Outed at work.

[maleorfemale]

Ok so somebody I work with,thought it would be ok to let everyone know I go both ways,they thought it would be funny.

It isn't. I don't know how they found out I did not tell them.
I have just been playing dumb,I really don't care who knows.
It is just hard dealing with all there crap.Like-hey been puffing any peters lately.
What is it about sexuall preference that makes us different,I am
still the same man I was before I started all this.
I talked it over with my wife and that was a help but.
at times I feel like I am a rabbit in someones headlights and the fear consumes me.
Other then my wife I have no one to talk to.
Sometimes it helps to connect with others that can understand
what I am going thru and I don't know where to find them
other then here.And even tho i don't know anyone here I thought
someone here would understand.
The other week I responded to a question on here that was
basicly Who knows about U.at the time I said no one other then my wife-now everyone knows and it is a big change to try and deal with by myself.
What did I do to lose the respect of my co-workers?been at the same job for over 10 years.
At this point I just feel like crawling in a hole and crying like a baby, it may make me feel better but it wouldn't change anything.

 

[GreeneyedBi]

Ok, can you say sexual harassment? Seriously, the person who "outed" you had no right whatsoever to do so. Also, the comments and references to your sexuality from your coworkers are out of line, and considered sexual harassment too. Have you considered speaking to a supervisor about your situation? Sexual harassment is defined as any kind of actions or remarks of a sexual nature that makes you feel uncomfortable. It's not right- you should not be made to feel like a rabbit caught in the headlights at work, especially after being there for 10 years.
I hope things get better for you... in the meantime, I highly suggest speaking with someone about this.
Good luck...

 

[ExistentialLuv]

I agree with Green

Talk to someone

No one deserves to be treated that way.

 

[Mary Hall]

I would kick the ass of the jerk that did this...then sue him for harrasment

 

[thickspear]

sorry to hear about your regrettable experience...

i too think the advice to talk to a supervisor is a good one...in court cases i've followed your potential future case isn't good unless you let a supervisor know...

of course i realize you've probably no interest in bringing a suit, but then you don't know what the future holds...

i'm not trying to frighten you and i don't know what kind of culture you work in..but everyone has a right to their dignity and not having one's dignity is very unhealthy..

good luck...a word to your supervisor is probably all you'll need...let us know how it goes

ts

 

[Etoile]

Yes, you should definitely speak to your supervisor.

What kind of job do you have? I'm just curious. White-collar, blue-collar?

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I hope you can work through it. What these people are doing is 100% inappropriate.

 

[LarzMachine]

I say kneecap the guy or arrange some kind of accident, but that's me. Definitely pursue the SH thing. These days employers are so worried about harassment suits they'll screw over employees even on completely BS claims (the place I used to work had a policy that essentially said "if someone claims you were harassing them sexually, racially, etc, you were. Even if you have no idea what they're talking about." All someone has to do is say "this guy harassed me" and you're screwed), not to mention what they'll do for the real thing like you have going on.

 

[mark42]

I say the next step is to your supervisor
That person may even be doing it behind yr back
So report this person/s & sit down & have a chat document everything that has gone on.
Document other incidents after your discussion.Any supervisor who is professional should now do something to protect you.

If it keeps going on go on stress leave even though in our workplace there is far too much of this going on that is not genuine employers are shit scared of the whole situation blowing up in their faces.
Get a doctor's certificate for an indefinate period,ring in every morning to yr supervisor teeling him/her of yr health problems.

The ball is now in their court.
Start turning the screws,get a certificate to see another professional say a phsycologist that person is someone you probably need to get out yr feelings anyway.

If you're worried about cost yr company has to foot the bill

Finally if you have plenty of ammunition by now,you may set up a
meeting with the supervisor his/her boss & the parties that are making yr workplace hell at the moment.

If there is one smart arse remark or breach of the conditions set out at anytime,go back on stress leave,get a lawyer.

I'm not a person that advocates this action unless totally
warranted but you spend half your life at your workplace it should not be a living hell.

This could have ruined your family life.

Play it by ear & see.

I'll get off my fruitbox & I wish luck

 

[LarzMachine]

Damn good advice Mark. I had to go on psych leave a while back, so I know for a fact FMLA makes you almost untouchable. Just make sure if you do the leave thing you call in every day, provide doctors' notes for the time missed, and get the doc to set it up for an "intermittent" leave. That way you can take off any day you want for up to 12 weeks total.

 

[Etoile]

Whoa, I've never heard of stress leave or psych leave. What's that?

LarzMachine, great to see you back!

 

[LarzMachine]

I tell the sad, pathetic story of why I haven't been online over here: https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=233904

In my case, the psych leave was for severe depression. I think I mentioned it before, but since I haven't been around... Basically, you get your doc to fill out a form for the Family Medical Leave Act (which applies to single people as well as families. Apparently it got the name because originally it existed to cover maternity leave, family illnesses, etc but was later expanded. Or something)that lets you use up to 12 weeks of unfireable time off for absences related to your illness. They can set it up a bunch of ways, like a single block of time off, certain days off (like if you have doctor's appointments on Tuesdays), or the "intermittent" thing that lets you take time off pretty much anytime you want. You're pretty much untouchable while you're on it -- the bosses fired me illegally (and got fucked by the state) after I spent about a year on it.

I know quite a bit about FMLA (especially for psych leave), so if anyone has questions, go ahead and PM or e-mail.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I'm sorry you've gone through such a crappy experience.

I say, go with what everyone else said, and talk to your supervisor. If your super is as much of a jerk as the rest, go over his head. If that doesn't work, file a suit. Having to deal with stuff like that is bullshit.

I've always been open about my sexuality where I work. I mean, I don't go advertising it, but I will talk about it if asked, and I will defend queer rights, and put down queer stereotypes when they're talked about.

Some of the people at my office know my orientation, and I've been fortunate enough to never have to deal with any throwback from it. But then, people have been fired from my office for other sexual harrassment, and everyone is kind of on egg-shells.

 

[arljjc]

Yet another reason I am glad to be working out of my home.

 

[Bitchslapper]

Yet another reason I am glad to be working out of my home.

If you had a roommate and they came on to you, would that be considered sexual harassment in the work place?

 

[glamorilla]

i'm sorry that happened~i like vixens advice. i wouldnt try to start playing mind games ~talk to your supervisor and inform him of the problem and depending on his reactions then go see a lawyer.

 

[zhukov1943]

Yeah, you've got grounds for a harrassment suit, if you wanna start one up.

Bad news is that it just might ruin your current career, and the stigma of being a "troublemaker" might follow you when you go job-hunting.

You've got my sympathy, either way.

 

[maleorfemale]

Thank you all for your replies,I have not been back to work for
2 weeks.One week sick leave-kidney stone- followed bi one week
of vacation in the poconos with my wife.
I know what my rights are,I'm just trying to deal with the feelings.And not let them overwhelm me.
I know I need to find someone to talk to other then my wife,
I have an apointment with my docter,was going to ask,who he would recomend.
Any way thanks to those who took the time out to respond
Thanks Mike

 

[Bitchslapper]

Yeah, you've got grounds for a harrassment suit, if you wanna start one up.

Bad news is that it just might ruin your current career, and the stigma of being a "troublemaker" might follow you when you go job-hunting.

You've got my sympathy, either way.

I say damn the torpedoes and sue thier asses off.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

This just pisses me off.

 

[brinkeedinkee]

sorry, but the first thing that comes to my mind is....beat his AAAAASS

 

[Bitchslapper]

sorry, but the first thing that comes to my mind is....beat his AAAAASS

I think you're looking for one of the BDSM forums.