Personal Ad Research
- Thread starter jerryguy
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strgzr1230
Experienced
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- Jan 21, 2004
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Jerry,
Many people don't even look at ads with no photo. Just the way it works. People want to know what they are getting I guess. I find funny light hearted ads to be more interesting, IMHO.
Many people don't even look at ads with no photo. Just the way it works. People want to know what they are getting I guess. I find funny light hearted ads to be more interesting, IMHO.
jupiter lilly
Really Experienced
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- Jan 14, 2004
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- 271
I think the fact that there is no picture probably plays into it. Sad but true, I think that whether people get hung up on looks or not, they want to see a picture. It helps to make the whole situation slightly more personal I think...assuming the person is being truthful and actually using a picture of themselves, you get a lot of visual information to go along with the written profile.
For me, online personals started out mostly as curiosity, and frustration with my dating options. I met some people who were definately not my type and had not be completely up front with my about certain things. Obviously you learn to be careful...
However...I am dating a guy right now that I met through an online personals site. We've been together for almost 5 months now, and I really love him. He is kind and intelligent and funny and pretty much the best lover I have ever been with. I know I definately lucked out in meeting him...it made all of the not so wonderful experiences seem worthwhile.
For me, online personals started out mostly as curiosity, and frustration with my dating options. I met some people who were definately not my type and had not be completely up front with my about certain things. Obviously you learn to be careful...
However...I am dating a guy right now that I met through an online personals site. We've been together for almost 5 months now, and I really love him. He is kind and intelligent and funny and pretty much the best lover I have ever been with. I know I definately lucked out in meeting him...it made all of the not so wonderful experiences seem worthwhile.
I go for sincerity. If you post up there and say, hey, this is the first one I've ever done...then it gets my attention. If you are kind to yourself in your description, and if it appears you are serious about whatever it is you are looking for and not just 'testing the waters', then I pay even more attention.
Well-spoken, articulate, friendly...I look for those things.
S.
Well-spoken, articulate, friendly...I look for those things.
S.
Like you heard before the photo thing is probably the problem. I just went out on a date Monday night with a man I meet from a personals site. We had a great time and will probably meet again so don't give up hope. Just give it sometime. People really do meet on the sites. I would try though to get a photo up of yourself on there. If you don't know how to do that is there a friend or someone you can trust that you might ask to help you with that?
asiasiren
Really Experienced
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- Feb 12, 2004
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- 114
If I were to check out the personals I would want to see a picture. At least something to get my curiosity up.
I would think that because you are married would eliminate some of the interested people. Of course, there are some looking for the same thing you are.
What are your feeling when you are looking at personals? What do you want to have available to you? That is where you need to start with your personal.
I would think that because you are married would eliminate some of the interested people. Of course, there are some looking for the same thing you are.
What are your feeling when you are looking at personals? What do you want to have available to you? That is where you need to start with your personal.
JRaven
Nearly 20 years here
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- Nov 9, 2003
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- 1,702
Dont forget percentages
Jerry,
The other thing you need to consider is just how many women are looking for how many available men? I've had a personal ad on a web site and got about 20 emails per day!
The fact of the matter is, you have a lot of competition. But don't get discouraged. Use better tactics. A smiling photo of yourself is a must. A picture of just your dick is not going to win you anything. (Except maybe a few gays) After that, be yourself. If you're not a very funny guy, don't try to be funny. One, it won't work. Two, you'll miss out on the gal looking for somebody that can be serious.
Just be yourself and show us what your smile looks like.
Jenny
Jerry,
The other thing you need to consider is just how many women are looking for how many available men? I've had a personal ad on a web site and got about 20 emails per day!
The fact of the matter is, you have a lot of competition. But don't get discouraged. Use better tactics. A smiling photo of yourself is a must. A picture of just your dick is not going to win you anything. (Except maybe a few gays) After that, be yourself. If you're not a very funny guy, don't try to be funny. One, it won't work. Two, you'll miss out on the gal looking for somebody that can be serious.
Just be yourself and show us what your smile looks like.
Jenny
millieteases
Only Connect
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- Jul 27, 2002
- Posts
- 2,347
All of this sounds pretty reasonable to me - but pay attention to the biggest thing - and it's not a picture even though that helps.
I'm making something of a judgment hear, but it's your life, not mine.
You're a married man looking for a married woman. In other words, you want to cheat on your wife with somebody who wants to cheat on her husband.
You just limited yourself immensely - far beyond the picture issue. Most people who are interested in swinging, in my admittedly limited experience, aren't interested in cheating. Rather, they are interested in people in legitimately open relationships, or better, who are swinging as a couple. If you're not trustworthy with your spouse, how can you be trusted with someone you're cheating with? You've just raised the risk factor immensely - and these relationships need a significant trust factor. It will probably be tough to find someone who is willing to take this risk, but if you write enough e-mails, and make them sincere rather than the far too typical - I will rock your world with my enormous dick - kind of letter you might find someone.
I'm making something of a judgment hear, but it's your life, not mine.
You're a married man looking for a married woman. In other words, you want to cheat on your wife with somebody who wants to cheat on her husband.
You just limited yourself immensely - far beyond the picture issue. Most people who are interested in swinging, in my admittedly limited experience, aren't interested in cheating. Rather, they are interested in people in legitimately open relationships, or better, who are swinging as a couple. If you're not trustworthy with your spouse, how can you be trusted with someone you're cheating with? You've just raised the risk factor immensely - and these relationships need a significant trust factor. It will probably be tough to find someone who is willing to take this risk, but if you write enough e-mails, and make them sincere rather than the far too typical - I will rock your world with my enormous dick - kind of letter you might find someone.
oh and also
Also, of course women are at a huge advantage here. I'm sure that any personals from women get 1,000,000 replies. That's just human nature, for the most part we guys are wooers and you lovely creatures are the wooed, pursued and eventually our captors.
ahhhh but how sweet the reward for the man who can overcome the odds !
Also, of course women are at a huge advantage here. I'm sure that any personals from women get 1,000,000 replies. That's just human nature, for the most part we guys are wooers and you lovely creatures are the wooed, pursued and eventually our captors.
ahhhh but how sweet the reward for the man who can overcome the odds !
millieteases
Only Connect
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Do you want the George Bush, secret plan to create a Christian Theocracy in the U.S. , answer or the moral relativist you have to make the decision for yourself and anything you decide is good answer?
There are no easy answers despite what some may think. Your spouse is in a coma for years situation? What if she comes out of it while you're in the saddle? Had her legally declared dead? James Garner and Doris Day went through it in an old movie. It ain't fun - cheating is cheating, with all the emotional baggage and guilt that goes along with that, as well as all the normal risks of STD's, social disapproval, etc.
You spouse is already cheating on you? Just makes the divorce messier.
Personally, I say suck it up and sort out the situation with your spouse first. If it's the seven-year itch, forget it. Go on a tantric retreat/marriage encounter or whatever and renew yourselves. If it's illness, talk about it. Masturbation is always an option. There's also a lot of sex without vaginal penetration if that's an issue, anal, oral, hands, etc. Cheating because you're just unhappy will probably just make life more difficult.
In short, deal with the situation with your spouse first. If you get back together and work on it your lives are better. If you figure out it's time to end it, get the divorce and move on. If your spouse is in a coma, there are lots of masturbation toys that are modeled on the real thing. If it's the friendship and closeness you miss, try making a nonsexual friend. Ministers and counselors can help.
In short, act in a trustworthy manner and you make things a lot easier for yourself and everyone you deal with. Don't and you have to remember which lie you told to which person, when and keep it all straight in your mind. Too much trouble, in my opinion.
There are no easy answers despite what some may think. Your spouse is in a coma for years situation? What if she comes out of it while you're in the saddle? Had her legally declared dead? James Garner and Doris Day went through it in an old movie. It ain't fun - cheating is cheating, with all the emotional baggage and guilt that goes along with that, as well as all the normal risks of STD's, social disapproval, etc.
You spouse is already cheating on you? Just makes the divorce messier.
Personally, I say suck it up and sort out the situation with your spouse first. If it's the seven-year itch, forget it. Go on a tantric retreat/marriage encounter or whatever and renew yourselves. If it's illness, talk about it. Masturbation is always an option. There's also a lot of sex without vaginal penetration if that's an issue, anal, oral, hands, etc. Cheating because you're just unhappy will probably just make life more difficult.
In short, deal with the situation with your spouse first. If you get back together and work on it your lives are better. If you figure out it's time to end it, get the divorce and move on. If your spouse is in a coma, there are lots of masturbation toys that are modeled on the real thing. If it's the friendship and closeness you miss, try making a nonsexual friend. Ministers and counselors can help.
In short, act in a trustworthy manner and you make things a lot easier for yourself and everyone you deal with. Don't and you have to remember which lie you told to which person, when and keep it all straight in your mind. Too much trouble, in my opinion.
Sybarist
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2003
- Posts
- 106
OMG I am soo with Millie on this!!!
I don't care how easy it is for some people to think up "good reasons to cheat". There is never a "good reason". IMO cheating on your spouse is cheating on your spouse, no matter what the reason. For god's sake be a man (or woman) and take care of things before you go bringing other people into the picture!!
We are talking real people with real lives, responsibilities, and emotions here, not some fantasy porn star with no real name and/or life signs after you are done screwing with them. What about children? Do you have them? Will she? What if you make some? What kind of an example would you be setting for them if you go and screw around on a woman you have sworn to love "until death do us part"?
I don't look at the personals because they usually make me laugh (it's easy, I am not searching for anything!), and I wouldn't like to think about someone reading something from me and laughing at me for it. If I did, I would skip over the "married looking for..." ones on principle. Can you tell I've a close relationship with someone who got cheated on? Do you want to hear the story of how she degraded herself trying to get the bastard back? Do you want her to come and tell you about her years of therapy and soul-searching since she was destroyed by some male who thought his reason was "good enough" to destroy 8 years of marriage?
I'd say "Yeah definately", post your smug, smiling face picture so I can hope that someone who knows you IRL can see what a totally trustworthy person you have turned out to be....
.... Speaking for "comatose" women everywhere.....
Syb.
I don't care how easy it is for some people to think up "good reasons to cheat". There is never a "good reason". IMO cheating on your spouse is cheating on your spouse, no matter what the reason. For god's sake be a man (or woman) and take care of things before you go bringing other people into the picture!!
We are talking real people with real lives, responsibilities, and emotions here, not some fantasy porn star with no real name and/or life signs after you are done screwing with them. What about children? Do you have them? Will she? What if you make some? What kind of an example would you be setting for them if you go and screw around on a woman you have sworn to love "until death do us part"?
I don't look at the personals because they usually make me laugh (it's easy, I am not searching for anything!), and I wouldn't like to think about someone reading something from me and laughing at me for it. If I did, I would skip over the "married looking for..." ones on principle. Can you tell I've a close relationship with someone who got cheated on? Do you want to hear the story of how she degraded herself trying to get the bastard back? Do you want her to come and tell you about her years of therapy and soul-searching since she was destroyed by some male who thought his reason was "good enough" to destroy 8 years of marriage?
I'd say "Yeah definately", post your smug, smiling face picture so I can hope that someone who knows you IRL can see what a totally trustworthy person you have turned out to be....
.... Speaking for "comatose" women everywhere.....
Syb.
Missingmeds
Just being
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2003
- Posts
- 25,831
The other thing with personal ads is the number of liars that you are going to get that will talk the talk, but that is as far as it goes.
I have had several men respond to ads on different sites only to make a date and then not have them show up. No phone call, no email, no nothing. So be prepared for that to you too.
I have had several men respond to ads on different sites only to make a date and then not have them show up. No phone call, no email, no nothing. So be prepared for that to you too.
SanDguy_22
Evil Genius In Disguise
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2002
- Posts
- 4,522
hell
I have had the same experience with women....
a lot of liars and flakes out there.
Of and as a general point....
I would say that for every 100 replies you put out there you will only get 1-5 replies.
out of that you will only get a good 5% rate on the continuity of those conversations.
So out of a batch of 1000 posts you might get 1 possibility for a date.
Mind you that number gets divvied up over a time of 6-12 months so its not that bad.
So on average you might get a hit once per year... if you are lucky.
Just on a personal note....
you would be better off calling an escort service and paying for the "feminine company" that way.
with regular women you spend the money on food and alcohol to pay for sex or as with hookers you give it to them derectly. ( choice is yours.)
I have had the same experience with women....
a lot of liars and flakes out there.
Of and as a general point....
I would say that for every 100 replies you put out there you will only get 1-5 replies.
out of that you will only get a good 5% rate on the continuity of those conversations.
So out of a batch of 1000 posts you might get 1 possibility for a date.
Mind you that number gets divvied up over a time of 6-12 months so its not that bad.
So on average you might get a hit once per year... if you are lucky.
Just on a personal note....
you would be better off calling an escort service and paying for the "feminine company" that way.
with regular women you spend the money on food and alcohol to pay for sex or as with hookers you give it to them derectly. ( choice is yours.)
