Pain-free punishment ideas...?

ABX

Experienced
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Oct 20, 2006
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This one's been bouncing round my brain for a while now... my fiancee and I play fairly regularly. She's a born submissive, I swear, and the more we do the more she confesses she likes.

Just recently she admitted that the idea of being punished really turns her on, but I know actual -pain- is a major turn of for her, at least in any major amount. I'm hoping to get her round to a light spanking at some point, but it's a slow process, kinking her further. ;)

In the meantime, I'm trying to find good tasks for her to carry out, or things I could do to her as a punishment. In effect, I'm training her, and I need a stick to back up the carrot.

One thing I've had that worked wonders was getting her to pick something up of the floor while tied hand and foot. It was difficult, it was quite hot to watch, and it must have been a little humiliating too.

Any ideas, suggestions or experiences of their own, GREATLY appreciated.

Edit - I know, most of you aren't too happy suggesting punishments. And I'm not asking for a script, or anything... just approaches, means, as we are both pretty much beginners, finding things out as we go along. That, and I'm fairly stuck.
 
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well, given the information above, id say use pain to punish her. its a major turn off, thus wouldnt be fun or enjoyable. punishment. not fun.

what your really asking about is play ideas. "play punishments" designed to turn her and you on.

i know, i know, semantics, but in this case it makes a big difference. also, you might get more responses if you ask for paini free scene ideas then if you ask for punishment ideas.
 
Well in this case even if I was using punishment as a serious deterrent, I would not use full on pain. It brings up bad memories for her, and would be a serious breach of trust. Wouldn't just hurt her physically.

I suppose I'm looking for something somewhere between punishment and play punishment.

Examples of what any of you use in that kind of situation also much appreciated - even if they don't seem instantly fitting the exact thing I'm looking for - I'm just looking for ideas, because otherwise I'm stabbing in the dark. :)
 
one of the BEST .. in a bad way.. punishment I've ever received.. was a no contact punishment

I'd smarted off .. I have a tendency to be a smart ass.. *waits for the gasps of shock to quiet down* and Master and I were snuggling on the couch during his last visit. He said nothing, made his Domly "i'm disappointed in you" face and slid to the other side of the couch. When I went to move next to him, he said, "No. No touching until I say so." and meant it...

he knows what will reach me faster.. well that and he knows I get off on pain..but to restrict me from himself... that .. hurts..
 
Hmm, I like that one. Teasing she -is- very hot on, and switching to no-contact teasing would really get through to her. Good one. :)
 
I think as long as she is of the mind that to be punished would turn her on, you are going to be doing a lot of stabbing in the dark, and I'm not sure it is a common trait for a born submissive to possess. As Fi said, punishment cuts deep when delivered correctly because that is the whole idea behind punishing someone and being punished, not being turned on. Sort out what it is she is really wanting, what it is you want, and then go from there.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2233/2052066401_be7d982856_t.jpg Catalina
 
EmpressFi said:
he knows I get off on pain..but to restrict me from himself... that .. hurts..
I can just agre with this. Theres nuthing else I would hate more than being on restriction to touch, talk or see my Sir, but theres a very fragile line between whats okay and whats a bit too much. He could hurt me emotionaly very easily this way if he did this to me, so I am really thankful he don't use this on me.

Restrict me from himself it's surely thing that would work on me yes, but instead of getting punsihed I could as well just broke down emotionaly, actualy I know I would, so I am really thankful he's not treating me this way.

I know punishment should be something I don't like, but being on restriction from contact my Sir is a bit too much, at least for me. It would surely give me a lesson, but it would have too much of side efects as well. I need my Sir around and I need to know he's there no matter if I am good or bad girl, happy or sad, I just need to know he's there, always. Push me away won't do me any good, won't do us any good. You gotta know your girl very well before doing this I think. My Sir knows me very well, so I know he would never do this.

One thing that surely works one me is to be teased and tormented to the max, kept on the very edge of orgasm for a long long time and not being allowed do cum and then being send to bed while I beg and cry for a bit of mercy and some release.

Funny thing about this is that I know when it's coming and I am usualy trying to not get turned on too much so I wouldn't suffer that bad after I am told I won't get any release untill he says so. I can try real hard to stay cold, but it sadly never works, so he always gets me with this lol. I am tempted to be an smart ass sometimes so I am saying I won't beg for it, but at the end I always do so.... *chuckles* ;)

Dom's :rolleyes:
:D :heart:
 
Uncomfortable positions are an idea. Put her in a stress position and have her hold it for a predetermined amount of time. Typical schoolage stuff might work too. Having to write a given sentence 200 times is not painful, and I doubt most people would eroticise such a thing (unless you are hovering over her or somesuch). Kneeling with a broomstick behind the knees is another. Being required to hold something of moderate weight at full arm extension for a set time. I like things that take a certain amount of time, as, hopefully, she will be reflecting on the nature of her offense.

It helps to remind her to reflect on her wrongs, remind her of them prior to the punishment starting, and have her explain the offense afterwards. I also tend to abset myself during the punishment (so long as it is safe to do so, of course), as I don't want her to possibly enjoy the humiliation/tension/whatever of me watching. If I leave, she is left alone with her sins, if you will.
 
Ah, thing is I want it to be eroticised. ;)

We don't really -live- the D/s thing outside the bedroom. Writing lines would be a good punishment if we did, but in the bedroom would rather kill the mood.

Which makes it a tricky balance... something not painful, which she'll enjoy AND feel she's being punished... you can see why I'm drawing a blank. :)
 
ABX said:
Ah, thing is I want it to be eroticised. ;)

We don't really -live- the D/s thing outside the bedroom. Writing lines would be a good punishment if we did, but in the bedroom would rather kill the mood.

Which makes it a tricky balance... something not painful, which she'll enjoy AND feel she's being punished... you can see why I'm drawing a blank. :)


orgasm restristion/denial.

tell her she cant cum for an hour or two or a day or a week. then proceed to tease her, have her service you, etc.
 
ABX said:
Ah, thing is I want it to be eroticised. ;)

We don't really -live- the D/s thing outside the bedroom. Writing lines would be a good punishment if we did, but in the bedroom would rather kill the mood.

Which makes it a tricky balance... something not painful, which she'll enjoy AND feel she's being punished... you can see why I'm drawing a blank. :)

Then mis was right..what you want is play punishment.
 
aye, orgasm restristion/denial can be a real bitch!

especialy if you know how to get her all needy and hot ;)
 
Oh, geeze, if all you want is play punishment stuff, the world is your oyster. See all that stuff I mentioned above in my post? Try that, except with you standing by to glower, make adjustments, and generally look stern and dissapproving. It's the schoolmaster concept, and it works if you can pull it off.

mis mentioned orgasm denial, and that's a champ. Forced oral servitude is awesome. Boot worship can work. Make her crawl and beg.

Do some research on mindfucks. If you've got a good blindfold you can play games with lights, such as put her in front of your bedroom window with the lights on, blindfold her, make her strip, and then make a grand producton of opening the blinds/curtains so that "everyone can see her shame". If you turn the lights off in the room while she is stripping (and assuming you've not got a strong light source outside your window) no one will be able to see her. She won't know that, and will be horribly embarrassed.

As to pain, there's lots of ways to cause pain that aren't spanking. You said that brings up bad memories, so try to figure out what hits that bad memory button, and work around it. so she can't take percussive play, maybe she can take nipple clamps or clothespins. I doubt that all pain will summon up bad memories unless she has some really broadly nasty stuff in her background, and, frankly, if that's the case, BDSM might not be a good idea in the first place.
 
ABX said:
This one's been bouncing round my brain for a while now... my fiancee and I play fairly regularly. She's a born submissive, I swear, and the more we do the more she confesses she likes.

Just recently she admitted that the idea of being punished really turns her on, but I know actual -pain- is a major turn of for her, at least in any major amount. I'm hoping to get her round to a light spanking at some point, but it's a slow process, kinking her further. ;)

In the meantime, I'm trying to find good tasks for her to carry out, or things I could do to her as a punishment. In effect, I'm training her, and I need a stick to back up the carrot.

One thing I've had that worked wonders was getting her to pick something up of the floor while tied hand and foot. It was difficult, it was quite hot to watch, and it must have been a little humiliating too.

Any ideas, suggestions or experiences of their own, GREATLY appreciated.

Edit - I know, most of you aren't too happy suggesting punishments. And I'm not asking for a script, or anything... just approaches, means, as we are both pretty much beginners, finding things out as we go along. That, and I'm fairly stuck.

*shrugs* i don't get punishments as a form a 'play' and i know my punishments are not something that i enjoy, in fact they are the complete opposite of that. so, i'm afraid i'm of no help. but i do wish you and yours the best of luck with your journey :rose:
 
Very quickly...

1.) "Situational Bondage" where she's bound in such a way that she'll contend with two portions of her body relying on the other. Inorder to be comfortable at one point she'll have to place the second into temporary discomfort and vice versa. it creates a sense of slight discomfort and, more importantly, a never ending cycle of helplessness.

2.) Kneeling can be powerful and uncomfortable. Place her in a possition at the center of the room and leave. Time it well but ensure you can see her but she can't see you. Ensure she understands she's not to move. After a minute she'll begin to understand just how much it sucks.

3.) Mild humiliation. Being placed up high (dining room table, sturdy coffee table) and naked, exposed, spread slightly and examined can have a very humbling effect. Especially if you use canine breeding show techniques when " inspecting" her. Give her a list of things she has to do to prepair herself for this inspection if you want to add some fun. Scrutinize her harshly for mistakes and generally treat her like property. (this could easily go from discomfort to reward so know your subject)

Enjoy. I have to work.
(damn the man)
 
Ask ask ask ask ask. Ain't nothing wrong with communicating.
 
chauderlos said:
More hijack: Jan Saudek, isn't it?

You know I honestly don't know. It looks like some of her work, but I can't find this particular piece in her gallery.
 
My favorite type of punishment/discipline is uncomfortable positioning. Case in point: back when I still had a submissive when she mouthed off or flung the word *No* about with no forethought, this was my favorite.

You put a penny or dime on the wall at nose height, put her nose on the wall, hands behind her back, legs spread hip width apart. Every couple of minutes, make her slide the coin downward an inch or so..without losing it or losing contact with the wall. If you want to be mean...every time the coin slides without her, add a smack. If she loses the coin, have her place it back in the original position and start over.

Perfectly great, lazy punishment. You don't have to do any work and within 15 minutes, she has the idea and her upper thighs HURT!
 
ABX said:
Well in this case even if I was using punishment as a serious deterrent, I would not use full on pain. It brings up bad memories for her, and would be a serious breach of trust. Wouldn't just hurt her physically.


so she's a victim of abuse? or witnessed a lot of abuse?
be real careful. seems like all the 'bad news' stories out there start off with a victim of abuse, mixed in either drugs or 'deviant sex' (I'm not one to point fingers)...and then a downward spiral.

my advice is to discuss your 'play sessions' the next day...what she liked and didn't like. I think as long as you communicate in an open/honest way, you won't have any problems, and will have more...success?...in your bedroom ;)
 
simple suggestions

why don't you write 'slave' across her ass in magick marker? this way she can have it on her bottom all day under her clothes. Maybe just have her get a pair of full bottom cotton panties and make her wear them one day.
 
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