TabooTeller
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2003
- Posts
- 147
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=124031
Good story, well told. The set up was good as was the descriptions of the people and actions even though I am not sure if that strong a warning was really needed. Nice touch where Pat shot that one guy and it reveals more about Pat too. For those who have read the other stories in this series. The violence wasn’t really that extreme and it did not go into sharply focus details. Good erotic well explained sex scene too but to bad there was only one.
I will say that I knew the old man was going to help, that was kinda obvious to those who have read a lot of stories like this but at the same time it fit. I also knew she was going to be pregnant when they were having loving sex, at the end. A nice little reward for doing a good job. I add though that I cheated a bit with both. I scanned through it at first so I knew someone helped them and it was logical that the old man was more than he seemed. And I know from other stories that there was a set of twins so they had to have had another child or two. But I would have been able to figure that out anyway the way Patricia set it up.
Neither of these statements should be taken as extreme criticism. I do have a couple little problems with the story but those two details are not them. It was good that they be rewarded even though it was easy to figure how they would be.
I mean little problems because they did not ruin or mess up the story for me. The main problem is that I don’t know who the Patron Saint of Police officers is. Or I should say I can’t recall right now. The only Michael I know is an archangel not a saint. Second is where did Pat learn about Grenades? Thirdly how did the media learn of it to show up with the rest of the police? Or did they show up later and I missed something? And lastly. Only eight bodies? With all that shooting and two explosions seems like they should have been more plus wouldn’t something like that have 13 participants? Of course the other five could have escaped, since some tried to leave or got sucked up by whatever took care of the bad guy.
There might have been something else I wanted say and if I think of it later or think of something new I will add a PS. So I will close by saying if you haven’t read it yet do so and check out the other stories by Patricia51
TabooTeller
Good story, well told. The set up was good as was the descriptions of the people and actions even though I am not sure if that strong a warning was really needed. Nice touch where Pat shot that one guy and it reveals more about Pat too. For those who have read the other stories in this series. The violence wasn’t really that extreme and it did not go into sharply focus details. Good erotic well explained sex scene too but to bad there was only one.
I will say that I knew the old man was going to help, that was kinda obvious to those who have read a lot of stories like this but at the same time it fit. I also knew she was going to be pregnant when they were having loving sex, at the end. A nice little reward for doing a good job. I add though that I cheated a bit with both. I scanned through it at first so I knew someone helped them and it was logical that the old man was more than he seemed. And I know from other stories that there was a set of twins so they had to have had another child or two. But I would have been able to figure that out anyway the way Patricia set it up.
Neither of these statements should be taken as extreme criticism. I do have a couple little problems with the story but those two details are not them. It was good that they be rewarded even though it was easy to figure how they would be.
I mean little problems because they did not ruin or mess up the story for me. The main problem is that I don’t know who the Patron Saint of Police officers is. Or I should say I can’t recall right now. The only Michael I know is an archangel not a saint. Second is where did Pat learn about Grenades? Thirdly how did the media learn of it to show up with the rest of the police? Or did they show up later and I missed something? And lastly. Only eight bodies? With all that shooting and two explosions seems like they should have been more plus wouldn’t something like that have 13 participants? Of course the other five could have escaped, since some tried to leave or got sucked up by whatever took care of the bad guy.
There might have been something else I wanted say and if I think of it later or think of something new I will add a PS. So I will close by saying if you haven’t read it yet do so and check out the other stories by Patricia51
TabooTeller
