Pea Pod - By Wholeman

[Wholemanz]

Story name: Pea Pod

Author name: Wholeman

Catagory: Transexual And Crossdressers

Link:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=165845

This story could exist in more categories than this. It crosses many boundaries. It is Science Fiction, Deals with a change of gender, has FM sex and FF sex, Lesbians, could be erotic horror and inter-racial sex. (Sex with aliens)

It is a bit on the long side so it is almost a novella.

I hope you enjoy it

There is a second story of mine posted now. 'Secret - Strong Enough For A Man'

Ever pick up the wrong product when you are in a hurry? Did you use it anyway? If you did, did you make sure to read the label carefully before you used it?

Our hero's life changes drastically afte just on little mistake...

Wholeman

 

[Wholemanz]

Next

Story Name: Pea Pod - The Return

Author: Wholeman

Category: Transsexual And Crossdressers

Link:
Pea Pod - The Return

Like the first story, this one crosses many genres.

Queen Dolly Gift From God Gordon tells what happens when the U.S. Government finds out about the portal. First they tried to take it. Lucky for Dolly, Francis is a good attorney.

Well, obviously they are going back to Ka'an. (Ka'an is Mayan for heaven) They bring an ambassador with them and it gets convoluted from there.

You get to learn about amazons, marines, plants, and starships.

Teased enough? No? There is plenty of lesbian sex to read about too. That's all I'm tellin’ for now.

I hope you enjoy it.

Wholeman

 

[Wholemanz]

In The Cue

There are currently three stories of mine in the cue.

Tanks For The Mammaries, Cloned!, and Purty Prison Guard.

They should be available for your enjoyment soon.

Cloned! and Purty Prison Guard are submitted in the Erotic Horror category, and Tanks For the Mammaries is submitted in the Transsexuals & Crossdressers category.

All of these could easily fit in other categories, scfi, Tg, BnD, Lesbian, etc.

Please do not let whatever category they show up in to dissuade you from reading them. Horror in one person's eye, could be just deserts to another's.

No one dies. No one is deprived of a future. Some of their aspirations change though...

There are, no miracle sexual preference changes either.

However there is always some guy who will have to deal with peeing in the seated position.

Here is hoping you enjoy them when they are put up.

Wholeman

 

[BlackShanglan]

Dear Wholemanz,

First, let me say that I found the imagery and basic plot of your story "Pea Pod" very erotic and stimulating. This surprised me; I'd never really thought of the plant kingdom as especially sexual, but your image of the insatiable flower was certainly a fascinating one in the way that it combined utter isolation and utter sensory stimulation. The transformation was also delightful and intriguing, and I enjoyed the narrator's experiences as he reacts to this transformation. I was not able to read much past the second Lit page - duty calls at home - but I enjoyed as far as I read and hope to get back to finish this story some day.

That said, there were some elements that detracted from my enjoyment of the story as well, so I wanted to mention them. I think that some modest effort in these areas would improve your story so that your very interesting ideas get the showcasing that they deserve.

1) Verb tenses. Your story often shifts from the present tense ("I am walking / I walk") to the past tense ("I walked") and back again. It's rather distracting, and of course you would like the audience to focus on your fascinating eroticism and not on asking "why did he change verb tense there?"

2) At first I found the absolute familiarity of the food and drink (i.e., brandy that tastes exactly like brandy, chocolate mints, etc.) rather unlikely. I realized later that this made sense - I wondered if it would - with Meka's apparent ability to rework reality. What would have helped earlier would have been some recognition on the narrator's part that there was something damned strange about finding chocolate mints in the jungle.

3) "Mr. Happy." Please. Don't. It's just not working.

4) Ditto on "my other butt / asshole." It just comes across offputting. One would assume he'd be a bit less offhand about suddenly having a vagina, anyway.

5) Exclamation points. There's nothing inherently wrong with an exclamation point. It's a useful way of emphasizing a line and making it stand out from the others as particularly exciting. The problem comes when one uses three or four exclamation-pointed sentences in a row, as you occasionally do. The issue is that you can't emphasize everything; emphasis works by making something stand out in comparison to what's around it. By using exclamation points profusely, you don't make everything sound exciting; you rob the punctuation of its value and make everything sound equal. If you trim back the number you use, they will have more effect. Right now, they just sound a bit over-excited.


Just my handful of scattered thoughts I did quite enjoy the story, and I wish you much luck with it -

Shanglan

 

[Wholemanz]

Have you ever had a little girl around?

Brought up a daughter maybe?

How does a young girl refer to her Vulva?

She calls it her butt. The reason should be apparent.

Now as a man, who feels his cock being stimulated, and a plant tendril shoved up your butt, in the throws of ecstasy, so much you are passing out all of the time. Now describe to me since you believe you still have your berries and twig, how it feels to have a second tendril up inside you?

Now remember to young girls, that is their butt. You just got a vulva, and have nothing to compare that feeling to. This is the logic used to derive, 'My other butt?'

Of course you cannot know what a woman feels anymore than a woman can truly know what it feels like to have something dangling between their legs all of the time.

True, there are operations, but do they truly make women? Does a transsexual experience the same feelings that a genetic woman does?

Now, I feel my description has to be at least as good and anybody else’s.

As to "Mr. Happy," you really cannot be so far out of the loop not to have seen a Robin Williams stand up routine?

I know most of the people who read it saw the connection right away.

As far as a few misplaced tenses, that is not a story critique. That is a frustrated schoolteacher complaint.

Oh, and 'Tastes like' means it does not taste the same, just similar. The reference to chocolate though could have been due to the cocoa plant having been brought to earth by the Ka'anians in our distant past.

You might not tie that in maybe until you read further though.

Wholeman

 

[BlackShanglan]

Thank you for your responses. I am very sorry that my feedback was dissapointing to you, but I shall certainly attempt not to so offend in the future.

All the best -

Shanglan

 

[Wholemanz]

Trojan Whores

Trojan Whores went up and I am super pleased with the great number of reads it has gotten is such a short time.

Big Hug

Wholeman