Pent up lust

[Guest]

I am a young woman in a loving relationship with an older man. Unfortunatly we have are experincing difficulties in the sexual dept.

I love sex and find myself getting horny an auful lot. I find soft porn a turn on and used to take part in threesomes and enjoy a very good, varied, and satisfying sex life. A

My partner finds my prefences distasteful and seems unwilling to experiment even mildly with me. (He nearly died when I brought out the whipped cream) He thinks that it is sluttish behaviour, although he has had more partners than I.

I have tried everything in my power to make him feel secure with me, but nothing will budge him.

I am even touching myself at work to release some of this pent up tension, and am afriad that I will end up cheating on him just to release this lust.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can encourage him to want a more exciting sex life with me?

 

[Greg Lee Hunt]

Estelle,

How great is the age differential between you? Has your lover been married or in a long term committed relationship before?

I have a few suggestions for you. First, You may want to read something erotic together or you may want to write a deeply felt personal letter to your lover -- telling him why these things are important to you. Second, the two of you may want to schedule and appoint or two with a licensed sex therapist. Third, on some important occasion such as a birthday, Valentine's Day, or an anniversary of your being together, give him a gift of a romantic weekend getaway. Tell him that this is a special weekend and that this is a time to do some of the special things that you have wanted to do together. Ask him about his fantasies and fulfill them. Then have him fulfill yours. Do it all in a non-threatening way.

I speak from experience. When I married my wife, her attitude was like that of your lover. We tried some of the above and it worked. We don't do these kinds of things everyday, but often enough to make our sex life interesting. I hope that this helps. I wish you luck!!

 

[Guest]

Greg, thanks for the kind advice.

I'm 22 and he is 34. Perhaps I should try and ease things in for him a bit (for want of a better expression).

And I suppose that if it doesn't work, I could always try to find someone else to play with!

Many thanks once again.

 

[Lasher]

I could always try to find someone else to play with!

Yes, that must be a very loving relationship.

He thinks that it is sluttish behaviour, although he has had more partners than I.

Sounds like he's already done his experimenting. When you know what you like, you know what you like.

What it sounds like is that it's time for you to move on. Especially if the sexual aspects of the relationship are more important to you then being with some one that is "loving".



[This message has been edited by Lasher99 (edited 02-28-2000).]