Pardon me. I'm sorry. I apologize in advance.

[SusanJillParker]

Pardon me. I'm sorry. I apologize in advance.

I just wanted to ask a question. Do I have the floor? Can everyone hear me? Can you hear me in the back? Damn, this thread is so big that it echoes. And with all the bright lights I can't even see who's out there.

"Hello? Mom?"

Anyway, here's my question. And I'm not trying to make this a political thread, God forbid. Goodness gracious no. That's the last thing I want to do. Political threads don't belong here. They belong in a different bashing place, anywhere but here, the new and improved albeit censored Author's Forum Board.

Wait! Before I ask my question, I just thought of another question to ask.

Is this thread not called the Author's Hangout/Forum Board? Yes?

Then, why are there so very many posters who post here who have never written a story, not a single word, other than the tens of thousands of nonsensical posts that they post 24/7?

I don't have to name names. You all know who you are. Shame on you for pretending to be authors when you're not.

Okay, back to my original question. Ready? It's a good one. I promise, cross my heart and hope to die...later than sooner.

Did anyone watch the Republican debate? Did I hear Jeb Bush correctly when he said that if he's elected president that he'd pass a law to ban all handguns?

Say what? What did he just say? Hello! No way! I don't believe it! I couldn't believe him? What changed his mind? Did the Mexican cartel get to him?

Seriously? Is that true? No more handguns? But this is America, the country with the 2nd amendment right to bear arms and to shoot anyone for any reason at any time of the day or night. Who in the Hell does Jeb Bush think he is? I swear, if I had my water gun loaded, I'd squirt the bastard.

I couldn't clearly hear everything the candidates said because of all of the distortion from the lies. Every time a politician, sorry, public servant, opens his or her mouth he or she is lying. After a while, you just stop listening, that is, unless Sarah Palin is talking.

She's so pretty. She's so wicked funny when she's saying something that she believes is so smart but is really so stupid. Definitely, I'd vote for her for whatever public service office she's hoping to get.

"I can see Russia from my kitchen window in Alaska," said Sarah in answer to her experience on foreign policy.

Actually, as an aside and not to make this a political thread but the only candidate up there with any foreign policy experience is Donald Trump. Seriously with all the foreign pussy, sorry, whores, sorry, multi-cultural women he's fucked, sorry, romanced and/or married.

Getting back to soon-to-be President Jeb Bush, I thought I heard him say that he wants a law that will tax bullets too.

Wow! A tax on bullets. How about that? I don't believe it. I can't believe it.

Each bullet will cost handgun owners, those who have handguns grandfathered in and purchased before the law, $1,000 a piece. Wow! Holy smokes. One thousand dollars a bullet seems like it awful lot, only not as much as Exxon will soon want for a gallon of gas and almost more than what Bank of (God Bless) America charges in overdraft fees.

If that's the case, then Jeb has my vote. He sure does. Way to go Mr. soon-to-be president.

Seriously, c'mon, let's be honest here. Let's all take a moment to get real. Take a big breath to smell the roses mixed with gun powder.

No one, absolutely no one, should own a handgun except for the police, the military, your mothers, and criminals. Right? Am I right? Tell me I'm right. Give me a fist pump.

God bless America (I have my hand over my heart while standing before saying a prayer in silence and while holding out my hand in hopes that someone will give me money (preferably cash) for my upcoming political campaign chest.)

Damn, forget about hoping to win the lottery, I need to run for political, sorry, public service office.

I wonder how much a dog catcher earns or is that not a public office? I need to run for something safer, gee, I don't know, like Mayor or Governor? Oh, I know, I'll run for President on the Republican ticket.

A dumb, busty, blue-eyed blonde would make for a better president than anyone standing up on that stage last night. Am I right? Another fist pump please.

The first thing that I'd do as the newly elected, first woman president, I'd pass a law that gave free makeup, perfume, and hairstyles to all registered female voters.

The second thing I do is to ban all Caucasian men over the age of 60 from running for and/or holding political office. Enough of these wicked old, erectile dysfunctional men bossing me around and passing laws that only benefits them and ruins my life.

It's the women's turn to run.

"Ladies! Start your engines! Put on your high heels and your Wonderbras. We're all going to Washington."

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Hahahaha...right.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

In the old days PILOT rode my ass about no posted LIT stories, now my total is over 100. I've written since I was a child. The state paid me lotsa money to write judicial reviews and evaluations and pre-dispositional reports and psycho-social histories for many years. I composed 1000s of probable cause affidavits and petitions judges loved. I didn't make as much money as Stephen King, but it paid the bills for 20 years, and made me a modest state pension and health insurance stipend.

So I imagine plenty of non-LIT writers come to AH.

 

[SusanJillParker]

In the old days PILOT rode my ass about no posted LIT stories, now my total is over 100. I've written since I was a child. The state paid me lotsa money to write judicial reviews and evaluations and pre-dispositional reports and psycho-social histories for many years. I composed 1000s of probable cause affidavits and petitions judges loved. I didn't make as much money as Stephen King, but it paid the bills for 20 years, and made me a modest state pension and health insurance stipend.

So I imagine plenty of non-LIT writers come to AH.

Feeling guilty by your unsolicited confession? I wasn't pointing the finger of accusation at anyone. I was just mentioning the obvious elephant in the room, not to say that I was calling you fat either. Hell, I don't post here enough to make a difference.

Just one thought that I forgot to mention. Many Republicans complained and accused Obama as not being born in this country even though he was.

We can say the same thing about Jeb Bush. That's right. Did you know that Jeb Bush was not born in the United States? No siree! Absolutely not, partner.

He was born in Texas, Midland, Texas. That's another country to most people, especially for the woman how was running for Miss America. She thought Texas was a country onto itself and in many respects it is.

"There's no place like Texas," said Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz before correcting herself to say Kansas.

George W was born in New Haven, CT. and Papa Bush was born in Milton, Massachusetts.

The only redeeming quality about Jeb Bush, aside from him being the best looking of the bushes or is that bushi or bushy? I don't know. Anyway, is that he wants to pass a law to not only ban all handguns but also wants to tax bullets.

Wow! Way to go Jeb. Daddy's gonna be so proud of you, a closeted liberal and a Brookline, Massachusetts man.

 

[FantasyXY]

lier, lier...

Running for office is a lot like being an author on Lit...

Lit authors write a lot of stories about a lot of things that in real life would be objectionable or could never happen in hopes to titillate readers.

------

Candidates say all sorts of things that they don't actually believe in, or never intend to follow through with in hopes to titillate voters.

With blowhard Trump in the race, who does not really intend to win and can say anything with no apology; the rest of the candidates are going to have to go over the top with the crap they say just to stay in the news and in the public eye.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Running for office is a lot like being an author on Lit...

Lit authors write a lot of stories about a lot of things that in real life would be objectionable or could never happen in hopes to titillate readers.

------

Candidates say all sorts of things that they don't actually believe in, or never intend to follow through with in hopes to titillate voters.

With blowhard Trump in the race, who does not really intend to win and can say anything with no apology; the rest of the candidates are going to have to go over the top with the crap they say just to stay in the news and in the public eye.

Just wondering...

Something I heard and always wondered if it was true, I heard that when a "public servant" leaves office that they can keep the proceeds from their campaign chest tax free.

Do you know if that's true or instead of calling shotgun when jumping in the Secret Service limo, that was something that George W made up not to go to jail, not that he ever would be indicted?

If that's true, then definitely, I want to be a politician, I mean, run for office, sorry, I mean, be a "public servant," that is, as long as I don't have to serve anyone but me and serve anything but my personal agenda.

"Wow! What a beautiful scam? And here I am wasting my life writing (lol)."

 

[sr71plt]

Just a couple of days ago on another thread, Laurel gave a statement on who the AH was meant to be for:

The Author's Hangout was meant to be just that - a hangout for authors. A place where writers could find support and likeminded conversation. It shouldn't be just for the thick-skinned - it should be for all writers.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Just a couple of days ago on another thread, Laurel gave a statement on who the AH was meant to be for:

Thank you for stating the obvious. Yes, I know and have always known what the AH is.

Only, I seriously doubt if others know what a resource the AH is and could be. Instead of sniping, bashing, and fighting, we all should embrace the love of writing.

I am very appreciative of this great resource. Not only do I have a place to post my stories but I have a place for others to read my stories.

Because of this site, I have become a much better writer. Thank you, Laurel. God bless you, Manu.

God bless you too, sr71plt. I wish you all the best in all of your endeavors. I love you like a brother and a fellow writer. Indeed, just as is TxRad and LoveCraft are, you are inspirational men to me. I don't know what I'd do without the three of you supporting me emotionally. Thank you.

Have a wonderful day.

(Laurel. Can we go back to the way the AH was before it is now with the censorship. I'm getting a headache from maintaining my phony smile while writing things that I definitely don't mean.)

I love you Pilot. Kisses. Bye!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Feeling guilty by your unsolicited confession? I wasn't pointing the finger of accusation at anyone. I was just mentioning the obvious elephant in the room, not to say that I was calling you fat either. Hell, I don't post here enough to make a difference.

Just one thought that I forgot to mention. Many Republicans complained and accused Obama as not being born in this country even though he was.

We can say the same thing about Jeb Bush. That's right. Did you know that Jeb Bush was not born in the United States? No siree! Absolutely not, partner.

He was born in Texas, Midland, Texas. That's another country to most people, especially for the woman how was running for Miss America. She thought Texas was a country onto itself and in many respects it is.

"There's no place like Texas," said Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz before correcting herself to say Kansas.

George W was born in New Haven, CT. and Papa Bush was born in Milton, Massachusetts.

The only redeeming quality about Jeb Bush, aside from him being the best looking of the bushes or is that bushi or bushy? I don't know. Anyway, is that he wants to pass a law to not only ban all handguns but also wants to tax bullets.

Wow! Way to go Jeb. Daddy's gonna be so proud of you, a closeted liberal and a Brookline, Massachusetts man.

Guilt and empathy and fear aren't part of my affective repertoire. I was thinking PILOT IS A CLUELESS ASS.

I prefer Obama to any Bush. He wont be elected, because he and the others are clueless to how the Great Depression II and the Great Elite Salvation I abused 75% of Americans. Hillary has 250 million in the bank and talks like she sells her crack from the back of Bill's pickup. Our Hitler is coming.

 

[Nathan_Brazil]

LOLs

Some entertaining word-craftery there..

I ask you to consider an old stereotype. Yes, I know. Stereotypes are bad, but bear with me for one moment.

Creative people tend to be bitchy. Back stabbing and gamesmanship is older than Amadeus. It will ever be such.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Some entertaining word-craftery there..

I ask you to consider an old stereotype. Yes, I know. Stereotypes are bad, but bear with me for one moment.

Creative people tend to be bitchy. Back stabbing and gamesmanship is older than Amadeus. It will ever be such.

Nathan, I do hope that you're not trying to outdo anyone here by playing the stereotype card, implying, without actually averring, that the hoary old image is, in fact, true? And I would also note that your little foray into ageism has not gone unnoticed, nor has the fact that it was directed at a man who, unfortunately, is in no position to defend himself. In his defense, though, I would note that while you yourself are , most assuredly, getting older by the minute, our dear Amadeus has not aged a single day since the Fifth of December, Seventeen Ninety-One.

 

[FantasyXY]

Just wondering...

Something I heard and always wondered if it was true, I heard that when a "public servant" leaves office that they can keep the proceeds from their campaign chest tax free.

Do you know if that's true or instead of calling shotgun when jumping in the Secret Service limo, that was something that George W made up not to go to jail, not that he ever would be indicted?

If that's true, then definitely, I want to be a politician, I mean, run for office, sorry, I mean, be a "public servant," that is, as long as I don't have to serve anyone but me and serve anything but my personal agenda.

"Wow! What a beautiful scam? And here I am wasting my life writing (lol)."

Not true. Candidates do not get to keep any part of their campaign funding that was donated by others. They can keep the unused portion that came from their own pockets, but they have already been taxed on that, so there is no financial advantage to running for office.

Now that we've opened the financial door...
My own opinion of Trump running as a republican is he is being paid by the democrats (specifically the Hillary camp) to run, and do anything he can to screw up the republican primary. If you don't think that is possible, consider when Ross Perot was, um, "running" for president, and all of the outlandish crap he said. Also consider who the democrat's candidate was...

Ross Perot and Blowhard Trump are basically cut from the same cloth. Neither one of them ever did a single thing in their miserable lives that wasn't intended to make them lots of money. Bottom line is it costs money to run for office. Why on earth would Trump be in the race if he wasn't somehow making a bundle on the side.

Oh and what does this have to do with AH and writing? Consider it a character study. These clowns we are talking about certainly are characters!

 

[oggbashan]

Just a couple of days ago on another thread, Laurel gave a statement on who the AH was meant to be for:

I have a wider interpretation - for authors, those who want to be authors, those who want to discuss writing, and those who want to communicate with authors.

We communicate by text on a screen. Most of the posts on every forum in Literotica have been written. The act of writing a post makes the poster an 'author' even if it is only a caption to a linked picture.

Unfortunately text on a screen is a crude medium compared to face to face communication. Tone, emphasis and subtlety can be lost or misinterpreted. A poorly chosen word or phrase, or even a typo, can change the poster's intended communication and offend someone.

We also overestimate shared cultural knowledge. I know nothing meaningful about Baseball or American football. Any references to those sports which might be very real to an American reader are lost on me, as would many analogies with Cricket to Americans. As for politics? I don't know all the Republican candidates, nor would that information be useful to me. Equally I don't expect non-UK readers to know details about UK politics.

As an author I try hard to write stories that are universally understood. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes my meaning when I post is unclear to everyone, particularly as humor/humour doesn't always translate from British to American.

 

[sr71plt]

I didn't realize that you owned a high enough percentage of the site to be overriding Laurel's definitions.

 

[oggbashan]

I didn't realize that you owned a high enough percentage of the site to be overriding Laurel's definitions.

Overriding?

No. Just what I would find acceptable.

As for overriding Laurel's definitions? Those who place stories in the various categories are doing it all the time e.g. Loving Wives?

In the list of the main Lit forums, the Authors' Hangout is subtitled:

A place for writers and readers to socialize and discuss the craft of writing.

Which of Laurel's definitions do we follow?

 

[TxRad]

The sign under the front door of the Ah reads:

A place for writers and readers to socialize and discuss the craft of writing.

 

[Handley_Page]

Thank you for stating the obvious. Yes, I know and have always known what the AH is.

Only, I seriously doubt if others know what a resource the AH is and could be. Instead of sniping, bashing, and fighting, we all should embrace the love of writing.

I am very appreciative of this great resource. Not only do I have a place to post my stories but I have a place for others to read my stories.
Have a wonderful day.

(Laurel. Can we go back to the way the AH was before it is now with the censorship. I'm getting a headache from maintaining my phony smile while writing things that I definitely don't mean.)

I love you Pilot. Kisses. Bye

.
I have to ask myself, upon reading some of your more recent entries, do I actually believe this writer? Frankly, the answer leans towards "No".
If you know " what a resource the AH is " I have to ask why the 'eck are you writing such twaddle on this thread ?

Perhaps you might like to put your 'controversial stuff' on the General Board?
Or maybe even the 'political' one?
'Cos I, for one, am getting heartily sick of some of the cr@p associated with your Alt.
Can you be as controversial about past participles, perhaps?

PS. I agree with Ogg about the AH.

 

[sr71plt]

Freddie's been around and doing this in various alts for nearly ten years.

 

[sr71plt]

The sign under the front door of the Ah reads:

A place for writers and readers to socialize and discuss the craft of writing.

Yep, but that's how Lit. goes as far as consistency, isn't it? The most recent Laurel definition:

The Author's Hangout was meant to be just that - a hangout for authors. A place where writers could find support and likeminded conversation. It shouldn't be just for the thick-skinned - it should be for all writers.