Part two of my femdom story

[Presider]

I didn’t expect to be affected by the reception of part one, but the positive responses to it made me a little hesitant to write a part two. That being said, here we are, Quashing the Boxer Rebellion Ch. 2:

https://www.literotica.com/s/quashing-the-boxer-rebellion-ch-02

This is a femdom story featuring with the following tags: femdom, muscle mommy, pegging, strap-on, female muscle, feminisation, bodyscissors, gym, strong legs, thighs

If these tags don’t appeal to you, maybe leave this one alone as it’s definitely a niche that not everyone will enjoy, but I hope some do.

It follows on from the story of a boxer being overpowered, submitted and humiliated by female gym attendees he had underestimated. Chapter two is much more sexual.

 

[Gamblnluck]

I found parts a little hard to follow. Just something about how the story flowed. You have the guy return and be given orders and then at one part Chen takes him down or does she? It is all kind of all over the place. I'd have recommended you left the story unread for a couple days, then read it from the view of a reader who might not see it like you do. Would he follow the story line. You have several characters who all seem to despise men, especially boxers. You have one ordering the guy to work around the place, but no real reason for it or why he would. He was jerk in part one but so what? Why did he go back. Hell, why was he there in the first place as the only man. Plus you have way too many tags.

 

[Presider]

I found parts a little hard to follow. Just something about how the story flowed. You have the guy return and be given orders and then at one part Chen takes him down or does she? It is all kind of all over the place. I'd have recommended you left the story unread for a couple days, then read it from the view of a reader who might not see it like you do. Would he follow the story line. You have several characters who all seem to despise men, especially boxers. You have one ordering the guy to work around the place, but no real reason for it or why he would. He was jerk in part one but so what? Why did he go back. Hell, why was he there in the first place as the only man. Plus you have way too many tags.

Thanks for the feedback, I’ll have a good think on the flaws you’ve presented.

With regards to the tags, is there any downside to using all the available tags? I’ve previously been advised to use all ten slots available.