).

3. Editing, and editing, and editing. No fun. Not ever. It is like trying to pick that damn piece of corn out from between your teeth. You know you have to do it, and it will feel better when it is done, but you hate having to do it.

4. Reading it aloud for the first-row audience (Michelle). Always a crowd-pleaser and an ego-booster for the author.

5. Reading the feedback (most of it anyway). Arousing in an ego-boosting manner. And enough encouragement to go back and try again.

 

[Bob Waters]

When I'm writing it, I'm not aroused - i.e. 'hard' but I do get turned on when I'm plotting it or reading it after. When I'm doing the actual writing, I'm too focused on the writing to be affected by it.

 

[The_old_man]

Altho my stories are primarily jerkers, I do not become physicaly aroused while writing or editing. Maybe a bit of lubricant leekage. Proof reading however, is a diferent situation. The most arousing is when my wife reads the story aloud as she proofreads it.

 

[NaughtyMike]

Can a person write a hot sex scene and not be personally aroused by it?

For those of you who have written a lot of erotic stories, are you still as aroused as you once were when writing the sex scenes?

I get aroused writing about certain people, since the people are real people from my own life. It is a "memory thing" sometimes combined with fantasy. I occasionally must take a "breather" writing certain pieces. In my personal writings, "Terry Takes on the Navy" and "Three for Tammy" got me aroused while writing them, while the rest of my writings had little effect. In the aforementioned stories I used my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend in the title role and placed them in situations with my friends in a scene that could have happened... and might have happened considering my memory. I didn't bother to change names or places, so it made it especially real for me. In my "On the Block" series, which are basically true stories, I had virtually no arousal while writing them.

I have trouble writing a sex scene, or prolonging one. I will typically write a story, go back and add details to the sex scene, because it wasn't steamy enough. I tend to concentrate on events, details and humor in my stories, which for some people makes whacking difficult according to my feed back.

 

[TheEarl]

A lot of my stories start off originally as fantasies, so I suppose in that sense, they get me aroused. However when I'm writing them, they do very little or nothing for me. Even when I re-read my stories later, they do nothing for me, as I'm too involved in my own writing rather than the plot.

This is coming from the most amateur author on the site, so there's your comparison point.

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

If I don't get aroused by writing a story, I don't bother posting it - it's just not good enough.

 

[Whispersecret]

If I don't get aroused by writing a story, I don't bother posting it - it's just not good enough.

See that's my question. Not WHETHER you get aroused or not, but whether a scene can be HOT even if the writer isn't! (During writing.)

Svenska thinks her scenes aren't good unless she's aroused. Anyone else share that view?

I HOPE that's not the case, because I don't always get aroused, but I think my scenes are pretty steamy. Can we look objectively at our scenes and accurately separate the writing from the physical response?

 

[damppanties]

Okay, so while I'm writing it, I don't get aroused bcos I'm too much into what words to use, which ones to leave out and all that. When I'm editing, I do sometimes get aroused but not much. Mostly I just realise that the scene is hot and nicely written. I guess I avoid getting aroused because I am looking at my story critically at all times. That robs the 'getting aroused' thing for me.

-DP.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

OK, maybe I need to clarify myself.

We all have different turn-ons. Mine does NOT include anal sex or old ladies or incest or non-consent. BUT, I can get aroused writing a scene that includes, for example, a brutal butt-fuck, just because the feelings between the two lovers are so intense, so exciting. I can get sexually aroused from the sex my characters are having, or I can get just generaly aroused from the non-sexual interaction between the characters.

But if what I'm writing doesn't affect me in either way, then I doubt that it's gonna interest my readers either. And I don't bother spending hours creating something that the reader will back away from after nthe first 10 lines.

 

[VeraGem]

Svenska thinks her scenes aren't good unless she's aroused. Anyone else share that view?

Absolutely - in fact, I have a ton of half-finished stuff that sits abandoned because it wasn't taking me anywhere. My feeling is that if I can't get aroused by it, if I don't feel anything at all, how do I expect to communicate the character's excitement to the readers?

I like to let the scenes play across my mind as if I were watching in real life. I try not to worry too much about the little red and green lines in word that keep telling me I screwed up - that's what rewrites are for. I just let things go wild, then fix the mistakes later. I find that for me, worrying about the perfection of a piece during first-draft is the best way to destroy its spontaneity.

I'm just glad I learned to do rewrites. Some of my earlier stuff can be a real grammar-gag, if you know what I mean.

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

I definately get aroused while writing. Guess that's why it sometimes takes me a week to write a 1 lit page story LOL. I write mostly to vent my sexual frustrations in the first place so my writing serves several purposes.
Wicked

 

[whatsinanameuk]

Excitement

I find in writing to threads I do get horny even in some PMs - but that's another story and I have yet to write an actual story.

 

[smilingblues]

Whispersecret,

Your question was very interesting. It's so easy to be honest when answering this because no one can see me and know one knows me. What I'm finding as I go along is that for me, writing an erotic story is a release of sorts. It allows me to feel inside my mind what I'm not feeling in my real life.

When I start to write, it's always with the idea of my story being romantic in nature. What happens is that as the characters develop, they become friends of mine. Sometimes, well, most times, I put myself in the place of the female character and I act out in my head exactly what it is I'm feeling, how I'm acting, what is happening all around me. This leads me to have the emotional connection I need in order to express my inner desires in the best way I possibly can.

Like others who posted before me, I write for myself mainly. There is someone I share stories with but only to see if he can feel a stirring from eroticism caused my words. I truly do believe in the power of the word and how you use it. Something so small as the word "gliding" can have such an impact when used in such a way as to signify the feeling of a finger or a tongue or a pair of lips gently moving across moist, warm skin, don't you think?

Yes, I write to release the inner emotions that are inside me, I write to feel the embrace of a lover as he whispers so softly inside my ear causing me to shiver and tremble while his fingers are gliding ever so gently across my face. I write because I need an outlet, I write because if I didn't, I'd go completely crazy.

This is how I also write my poetry. Only when you write those shortened versions, those single moments in time, you need to capture your sensuality very quickly. It doesn't matter if you're writing about sharing an ice cream cone or if your making love on the lush, green carpet of grass. It's all the same - it's an outlet for me. Sensuality is how you feel something, how it affects you, how it moves you. An apple can be sensuous - it's all in how you display it to others.

I'm so sorry - I'm getting carried away. This wasn't meant to be a novel - they are just my thoughts.

 

[its Leslie]

Hmmmm I like sharing my thoughts when I write of course (otherwise why post em eh).

I seem to write better with a set of full balls though (any of you guys notice this detail?).

I usually write a story, then jack off. Hell if it is non erotica then I naturally won't have been actively concentrating on sex. But after an hour or more of thinking of sex in detail, yep the pants are coming off and I am unloading my balls in some manner.
In my wife is best of course.

 

[Sabledrake]

I tend not to get aroused during the actual writing of the story (and since most of the time I write at work, that's a GOOD thing). But thinking up the idea often does warm things up a bit

Sabledrake

 

[TheEarl]

I don't get aroused at all when I writing, but I've had several feedbacks saying that my sex scenes are hot, so they must be doing something for somebody.

The Earl

PS. Nice new av, Svenskaflicka

 

[Guest]

method writing

Can a person write a hot sex scene and not be personally aroused by it?

Been following this thread and waiting to post. Wanted to spend some days thinking and observing...

I am unable to respond personally, because I don't bother to write a first draft of a sex scene unless I want to be aroused. I may sort through plot and character stuff, but if I am not "going that direction" I just don't write it.

When I re-write I am more focused on the technical side of repetitive words, sentence structures and gaps of information... did she actually ever get her bra taken off?... I get a better sense if the sex scene is "hot" in this phase... if in the midst of sorting through the verb agreements I am aroused by the writing then I know it is the piece that is arousing me and not just the original fantasy.

To answer your question , Whisper, I am certain it is possible. In every art/craft... music, drama, literature.... there are times when the artist doesn't emotionally connect with the piece and yet it greatly moves the audience. I think that technical expertise and great familiarity with the genre are prerequisites for this, though. So I wouldn't be surprised if you produce "hot" material even though it doesn't move you.

We all know that it is possible to elicit an emotional or sexual response from someone without being emotionally engaged or turned on. It happens every day in happy relationships and in commercial transactions. Some will protest that they "know" whether it is "real or not" and are not turned on by it if it is "fake". For some this is true, but there is a whole industry built on the foundations that certain content arouses a whole lot of people that couldn't care less whether the "source" of the content was truly aroused when they produced the material.

This reminds me of the classic scene from "When Harry Met Sally" when Meg Ryan "climaxes" in the restaurant... How many of we women were busted by that scene?

 

[Guest]

LOL..........

I don't know about you Whisper........but for me, after I've written a fairly intense sexual scene, I need to take a break and light up a smoke..........

Sort of like in the movies I guess.....but works for me! <wink>

I remain,