Parting Gifts

[Blushing Bottom]

Any of you who have read my posts know how new I am to BDSM and know I dont have many answers but do have many questions.

Well anyway I went to dinner tonight with a Dom from my area...agreed upon meet and greet only. We had a good time, talked, laughed and flirted a lot. Then it was time to go and he asked me to walk him to his car as he wanted to give me something. We got to the car and he reached inside and pulled out a rather long package,handed it to me and said "don't open it until you get home."

Amazingly enough I listened and boy was I glad I had. For when I did get home and tear open the package out fell a riding crop and a card. The card was beautiful, depicting a bound nude well presented for whatever her Dom had in mind. On the inside a short note..."think of me."

I think I blushed down to my toes and still haven't regained full composure. Is this a normal behavior for a Dom?

 

[Solitude]

Depends upon the Dom.


Personally I'd take it as a great compliment. Obviously he could have just as easily skipped the gift had the meeting not gone to his liking.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Your thoughts please me. They are in line with mine but one dares not jump to any conclusion.

Depends upon the Dom.


Personally I'd take it as a great compliment. Obviously he could have just as easily skipped the gift had the meeting not gone to his liking.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

I'm not typical, but I have taken gifts to meets, on the chance that things went well, I could leave her something tangible as a token of esteem.

Yeah, I think you really made a good impression.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Gift?

On a first meeting ? ? ? ? Never heard of anyone doing such before, it sure isn't customary in the circles I hang around in, even for 'nillas. He must have a lot more disposable income than I do.

*grins and shrugs*

With me, they're lucky if I offer to pick up the tab on a first meet.

Sounds like a very sweet, kinky perv, BB, but don't expect that from everyone.

 

[DVS]

I'm not typical, but I have taken gifts to meets, on the chance that things went well, I could leave her something tangible as a token of esteem.

Yeah, I think you really made a good impression.

He's thinking that crop will make a few good impressions on her ass, in the future. And, if she keeps it, if they eventually become a couple, he can have her bring it to him, and she will know what he has in mind.

It's not a bad thing, but it can be used in his favor, too. She's keeper of the toy and he, being the Dom can have her bring him the implement of her punishment, like a good submissive should. His giving it to her makes her think about it, whenever she thinks of him.

He's just playing the game, but it's not a bad game. It's the game of power, and control, potential Dom and sub. The crop works like a catylist, in a small but effective way to keep her mind where he wants it.

 

[rozezwild]

Any of you who have read my posts know how new I am to BDSM and know I dont have many answers but do have many questions.

Well anyway I went to dinner tonight with a Dom from my area...agreed upon meet and greet only. We had a good time, talked, laughed and flirted a lot. Then it was time to go and he asked me to walk him to his car as he wanted to give me something. We got to the car and he reached inside and pulled out a rather long package,handed it to me and said "don't open it until you get home."

Amazingly enough I listened and boy was I glad I had. For when I did get home and tear open the package out fell a riding crop and a card. The card was beautiful, depicting a bound nude well presented for whatever her Dom had in mind. On the inside a short note..."think of me."

I think I blushed down to my toes and still haven't regained full composure. Is this a normal behavior for a Dom?

It could be seen as a couple of different ways -- one he liked you and wanted you to think of him and 2 he wanted you to know that you hold your punishment/pleasure in your hands

Hell i think it was nice because if it hadnt gone well -- you wouldnt have gotten what you did

 

[Blushing Bottom]

She's keeper of the toy and he, being the Dom can have her bring him the implement of her punishment, like a good submissive should.

I do like the way you think.

 

[sincerely_helene]

I'm not sure I'd be as comfortable as most of the others who have posted so far. I would probably feel it too presumptuous even under the best of circumstances for a first date, but admittedly I'm also not the best one to give advice in such matters.

As long as you don't feel his gesture was a way of pressuring you into a bdsm type situation sooner than you are prepared for (especially since it is new to you,) then I guess there is nothing wrong with revelling in the romance of the sentiment. To me, it would feel too much like he was implying that the second date will result in a good hard cropping and fucking, and it would make me reluctant to meet again. You ready for that sort of expectation?

(Wow. I AM boring. Sorry. )

 

[NoJo]

I'm not sure I'd be as comfortable as most of the others who have posted so far. I would probably feel it too presumptuous even under the best of circumstances for a first date, but admittedly I'm also not the best one to give advice in such matters.

As long as you don't feel his gesture was a way of pressuring you into a bdsm type situation sooner than you are prepared for (especially since it is new to you,) then I guess there is nothing wrong with revelling in the romance of the sentiment. To me, it would feel too much like he was implying that the second date will result in a good hard cropping and fucking, and it would make me reluctant to meet again. You ready for that sort of expectation?

(Wow. I AM boring. Sorry. )

(Taking notes)

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

(Wow. I AM boring. Sorry. )

Boring? you? boring? I highly doubt that. Cautious sure, but never boring.

Especially not if you wear a corset and victorian boots with stockings

 

[alice_underneath]

Hi, BB.

I agree with the others here who say that you clearly made a good first impression. Also, I admire your initiative and courage in taking those first steps out into the wide, wide world of 3-D doms.

My comments here assume that you did not know this guy very well beforehand. In other words, this meeting was not the culmination of months of intimate contact via Internet and/or phone. Is that right?

On a first meeting ? ? ? ? Never heard of anyone doing such before, it sure isn't customary in the circles I hang around in, even for 'nillas. He must have a lot more disposable income than I do.

I had no idea how much riding crops cost, so I did some quick googling. The Literotica store sells one for $3.50. I found other fetish shops selling riding crops for $10 or $20.

I agree with you that expensive gifts are unusual for a first meeting "even for 'nilla" . But we are not necessarily talking about an expensive gift in this case.

He's thinking that crop will make a few good impressions on her ass, in the future. And, if she keeps it, if they eventually become a couple, he can have her bring it to him, and she will know what he has in mind.

It's not a bad thing, but it can be used in his favor, too. She's keeper of the toy and he, being the Dom can have her bring him the implement of her punishment, like a good submissive should. His giving it to her makes her think about it, whenever she thinks of him.

He's just playing the game, but it's not a bad game. It's the game of power, and control, potential Dom and sub. The crop works like a catylist, in a small but effective way to keep her mind where he wants it.

It may not be a "bad game", but my personal opinion is that this gift (given the timing) is quite presumptuous.

I am not familiar with social conventions in the d/s world, but the vanilla equivalent of this gift might be something like a generous supply of condoms enclosed in a pretty box. Skip the flowers and the dinners and the getting-to-know-you walks in the park. Lets get right down to business here!

Audacity has its benefits, I suppose, particularly for a dom. In fact, I think I remember Mr. Rathbone advising a newbie recently to do just that: Be audacious.

So the strategy could work quite well, but it could also backfire. Depending on what was discussed at dinner and what she herself is looking for, the recipient of the gift might be flattered and very excited. On the other hand, she might be offended by the offering of an intimate gift, when trust & emotional intimacy had not yet been achieved.

Alice

 

[Blushing Bottom]

To me, it would feel too much like he was implying that the second date will result in a good hard cropping and fucking, and it would make me reluctant to meet again. You ready for that sort of expectation?

(Wow. I AM boring. Sorry. )

Being it that I set the limits in all new encounters, I decide what the second date consists of and even IF there is a second date. Was his gift presumptious, perhaps but remember we met with a common goal to determine if we had enough chemistry to engage in a Dom/sub scenario. Knowing this ahead of time more than likely colored his choice of a gift. Oh and romance was never in the equasion.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Being it that I set the limits in all new encounters, I decide what the second date consists of and even IF there is a second date. Was his gift presumptious, perhaps but remember we met with a common goal to determine if we had enough chemistry to engage in a Dom/sub scenario. Knowing this ahead of time more than likely colored his choice of a gift. Oh and romance was never in the equasion.

Hmmm... Apologies. Maybe I misunderstood your question, then.

Congrats, I'm glad you have found someone you connect well with, and no hard feelings I hope.

 

[sincerely_helene]

(Taking notes)

Hey! Give those back!

 

[Blushing Bottom]

No worries pretty girl. Hard is not a condition for feelings...now other things....

Hmmm... Apologies. Maybe I misunderstood your question, then.

Congrats, I'm glad you have found someone you connect well with, and no hard feelings I hope.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Boring? you? boring? I highly doubt that. Cautious sure, but never boring.

Especially not if you wear a corset and victorian boots with stockings

Victorian boots? What do I look rich??

 

[sincerely_helene]

No worries pretty girl. Hard is not a condition for feelings...now other things....

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Victorian boots? What do I look rich??

SO I shouldn't get a pair for you if we ever meet up?

 

[rosco rathbone]

Audacity has its benefits, I suppose, particularly for a dom. In fact, I think I remember Mr. Rathbone advising a newbie recently to do just that: Be audacious.

This particular kind of thing strikes Mr. Rathbone as cheezey; but that's just a matter of style. Seems like all parties involved are happy with the outcome.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

There is no outcome other than I was a bit taken back by the gift flattered on one hand but mildly outraged on another. My life is often about dichotomy. And my question was if it is a common theme with Doms. I still don't have enough data to make any determination and will even go a step further and ask ... if I should decide to not pursue the relationship should I give the gift back?

This particular kind of thing strikes Mr. Rathbone as cheezey; but that's just a matter of style. Seems like all parties involved are happy with the outcome.

 

[Kajira Callista]

There is no outcome other than I was a bit taken back by the gift flattered on one hand but mildly outraged on another. My life is often about dichotomy. And my question was if it is a common theme with Doms. I still don't have enough data to make any determination and will even go a step further and ask ... if I should decide to not pursue the relationship should I give the gift back?

Did the outrage come from the fact that it was a gift that touched you in that certain submissive spot?


BTW i think your reaction and questioning was exactly the intent of the gift...but that is just my opinion.

 

[NoJo]

Hey! Give those back!

They're illegible and messy. You should use your right hand when you make notes.

 

[sincerely_helene]

They're illegible and messy. You should use your right hand when you make notes.

But it was busy giving you a finger.

What, you don't like my gifts?

 

[sincerely_helene]

SO I shouldn't get a pair for you if we ever meet up?

Well, let us not get hasty here. Expensive footwear is an ok second date gift, for sure!