Overworked

[BadForm]

OOC: No idea. Here's the situation and my character. Where it goes, up to the partnership/group I end up writing it with. Only two necessities: this is not a sub/dom/nc thread (I have enough of those right now thanks), though anything else including consensual, equal bondage, lesbianism, group, orgy, mastur, voyeur, whatever, is available. Also I want storyline to be primary, sex to be secondary. Find it much more enjoyable that way.

IC: I sat at the bar and sighed as my phone rang again. One glance at the number across the top showed me it was Sally, the cutter. Now what?

"Hello, Toni Desmond... Good evening, Sally, how are you feeling...? No, Sally, it's just a tv show... Yes I do know the current crime statistics in... NO, Sally, he's not coming for you, your father died four years ago remember? No, I'm not angry Sally. No... It's ok.... I know, Sally, I know it's tough sometimes, but you can do it. Look how far you've come already. You're strong, Sally. Good. Look, if you need to I've got an hour free in the afternoon tomorrow, I could give you an extra session. Sure... OK... Goodnight, Sally."

I rammed the ariel back into the phone with a deep sigh. It had seemed such a good idea when I opened my own therapy practice two years ago, treating survivors of sexual abuse. I was 34 and had been working as a clinical psychologist since graduating from my doctorate 8 years ago. It was a good idea too. I enjoyed the work and loved being in a job where I really could make a difference, but the hours were so damn long they really weren't hours any more. That was the trouble with survivors - when they were dealing with the really heavy stuff they'd been through, they would call at any time of the night and you had to drop everything to make sure they were ok. The only time I hadn't done that was when I was still learning, and the guy who called me attempted suicide.

Great job, lousy life. That was the truth of it. I'd broken up with my last boyfriend about 6 years ago and had no time for anyone else since then. Besides, most men wanted a woman who could put them first, and when you worked with the patients I did that was so rarely possible. Thats why I came here from time to time. I could unwind with a martini and, hopefully, at least find someone who wanted to buy me a drink.

Maybe one of these days it would actually be someone who could put up with our conversation being interrupted by a terrified phone call. It hand't been so far, but I had to hope. At 36, I was far to young to be thinking of being alone for the rest of my life. It wasn't even as though I was bad looking. 5'8", strawberry blonde hair coming down to the small of my back, nice piercing blue eyes and a 36-24-34 frame that definitely attracted whistles wherever I went. No, not age, not looks... I was just overworked.

 

[BadForm]

<hopeful, start of week bump>

 

[The GrandMage]

Christopher Dunaway

He slumped at the bar, letting his face meet it as he groped aimlessly for a drink that wasn't there. The barkeep sighed, and set down a bottle of vodka and a shot glass. Chris opened the bottle, and made himself a shot. The barkeep looked at him a minute, and sighed again before saying, "Hello Chris. Don't usually see you around here this time o the week. What's new."

After a few seconds of unintelligable mumbling, Chris picked himself up, downed the shot, and poured himself another. "Oh, same ol', same ol'. The boss is spitting fire down my neck, I haven't been laid in months, and the last blind date I ended up with was a rape vistim who knew Kung-Fu. Appearantly, it's a bad idea to ask to walk her home. And, of coure, no one deigned to inform me of this fact beforehand. So my ribs feel like hell, and my arms are covered in bruises from trying to keep myself from being beaten to death. How's life treatin' you?"

Sighing, Chris laid his face against the bar, looking at the woman sitting a few seats over. Chris was dressed in a pair of jeans and a decent-looking long-sleeved button-up shirt. His baseball cap, covering an unruly mess of brown hair, proclaimed the company he was an electrician for. His brown eyes watched her a moment, and then he took his second shot before refilling the shot glass, and, still sitting somewhat upright, he looked over at her again.

"You wouldn't happen to find the words 'May I walk you home?' offense, would you? Because I really want to know if it's something I did, or if she has some serious trust issues."

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

Exhausted. That was the first word anyone would use to describe the man who had just spoken to me, and I sure as hell knew how that felt. Beaten up too, which was kind of a shame. He was a handsome enough guy, but had obviously gotten on the wrong side of someone.

"I'm sorry?" I said as my mind tried to replay the question I had barely heard. "Walk me home...? And insult?"

I laughed. When it got to the walk-you-home stage, I hadn't had anyone still interested in god knew how many months. "No, I wouldn't take it as an insult, but I guess someone did, right? Did they know you beforehand? If not I guess they may have thought you were being presumptive."

I stood up and walked over to him, my face soft with kindness. "Want to talk about it?"

 

[The GrandMage]

Christopher

He smiled, and finished the shot he had, turning the shot glass upside down on the bar, and pulling a money clip out of his pocket. He put some bills on the bar, and the barkeep came by, taking up the bottle, shot glass, and money. He put the much thinner money clip back in his pocket, and nodded.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I would like to talk about it. It's a lot better than drowning my troubles in drink. I hate drinking, too. I don't know if it's the lack of control over myself once I get drunk, or just the awful taste, but I can barely stand it. But, after some days, it's not so bad. Gives me something else to worry about in the mornin', ya know?"

He nodded, and folded his arms on the bar. "Alright, a couple of days ago, one of my 'friends' from work,...I'm an electrician, anyway, he tells me he knows this girl. She was raped a few years ago, and has been working out. So she's supposed to be really good looking, but wants to ease back into relationships. I figure, hey, that makes sense. I don't have much else to do in my off time, and I haven't been on a date for a few months, and I thought it would be nice to go out, have dinner with a nice girl. So my friend sets everything up for yesterday night. We go out, have a nice dinner at the italian place on Harold street. Everything's going real well, we stop by the Starbucks across the way, have some coffee, and talk about ourselves. Seems that sense her 'experience' she's been taking martial arts lessons. Using it as a time to 'grow' she said. Anyway, things are wrapping up, and we're outside. It's pretty late, so there aren't that many people out. I turn to her, she was talking about walking home, as it's only a few blocks. I say, 'May I walk you home?', and she goes berserk. I've been trying to keep the night casual, you know. See if I could get another date. Anyway, she starts beating the crap out of me! I actually had to run away, she was getting pretty nasty, saying things like, 'you're just like him, you pig' and crap like that. So a manage to make it home and collapse on the bed. I have to tell you, this morning, I could barely get up, much less go in to work. But I've only got a few sick days left, and I was feeling okay. I go to work today, and it seems my friend craps out on the job, taking one of his sick days. So, there I am, alone, doing twice what I usually do 'cause everybody's schedules are full, and clear on the other side of town, and the project we're on has got to be done by next week. So I have to put in three hours of unpaid overtime to keep up to schedule, I've had the crap beaten out of me, and I barely got six hours of sleep. Lucky for me it's Friday. If I had to go into work tomorrow, I'd go insane. Hey, you want a drink? I can't just list off all my worries on you without at least giving you that."

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

Examining the reason he gave for the woman being beautiful - "She was raped a few years ago, and has been working out." - I find myself dropping almost without thinking into analyst mode, another of the traits that tends to piss of prospective dates. I bite my tongue to avoid saying anything, just knowing that he didn't mean it to sound the way it did. What it showed was that he was tired, and probably not always careful with his words. There was nothing unusual in that.

"Thanks," I say, finishing my martini as he offers me a drink. "My names Toni Desmond, by the way. I'm a psychologist, so don't worry if you need to unload. I've had plenty of practice at listening..." I laugh. "And no, I'm not gonna charge a fee. I'm not a shrink tonight, just someone enjoying a drink with a stranger. If thats ok..."

I glance to make sure I haven't scared him off and am relieved to see he doesn't look either embarrassed or upset.

"Listen," I continue, "I know you had a bad time with the woman you dated, but don't be too surprised. For anyone after something like that, its hard to trust again and sometimes the slightest word, gesture or even scent can send you into thinking its happening again. That's one of the things about rape - its the assault that goes on hurting; and it doesn't just hurt the victim but most of the people around them one way or another too."

I took the glass as the barman refilled it and gave him a smile. "I'm sorry, that probably sounded like some kind of therapy session. I guess I'm just trying to say it wasn't fair on you, but try not to blame her either."

 

[The GrandMage]

Chris

He waved a hand through the air. "Oh, I don't blame her. I blame my 'friend'. Besides, to tell you the truth, she wasn't as good-looking as he said she was. Her hair wasn't as red as he described, she had nice muscle tones, but her nose was a little small compared to the rest of her face, and,...he actually said it like it wasn't anything to worry about, you know, saying it in passing. He tells me waht she looks like, and about how she's been working out a lot, so she's, you know, all trim and strong, then, as he's leaving, he tells me why she's been working out so much, didn't tell me anything else, and I didn't want to bring it up, especially on a first date. I mean, I tried to be really careful about what I said. But who'd have thought she'd get so pissed about something I've been saying for the last twenty-some years, since I was sixteen? I don't blame her, a terrible thing happened to her. I don't blame myself, I was just being polite. I blame the motherfucker who acts like it's an unimportant detail and then ditches work, probably to comfort the woman who was trying her damn best to kill me! I realize that she probably needs someone to talk to, but does it have to be him, and does he need to take all day? And he could have at least called to talk to me, so I could rest up today."

He pulled out his money, and paid for her drink before looking at her. He raised an eyebrow. "A psychologist, huh? I always wanted to be a psychiatrist, until I actually looked into the field. Way too complex for me, ya know? So, I took up being an electrician. Can't say it's a great job, but it pays the bills, and keeps food on the table. And trust me, I couldn't afford to pay for a session. On my pay? Hell, you should be glad I can afford the drink."

He grinned, and let out a chuckle before sighing, and resting his head on his arms, which were folded on the bar. "I must be boring you, talking so much. Why don't you tell me a little about yourself? Specialize in anything? And why are you down at the bar? Tired of listening to others tell you all about how hard their life is without anyone to talk to about how hard a day you've be having?"

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

I gave him a soft smile. "Actually, its kinda of strange that you mentioned your attempted date with a rape victim. See, my specialist is working with adult survivors of child sexual abuse. I've been doing that for several years now, and truth be told I wouldn't want to do any other job. Its one of them things where, if you can take the stresses, you really get a big payoff. Seeing someone get stronger as you work with them is about as good as a job gets. I guess in a way it's like your job. If you can get the rewiring right, the end product is beautiful."

I chuckled and shook my long hair. It seemed to have been so long since I'd been able to laugh with someone over a drink. A few friends, sure, but not someone like him - a stranger, a potential date or even just a new someone.

"As to why I'm here..." I sighed. "About six years without a date lasting the whole evening would answer that. The work is phenomenal, like I said, but very few people can take the..."

<breep-breep>

I rolled my eyes as I picked up my cell and glanced at the number. Stephen was calling. I wouldn't care, but his only problem was a lack of self-esteem. Oh, that could create havoc with someone's life, but it could generally wait until she was in session with him. Not that I could ignore the call, just in case.

"Excuse me a moment," I said, giving him an apologetic look. "Hello, Toni Desmond. Hi Stephen, what's up? Ahuh... Ahuh... Oh good, well done, that's great... Oh... She turned you down? No, Stephen, just because someone turns you down when someone asks you out doesn't mean that you're sick or perverted or any of the other things your mom told you. It's just that she wasn't interested. It happens to everyone Stephen, in fact, it probably happens more than people getting accepted. Yes, it's normal. Sure. Good idea, maybe there is someone else down at the bar... Ok, see you tomorrow."

I bit my lip slightly. It wasn't so much in annoyance at Stephen's need for reassurance, or his disruption of my discussion, but more that even after so many years I wanted to flatten some people for the harm they caused to kids. Being turned down shouldn't send someone into paroxysms of self-hatred. I looked back at Chris with another apologetic expression.

"Sorry about that," I said, "What were we talking about?"

 

[The GrandMage]

Christopher

He nodded slightly, turning to look across the bar while she took her call. It was a good thing she did, helping those people get over what was done to them. He tried to keep his mind off it. It was a terrible thing that happen to them, and just thinking about it would make him sick.

He waited until she was done, and gave a smile and a nod. "Let's see,...I beleive you were telling me how few people take take the stresses of your job, and how it's really more of a 24 hour gig, so it cuts into your free time. You were also talking about how you've been six years without a date lasting the whole night."

He raised an eyebrow. "Hell, I've barely been six months, and I can barely take it, how do you put up with it? And don't tell me you throw yourself into your job, because I'm getting the impression that your job is throwing itself into you. And I'm glad that you have a job you like, that helps people. You should be real proud of yourself, you're out there, changing the world."

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

How did I put up with it - that was a good question. I'd like to have said that after a few months you got used to it, but the truth was the exact opposite. You got to miss warmth and companionship all the more. Not everyone through themselves into their work as much as I did, not even all psychs. It was just the way I was.

"You may be right," I said with a sardonic laugh, "Perhaps it is the job that throws itself into me, and maybe thats the only way I do get through the loneliness. Truth be told, its only the fact that I enjoy the job, and feel good that I can help others, that gets me through. I guess it's almost like a drug. Certainly messes with your social life..."

I gave him an appraising look and soft smile. "But what about you... Chris wasn't it the Barman said...? What's your story? I mean, I know electricians can be overworked, but even so, how come you have been so long without a date? You're handsome enough to attract the interest of half the women in here - I know, I've seen the looks."

 

[The GrandMage]

Christopher

He gave a small laugh, and shrugged. He watched the barman go about he job, and gave a small sigh before looking back over to her. "Yeah, I'm Chris. Me? Handsome. Why, thanks, but I'm plain. I'm just your average Joe. And as for why,...well,...I don't know. I suppose I jsut don't know how to go about the whole 'Hi, I know we just met fifteen seconds ago, but do want to go out?'. Something about asking women out, how I don't know the first thing about, it just,....it just makes me feel funny. Besides, where do you go to meet women? Nightclubs, with music I can't stand, and people crowding all around? I guess I'm just unsure and afraid. Afraid of the entire system, because I just don't get how it works."

He shrugged, and looked over at her. Then, he glanced around the rest of the bar beforelooking back at her. "And as for those looks, I think they're being directed at you. You're a very beautiful woman."

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

"How sweet," I chuckled, my eyes compassionately resting on his. "I know I'm attractive, but I'm not all that, and the looks I've seen are of interest not just admiration between one woman and another. I know lesbianism is a male fantasy, but it honestly isn't as prevelant as to affect half the women here. No, you simply don't give yourself credit. You may be a bit rugged looking, especially after all you've been through, but most women can see through that to the guy underneath."

I drained my martini and slowly sucked the cherry into my mouth. "As to how to go about meeting women... what do you think you've done just now? I am a woman - at least I was the last time I checked," I chuckle again, enjoying the freedom to relax and joke with him. "and I'm enjoying your company."

 

[The GrandMage]

Chris

He shrugged, and looked around the bar again. "Ehh. By the way, no one's looking at us, much less me. And as for the guy beneath, he's the same. A small apartment, a thin wallet, and just about all I do is work and lay around resting up from it to go do it again. Some people live for their work, my job is killing me. It started with my personal life, and is moving on. Besdies, this isn't a 'date environment'. You don't even know my name. We're just having a conversation, this isn't go to lead to a second, and both of us are probably going to go another night without getting laid. And by the way, lesbianism isn't a male fantasy. We don't want lesbians. We want women who are bisexual. Because at the end of it all, we don't want to be stuck watching. Besides, that's other guys. I don't really see the appeal. The fact of the matter is, the want women to turn them on, but aren't about to go through the work of getting the women to actually want to do it. They'd rather watch, get aroused, join in, and act like they've fufilled the fantasies of two women. Me, I'd be happy satisfying one, that's all I need to be satisfied, after all. I'm not God's gift to women and I know it."

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

"I know your name is Chris, and I already told you I'm Toni, I think. We know each others professions. I know you're pissed at your colleague for letting you down and setting you and the young woman up to take a fall. You know I'm overworked and prone to getting calls from clients at any time. You say this isn't a dating environment and we don't even know each others names... but that's not bad for, what? 20, 30 minutes..."

I sighed slightly. He was nice, and to my mind at least handsome, even if he wouldn't admit it about himself. He was, I guessed, just as exhausted as me though.

"See, Chris, the thing is, a date isn't just about going out to get laid. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. In the end, it doesn't matter if we sleep alone tonight, although I know we've both been missing out on company. What matters is right now. And right now, I'm at least glad to have some company. So... you don't like dance halls, you don't like drinking. What is it you do like to do?"

 

[The GrandMage]

Chris

He stared at her a minute, then glanced around the room behind himself before looking back at her and shaking his head. "I never said that a date was about getting laid, I merely stated an opinion. Dates are, well,....a small, sweet fruit of a palm."

He grinned at his own little joke, and looked her up and down. He opened his mouth, thought better of what he was going to say, and closed it again. "I'm liking your company too. Not too often I'm entertaining a beautiful woman. I like, well, a lot of stuff. I just don't like being crowded, I like being able to sit back and relax when I can. Go on a stroll through the park, read a book, take romantic walks on sandy beaches, listen to music,...stuff like that. Back when I used to live with my parents, we lived on the coast. Had a nice little sailboat. Used to take it out, feel the ocean under my feet. I like to relax, since work is such rushing about."

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

I smiled at his joke. It was good to see his tiredness hand't taken away his sense of humor, even if we were both miscommunicating at the moment. Then I started to think about what he said.

"Sit back and relax..." I mused, "A quiet stroll, a beach and a park..."

My eyes unfocussed for a while as my mind played with the idea. Yes, work was an intense experience with no time to rest, and enjoyable and worthwhile though it was, the idea of just kicking back and no caring sounded wonderful. That was something else I really hadn't done in many months.

I stretched a crick out of my neck and looked at him with a big grin. "Damn, Chris, that sounds like a sweet fantasy. You know, the only reason I come here is hoping to find some pleasant company. The trouble with just going for a walk is you're not very likely to meet anyone, and I guess I've been lonely so long now I forget theres other things I like too."

It was true though, and my mind ticked over savoring the feel of the prospect of quiet time.

"What do you say we make it happen?" I said eventually.

 

[The GrandMage]

Chris

He smiled, looking over at her. Go for a walk? Why not? It was certainly better than sitting at the bar and wasting all his money to get drunk. He slowly got up, and offered a hand to help her up. "Shall we, M'lady?"

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

I reached out and took his hand in mine, standing and bobbing a slight curtsey. "Why thank you, kind sir, I don't mind if I do."

It was light hearted, and that was the way I wanted it. Like he himself had said, relaxation was very important, and something neither of us had a chance for in quite some time. Well, tonight would be different. It was warm outside, and as I had used a taxi to get to the bar, since that meant I wouldn't have to drink and drive. I walked with him out into the street and asked if there was anywhere special he'd like to go? Warrington Park was just down the road, although there were areas of that that nobody sane would walk through at night. The lake was a little further, but could be reached within an hours walking and even at night, there had never been any reports of anything dangerous there. The riverfront was nicely lit. And then I stopped listing ideas. If there was anywhere he wanted to go, we would. If not, well, even the streets could be fun if you were with someone.

 

[The GrandMage]

Chris

He smiled, and helped her up, walking to the door with her. He glanced around, and looked towards the park, deep in thought. He grinned, and smiled at her as he took a few steps in the direction of the lake. "Let's go to the lake. It's safer than the park this late, and there are some really nice spots I know about."

He smiled, started walking, still grinning at her, glancing around as they walked. Not really sure what to do with his hands, he put them in his pockets, and looked up at the night sky. He frowned, and looked back to her.

"So, you always lived here or are you from somewhere else?"

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

This was an amazing switch for me, normally I spent all day listening to others, tonight Chris seemed about as interested in hearing about me. It was good to finally have a chance to be myself instead of just an ear.

"Me, no, I'm a local girl. Born in the city, graduated through the state university and now I'm back here working. Truth be told, I've never had much of a travel bug, guess I've always been more content to know where my home is. What about you, Chris? I guess its difficult to get away from it all when you're having to cover your mate so much...?"

He had his hands in his pockets, not I felt as a slouch, but more as a gentleman. That was nice to see these days. So many guys felt the first place their hands should be was second base. He... was different. And different, as well as available, was good.

 

[The GrandMage]

Chris

He smiled at her, and gave a little shrug as they walked along. He looked around at the city. "Well, it's big and impersonal, but I thought I'd give it a shot, you know? See how things went. It isn't exactly home, but it grows on you."

He watched her for a minute before looking in the direction they were going. He grinned, and looked up at the sky a moment. "The only real problem I have, is you can't see the stars. For thousands of years, man has watched the stars, noticing every little change. And here, it's like they're not even there."

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

"Hidden diamonds."

I looked at him as he mused about the sight, or lack of it, of stars in the sky.

"They're there, if you look carefully. I think that," I said pointing to the only visible star, "is Sirian or something like that. I was never really into stargazing, so I can't remember their names etc. But I was always fascinated as a child with the way that now and then you see a star amid the city lights. It's like finding a diamond hidden in a stream - unseen most of the time because the glare of the sun from the water stops you seeing what is beyond the surface. It's the same with people - everyone has so much hidden beneath the surface, it's interesting just spending time learning about them."

There was a hotdog salesman on the street we were passing. I wasn't so much hungry, as just wanted to take the edge off any appetite that might be planning to form. I took out my wallet and approached.

"One with the works please," I said, "and Chris, you want anything?"

 

[The GrandMage]

Chris

He shook his head, looking up at the sky. "No thanks. I'm not really hungry."

He watched the sky as she got her hot dogs. He wasn't serious about stargazing. He didn't know their names, but he knew the major constellations, and how to find his way by them, but he never really looked at the stars to scientifically. Their was bauty in simplicity.

 

[BadForm]

Toni Desmond

"Come on," I said, wrapping my arm through his. "Lets get down to the lake. You can show me this place you know of."

I took a bite of the dog, savoring its juiciness and the tang of the onions. Not high class food, but nontheless, delicious. Somehow, walking with Chris, it seemed just perfect. I said nothing as I ate, just enjoying his company and the walk. The sidewalk echoed against my heels as my legs began an automatic, barely conscious pace, relaxing away the tautness of the day. Now, the office and my clients felt a million miles away. I could only hope it would stay that way for the rest of the evening.

 

[The GrandMage]

Chris

He smiled at her, and walked with her as she ate. He was quiet, watching the area ahead of them. He never would have guessed this morning that he'd be walking with a beautiful woman on his arm down to the lake tonight. He smiled as they coved most of the area to the lake in peaceful silence.

"So, when do I have to get you back home? I'm sure you've got plans for this weekend, even if it might be only trying to rest up between the calls of patients." He took her off the main street, leading her off a side path towards the lake.