"Paging Dr. Freud"---STRAP-ONS

[Lancecastor]

Welcome to the first in a series of "Paging Dr. Freud" threads....wherein we discuss things BDSM from the psychological perspective.

First Topic: STRAP-ONS- "What's Up with THAT!?"

As BDSM Forum freaks know, there is lots of strap on talk here, particulary amongst the womenfolk.

Dommes, Lesbians, Lesbian Dommes, BiChix & BiGuys too....there's lots of interest in strapping on a fake penis and giving it to someone else....usually up the pooper.

While it's mostly gay and/or domme women gleefully wanting to ram one home up a guy's butt....all permutations are open for discussion here.

From what I've read here at the Forum, I've observed that there are two recurring themes to discuss from a psychological perspective.

1. does the giver wish to be a man? (penis envy)

2. is the strapper angry towards men? (gender identity influences due to childhood influences)


The floor is open....

 

[lovetoread]

My utmost fantasy is to use a strap on to a fella.

But I am not a lesbian nor a dom in any way.

I dont want to be a man.

I happen to have very warm thoughts about the male gender.

So where do I fit in?

 

[Ebonyfire]

My take

is this:

I think Freud was an anal retentive git.


As for penises...

Why would I want one? With want I've got I can get as many penises as I want.

A Strap on is just one of many tools that I use to reinforce my dominance over my property - my subs.

And I use the strap on to scare PBW.


Eb

 

[Lancecastor]

My utmost fantasy is to use a strap on to a fella.

But I am not a lesbian nor a dom in any way.

I dont want to be a man.

I happen to have very warm thoughts about the male gender.

So where do I fit in?

Based on your response, I'd say you'll be fitting in some nice boy's bum.

Question: What's in it for you?

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: My take

A Strap on is just one of many tools that I use to reinforce my dominance over my property - my subs.


Eb

So....you are saying you use one just to dominate male subs.

Question: Is there anything else it it for you?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: My take

So....you are saying you use one just to dominate male subs.

Question: Is there anything else it it for you?

Sure I get off on their responses. I have a lot of personal power, but I feel a tremendous surge of additional erotic power when I take my sub's ass.

Yeah, I love it, and it is hot.

Eb

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: Re: My take

Sure I get off on their responses. I have a lot of personal power, but I feel a tremendous surge of additional erotic power when I take my sub's ass.

Yeah, I love it, and it is hot.

Eb

Well, is it hotter for you than giving him a caning, for example?

Does mimicking having a cock have something to do with it....or is it simple physical proximity that makes it arousing for you?

By the way.....why aren't all strap-ons for use by women double-ended??

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: My take

Well, is it hotter for you than giving him a caning, for example?

Does mimicking having a cock have something to do with it....or is it simple physical proximity that makes it arousing for you?

By the way.....why aren't all strap-ons for use by women double-ended??

To me a dildo is a dildo. It does not mimick a cock. But that is my opinion.

Caning is not a big turn on for me, but I like the effect. the effect on his ass, and his response.

I have two harnesses. I have one that has a pocket for a bullet, which I use with or without a bullet.

The other harness is one that is for a double dildo. i use it with my Nexus double dildo.

It just depends on my whim.

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My take

To me a dildo is a dildo. It does not mimick a cock. But that is my opinion.

If I want a cock I get a cock. The dildo is more symbolic for the sub than for me. My subs are not bisexual, so having a real cock n thier ass will never happen.

So the use of a double dildo is not all that attractive to me, it is just opportunistic. When I want cock, I get it. LOL

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

My utmost fantasy is to use a strap on to a fella.

But I am not a lesbian nor a dom in any way.

I dont want to be a man.

I happen to have very warm thoughts about the male gender.

So where do I fit in?

I think you fit in quite nicely without the labels.

Eb

 

[RisiaSkye]

1. does the giver wish to be a man? (penis envy)

I've read all the Freud, Lacan and Klein stuff on penis envy, and the idea still doesn't make a lot of sense to me, at least not how they put it. In Freudian terms, male is normal and female is abberant, by definition. To Freud, all women were inherently lacking (because they didn't have cocks) and by implication were also inherently inferior.

Personally, I don't see difference as carrying a necessary value judgement. Women are different. No big revelation there. And no inherent psychological abberance, either.

I can't speak for all givers or all women, but I know I don't particularly want to be a man. I think I'd miss being a woman, even with all the cultural perks of being male.

I wouldn't mind having a dick for a few days, though. Just to see what it's like. But, that's just a "see life from the other side" kinda thing, I think. Having sex as a woman is just way too much fun to give up. Plus, I can come as often as I want and not lose interest (or go to sleep). That'd be hard to give up.

2. is the strapper angry towards men? (gender identity influences due to childhood influences)

I've got authority issues, but they're not specific to gender. (most of my worst background actually was more female in origin anyway).
~~
I've done anal penetration on men, though not with an actual strap-on. The strap-on would actually be more convenient, if nothing else. Free hands means more sensation play.

For me, and just for me, it's very satisfying. Especially for hetero men, there's such a taboo against anal stimulus; it's incredibly empowering for someone to violate their social role and ask you to do the same on their behalf. It's an incredibly trusting act for a man to basically give his ass to a woman. And that's a real turn on.

Plus, it's always satisfying to make someone come like mad. And men who are comfortable enough with their sexual identity to explore the boundaries a bit can be tremendously stimulated by cock-play. In some ways, it's the "best of both worlds" for hetero men and the women who fuck them. () They don't have to be gay to enjoy the feel of a phallus, and that's very freeing--to everyone involved.

I don't know why they aren't double sided for women's use, although the stability thing might be an issue. Lots of strap-ons have clit stimuli built in, though. A nice perk there.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: "Paging Dr. Freud"---STRAP-ONS

I've read all the Freud, Lacan and Klein stuff on penis envy, and the idea still doesn't make a lot of sense to me, at least not how they put it. In Freudian terms, male is normal and female is abberant, by definition. To Freud, all women were inherently lacking (because they didn't have cocks) and by implication were also inherently inferior.

Personally, I don't see difference as carrying a necessary value judgement. Women are different. No big revelation there. And no inherent psychological abberance, either.

I can't speak for all givers or all women, but I know I don't particularly want to be a man. I think I'd miss being a woman, even with all the cultural perks of being male.

I wouldn't mind having a dick for a few days, though. Just to see what it's like. But, that's just a "see life from the other side" kinda thing, I think. Having sex as a woman is just way too much fun to give up. Plus, I can come as often as I want and not lose interest (or go to sleep). That'd be hard to give up.


I've got authority issues, but they're not specific to gender. (most of my worst background actually was more female in origin anyway).
~~
I've done anal penetration on men, though not with an actual strap-on. The strap-on would actually be more convenient, if nothing else. Free hands means more sensation play.

For me, and just for me, it's very satisfying. Especially for hetero men, there's such a taboo against anal stimulus; it's incredibly empowering for someone to violate their social role and ask you to do the same on their behalf. It's an incredibly trusting act for a man to basically give his ass to a woman. And that's a real turn on.

Plus, it's always satisfying to make someone come like mad. And men who are comfortable enough with their sexual identity to explore the boundaries a bit can be tremendously stimulated by cock-play. In some ways, it's the "best of both worlds" for hetero men and the women who fuck them. () They don't have to be gay to enjoy the feel of a phallus, and that's very freeing--to everyone involved.

I don't know why they aren't double sided for women's use, although the stability thing might be an issue. Lots of strap-ons have clit stimuli built in, though. A nice perk there. [/B]

Your post said it all, RS.

Eb

 

[RisiaSkye]

Thanks, Eb.

I love love love your current av. This is the one I'm gonna associate with you forever, I think.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I had a girlfriend once who orgasmed by fucking me with a strap on.

Does anybody else get off on the dildo pounding your clit while you're fucking somebody else?

 

[Never]

I’d have to say most lesbians aren’t all that interested in having any type of sex with men. Though I suppose if I absolutely had to have sex with a guy, that would be the way to go.

 

[Never]

I'm thinking of getting one of these for Christmas.
http://www.mypleasure.com/store/assets/product_images/0159.jpg

It even vibrates.

 

[P. B. Walker]

I’d have to say most lesbians aren’t all that interested in having any type of sex with men. Though I suppose if I absolutely had to have sex with a guy, that would be the way to go.

The way I read the question, I don't necessarily think he was saying you had to have sex with a man. I know I wouldn't want to either. Rather, I think, he was asking what do you get out of using the strap-on, assuming you use one in your activities with other women.

PBW

 

[Lancecastor]

So far....

Interesting comments...

I am aware that lesbians generally don't have sex with guys nor do they usually dig the idea. (I've won a few toaster ovens for conversions, but that's a different thread.)



That's what makes the practice of strap-ons, most of which are phallus-shaped, so interesting....it seems to me that by now lesbians might have cum up with a new device or idiom in which to fuck, you know? Cocks? Still? I don't get it....

Further, here in the Forum, dommes of all stripes bring up the concept of nailing guys up the ass with a fair amount of regularity, often with a fair amount of zesty language accompanying same, which suggests an emotional hot-button.

But so far, most of the female respondents seem to have sidestepped the question of psychology altogether, except for some freud-bashing.

 

[Never]

Lance:
” That's what makes the practice of strap-ons, most of which are phallus-shaped, so interesting....it seems to me that by now lesbians might have cum up with a new device or idiom in which to fuck, you know? Cocks? Still? I don't get it....”

Your penis is a product of a couple billion years of evolution. That’s difficult to beat. Most women like penetration and if you want to penetrate a woman you’ll need something long and slightly curved, firm but with some softness. Namely, phallic shaped objects. That’s just the way a woman’s body is shaped.

Likewise, placement is simple as well. If I want some sensation while fucking a woman with a strap on, it has to be near my pussy. I’m not going to get off with something strapped to my chest.

 

[lovetoread]

I’m not going to get off with something strapped to my chest.

There is now a strap on for the chin,Tiger has one.

Its so that you can be fucked and eaten at the same time. There is a strap that goes around your head,and the dildo sticks off of the chin.


It looks funny as hell,but it feels divine.

 

[Never]

I’ve seen strap-ons that go around your thigh, and I like the look of the ball-gag/dildo rings. (http://www.stockroom.com/j208.htm)That said, I don’t think I’d enjoy having someone fuck my chin.

 

[Lancecastor]

Why?

Yes, I've seen those in the stores...they do look funny!

I'm not so sure the penis is the evolutionary benchmark for anal sex, if butt plug design is indicative of anything.

And as for vaginal penetration....surely the industrial-military complex and modern science can top the penis, Never!

Or maybe not.....hmmmm, that's kinda comforting actually, Never...you busy later? Ha!

I was asking Eb earlier if she felt the genital-genital contact was part of the deal....but for lesbians, why a strap-on, Never?....why not something double ended with clit stimulators and built in vibrating butt plugs, for example?

There is now a strap on for the chin,Tiger has one.

Its so that you can be fucked and eaten at the same time. There is a strap that goes around your head,and the dildo sticks off of the chin.


It looks funny as hell,but it feels divine.

 

[Guest]

your ass is mine

 

[Never]

Lancer:
“And as for vaginal penetration....surely the industrial-military complex and modern science can top the penis, Never!

Or maybe not.....hmmmm, that's kinda comforting actually, Never...you busy later? Ha!”

I don’t have a desire to beat the penis. It works, why fix what isn’t broken?

Lance:
” but for lesbians, why a strap-on, Never?....why not something double ended with clit stimulators and built in vibrating butt plugs, for example?”

This will sound young and vanilla, but what is it with this obsession with doodads? I rather like fingers and tongues, nothing else feels like that; nothing else is as warm and responsive. I don’t want a double-ended clit stimulator with built in vibrating butt plug. I don’t want a machine to get me off. If that’s what my girlfriend wanted, that’s fine, but that’s not my preference.

Yes, if I were fucking a man, I’d shove whatever up his ass and drive in for a while, but that’s because I wouldn’t have to touch him that way.

Unregistered:
"your ass is mine"

Your ass is my ass.
Your ass is our ass.
So give it to me,
and do it real fast.

Cause if you don't hun
I'm gonna smack that buuuun.
So bend down,
and spread those pretty cheeks.

 

[NemoAlia]

I don’t have a desire to beat the penis.

Heh -- but Ebony does! And, I suspect, so do most men, although in a more metaphorical way.