painful writings (the dark inner mind)

[SlaveMasterUK]

How many of you here write about things that you truly dislike?

Is this a serious question? Is it just a vent? Has the Biere d'Alsace taken control of my fingers again..?

I ask because I am trying to finish my latest project, which is now officially a novel in length, albeit a short one. As the story gets closer to the end so it becomes darker and more unpleasant, the main character's plight becomes gradually more painful. And so it becomes more painful to write. Not because I don't want to put my character through it, because she is not real (and this time I will say I have no real emotional attachment to her other than pride at my creation) - but because this nasty painful stuff is coming from my imagination.

Sometimes I am seriously afraid at where all this hatred and unpleasantness that I am writing is coming from. Why do I feel this need to put my characters through all this, knowing full well that re-writing a happy ending would spoil the months it's taken me to get this far, and besides would make an overly-predictable story.

I promised myself that I'd have the first draft of this story done by the end of August and I'm now well into the last chapter, which is potentially the shortest. I can't let it go, I cannot tear myself away from the screen because I am determined to finish this.

There. I said it. The questions within are not serious, this is not a rant or an accusation at God or society or anything else. This is just a vent. Please don't answer any of the questions within unless you know full well what you're getting yourself involved in.

Thanks for reading. I enjoyed sharing.

ax

[there is no smiley for grinning determinedly, evilly and full of repressed agression]

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmmmm

Hmm what can I say SM, lay off that cheap imported beer maybe

I know this feeling, I've tried to write a forced fantasy thing in parts, making each part hornier and more violent, the poor victim enduring more and more vile abuse as the story goes on.

I got to posting part two and have virtually given up, she's still quite liking it at the end of part two as well.

I've never raped anyone and I began to get alarmed that I seemed to be writing this in a realistic manner, as with your tale the victim needed to be abused and made to hate the experience in an increasingly more violent and obnoxious manner.

I suddenly got lost for a way to portray this increasing violence with no prior knowledge, I haven't even read rape or forced stories, not my thing, so why the fuck did I start writing one of my own.

I too was a bit alarmed at the depth my twisted fantasy seemed to be heading toward, and the fact that I had ideas of how to get it there in my twisted mind, but I didn't really know if these ideas would be acceptable.

So I gave up on it and part three is only part finished.

 

[The_Fool]

My philosophy of writing is this:

Writers and other artists are mirrors of life. However we are imperfect mirrors at best. Our final product is a rendering of input from all five senses. But we subvert our perceptions with our own emotions. We filter our perceptions with our own values. We alter our perceptions to fit our norms. We enhance our perceptions with our desires. We diminish our perceptions with our distaste. Leaving us, as previously stated with a rendering of life as it really is. The goal is to be true to your vision. Keep the rendering in check. Understand that you did not create evil, intolerence, good or love. You merely report on what you see.

Your creation is a microcosm of all you are, all you have seen, done and lived. You are driven to create this beast. You can hate it, be disgusted by it, revel in it but never ignore it. Let it go, finish it according to your vision. And remember that your vision is simply based on life. There is nothing in life that can not be viewed, be shared, be studied. If for no other reason than a caution to others about what might happen. There is no evil that has been recorded in art that has not been at least duplicated or surpassed by real life.

 

[ffreak]

In addition to the stories I am writing for this site I write horror.

I believe that we have more than one demon whispering to us. One tells us we can try to come to an understanding of what some other poor soul must be going through when they attempt to flail at their own demons. Another tells us we should examine the handiwork of madmen in order to know we hat it. Yet another tells us it is okay to kill monsters.

It is through the literary arts that we seek to bring ourselves closer to reality through fantasy.

Sometimes I write a piece of horror and am unsatisfied. So I go back and follow the choices made by the protagonist and in each case try to list five other possibilities and then choose the least expected - and maybe not what was originally there. If I concentrate on making the character think about what just happened in each scene, I feel better about the choices.

Then I feel better about the particular demon I have (maybe) exorcised.

People in general are screaming as they fall down the rabbit hole.

 

[oggbashan]

I can understand the feeling. I got it writing one of my stories for erotic horror.

I destroyed my character. I hated doing it but that is what the plot needed. It is horror but only erotic if you enjoy having the power to destroy another person and doing it. If you do, I wouldn't want to know you.

It can be cathartic to write out the horror. At the end I felt that I had vented my spleen about low-lifes who use and abuse women for pleasure. I have seen enough of them in real life and still feel frustrated that I was unable to break the pattern.

Og.

 

[Medieval-Man]

Meus Honos es Meus Vita

I hear where you're coming from Ax, you write it because it is an important plot twist, and hate that you had to, but don't change it becausem, at least with the characters, it works, and though, a happy ending seems... too, let's say expected, a sweet but sour ending isn't totally lost, now is it?

Your character learned, she grew, she went through her Monomyth, and lived, whether is ws pleasant or not... well, ask the main character in Heart of Darkness if it was pleasant, I would say no, but needed. We need out lessons in life, whether we admit it or not... and whether we like it or not.

So, write what works, write what fits, and best, leave as many questions answered as you can, because as much as they get to you over time with the "I should have mentioned this." Fan's will be saying it too, only daily, even hourly, instead of just every few days/weeks/et cetera...

My only suggestion, is ask yourself one thing, "Can I end it like this?" If you say yes, you're done.

Good Luck!
-Meddy

 

[ffreak]

I agree wholeheartedly.

The reason many genre's are listed as romantic (for all kinds of redefinitions) is because they carry a romantic notion - that there will be a happy ending.

Only the 'darker' genre's like horror, mystery, (and here - bdsm, non-consent and extreme are added), and mainstream consider an ending other than happily ever after to be OK.

In general writing we only need a conflict, some kind of effort to resolve it, and a resolution. If we use "Man must change in order to survive" as a plot theme, it is ok for him to not survive if he cannot change.

Perhaps, this is why you felt the character could not live - maybe change was impossible - and therfore the plot drove the conclusion correctly.

 

[Pure]

ffreak said,
//Sometimes I write a piece of horror and am unsatisfied. So I go back and follow the choices made by the protagonist and in each case try to list five other possibilities and then choose the least expected - and maybe not what was originally there. If I concentrate on making the character think about what just happened in each scene, I feel better about the choices.//

I like this. Applied to sex writing it would be good too, since the boringness of most porn and pornerotica, as here at 'literotica', is due to its predictability.

J.

 

[Guest]

My stories on Lit. are utter fiction and what I call "light" bdsm. When I wrote my piece about sadistic teasing (chap. 5) I recall focusing intently on the writing, vs. any emotion. Even when I reread the piece now my focus is on the text as text. I did not identify with my character in any way but for my memory of her personality from the preceding stories; in this one she became an 'other' for me, nearly a persona who existed next to me while I wrote.

Still, I do recall feeling pleased that I kept my sex worker character dignified and strong through her thoughts and attitude during her ordeal, and later in the aftermath. Later I was surprised and pleased to receive feedback from readers who loved the story but were aroused to anger and hatred of the sadist character and felt protective of my elevator girl (one person said she was tempted to get rid of her recording of "Bolero", significant in the teasing).

This stuff is probably as far as I want to go in writing about anything physically painful or harmful, but I do have a deep interest in role play and bdsm lends itself most easily to this area of human intercourse.

Perdita

 

[Pure]

A number of 'romance' novels now incorporate fairly graphic 'pornishly' detailed scenes of the heroine's mistreatment.
Seems readers do get off on it, in the right context, and where the heroine will go beyond 'tragedy' and do well in the end.

 

[ffreak]

Ah, the magic trick of romance. The heroine doing well in the end. How many of these are of the 'If I had only known' variety?

Perdita, I am all for writing for the exercise (and learning) of writing.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I don't know you, SM, but from your name I take it that you're into BDSM, and I wonder if your sensitivity to issues of cruelty could be realted to that.

I also share an interest in D/s and erotic power exchange, and I know that our particular kink always raises with a whole raft of moral and ethical questions. A lot of people just ignore them, but a lot of us don't. In any case, I think we're always aware of our power and obligation to our lovers, and sensitive to our motives and intentions towards them. It's just a shot in the dark, but I thought I'd ask.

The other thing that comes to mind is your age. As I get older I find my stories have gotten darker, the endings more ambiguous, the characters' fates less certain. As far as I'm aware, this is the rule for almost all authors. As we get older, I guess the happy ending feels less and less realistic to us. I never even noticed this happening to me until someone pointed it out.

I have a serial story posted that's been unfinished for 6 or 7 months. I know what's going to happen. It's the only ending the story can have, but it ends badly for me heroine, and I'm just very reluctant to lead her to her fate.

Anyhow, that's my 2 cents.

---dr.M.

 

[Pure]

Yes, dr., the issue of cruelty, and its depiction is a deep and complex one; avoided in mainstream greatfuckmultiorgasmic porn and porn-erotica.

 

[SlaveMasterUK]

BDSM or not BDSM?

Yes Dr. M, I am (or have been) into BDSM, to a mild extent. I'd like to have a stronger BDSM relationship but right now my partner is a little innocent for that sort of thing ;-)

But I don't consider this story to be BDSM, in that BDSM is a lifestyle choice of consenting adults. This story involves a girl who has been taken against her will and tortured into long hours of labour. The story follows what happens to her during her inslavement and what finally becomes of her at the natural conclusion. The ending has a twist in a similar vein (spelling?) to that of my last story; thus far nobody has told me whether Rhiana left them with a sour taste in their mouth...

ax