pain control

[wolf2002]

I am curious about your experiences with controlling pain...

This weekend I had a first, rather turbulent encounter with my pain limits... I'll spare you the details but it involved clothespins and my genitals... I was disappointed by my performance....

I asked around and got some great advice on controlling and expanding my pain limits... I'd like to hear other people's experiences... Any special techniques or just patience and training?

Thanks in advance,
Wolf

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hello Wolf,

Maybe your question deserves a more in depth answer than I had given you before. One of the messages our nervous system sends to our brain is called pain. The pain is meant to warn our minds about something that is happening to our bodies. Our nervous system has a threshold for transmitting. We call this a pain threshold.

Depending on your fitness level, the physical state you are in and the level of training your body has had, it takes a certain stimulation of the sensors in our body to send a message to our brain. That level of stimulation can vary on a daily basis, but normally speaking with training and under the right circumstances your pain threshold will increase the longer and more accustomed you are to pain.

Pain causes an endorphin rush as an automatic response. It can heighten the senses and make you feel that-much-more alive. Pain in conjunction with sex adds the rush to the hyper-senses and blends in the sensations of an already pleasurable activity.

Nothing new so far, most of us know this by now.

My personal feeling about pain and submission is that the submissive should not ever try to control the pain level. That is for the Dominant to control, the Dominant is the one that decides the level of pain and how to control the pain, not the submissive. It is the level of training the Dominant gives to the submissive which decides how the submissive should control the pain.

However, I do know several ways of controlling pain. An important factor that is very effective in controlling pain sensation is focus. The more you focus on your pain, the more intense it seems to you. Obviously, the less you focus on your pain the less intense the pain will seem. One way to do this is to simply ignore your pain and fatigue sensations by focusing on a specific thing, this could be your Dominant’s voice, this could be a point in the room, your breathing, anything, the point to remember is to avoid thinking about the pain. I for example like to imagine myself in a dark room, and then disperse the pain by focusing on the darkness and trying to disperse the pain through my whole body.

The second method I use is the opposite one, I focus completely on the pain make it one burning concentrated point of pain, and then I imagine the pain out side my body. I focus on putting the pain outside my body once I have succeeded in that I let go of the pain.

I hope this information is of use to you.

Francisco.

 

[wolf2002]

Thanks for the great response... one of the good things of exploring BDSM is that there are experienced and helpful people like You around to turn to...

My personal feeling about pain and submission is that the submissive should not ever try to control the pain level.

I agree. I’ve heard talk about ‘subbie space’, which I think means a sub going ‘numb’, not responding anymore to pain or other stimuli. Now where’s the fun in that?

But on the other hand, perhaps one of the kicks in SM is to stretch the limits of pain as much as possible… it’s not much fun either if the subs starts yelling the codeword immediately after the first clamp is put on…

One other thing: Is it true or have You experienced that females, since they give birth and all, can stand pain better than males?

Thanks again for Your response…
Wolf

 

[catalina_francisco]

OK, first let’s address the subspace remark, in my opinion and that of many, what you describe as a complete numbing of the senses is not subspace.
Here is a good link describing subspace.

http://www.consent.co.nz/sub3.htm

And since it is a New Zealand link I am sure Fungi will be happy.

Also there is great amount of information about subspace in the BDSM library.
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=164698


It is not much fun indeed if the sub can not handle any pain but that depends of course on experience. It is better to let your body get slowly accustomed to feeling pain. It will also increase your experience. You are showing a very noble motivation, that of wanting to please your Dominant by taking as much pain as possible. It all depends though on your partner. If the Domme is a sadist, the kick they get is from seeing your body react to pain, from getting a feedback from your sensations and feelings.

I think you should talk to your dominant about what she expects from you, often the sub makes assumptions of what the dominant wants and sometimes those assumptions are wrong. Better is to talk and ask questions and know exactly what is expected of you. I have my own personal view but it might be completely different from what your dominant wants.

About women being able to stand pain better then men, I can not really answer that based on any experience but according to me it is a fable. But their might be a very different viewpoint on that. I will ask Catalina to answer that question since she has the female viewpoint on that.

Francisco.

 

[wolf2002]

Subspace, I like the word... I obviously didn;t understand exactly what it meant though...

However, there seems to be some discussion about whether it is a good thing or not... commonly it seems to be defined as a sort of 'sub heaven', as state of extasis during intensive BDSM play...

The way I heard of it, and this probably explains my misunderstanding, was through a Dom who didn;t want his sub to reach subspace at all, since this would make her less alert, less responsive to Him... must be kind of a sadist then...

I am looking forward to Catalina's view on the subject.. (too bad the others don;t appear to be interested in the subject...)

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am looking forward to Catalina's view on the subject.. (too bad the others don;t appear to be interested in the subject...)

Yes I agree and don't quite understand why there is so little comment.....so be it. Finally found five minutes to spend at home and in front of the computer...wel actually passing the comp.

I am not sure it is as simple as women being more able to take pain. Many do not have/have not had children, and many who do opt for some form of pain control....most will tell you they don't remember the specifics of the pain afterwards, just that there was pain. Perhaps women on the whole are more likely to have read self help books etc., which may open them to the possibility of finding ways to handle pain. Some submissives and Dominants are just not into pain at all.

To me it is more an individual thing. Some have a high threshold, some low, and some practically non existant. I am fortunate it seems as I have been told by a few Dominants I have an extremely high pain threshold, and I actually enjoy the BDSM type of pain, though hate physical/medical type pain...thus it seems I am a pain slut, but only for him...have no desire to submit to pain independently for anyone else. There has to be a mind/soul/heart/body connection for me to enjoy it to the ultimate.

Once again though it is mindset. I love bearing the pain my Master gives me as a mark of my submission, pure ecstasy, and service to his sadistic needs, but if I encounter medical type pain as in illness, my first reaction is to hate it with a passion. The reality is, if I use my skills, I can often block the pain through a variety of methods which do not include chemical intake, but I don't always take the time and energy to do so...think that is partly lacking time to focus, and also feeling the depletion of energy needed to succeed. Hope this helps a little.

Catalina

 

[wolf2002]

The reality is, if I use my skills, I can often block the pain through a variety of methods...

I find a short, sharp pain, like the beating with a cane, much more pleasurable than a constant, pressing pain, like the clothespins on my genitals... it distresses me, and prevents me from feel pleasure. The methods as Francisco described seem to be especially effective to control this...

 

[Justina123]

There are some pain control techniques from natural childbirth that work in bdsm as well. (I had 5 of my 6 children wth no medication whatsoever, including 2 home births.)

I always used what they called the "Bradley" method of childbirth, which differs from the "Lamaze" method in that it does NOT depend on a complicated series of different kinds of breathing, but rather focuses on deep, cleansing breaths throughout the various phases of labor and delivery, which is way easier to remember to do and really helps.

Also, you can spend time when alone learning to relax your muscles- start with hands and feet and work inwards to your abdomen and rear en and concentrate on completely relaxing them and learning to do so even when under "stress".

I believe the physical reason why these two things work is that increased oxygen, and un-tensed muscles, decrease pain. But whatever the reason, I DO know that these work, both in labor and delivery and when being flogged, etc.!

And of course, as Catalina has already mentioned, focus is important. During childbirth,I always had some kind of pre-chosen music playing designed to soothe. During a scene, Sir often will put on a CD and (depending on his choice, of course!) it can help me to focus on the melody or the lyrics, or whatever else. I would also think about the happy ending (my baby!), which helped tremendously, and similarly when in scene I like to concentrate on Sir's voice and how much I am pleasing him and that I can look forward to moments of tender erotic touching every so often, possibly subspace, and the aftercare.

- justina

 

[wolf2002]

I always had some kind of pre-chosen music playing designed to soothe.

Hmmm, I guess I'll have to beg my Domina for some of that...

Thank you for the great advice... am I correct that you are not very masochistic, in the sense that the pain as such doesn;t turn you on so much as the pleasure your Master gets from inflicting it?

 

[catalina_francisco]

I find a short, sharp pain, like the beating with a cane, much more pleasurable than a constant, pressing pain, like the clothespins on my genitals... it distresses me, and prevents me from feel pleasure. The methods as Francisco described seem to be especially effective to control this...

Love them both, especially when I break out in a sweat just trying to maintain it.

C

 

[wolf2002]

Love them both, especially when I break out in a sweat just trying to maintain it.

I guess there's no soothing music for you then

 

[catalina_francisco]

I guess there's no soothing music for you then

Nah...as music is another thing I am passionate about, it would be counter productive as it would become my focus so the pain would probably fade away which would not serve Master's needs at all.

C

 

[Justina123]

Thank you for the great advice... am I correct that you are not very masochistic, in the sense that the pain as such doesn;t turn you on so much as the pleasure your Master gets from inflicting it?

Wolf, I would say that is probably true for me, at least in part. I do find that (a personal thing) pain to my breasts is different from other places and does amazing things to me- it hurts, but it's almost like there's a switch connected to my sex, and I get wet and hot and turned on almost immediately.

But yes, when it comes to flogging, etc.- most of my pleasure is from knowing that I am bringing Sir pleasure, the psychological rush from being in that position, possibly bound, submitting to him, etc.- though I have found that there is a certain invisible "line", for me usually reached after rhythmic, continued flogging or spanking or whatever, where I can and do slip into subspace. Subspace for me is NOT zombie land (if someone shouted "fire!" I'd be out of there in a flash, ha) but an extremely pleasant dreamy feeling in which the pain morphs into painful pleasure, if that makes any sense. But many times I never reach that invisible line where the physical pain changes, yet I still love each and every scene we do.

Oops... got longwinded again, oh well!

- justina

 

[wolf2002]

most of my pleasure is from knowing that I am bringing Sir pleasure

Well, let's not forget that pleasure after pain tastes so much sweeter...

Wolf